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Crushed dreams

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

How did you deal?

How did you recover?
 

Wolf

only bites when provoked
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
2,127
MBTI Type
INTJ
Deal: Tried to forget about it the best I could. It's hard to do, though, and I can't completely suppress it.

Recover: Haven't, probably never will. It just slowly, sometimes, cools down. It's a matter of avoiding things that remind me, but that's not really possible. Oh well. In ST:V they claimed the pain was what made us who we are.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
Sorry about bringing back painful memories, but ...

I'm curious. How did you know it was time to give up on your dream?
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I have had to deal with life changing situation that I cannot seem to overcome. I had to change my view of myself and my dreams. I had to come to terms with the changes or be destroyed by them. It is not always easy, I slip back into expecting things to be like they were before or holding myself to my previous standards.

My husband is very good about helping me back back on track when I get depressed about things I cannot control and keeping me in the present as far as perspective is concerned. There was a long time where the only way I got through things was day by day, just telling myself to focus on one day at a time and not moving beyond that, but that was something very hard for me.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

How did you deal?

How did you recover?

I'm rapidly approaching the point where my life's dream will be unattainable because of age. And I think my method of dealing is just to ignore that reality. I threw all my money on the table with this hand, and I just have to see it through to the bitter end because I don't have a backup plan. So I'm charging into the dark waving my sword and screaming. I won't win any points for grace, but I will for dedication.
 

Sahara

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
927
MBTI Type
INFP
Having never dared to aim for my dream before, it has yet to be crushed, the only thing in between it is my self confidence, and that may end up crushing my dreams if I don't get better with it.

The love dream however is done and dusted, crushed, never thought I would reover from it, still unsure if I can and I feel like that ship has sailed anyway...tick tock tick tock etc. :rolleyes:

Time is a healer.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
I'm rapidly approaching the point where my life's dream will be unattainable because of age. And I think my method of dealing is just to ignore that reality. I threw all my money on the table with this hand, and I just have to see it through to the bitter end because I don't have a backup plan. So I'm charging into the dark waving my sword and screaming. I won't win any points for grace, but I will for dedication.

I think I may adopt the same attitude. I'm not ready to give up yet.
 

developer

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Messages
117
MBTI Type
INTJ
Try again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

Really, that's all there is. Take courage.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I realize many of the regulars on this forum are young, and may not have had this happen to them yet...
but has anyone had one of the dearest, life-long dreams crushed (or badly bruised)?

How did you deal?

How did you recover?
I don't want to go into details here, but this is a constant theme in my life. It has helped me to allow it to change who i am. I become the person who can deal with it over time. This gives a new feeling of hope in one's ability to flow something like a river around any obstacle.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have had a few large dreams in life.

For a long time, I felt like I needed to give them up or that they were "over."

Then I realized that they are always there. You just have to decide what you are willing to spend your lifeblood on -- and then, as developer says, try and fail, then try again and fail better. It's about courage and tenacity.

It almost doesn't matter whether you reach your dream or not. Would you rather die and wonder whether you were truly worthy of your dream, wonder what might have happened if you didn't bother?

Would you want to realize that your dream -- the thing you danced around in your head with for a lifetime -- actually was not that important because you weren't willing to sacrifice for it? So you were wasting your time on mere fantasy and not enjoying what you DID have?

Chase your dreams. Find out what you're living for, so you can live more fully.
 
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