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The Management of your Imperfection

wildcat

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,622
MBTI Type
INTP
How do you react to the judgement of other people?
Of your faults.

Are you ashamed or irritated, or both, or neither?
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
Own the judgment, own them.

Someone: You're being an jerk.
Rangler: I'm offended. I'm a super jerk.
 
Joined
Sep 18, 2008
Messages
1,941
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
512
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Accept it.

Sister: You're a hypocrite.
Me: Yes! (delightedly) So is everyone else on earth.
Sister: Well, most people try to avoid it.

(thinks, but does not say) Those who accept that they're never internally consistent are far less neurotic than those who try to be perfect and never think themselves a hypocrite.

So yeah, I'm philosophical about both my faults and strengths. I'm not any better or worse than people think I am, and it's ok. I'm my harshest critic 95% of the time (my family being the other 5%) anyway.
 

wildcat

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,622
MBTI Type
INTP
God does not speak Irish.
Rangler and nonsequitur are priests.
Priesthood is not laymanship.

It is a holy order.
 

matmos

Active member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
1,714
MBTI Type
NICE
God does not speak Irish.
Rangler and nonsequitur are priests.
Priesthood is not laymanship.

It is a holy order.

And the holiest of orders is communion; transubstantiation is devouring of the flesh and blood of the orator.

Without passive receivers there is no transmission.

All judgements are either sacred or profane.

Profane judgement is for the profane.

Welcome!
 

01011010

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2008
Messages
3,916
MBTI Type
INxJ
Accept it.

So yeah, I'm philosophical about both my faults and strengths. I'm not any better or worse than people think I am, and it's ok. I'm my harshest critic 95% of the time (my family being the other 5%) anyway.

Ha. Yes. I am the first person to admit being a hypocrite to those closest to me. I believe some traits are inherent to the human existence. We all suck, to varying degrees.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
How do you react to the judgement of other people?
Of your faults.

Are you ashamed or irritated, or both, or neither?

Depends on their motivation and my need for their approval. Here, I'll make a chart, because charts are awesome.

..........................................Motivation
................................Constructive...........Malicious
Attachment
Needy..........................Worried...............Dismissive
...............................but attentive

Secure........................Dismissive.............Anger/Resentment
...............................but attentive
 

Gamine

in-game
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
810
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w2
Depends on their motivation and my need for their approval. Here, I'll make a chart, because charts are awesome.

..........................................Motivation
................................Constructive...........Malicious
Attachment
Needy..........................Worried...............Dismissive
...............................but attentive

Secure........................Dismissive.............Anger/Resentment
...............................but attentive

This made my day :) next can we make a pie chart of the percentages of where people have a propensity of existing on this chart? mmmmm pie charts....
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
For the most part, the opinion of others only matter to the degree that they affect my goals.
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
Haha pie charts are fun.

Realistically, if they have some credibility with you, explore the issue privately, and thank them for bringing it to your attention. Other than that, someone is trying to fuck with you. You can dismiss it through exaggeration, as my first post does. It sends a signal of confidence.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Everything that other people think of as an imperfection of mine, is just the flipside of a fantastic trait.
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
How do you react to the judgement of other people?
Of your faults.

Are you ashamed or irritated, or both, or neither?
I used to feel deeply ashamed when someone would discover one of my faults.
I mean deeply ashamed.
It took a long time to develop a healthier response,
one that is more constructive than destructive.
It's still uncomfortable, but a lot more bearable.

Usually it's something I already knew about myself.,
but like a lot of INTJs, I try pretty hard to hide my imperfections,
they're embarrassing.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I definitely try to take it to heart, but not without trying to "unfilter" it through their potential biases first. For example, someone who's extremely pissed off could probably say irrational things as a manifestation of taking something out on me.. so I know to disregard most of it because of their state of mind. I still learn something from the experience, both about them and about myself, though.
 

Dwigie

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
658
MBTI Type
INFP
Depends on who, where, when and what.
I sometimes am plain blunt and accepting of certain of my flaws but won't let anyone else touch my sensitive points.
(Ok, I usually end up fessing up even if it is intimidating to be "exposed" and subjected to criticism.)
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
The management of self-imperfection? lol. I tend to laugh at myself a lot. That's how I manage it. When I see something I can improve on, I practice on whatever it is. To me no one's perfect, mostly myself. That's ok. =)

If people have beef with me, I prefer they tell me to my face, so we can sort it out. What I learned in life is to stick with people who enjoy others and accept them as they are. That kind of attitude, love, conditioning, encourages people to be their best 'selves' when they acknowledge appropriate boundaries.

One thing I never understood was when people say: "You need to change this and that." It's like: "Who are YOU to tell me what to do??" I believe in constructive criticism. I also believe in respect. And when I mean Respect, I mean, respecting the individual person by loving them for who they are. In turn, they develop growth potential. That's why Carl Rogers is probably one of my favorite psychologists.
 

AOA

♣️♦️♠️♥️
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
4,821
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8
Instinctual Variant
sx
Depends on their motivation and my need for their approval. Here, I'll make a chart, because charts are awesome.

..........................................Motivation
................................Constructive...........Malicious
Attachment
Needy..........................Worried...............Dismissive
...............................but attentive

Secure........................Dismissive.............Anger/Resentment
...............................but attentive

That's cool.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I live, whether I want to or not, a largely transparent life. It's painful to have my flaws exposed all the time, but it also helps me to prioritize what comments by others are worth getting upset over and which should just be blown off. I'm not immune to criticism at all - I feel things deeply, especially if I feel like I'm being chastised or purposefully humiliated. I can't control how I feel, but I can control how I react. That has been a big help as well.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
If the critisism is accurate, it stabs a big hole in my heart initially. But I can usually absorb it slowly and not react too much. I just listen and take it in, feeling a little bad. Then I think about it a bit, and then do my best to change the problem.
If its clearly inaccurate I get annoyed defend myself. (Which makes it look like i'm being very defensive and sensitive but i'm really just trying to correct them.)
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Learning how others perceive you is a quick way to self awareness. Those who judge quickly are not the type of people I’d chose to befriend but their judgments are valued when valid.
 
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