Are You An Ambivert?

[violet_crown]

And if at the far extreme, for any of the traits, I think they'd be a bit more of a handicap for the individual, in terms of inability to access the other end. I'm not judging it as negative per se, just that it would be noticeable and pronounced.

I think two things:

1) My understand of any dichotomy is that it was a matter of preference. Like, all things equal, what would be most natural to you. While I can definitely enjoy time alone, I usually prefer to socialize with friends. Too much time with friends would make me crazy, but given a choice, I'd rather go out than stay in most nights.

That preference is a choice that I'd make pretty consistently. Does that make me an "extreme" extrovert?

2) I thought about the dichotomies from the perspective of functions as well. I'm pretty solidly Te/Fi and Ni/Se. I think of balance as between those poles where I already have strengths, rather than be well rounded with all functions. I think you can be healthy without necessarily being a functions "generalist".

 

[Avocado]

Hmm ... I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I've probably become a bit more extraverted with age. Not in every respect, though. My pattern is something like this:

Early childhood: open and not shy, but introverted in the sense of being more inwardly aware than others

Late childhood and teens: intimidated into becoming shy and self-absorbed, but tried repeatedly to break free of that

Early adulthood (twenties and thirties): shy and reserved but less fearful; still self-absorbed, but willing to take risks

Later adulthood (forties and fifties): reserved and inwardly anxious, but outwardly a little more open and gregarious

Sounds a bit like me.

 

[cascadeco]

That preference is a choice that I'd make pretty consistently. Does that make me an "extreme" extrovert?

No, I don't personally think that makes you an extreme extrovert. I agree with you that preferences are real, and most of us in actuality do prefer one over the other.

When I mentioned extremes I think I was thinking more hypothetically of a sensor who is incapable of moving beyond the details (some brain element that prohibits ability to tie things together, though this probably moves beyond mbti itself, I am thinking of actual brain research of individuals who have phenomenal capacity for detail recollection/memory but zero ability to integrate), or a thinker who rejects or is out of touch with any form of the feeling judging function, or an extrovert who struggles being alone, and so on.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

I think two things:

1) My understand of any dichotomy is that it was a matter of preference. Like, all things equal, what would be most natural to you. While I can definitely enjoy time alone, I usually prefer to socialize with friends. Too much time with friends would make me crazy, but given a choice, I'd rather go out than stay in most nights.

That preference is a choice that I'd make pretty consistently. Does that make me an "extreme" extrovert?

2) I thought about the dichotomies from the perspective of functions as well. I'm pretty solidly Te/Fi and Ni/Se. I think of balance as between those poles where I already have strengths, rather than be well rounded with all functions. I think you can be healthy without necessarily being a functions "generalist".

That's all I was trying to say, earlier - that I'm not a member of the ambiversion team because I don't see the dichotomies as extremes. You simply choose your preference, cognitive functions supporting. My argument was that if ambiversion is a legit term that people can toss around in a psychological context, then introversion and extroversion would have to be extremes because the ambivert category covers everything else. In reality, there are friendly introverts and mellow extroverts...and in my opinion, "ambiverts" are using a popular label to feel unique without really understanding what their preference might be.

Most of the people I know in real life who've used the label to describe themselves are almost certainly extroverts who probably find introversion alluring, since that's been in vogue lately. "I know I'm loud, but...I mean, I'm deep and interesting too! I'm an ambivert!"

You're not an ambivert, GET OFF MY LAWN! umpyouup:

 

[violet_crown]

Most of the people I know in real life who've used the label to describe themselves are almost certainly extroverts who probably find introversion alluring, since that's been in vogue lately. "I know I'm loud, but...I mean, I'm deep and interesting too! I'm an ambivert!"

You're not an ambivert, GET OFF MY LAWN! umpyouup:

Psshhh. Extrovert is best vert.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION] - Ohhh, but it's been popular with the kids on the interwebs nowadays, I reckon.

Nah, I have a few friends who are definitely extroverts. They're pretty cool...and most have not played the ambivert game, either, hahaha.

 

[violet_crown]

[MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION] - Ohhh, but it's been popular with the kids on the interwebs nowadays, I reckon.

Nah, I have a few friends who are definitely extroverts. They're pretty cool...and most have not played the ambivert game, either, hahaha.

There's a definite, qualitative difference between my relationships with extroverts vs introverts. Extrovert/extrovert relationships I have are more focused on activities and social life. Extrovert/introvert relationships have had a lot more depth to them, and have tended to focus more on ideas, feelings, aspirations, etc.

I won't say that I value one relationship over the other as those shared experiences I have with extroverts can be as valuable and formative as the shared inner worlds I can explore with an introvert. Obviously, I'm drawing broad types here and some degree of both are possible with either category or they'd both stagnate eventually. Ironically, I tend to have a lot of meaningful relationships with a lot of other ENTJs of both the romantic and platonic variety. Te-Ni makes us odd ducks in that we have definite "active" and "inactive" periods, and it's hard to find people to play with who can meet you at both points.

 

[senza tema]

3/8

Keeping my introvert status, like I thought I would. I'm really not very flexible.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

There's a definite, qualitative difference between my relationships with extroverts vs introverts. Extrovert/extrovert relationships I have are more focused on activities and social life. Extrovert/introvert relationships have had a lot more depth to them, and have tended to focus more on ideas, feelings, aspirations, etc.

I'd say the same is true for me, in terms of focus. I have more introverted friends than extroverted ones (the one-on-one connection is very appealing, and I like that a lot), but I value my time with both for different reasons.

I had an ENFP friend once who was all about both activity and daydreaming. I admired the way she approached the world, even though her thought process was so different. We did a lot of the same things together, but her perspective seemed very novel and interesting. I'm kind of bummed that our friendship didn't make it in the end.

 

[Kanra Jest]

This is why I don't like to place myself as totally in introvert personality or an extrovert personality. The lines always blur.

1. I do feel comfortable with people(I know, or of similar interests), I feel charged up a bit, and my charm usually turns on. I can talk for hours about concept that interest me personally. But after a certain time, I have to retreat into my shell and stick with pure laptop or gaming stimulations, as well as some texting. To keep mind occupied. - Both give me a charge, honestly. But not too much of either. Too much time alone and I drift to isolation, though.

2. Explains me mainly. When around quiet ones while I want to discuss things I get a bit bored and try to liven up. Sometimes somewhat pushy. Yet around those extroverted in an almost overwhelming sense, I retreat into an introvertive state and don't want to be around it much nor talk. I can play along like them, but it's usually fake and exaggerated.

3. I bounce around from being conversationally extroverted with friends and even others around me jumping from one idea to the next instantly, to being introverted and in my shell avoiding people for a time only thinking in my head. But part could be do to depression.

4. bingo.

5. Usually I hate small talk, but may use it only if I have no idea where to start, to build up to learning more about someone so I have more to branch off of into an actual discussion or deeper conversation. Otherwise, the routine of small talk alone bores me to death. A chore.

6. No strong preference, really.

7. Quiet, or very sociable. Only when it comes to subjects of interest and having it reciprocated I can be too sociable and dominate the conversation. Otherwise, I am quiet and usually totally apathetic and absorbed in my head to the exclusion of all else.

The whole extrovert and introvert thing is more like switch flipping than anything. Just a chameleon.

No idea what that would make me but I most identify with ambivert.

 

[senza tema]

I just want to say that in general, I have deeper friendships with my extroverted friends. It's more likely to be "ships passing in the night" with my fellow introverts.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

This is what I've been waiting for my whole life yes thank you I definitely am an ambivert

Like if I had to choose whether I'm more introverted or extroverted I would say extroverted but still it makes more sense now

 

[Avocado]

haha, want to quote this.



I'm only in my late 30's, yet to reach 40's/50's, but I have a somewhat similar pattern; think mine was a little more extreme in teenage years though.

I was apparently very open/fearless at a very young age, with adults. I'd walk up to strangers/ talk to them; my uncle joked with my mom that she'd have to be careful with me.

By junior high I went 100% inwards, I became fearful of my peers, due to all of the social cliques and thinking most people were 'mean'. By college I began opening up again, was fairly outgoing, but in a quiet way, enjoyed going out, dancing, hanging out with friends; I didn't really tire socially. I've never been a talker, though; I'm just not worn out doing activities / sharing experiences with people (though get extremely anxious if I don't feel I fit in). In 20's I was somewhat depressed for several years, which threw me into a bit of a funk. Since then I'd just consider myself fairly introverted, but definitely not shy, and I like having jobs where I'm interacting with people on a very light-hearted basis. I like a mix of staying active/doing things, and being on my own. I start to really dislike being on my own after more than a few days though.

Yeah, I've experienced the same pattern, though the first stage lasted into middle childhood.

 

[Avocado]

No, I don't personally think that makes you an extreme extrovert. I agree with you that preferences are real, and most of us in actuality do prefer one over the other.

When I mentioned extremes I think I was thinking more hypothetically of a sensor who is incapable of moving beyond the details (some brain element that prohibits ability to tie things together, though this probably moves beyond mbti itself, I am thinking of actual brain research of individuals who have phenomenal capacity for detail recollection/memory but zero ability to integrate), or a thinker who rejects or is out of touch with any form of the feeling judging function, or an extrovert who struggles being alone, and so on.

You should make a catalogue of what each extreme looks like. I'd read it. I've always considered myself extreme xNxP, and since understanding feeling as it relates to MBTI better, I'm also pretty stuck with F and it takes a lot of effort to over come that one even temporarily. The one and only dichotomy I feel I have any control over is E/I, but even then, I have a pretty clear preference for I. xNFP is pretty much so ingrained into me, I couldn't really be anything else, though. I got us off topic, though, so if you do quote me, do it in a new thread.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Yup, this is totally me. Each point. But then again, I believe it would be the case for most if not all ENFPs!?

PS: [MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION] so you are an INFP now?

 

[Avocado]

Yup, this is totally me. Each point. But then again, I believe it would be the case for most if not all ENFPs!?

PS: [MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION] so you are an INFP now?

Yes.
I thought about it and I'm very sociable at times, but really gain energy and prefer to be alone.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Yes.
I thought about it and I'm very sociable at times, but really gain energy and prefer to be alone.

Your case is a good example for this thread: our common thoughts of extroverts and introverts are not the same as MBTI theory. They serve to indicate if a certain cognitive function is directed inwards or outwards, that is all.

Of course INFPs and ENFPs are very similar, we use the same functions, but just to slightly different strengths, levels.

So for you Magic Qwan, I believe the key to understanding what type you are is not to think about whether you are an introvert/extrovert or like to stay indoors or out. Rather, I would advise you to reflect upon what the order of your functions might be, especially the dominant function, which should really be the clearest to you, as it is the one you use with less effort, and also the tertiary function, which is how you respond to stress, mostly. Notice, ENFPs go on a Te-Ne loop, whereas INFPs go on a Fi-Si loops. These two are very different. I know that when stressed I come in full force with Te, I use it to communicate my Fi or Si. Major Te bitchslap. I express my anger, I direct the traffic, I move forward. My girlfriend, who is an INFP, retracts and starts getting into a negative loop of thinking about the past, situations, how she is guilty about them, continues to bring herself down etc etc.

 

[DreamBeliever]

This is exactly 100% ME! It describes my life perfectly!

 

[Avocado]

Your case is a good example for this thread: our common thoughts of extroverts and introverts are not the same as MBTI theory. They serve to indicate if a certain cognitive function is directed inwards or outwards, that is all.

Of course INFPs and ENFPs are very similar, we use the same functions, but just to slightly different strengths, levels.

So for you Magic Qwan, I believe the key to understanding what type you are is not to think about whether you are an introvert/extrovert or like to stay indoors or out. Rather, I would advise you to reflect upon what the order of your functions might be, especially the dominant function, which should really be the clearest to you, as it is the one you use with less effort, and also the tertiary function, which is how you respond to stress, mostly. Notice, ENFPs go on a Te-Ne loop, whereas INFPs go on a Fi-Si loops. These two are very different. I know that when stressed I come in full force with Te, I use it to communicate my Fi or Si. Major Te bitchslap. I express my anger, I direct the traffic, I move forward. My girlfriend, who is an INFP, retracts and starts getting into a negative loop of thinking about the past, situations, how she is guilty about them, continues to bring herself down etc etc.

I did both when I was really little, but after mid-childhood (about age 9), I'be almost exclusively done Fi-Si. I really only did the other when I was "challenged" on "my" convictions. As a child, I was a defender of "The Truth" and I would spend many school days in detention because I would loudly chastise people in the middle of lessons if I observed them doing something "sinful," and it didn't matter who they were. I even yelled at my mom several times and reported her to cult authorities on multiple occasions if I caught her doing something hypocritical. I was non-compliant whenever somebody tried to change any of my views, because I felt anything outside of what my heart told me was right would taint my moral compass. When I wasn't yelling at people for their many flaws, I was quiet and wanted my space. I would get so annoyed when anybody else came near me and if other children my age tried to interact with me, I would beat them up. I didn't want to talk to anybody unless it involves making them adhere to my rules. I gave one child brain-damage when I was in kindergarten. I never want to be like that again, and I'm constantly watching myself bologna fly because I know that monster is somewhere deep inside me. It's lost a lot of its power since I left the JW, though. My constant doubt and self-questioning prevents zealotry from popping back up in me.

Now, I never chastise or do Te with anybody. I'm not good with Si or Te, but Te isn't even in my tool set, really.

INFP, it is, then.

What your girlfriend does is exactly what I do. I'm totally incapable of "Te-bitchslapping" anybody, especially nowadays. Before it was more about feeling guilty about not enforcing JW rules, anyway, since I felt I would be personably responsible for God's wrath against them at the end of the world if I didn't. I didn't want their blood on my hands, which ironically was often the case when I was a child. It was hitting puberty and growing more curious about other people's ideas that allowed me to break free of the JW's and begin to question them.
[MENTION=13377]pinkgraffiti[/MENTION] [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

Regardless, you now know why I stay so hard on myself. I have such a capacity for evil, I have to keep the lid on. I must focus on doing humanitarian aid and harming nobody. I've become more genuinely sociable and kind as I've gotten older and I am frequently complimented on my goodness and sincerity, though I am so aware of my potential for evil...I know I can never be good enough.

 

[kangaroo2003]

Everyone is an ambivert for the most part...