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Attachment Styles Test

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,667
Instinctual Variant
sp
Attachment Style Test - Individual Differences Research Labs


My result
Completely in the middle between Relaxed and On Edge, 33.3% Avoidant

Somewhere in between these two then



And



Yeah. Sounds accurate. Somewhere between those two descriptions with an underlying hope that Im wrong in my cautiousness irl around others. With the hope of being possibly surprised some day
 

PumpkinMayCare

𝓛ιкєтнє𝓓єνi lмαу
Joined
Mar 2, 2017
Messages
1,078
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
714
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Relaxed-Engaging (Secure)

When irritated and not feeling %100 percent convinced of the people around me, I can easily fall into the on-edge-avoidant (mistrusting)-attachment style, however.
 

Metis

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,534
Attachment Style Test

Your attachment style is:

25% Relaxed, 13.9% Avoidant
 
Joined
Jul 23, 2016
Messages
432
Enneagram
9w1
I don't think I have to take this test for me to know lol.

edit: actually I change my mind, I relate to "Relaxed-Avoidant" just as much as "Edge-Avoidant" like Frosty does, and this is a different test so...

7JICGSRm.png
 

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,227
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I'm close to the middle ... so does that just mean I'm bland? :unsure:

  • 2.8% Relaxed, 11.1% Avoidant



Relaxed-Avoidant (Dismissive): Individuals in this quadrant often take a dim view of others, preferring to keep their distance and guard against invasions of their autonomy and privacy. Relaxed-Avoidant personalities tend to have a strong belief that others are too different from them for truly intimate relations to be worthwhile. They may have a spouse and family, and even be solidly anchored in a stable network of friends and acquaintances, but at the end of the day, they tend to avoid entering into relations where emotional interdependence and intimacy are required. Unlike individuals who fall in the On Edge-Avoidant quadrant, Dismissive personalities tend to be quite content keeping their deepest feelings and views to themselves, and they often have a deeply-held belief that the opinions of others are mildly irrelevant or even second-rate. Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close.

Independent and proud of it, these individuals can typically achieve remarkable feats of social manipulation and self-restraint, but on the downside, they may have trouble kicking bad habits (such as drinking or smoking) which they can enjoy in solitude and use to comfort themselves, independently of the company of others. They can frequently be unmotivated or lazy with regard to the duties that others expect of them, but on the other hand, they are often very original (since they are not hindered by concerns about having to conform to the expectations of the group). Finally, they also tend to be intelligent risk-takers, since they are at heart relaxed and cool under fire.
 

Verona

New member
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
590
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
61.1% Relaxed, 52.8% Engaging

Relaxed-Engaging (Secure): Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,559
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
36.1% Relaxed, 38.9% Engaging

Attachment Style Test - Individual Differences Research Labs via @idr_labs

Relaxed-Engaging (Secure): Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.
 

Yuurei

Noncompliant
Joined
Sep 29, 2016
Messages
4,509
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Relaxed-Avoidant (Dismissive): Individuals in this quadrant often take a dim view of others, preferring to keep their distance and guard against invasions of their autonomy and privacy. Relaxed-Avoidant personalities tend to have a strong belief that others are too different from them for truly intimate relations to be worthwhile. They may have a spouse and family, and even be solidly anchored in a stable network of friends and acquaintances, but at the end of the day, they tend to avoid entering into relations where emotional interdependence and intimacy are required. Unlike individuals who fall in the On Edge-Avoidant quadrant, Dismissive personalities tend to be quite content keeping their deepest feelings and views to themselves, and they often have a deeply-held belief that the opinions of others are mildly irrelevant or even second-rate. Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close.

Independent and proud of it, these individuals can typically achieve remarkable feats of social manipulation and self-restraint, but on the downside, they may have trouble kicking bad habits (such as drinking or smoking) which they can enjoy in solitude and use to comfort themselves, independently of the company of others. They can frequently be unmotivated or lazy with regard to the duties that others expect of them, but on the other hand, they are often very original (since they are not hindered by concerns about having to conform to the expectations of the group). Finally, they also tend to be intelligent risk-takers, since they are at heart relaxed and cool under fire.

Oh damn. You caught me.
 
Last edited:

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,339
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Your attachment style is:

61.1% Relaxed, 16.7% Engaging




Relaxed-Engaging (Secure) : Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.


While I am more comfortable with intimacy now than I ever have been before, I am still highly selective about how much of my core I bear to others. Sharing information and expressing it are sometimes separate for me, and only a handful of people are consistently privy to the latter. I don’t think the worst of people, but I am well aware that humans are messy. My trust is earned, and at times tailored to the capacity I’ve observed within the specific individual I’ve bonded with. Not much gets under my skin when it comes to people I am not emotionally invested in, which is quite freeing.



I used to have more of the classic ”fearful-avoidant” sort of attachment, often described in various texts on attachment theory:


Fearful-avoidant Attachment
People with losses or other trauma, such as sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence may often develop this type of attachment and tend to agree with the following statements: "I am somewhat uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to other people." On the other hand, they tend to feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness. These mixed feelings are combined with sometimes unconscious, negative views about themselves and their attachments. They commonly view themselves as unworthy of responsiveness from their attachments, and they don't trust the intentions of their attachments. Similar to the dismissive-avoidant attachment style, people with a fearful-avoidant attachment style seek less intimacy from attachments and frequently suppress and deny their feelings. Because of this, they are much less comfortable expressing affection.



I’ve faced a lot of pain, fear, and death in my early life. Pain makes you cautious. A little caution is healthy, but it can be overdone, and become rather paralyzing. There is no sustainable means of halfway doing relationships. Halfway loving doesn’t exist.


It took learning to love and accept myself (yay therapy!) to see it. It took more pain and death for me to feel it. I’ve stood over too many open graves in the past few years. Of people who lived and loved in constant fear. I can’t ever be that way again, myself. I know too well where that road leads.
 

Norexan

Quetzalcoatl
Joined
Jul 2, 2017
Messages
2,222
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sp
Your attachment style is:

36.1% Relaxed, 2.8% Avoidant
graph.png



Relaxed-Avoidant (Dismissive): Individuals in this quadrant often take a dim view of others, preferring to keep their distance and guard against invasions of their autonomy and privacy. Relaxed-Avoidant personalities tend to have a strong belief that others are too different from them for truly intimate relations to be worthwhile. They may have a spouse and family, and even be solidly anchored in a stable network of friends and acquaintances, but at the end of the day, they tend to avoid entering into relations where emotional interdependence and intimacy are required. Unlike individuals who fall in the On Edge-Avoidant quadrant, Dismissive personalities tend to be quite content keeping their deepest feelings and views to themselves, and they often have a deeply-held belief that the opinions of others are mildly irrelevant or even second-rate. Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close.

Independent and proud of it, these individuals can typically achieve remarkable feats of social manipulation and self-restraint, but on the downside, they may have trouble kicking bad habits (such as drinking or smoking) which they can enjoy in solitude and use to comfort themselves, independently of the company of others. They can frequently be unmotivated or lazy with regard to the duties that others expect of them, but on the other hand, they are often very original (since they are not hindered by concerns about having to conform to the expectations of the group). Finally, they also tend to be intelligent risk-takers, since they are at heart relaxed and cool under fire.


Relaxed-Engaging (Secure): Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.
 

Aquarelle

Starcrossed Seafarer
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
3,144
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
25% Relaxed, 55.6% Engaging

Relaxed-Engaging individuals tend to have good self-esteem and typically find it easy to share their feelings and opinions with others. They spend less time fretting and second-guessing themselves than individuals in the other three quadrants, and they generally find it easy to ask others for help or support when in need. They are usually straightforward and trusting in their relations with others, and their usual state is one of being open, approachable, and relaxed. For this reason, they typically have fewer interpersonal defenses than others. They naturally seek to connect with others while remaining realistic about the transformative power of intimate relationships: Relaxed-Engaging individuals don't expect to be swept off their feet, or to have their entire world turned upside-down by the arrival of some romantic savior or the like - they're already "comfortable in their own skin," so to speak. Instead, they seek to cultivate simple virtues, such as mutual trust and a sense of shared intimacy with others. They generally don't play games, but seek to establish uncomplicated and mutually beneficial relationships.

Pretty accurate, I guess, though I don't really feel like I'm "approachable" and I do often have trouble asking for help. And the bolded part... man. I guess that's true of me now, but it took me until my late 20s to get there. Wish I'd have gotten to that point sooner; it would have made a lot of my relationships a lot better. :p
 

Suaimhneas

New member
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
53
5.6% On Edge, 36.1% Avoidant

Untitled.jpg

I would agree with the On Edge-Avoidant. This portion of Relaxed-Avoidant stood out to me, "Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close." While I do not like to admit it, I can also relate (somewhat) the "The Helpmate" persona of On Edge-Engaging in one or two past long term relationships. Thanks for the quiz recommendation, it was a good one.
 

Neal Caffreynated

Artist/Playboy/Traveller
Joined
Mar 26, 2017
Messages
2,368
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
My attachment style is Relaxed/Avoidant (33.3% Relaxed, 55.6% Avoidant)

Relaxed-Avoidant (Dismissive): Individuals in this quadrant often take a dim view of others, preferring to keep their distance and guard against invasions of their autonomy and privacy. Relaxed-Avoidant personalities tend to have a strong belief that others are too different from them for truly intimate relations to be worthwhile. They may have a spouse and family, and even be solidly anchored in a stable network of friends and acquaintances, but at the end of the day, they tend to avoid entering into relations where emotional interdependence and intimacy are required. Unlike individuals who fall in the On Edge-Avoidant quadrant, Dismissive personalities tend to be quite content keeping their deepest feelings and views to themselves, and they often have a deeply-held belief that the opinions of others are mildly irrelevant or even second-rate. Consequently, many Dismissive types are often quite good at dissimulating, that is, appearing to share their innermost thoughts, while in reality, they are simply appeasing others without ever letting them come close.

Independent and proud of it, these individuals can typically achieve remarkable feats of social manipulation and self-restraint, but on the downside, they may have trouble kicking bad habits (such as drinking or smoking) which they can enjoy in solitude and use to comfort themselves, independently of the company of others. They can frequently be unmotivated or lazy with regard to the duties that others expect of them, but on the other hand, they are often very original (since they are not hindered by concerns about having to conform to the expectations of the group). Finally, they also tend to be intelligent risk-takers, since they are at heart relaxed and cool under fire.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,230
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Interesting. I just took it and got 11.1% Relaxed, 58.3% Engaging

But I had taken it previously and got 22.2% On Edge, 30.6% Engaging
 

Zhaylin

New member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
468
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Your attachment style is:

44.4% Relaxed, 19.4% Engaging
But I'm very close to the avoidance side of the line.
 

Hellena Handbasket

Daywalker
Joined
Apr 11, 2018
Messages
1,152
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
666
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
graph.png



Attachment Style Test
Your attachment style is:

69.4% Relaxed, 25% Engaging
 
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