Social Desirability Scale

[CzeCze]

I got 2 as well.

I think the two I got were I always try to practice what I preach and When I don’t know something I don’t mind at all admitting it.

I also picked 'practice what I preach' and 'goes out of the way for others'. Even if sometimes it's a pain in the ass and I don't want to, I feel like I'm hardwired to offer to help. Sometimes I wonder how much of this is my own NF idiocy and how much it's been drilled into me that "good girls always offer to help". Then again, once at a party I offered to help clean up and the hostess, an IXFJ (I think INFJ) called me out and said "oh you're offering to help now that we're almost done cleaning up?" My response was partly 1) yeaaaaah for timing! and 2) well damn, let me retract that offer then and get back on the couch so I can finish up these nachos.

It isn't that bad of a test. It throws your results back at you and asks you to self reflect. That is pretty unique for a test.

I have a different take because I didn't really self reflect after I got the answers.

I've taken a number of other tests like this. Even EHarmony asks questions like this on their initial diagnostic. It still surprises me when questions are asked "have you ever been happy at another's misfortune" or "are you sometimes glad when others fail" and "do you ever wish ill of others"? It just seems really obvious and natural to me that the answer is HELL YES so why even bother asking.

If you want to win that means others have to lose. When we relied on hunting, we had to kill animals. When resources are scarce, you fight others for it and the have nots are SOL. If I really dislike someone, obviously, I don't want GOOD things to happen to them. Yes, I experience intense moments of jealousy, that means that I have desires and hopes of my own that I want to fulfill and accompanying regrets. I don't think these base instincts and reactions say anything about either ethical mettle or 'social desirability'.

For whatever reason, perhaps I'm just really aware and comfortable with my 'baser instincts'. And yes, I seriously do think the great majority of people do react instinctively in a similar fashion. There's no judgement there. I think it's just human behavior and evolution. It's how you choose to act past that point that is the decisive factor. And yes, I can believe that there are some people in the minority who really do not react to things in such a bastardly fashion as myself.

Yes, good "good" people do exist. God bless ya. I don't know how you do it.

PS I take it back Wolfy, the test did make me think. Because the posted results in the thread are blowing my mind. Perhaps I am just truly more bastardly and base in my make-up than I thought. I will have to research new career options now...

 

[wolfy]

What I mean by self reflect is that it seems to be testing something other than what it says. It says it is testing social desirability but it is testing your desire to be socially desirable. So the test is designed to test something along the lines of what you are talking about.

 

[Hazashin]

I've taken a number of other tests like this. Even EHarmony asks questions like this on their initial diagnostic. It still surprises me when questions are asked "have you ever been happy at another's misfortune" or "are you sometimes glad when others fail" and "do you ever wish ill of others"? It just seems really obvious and natural to me that the answer is HELL YES so why even bother asking.

I don't relate with this at ALL.

 

[SilkRoad]

I got 8, which surprised me a little, because of - you know - the Fe, and all

It kind of makes sense. I have a pretty easy time seeing my own failings and owning up to them honestly. What I have a much harder time with is when others point those failings out to me and criticize me...

I have many, many weaknesses and failings but I think I have self-awareness on my side, as well. I didn't even have to think twice about the questions along the lines of "have you ever wanted revenge" or "have you felt jealous of others", etc. Of course I have, who are you kidding? There are a few people out there who I'm probably never, ever going to wish well and who I'd be glad to see something bad happen to, as it would be quite satisfying and would be a nice example of poetic justice and evening of scores. I'm not proud of that, in fact I'm rather ashamed, especially as it goes against my beliefs...but it's a fact, and I have not yet found a way to really change it.

It is funny in a way, though, because I am generally perceived as being smooth, diplomatic, polite, gracious, forgiving...I mean seriously, people tell me these things quite regularly. I know the truth, though. In some ways I really am those things and am genuinely nice and kind. In other ways I've got a pretty dark, cold and vengeful side. What human being isn't made up of light and dark?

 

[CzeCze]

I don't relate with this at ALL.

Gosh you INFPs can be gentle spirits. What is your Enneagram type?

 

[Hazashin]

I didn't even have to think twice about the questions along the lines of "have you ever wanted revenge" or "have you felt jealous of others", etc. Of course I have, who are you kidding? There are a few people out there who I'm probably never, ever going to wish well and who I'd be glad to see something bad happen to, as it would be quite satisfying and would be a nice example of poetic justice and evening of scores.

Now see, I don't relate with this at all. If someone makes bad choices or is a bad person, I want them to "see the light," so to speak, not wish they continue with their destructive behavior.

 

[Hazashin]

Gosh you INFPs can be gentle spirits. What is your Enneagram type?

6w7

 

[CzeCze]

6w7

Really??

Dang, from your responses I was expecting more a 9 or a 1 or maybe a 1w2.

 

[Hazashin]

Really??

Dang, from your responses I was expecting more a 9 or a 1 or maybe a 1w2.

No, I'm far too anxious and worring to be a 9, and I am way too forgiving and accepting to be a 1.

 

[SilkRoad]

Now see, I don't relate with this at all. If someone makes bad choices or is a bad person, I want them to "see the light," so to speak, not wish they continue with their destructive behavior.

Sure, that would be nice. But some people have consistently shown that they desire to continue down a path of destructive behaviour. Often, and very annoyingly, those people seem to get everything they want out of life. So I would be lying if I said it was not satisfying to see everything fall apart for them.

I do want people to see the light as well, and I do think people can change. But in so many cases (most?) - they really don't. They're too selfish. I have had many experiences and have witnessed many more at more of a distance to confirm this. If you hold out too much hope for people to change, you get hurt. Repeatedly. A bit of self-protection is not a bad thing.

The trouble with my latent desire for revenge is that it tends to cause me more pain than I would actually experience if I could let go a bit more. Or at least let go and watch "you reap what you sow"/karma/poetic justice do its thing.

 

[Hazashin]

Sure, that would be nice. But some people have consistently shown that they desire to continue down a path of destructive behaviour. Often, and very annoyingly, those people seem to get everything they want out of life. So I would be lying if I said it was not satisfying to see everything fall apart for them.

I do want people to see the light as well, and I do think people can change. But in so many cases (most?) - they really don't. They're too selfish. I have had many experiences and have witnessed many more at more of a distance to confirm this. If you hold out too much hope for people to change, you get hurt. Repeatedly. A bit of self-protection is not a bad thing.

The trouble with my latent desire for revenge is that it tends to cause me more pain than I would actually experience if I could let go a bit more. Or at least let go and watch "you reap what you sow"/karma/poetic justice do its thing.

Well, I should let you know that I have never felt the feeling of wanting revenge, not even as a child. When I was bullied, I felt sorry for the bullies that they were even driven to that state of mind. I know these type of people won't change. I know they're "too selfish". But that doesn't stop me from caring about them. I want what's best for them.

 

[SilkRoad]

Well, I should let you know that I have never felt the feeling of wanting revenge, not even as a child. When I was bullied, I felt sorry for the bullies that they were even driven to that state of mind. I know these type of people won't change. I know they're "too selfish". But that doesn't stop me from caring about them. I want what's best for them.

I can honestly say that is impressive and I wish I was more like that. I aspire to it.

I'm pretty caring/wanting people to change/wanting what's best for them....up to a point. Then a switch flips and I just feel cold toward them and don't wish them well. Unless they come back and apologise and show that they've genuinely changed long-term but people very seldom do that.

 

[Hazashin]

I can honestly say that is impressive and I wish I was more like that. I aspire to it.

Thank you!

I'm pretty caring/wanting people to change/wanting what's best for them....up to a point. Then a switch flips and I just feel cold toward them and don't wish them well. Unless they come back and apologise and show that they've genuinely changed long-term but people very seldom do that.

Which is what makes it even more heartbreaking, for me, that a majority of them won't even get better. This is why I want to be a psychologist.

 

[Southern Kross]

I don't relate with this at ALL.

Same here. I take no pleasure in watching people screw up or suffer. I'm the person who cringes in sympathetic agony when watching other people embarrass themselves, while everyone else laughs hysterically.

 

[citizen cane]

8.

 

[Eagle]

19.
Which is interesting. Lately I've actually been thinking on similar issues of 'social desirability'.

 

[Hazashin]

Same here. I take no pleasure in watching people screw up or suffer. I'm the person who cringes in sympathetic agony when watching other people embarrass themselves, while everyone else laughs hysterically.

I'm totally the same way. I guess it's an IxFP thing. It makes me wonder how people think Fi is always a selfish function...

 

[Elfa]

My score is 18.

Not taking pleasure from other's suffering seems common to INFPs here. That's a nice thing to know. ^^
And I think it relates to the other 2 INFPs I know in person. ^^

Which is what makes it even more heartbreaking, for me, that a majority of them won't even get better. This is why I want to be a psychologist.

Heeeey! Another one who wants be a psychologist here! :hi:

 

[Santosha]

I scored 19 (average range) which is rather impressive since I don't put a whole lot of value on social desirability by these standards. =) I'm neither heartless or a doormat.. sounds about right =)

 

[lunalum]

I got 11.....

Most of the questions on the test only ask you how you FEEL or initially react to things, not the decisions you make, your moral reasoning, and how you act or treat others. To me, the questionnaire doesn't make sense.

Yeah, some things I really just don't have some of the usual negative reactions that some people seem to have. It's not that I have superior moral reasoning/acting/control/whatever...

Like, if I don't like someone, why would that mean I want something bad to happen to them? I neither think or feel that way. It's better for good things to happen then bad things regardless, isn't it? It helps us all for that person to be improved upon rather than deteriorate and really turn nasty.

Also, even when I've had extreme rage moments, I do not feel the urge to damage people or things. I've screamed until my voice got hoarse, and intensely wanted to install a chip in their heads for them to stop being so stupid or aggressive, but I think I'm just not a physical enough person to connect my rage to my body and get violent.

But then I don't really dislike people either, except maybe ridiculously bad criminals, but even then I don't want bad things to happen to them, I just want them as far away from hurting another person as possible. If bad things happen to them at that island they are dropped off to, oh well...

Also, people are bastards and have bastardly instincts.

I never understood this line of reasoning.

I don't think these base instincts and reactions say anything about either ethical mettle or 'social desirability'.

True, I think the questionnaire is more about having a bias towards answering in a more socially desirable way, than actually getting at how socially desirable you are.

I'm totally the same way. I guess it's an IxFP thing. It makes me wonder how people think Fi is always a selfish function...

I don't think it is, seems to me more like Fi is just as likely to be kind to everyone because it is simply "right", as it is to want to punish people who violate certain principles.

I don't really get you Fi'ers though, this striving for goodness.... I just think people are cool