I'm not sure why I was chosen to receive this as I'm not a forum "key player". I'm glad I did though it opened my eyes to the behind the scene operations of this place. Soon (couple of days maybe) this will be swept under the rug, some ignorant-of-the-fact folks who did not receive this information will be saying "hey you guys are so awesome" "I don't see anything wrong with what they did" blah blah blah etc. etc. I imagine even a few who did get this message will say the same thing. I'm not one of those people for the record.
Before this gets forgotten about and the above happens I've got a few things to say. No matter how you try to rationalize your behavior(s) and how far it was carried it was wrong. If you aren't willing to make those kind of douchebag comments in public you shouldn't say them. Jennifer in particular anything I've said to anyone else about you (very little actually) I've said directly to you as well. It's your life....and like other members and their personal/romantic life its their business! The assassination of someones character, the willful involvement/discussion of someones life outside the forum, the personal hateful comments about a few people in particular wasn't "blowing off steam". You have no business in peoples romantic life as a group...none at all. You have violated the trust of the community in my opinion and like Wolf this includes many people I thought were level-headed, fair, intelligent folks.
I learned from this about MBTIc. I no longer believe that integrity is a deciding factor in the choosing of a mod or admin or regularly used in decisions that are made. Zergling was wrong and all of the mods/admins involved were too. What is most hurtful is that it was almost all of them. Unfortunately this was a lose/lose situation for most people. Don't get me wrong a snarky comment here and there is quite natural. I don't think anyone among us expected anything less then that. People talk about people fact of life. However lets keep in mind most of us know when it's going to be hurtful and then there is a choice to make. You crossed the line beyond snarky repeatedly, went hard into hurtful and then found it highly amusing. I hate to say it but I was naive about some of you.
My hope from posting this is simple. I've been a mod of a very large (1000 + member) forum for two years now and beginning September 1st I will be the only admin. I take it there was more then one of these long PMs. I'm honestly glad I read only the one version it was enough to hurt my feelings pretty damn good (and none of the comments were even about me) call me a wussy I guess. The talking so harshly about great new members who contribute a consistent positive influence was majorly sucky, uncalled for and undeserved. I know I cannot go into specifics of what was said in this PM however Zergling did inflict the damage he set out to do at least with this persons opinion. The point is none of these kind of conversations happen in our mod box....it can be helped. When it starts it usually only takes one person to say stop and sometimes it only takes a mere hint. We have to discuss peoples antics all the time and how we will deal with. I guess moderating yourself and realizing your opinion matters to some people solely because you were chosen to be a leader can be hard to do or understand for some people. You didn't have to go nearly as far as many of you did even when you get aggravated. You chose to do so and in my opinion it was the wrong choice.
I wrestle with many things in life just like everyone else but I am trying to get better as time goes on. I may end up condemned for taking this grievance so seriously by public opinion...so be it. Going forward I sincerely hope you will modify your behaviors and be the leaders some members of this community believe you to be. I can't change what a person does but taking this maliciousness to a PM amongst yourselves is an easy click away.
User Tag List
Thread: The Demise of Zergling
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08-24-2008, 10:30 AM #41"At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**
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08-24-2008, 10:38 AM #42
Good post.
But just so you know, the PM was edited. I compared it this morning and Zergling decided to leave his comments out, naturally. I think if you look at it, then you can see where it was manipulated. So the idea was not to show how others were and he was not . . . rather, it was an attempt at revenge because he wanted the forum to be moderated according to his vision - which I completely understood, yet disagreed with.
Either way, you're right, and thanks for the post."The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
Haight
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08-24-2008, 10:51 AM #43
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08-24-2008, 10:55 AM #44
wow i really hate drama. I still really don't know what to think about all this.
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08-24-2008, 10:57 AM #45
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08-24-2008, 11:00 AM #46
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- MBTI
- INTJ
- Posts
- 2,127
You were the most reasonable of the lot, it's true, but then you also talked about what I think someone else probably thought was private information between you two and not for the other moderators/admins.
I'm sure none of you in PMs have discussed my particular issues in a negative or critical way or made jokes among yourself at my expense, right?
I expect people to say negative things in a private setting at times about others -- because that's how people work.
You have to blow off stream, especially if you're frustrated by someone or just find their behavior odd or out of mainstream.
Just so everyone knows, file cabinet is a really great guy (I like him and consider him a friend), and you can believe him. You're the best admin team member, as far as I'm aware.
Most are manipulative and evil people.
True, I have seen this before, but only on general-discussion sites that are almost exclusively off-topic. I suppose this one meets that requirement at this point.I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%
Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.
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08-24-2008, 11:09 AM #47
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08-24-2008, 11:14 AM #48
I tend to think this sort of thing is to be expected.
People adopt roles, get into bad habits, and abuse power. Heck, some horny homo policeman or gov. official is probably rubbing one out to the naughty photos I send to prospective wiminz via the emails -- as we speak.
If Mr. Zergling's swansong is the creation of a little more discipline and less old-lady gossiping in the mod-box, then fair play to him.
Forgive, forget, grow up.http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
Ti Ne Fi Ni
-How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
-What are you talking about?
-Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
-Well, forget about him and get to bed.
-Yes, my dear.
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08-24-2008, 11:15 AM #49
Economica,
a/ The last paragraph.
b/ Yes. I plan on banning mods faster when they are upset.
Well, if you read the entire modbox, you'd see that this is very limited. However, you only have one piece of a very large puzzle. But the extremes are always used as examples . . . that's just the way people operate."The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
Haight
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08-24-2008, 11:20 AM #50
I guess I can say it now, but I've had a problem with Zergling's moderation style for a long time. It was part of the stress that made me get tired of posting here for a while (I just drifted away, however, didn't make a conscious decision to go because of it). I thought maybe I was just insensitive to what he was seeing, so I didn't say anything. Apparently he was worse than I thought.
I'm sorry to hear about him making your discussions public. I kind of think I should have mentioned how I felt about him to someone before this happened now, because it sounds like the fallout from this might have affected a lot of people.
So, I guess now the discussions will take place with less strict moderation. I'm glad of that.
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