Hellooo
I have an INFJ friend who I've known for 2 years now, but we just started to have more context and chances to get to know each other. We're in the same group, major.. etc so we have more in common now. A few weeks ago, I asked him to hang out since I hadn't seem him all summer (I was abroad), and it would've been a good time before classes really get started an all, and then he replied super enthusiastically "YEAH LET'S HANG OUT!!". First, I thought oh, ok.. wans't expecting that but cool! great!
We got lunch and checked out the nearby farmer's market. It was a really fun, chill time getting some fruits and trying out the local homemade goods. I especially love little markets like these in the area. We even stumbled across some aloe plants on sale so I bought one for him and one for me (they were literally like $3 each so why not, right?). I guess, in my mind, it was my way of showing that I wanted to become better friends. Maybe we could have fun comparing whose plant would grow faster or whatever, idk lol.
So overall I thought we had a great time catching up. But he does this thing where even though we spend time together or seem to have a good dynamic going on, he becomes kinda cold toward me randomly. Like going back and forth between responding without any enthusiasm or responding with a lot of it. Or being excited to see me when we run into each other but then the next day not even acknowledging me.
And then another day, my other friend (call her Jane) who is also in our major asked me to invite him over to review her resume/career fair pitch (career fair was the next day) since she wanted more input. So I was like, oh yeah sure I can ask. I messaged him like:
me: "hey what are you doing rn, do you have like 30 minutes?"
him: "haha umm im just in my apartment, what's up"
me: "can you come over real quick?"
him: "wait why"
me: "come over and you'll find out hahhahaha"
*i was afraid he wouldn't come if i told him my friend was asking for him, since they're not that close and he's not very good with strangers*
but he said "ok, comin over now". Next thing you know, we see someone knock on the window with a smile. So I open the door and as soon as he comes in, Jane and I were kinda giggling because we were so surprised he actually came (and plus, i was happy to see him). Anyway, when I told him the reason, he was kinda like are you serious lol and pretended to leave, but i asked him to stay and help my friend out. So, he did, and again surprisingly, he actually did his best to help her and gave her advice. I was pretty touched by that, because I could tell he was annoyed, but still stayed.. he left though right after she was done practicing her pitch with him.
So for the next 2 hours, Jane and I relentlessly sent him "sorry" memes and emojis and pleas for forgiveness.. I knew he was salty, but I couldn't tell if he was genuinely disappointed. But why I felt bad and kinda confused is because when I asked him why he thought this was a serious matter despite all the "hahas" in my message, he hesitated/stopped himself midway like: "I don't know, I thought -- nevermind, no its fine." I kept pestering him like "wait, no finish the sentence, what do you mean? what did you think?" but he refused to answer or like shrugged it off.
Idk. There's also this underlying thought that I might be more interested in him than I thought. Even though it's been 2 years being friends, it's only now that I'm noticing him more often. Am I overanalyzing his actions? INFJ,s-- is there some insight you can give me about his thought process, or like what he might be thinking about our friendship, whether he wants to invest in it as much as I do, or if he has other feelings?
help out this enfp pls
I have an INFJ friend who I've known for 2 years now, but we just started to have more context and chances to get to know each other. We're in the same group, major.. etc so we have more in common now. A few weeks ago, I asked him to hang out since I hadn't seem him all summer (I was abroad), and it would've been a good time before classes really get started an all, and then he replied super enthusiastically "YEAH LET'S HANG OUT!!". First, I thought oh, ok.. wans't expecting that but cool! great!
We got lunch and checked out the nearby farmer's market. It was a really fun, chill time getting some fruits and trying out the local homemade goods. I especially love little markets like these in the area. We even stumbled across some aloe plants on sale so I bought one for him and one for me (they were literally like $3 each so why not, right?). I guess, in my mind, it was my way of showing that I wanted to become better friends. Maybe we could have fun comparing whose plant would grow faster or whatever, idk lol.
So overall I thought we had a great time catching up. But he does this thing where even though we spend time together or seem to have a good dynamic going on, he becomes kinda cold toward me randomly. Like going back and forth between responding without any enthusiasm or responding with a lot of it. Or being excited to see me when we run into each other but then the next day not even acknowledging me.
And then another day, my other friend (call her Jane) who is also in our major asked me to invite him over to review her resume/career fair pitch (career fair was the next day) since she wanted more input. So I was like, oh yeah sure I can ask. I messaged him like:
me: "hey what are you doing rn, do you have like 30 minutes?"
him: "haha umm im just in my apartment, what's up"
me: "can you come over real quick?"
him: "wait why"
me: "come over and you'll find out hahhahaha"
*i was afraid he wouldn't come if i told him my friend was asking for him, since they're not that close and he's not very good with strangers*
but he said "ok, comin over now". Next thing you know, we see someone knock on the window with a smile. So I open the door and as soon as he comes in, Jane and I were kinda giggling because we were so surprised he actually came (and plus, i was happy to see him). Anyway, when I told him the reason, he was kinda like are you serious lol and pretended to leave, but i asked him to stay and help my friend out. So, he did, and again surprisingly, he actually did his best to help her and gave her advice. I was pretty touched by that, because I could tell he was annoyed, but still stayed.. he left though right after she was done practicing her pitch with him.
So for the next 2 hours, Jane and I relentlessly sent him "sorry" memes and emojis and pleas for forgiveness.. I knew he was salty, but I couldn't tell if he was genuinely disappointed. But why I felt bad and kinda confused is because when I asked him why he thought this was a serious matter despite all the "hahas" in my message, he hesitated/stopped himself midway like: "I don't know, I thought -- nevermind, no its fine." I kept pestering him like "wait, no finish the sentence, what do you mean? what did you think?" but he refused to answer or like shrugged it off.
Idk. There's also this underlying thought that I might be more interested in him than I thought. Even though it's been 2 years being friends, it's only now that I'm noticing him more often. Am I overanalyzing his actions? INFJ,s-- is there some insight you can give me about his thought process, or like what he might be thinking about our friendship, whether he wants to invest in it as much as I do, or if he has other feelings?
help out this enfp pls
