[Other/Multiple Temperaments] Torn between Jung: ENFP and ENTP(maturing) for career.

[PerfectlyConfused]

Ti 75%
Fi 90%

I enjoy science, but the details and slow learning structure in Uni bore the pants off me. I'd love to work with AI or get really into Astrophysics and make a contribution, but the process of getting there, just doesn't seem worth it(and painful).
I'm more into Sci-fiction, than hard text book science.

back when I was detatched from my own feelings and of others,
and unhealthy (like many unhealthy INTPs or immature ENTPs i've seen of late), my theories and world solving problem plans that I shared resulting in my being called Sociopathic.
i still wanted to be an actor in this period of my life (but part of it was for getting money for world domination).

I tested on MBTI: INTJ a few times then INTP a few times over a few years, during that time I was a troll (but not the bullying over the top type who I now decimate when I see them attacking someone who clearly can't defend themselves).
I also solved problems for people (unsolicted advice) frequently and got it in the chops a lot of the time.
"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" (clearly I know you better than you, duh, lol, I know I know)

Since my intense relationship with an INFJ, my F has developed, and i'm able to be closer to others, including myself, but this leads me to further confusion over the above. (part of my ENTPness was rebelling against formal education and everything in general, but if i'm honest with myself, I know the structure would be good for me)

I've pretty much ignored my creative side development as well. (used to draw/write/make music goofing around)

My focus has purely been on what "should do" and personal growth.

I don't know where to go with this.
Any advice or any one who's been stuck in this situation before?

 

[PerfectlyConfused]

My Holland Code (RIASEC) is IAE. with Artistic only being behind by 1/10th of Investigative.
So further testing doesn't help me.

I know I could be good at creative things, I know I could make a change in the World academically.
I know if I pick something creative, i'll feel like i'm wasting my brains, if I pick something "intellectual" i'll end up wanting to blow my brains out with a deagle or a sawn off shotgun.

I don't fit in with the nerdy community, I don't fit in with the creative rebel types. Too much confliction either way.
I'm just spinning and spinning in my chair, and i've got to stop and head in one direction or another. The pull of both is incapacitating.

Starving artist vs starving for stimulating in formal situation.

I'm pretty good at finding answers and solutions, but my own stuff, like everyone else on the planet, not to good at it.

 

[PerfectlyConfused]

Screw it, i'll just work in theatre.

 

[great_bay]

So how are you an 8w7?

 

[PerfectlyConfused]

So how are you an 8w7?

Severe Emotional abuse through childhood resulting in CPTSD
= fear of being controlled etc

+
Being around Strong aggressive males in mid to late teens

That's how ;P


Cut off the rest of the post, was a bit too global for most people to follow.
The lessons I have learned since my last post however are numerous, but trying to fit myself into one or another was the wrong thing to do. I needed to stop searching and just spend time with MYSELF. < Actually on my phone right now because I made the decision not to renew my Internet sub.

Ive gone with Art, Music and Programming, however I'm learning in a way that is P friendly xD Also studying Russian.

Everyone should stop acting their part, even MBTI type, and just spend some time with themselves.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I relate to what you are going through. I also experienced severe emotional trauma as a youth. I always tested ISTP, but that was never true. Instead I was just a INFJ whose ego repressed Fe. Everyone else could see my Fe, but me.

Having repressed my Fe for 30 years or so, my Fi developed significantly.

You need to try and find the real you.

For me, a friend well versed in typology help guide me.

First she helped me realize I was not a ISTP, but a NF. I didn't like that, I had sold myself that I was rational thinker, as that was what I tried to make myself.

Then she helped me realize I was a J, not a P.

Functionally, I have strong use of both Ni and Ne and Fe and Fi, but I am NiFe first and foremost. I am a INFJ, always was, down deep.