Learned Fe

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

For me it's really getting to know the other person, learning about their needs/behaviors, and adjusting my style if necessary to accommodate their needs. I don't view it as being 'fake' at all, as I'm still fully myself; this is who I am. And those I have deeper connections with will in turn see more sides of me. If I sense that they're uncomfortable and need reassurance on something that they're saying -- like if I sense they lack confidence or are hesitant to speak their mind, then I will be sure to smile and give them a verbal pat on the back, and be more encouraging in my mannerisms and responses, so that they feel safe to be open with me. But I never push people towards doing anything or saying anything -- if I sense reticence, I don't push for anything. I want people to be fully themselves and I don't want to influence them otherwise. And perhaps the Fe is more of a 'tool' that I use to connect with others because I want to create a 'safe' environment where they can be authentic and REAL. Actually as I'm typing all of this out, I think it boils down to simply validating their feelings and experiences, whatever they are, and trying to understand them.

This might be just me...so I tend to hesitate about posting stuff like this because I don't really want to speak for everyone out there who might experience completely different things when it comes to Fe.

love this post! i am new to mbti and the concept of Fe, but after reading this post, i thought of an example tonight of how i used my Fe when out with friends:

the 5 of us were at the bar, drinking green beer and guinness and i hadn't seen this particular girlfriend for a long time. the rest of the group consisted of guys. as soon as i saw her and asked how she was, she rolled her eyes and said meaningfully, "i'm okay now, but i really need a beer." well, there were like 2 conversations going on animatedly, and we all got caught up in the rhythm and flow of give and take, but there was that ?nagging? feeling in my mind, pushed back a bit, that i really wanted to f/u on my friend's remark, to make sure she was okay, and didn't intend something deeper by her response to me. i know without a doubt most people would not obsess over her offhand remark, and would take it at face value as it is usually intended......but since i was only able to be out for about an hour, it was a pressing priority that i find out soon if my friend was indeed 'okay.'

i finally put my hand and her leg and asked her pointedly, "is everything okay, or is something up with you?" well, of course nothing was really wrong, but i had just needed to make sure!

i guess that's Fe. ? i agree the cascademn post that i wait and don't assert my opinion if someone else is more opinionated than i am, or i'm not sure. i just don't need to. it's not a priority to me usually. sometimes i will feel passionately about something and i will speak heatedly about it. but now that i think about it, that's usually with people i know fairly well, although not always. i definitely care more about others' feelings than asserting my own.

i am not a faker in any way. i abhor faking as i HATE to waste time. i like deep conversations and try to avoid chit chat at all costs. i'd rather not talk than have small talk, but i know a small amount of it is necessary in our society.