MBTI obsession: Can you type me, please? (long analysis)

[ItsMartinaDotCom97]

Hi everyone! I hope you all have a good day. I'm a girl pretty (much) obsessed with MBTI and understanding myself, yet I struggle (since years) to type my personality and when I think I have reached a conclusion, I start to question everything once again. I hope you can help me to sort out the mess in my mind! I'd like veeery grateful if you can help me understand myself better.. only a thing before I start my long analysis, I'm not loud as it may appear in my writing. Indeed, I'm pretty sure I'm an introvert, even if an unusual one. I'm sure I'm an INTUITIVE over the SENSOR. The types I'm stuck between are INFP, INTP, INFJ and ENFP. Let's start (I took some questions from the site FunkyMBTI, jfi)!



What behaviors manifest under stress?

Well, when I’m stressed my behaviour manifest these ways:

· I become very unproductive and disorganized. Also I can be unable to cope with everyday life, feeling overwhelmed by people and rules of society. It’s like I forget some important informations I must remember to allow my independence. On the other way, I get too codependent to my parents to face my responsabilities because I feel i can’t face up to them. It isn’t only a matter of feeling unready for life (see enneagram 5, even if I’m a 4w3), but also much laziness and loss of motivation. Often I feel like people and life move at too much speed and I can’t compare to it. I must reflect and sort out my feelings before making any decisions. Also, sometimes i feel like like I can’t figure out the big picture, and this makes me inhibited because I don’t know where to start to sort out the mess in my mind;

· I become the biggest of procrastinators, and indulge in activities like watching TV, reading magazines, obsessing over aesthetic and activities who can improve my appearance (like workouts, proper diet, makeup...), daydreaming, making accurate lists who rarely follow, surfing the Net. When I'm stressed out I worry too much about how things will effect me and excessively worry about the consequences of my actions will have on my body. I think many of them are a defense strategies to cope with life, like the issue about aesthetic;

· I withdrawn from people too much, because I can’t stay with them for too long and I fear I can’t meet their expectations. I often fluctuate between wanting to feel different and better than other people by the standards who I idealize (like intelligence, beauty, humour, artistic sense etc.) and feeling not enough to deserve a long-term relation with people because I fear of being average and mundane. (typical fear of enneatype 4);

· I retire in a idealized world based on both objective and social criterias (see modern beauty standards for example) and subjective (I always find a personal way to see life and some of my interests are pretty unusual). I can also become kind of superficial and judge people by their appearance. I can feel poor empathy: I still can read people and their emotions very well (i’m very able to do this), but I can’t just FEELING them;

· I become totally self-absorbed and egomaniac, only interested in looking perfect and giving a good image of myself. If I don’t feel like doing something I can having outburst and brekouts, but only with people I trust. In these situation I can be a bit cynical and bitter and overanalyze my feelings and thinkings, striving to give them a logical explanation. I want to reach for the truth, but sometimes i don’t like it and switch to the subjective way to perceive the world (self-deceiving and self-aware at the same time);

· I tend to fluctuate between extremes: I can become self-indulgent over some things I don’t care about, like doing chores or following some rules, and over-compulsive about things who influence the way I perceive myself (like overtraining, eating well, studying till I know everything etc.). I can also find myself in pretty compromising and ambiguous situations, who are against my moral code. (why if it seems i'm A FEELER?)

· I obsess over doing the right thing who can led to success. I’m willing to sacrifice my quiet to make something I know it’s right, except if I am scared by that or I’m to stressed. For example I have exercise, but I do it regularly to make myself objectively attractive;

· I become oversensitive and I take everything personally;

· I keep writing lists to organize my life and my thinking. I really need to follow a schedule to feel in control towards the long-term goals, but rarely follow them if another person doesn’t push me to (am i a J or a P??);

· I become competitive and envy, but stay in the background because I’m scared to put the spotlight on me and getting involved.



2) What have others said about or admired in you and complained about?

People have complained my**:**

· SOCIALLY AVOIDANCE: I tend to withdrawn too much from people after the first get-to-know-you period. At first I’m influenced by curiosity such that it push me to frequent people, but soon I get tired once I’ve got their approval. My social life has always been very poor since puberty, indeed I hang out more or less once every 10 days and before leaving home I must prepared my emotions (some degrees of social phobia). This aspect makes me generally very emotionally independent, even if once a person captivate me completely, especially in a romantic affair (emotionally, mental and physical attraction) I start to idealize the relationship and lower my defences. In these situations I can be totally absorbed in my daydreaming and become emotionally codependent to the person, or better to the thinking of the person.

Many times people I know tell text me: it's been so much since I've heard from you , or, knowing my attitude: keep in touch now that we can’t meet so often like before. My initial intentions are to stay in touch, but as time went on I lose the motivation and retire in my own world.

AVOIDANT TENDENCES: I tend to avoid responsabilities and social pressure. I fear success, self-exposure, and possible humiliation but I'm also competitive and interested in making something of myself in the world.

· SELF-ABSORBTION AND (TOO MUCH) IDEALISM:. I pursue an ‘ideal’ soul mate and find it hard to settle down, feeling like there's some lacking within myself. I search for the ideal (partner, job, body., life) that will compensate for what the i feel i’m missing inside. I overuse imagination to fantasize about ideal situations (daydreamer).

· OVERSENSIBILITY AND VULNERABILITY: I’m too sensitive to criticism and quite romantic and passionate. I experience many intense feelings in a day and tend toward melancholy and melodrama. I think i must have one of the worst coping mechanisms ever.

· LOW SELF ESTEEM AND COVERT NARCISSISM/HISTRIONISM TENDENCES: I feel like I'm too conflicted internally because issues of low self-esteem and inferiority. I'm often dependent on others, craving attention, requiring tons of reassurance and affirmation from loved ones. I want recognition for my work but I can also struggle with issues of low self-esteem and inferiority.

· SELF-CRITICAL ATTITUDE: *I want to be both unique and the best at everything I do.*No matter my success, I always feel my work could have been done better. Let's say my desires for triumph can both play a part in my fantasy life and become a focal point for disappointments.

· OBSESSION WITH PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

· PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR: 4w3s must deal with a unique struggle between honouring their fierce individuality and meeting the expectations of others. Since people of this subtype have the ability to project a favorable image, they are able to conceal their real emotional condition more effectively than the other subtype: others may not realize how vulnerable or emotionally troubled they may be.

· BAD WAY TO COPE WITH SOCIAL NORMS: aware of but defy social norms, and don't know how to behave with autorities. It's not a matter of rebellion, but more like "i don't feel like doing this thing, i fear that I won't do it perfectly or that my self-perception will be compromised".

STRESS AND OBSESSIVE THINKING LOOPS

INTERNAL CONFLICT AND CONTRADICTIONS: I'm not very reliable, bacause I sometimes do the opposite of what I am told, cause of laziness, uncareness and so on. I'm a person who struggle deeply with identity - who I am are and who I want from others to see me as.



People usually admires my:

OPENNESS: I tend to questions everything, even my values. This isn’t as simple as it appears because I seem openminded and don’t judge people for their choices, I always try to reach the objective and correct way of living in my life, and often question myself “Why this is considered bad? What’s the ethics?. But, even if I’m accepting and open to all the new ideas, I tend to live my conventional life in a conventional way for fear to break down barriers.

UNIQUENESS: I would feel unworthy if I don't feel like I'm unique and have a distinctive personality/look (i pride myself on my uniqueness). I feel either better or worst than other people. I have a deep longing for social validation and if I don’t get the validation I seek, I may spiral into shame.

INTROSPECTION AND INSIGHTFULNESS: conceptual and highly astract mind who question everything to get the real truth. My tendence is to overanalyze my own feelings**. i can read people well, i get in deep in the discussions and analyze them**. I sense my own emotional irrationality. I am emotionally irrational and unstable, and I analyze that.

SENSITIVE ARTISTIC SOUL: I love the unconventional and refined, want to express the depths of my souls to others and be recognized for my contributions.

LOGICAL INTELLIGENCE AND CRITICAL THINKING (pretty high IQ, around 135)



Thinking / Feeling Axis Questions:

3) How strong is your personal understanding of your feelings? How often do your emotions guide you? It is easier to identify your own feelings over other people’s? Are you more concerned with self-opinion or external praise? How much does either one factor into your personal and professional decisions?

I’m always analyzing myself and rationalizing my feelings, considering the pros and the cons of an emotional choice, and trying to make sense of my feelings. The “sense” thing is very important in my life and led my every choice. My emotions aren’t too loud, even if when I was a child they were all about melancholy, a lot of imagination and too much sensitivity which I expressed in my art, in many forms. I always try to control myself when around people but have bad outbursts around my family (which I trust) when I’m stressed. I also feel unconfortable when I have to talk about my feeling in the right moment I’m feeling them (i feel shame and can't find the "right" words), but I’m able and predisposed to talk about feelings when I’ve already elaborated them (in my head or by writing, in a chronological way with the “right” expressive ability. I’m very observant of the form of the language and have a lot of artistic sensibility). It’s easier to identify my feelings over others’, but even the last thing isn’t to difficult to me as I think I have a good insightfulness. It’s only that I’m more projected and interested in understanding myself than others. This fact provides me intrapersonal intelligence, but is also often responsable of my artist block, because makes me stuck in my ways and I can’t consider the others’ point of views more than in a theorical way.



As I have written too much, I'll stop myself here. I hope it's enough to understand the functional stack *hoping*... thanks in advance!! ;-)

 

[Pionart]

I keep writing lists to organize my life and my thinking. I really need to follow a schedule to feel in control towards the long-term goals, but rarely follow them if another person doesn’t push me to (am i a J or a P??)

An NFP is more likely to stick to a schedule than an NFJ is from what I understand.


From what you've written, I would conclude that you're an NFP, but distinguishing introversion/extroversion is difficult from that sort of post.