It's better to be a female INTJ than a male one.

[Luminous]

Yes. Women, sex, and relationships cannot make up for deficiencies in the rest of your life. Address those, and relationships will follow naturally.

In regards to the last sentence, unfortunately I don't think it's that simple for everyone.

 

[Cellmold]

Male extroverts especially pick up artists are confident and successful with girls or relationships. Introverts are shy as Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries define them as "A shy, reticent person." and "someone who is shy, quiet, and unable to make friends easily". Being a male and INTJ you just can't get girls because you're not socially confident. Girls don't have this problem. As normally girls get hit on by guys and the guy approaches her.

introvert | Definition of introvert in English by Oxford Dictionaries

introvert Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary

I think you are fixated on a settled version of reality.

I'm hardly particularly introverted, nor am I tied to a type in MBTI, but my successes in such areas are not the best. Look at yourself; what are you excusing?

If you want sympathy, you have it; life is tough, relationships (romantic or not) are painful.

However....even if this premise is true...then..where next? Are you going to become female? Are you going to change the nature (whatever that might turn out to be) of male/female? What can you do about it?

These questions are both rhetorical and not. Because I understand where I stand in relation to this angle, but you need to find your own stand. Intuitively (non-typologically) I do not think your perspective is useful, especially for yourself.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Is this a dupe thread, an obsession with PUA or what?



Uh, no. Girls hit on guys, too. Girls stalk guys. They even walk into the men's room in restaurants. So don't give me this "guys hit on women" shit as if it's a one-way street.

A girl followed me into the bathroom once. It was scary

 

[Coriolis]

In regards to the last sentence, unfortunately I don't think it's that simple for everyone.

That is because people make it needlessly complicated.

 

[Obfuscate]

That is because people make it needlessly complicated.

it only takes one person to do that... it is conceivable that a person who was perfectly "healthy" could be inundated by those who are not... somewhat more plausible if a person has limited interactions outside of their routine...

 

[Coriolis]

it only takes one person to do that... it is conceivable that a person who was perfectly "healthy" could be inundated by those who are not... somewhat more plausible if a person has limited interactions outside of their routine...

That would be a terrible routine, to be inundated by those who are overcomplicating the quest for relationships. Seems to me they would be easily dispatched just by saying "no".

 

[Obfuscate]

That would be a terrible routine, to be inundated by those who are overcomplicating the quest for relationships. Seems to me they would be easily dispatched just by saying "no".

i mean in the sense of what type of people were available... lets say someone went to work, went home, only really went out when a handful of friends gathered, they always shop at the same stores, etc, etc... the longer a person like that remained insulated/isolated from others, the more hopeless the prospect might seem... another scenario could be someone that lived in a town with a population of a couple hundred people... anyhow, there are ways in which a person could come to feel that everyone was shallow, manipulative, cruel, or some other equally distasteful thing... a person's world view is often formed by what is immeadiately around them...

anyhow, i do think all meaningful change begins within, but it sometimes takes additional steps to find someone worth investing energy/interest in...

 

[Coriolis]

i mean in the sense of what type of people were available... lets say someone went to work, went home, only really went out when a handful of friends gathered, they always shop at the same stores, etc, etc... the longer a person like that remained insulated/isolated from others, the more hopeless the prospect might seem... another scenario could be someone that lived in a town with a population of a couple hundred people... anyhow, there are ways in which a person could come to feel that everyone was shallow, manipulative, cruel, or some other equally distasteful thing... a person's world view is often formed by what is immeadiately around them...

anyhow, i do think all meaningful change begins within, but it sometimes takes additional steps to find someone worth investing energy/interest in...

Someone living such an insular life is missing out on more than relationships.

 

[Cellmold]

Someone living such an insular life is missing out on more than relationships.

Yeah, like job opportunities and financial gains in order to move somewhere else with a larger population.

Sometimes it is the conditions.

 

[Edgar]

Avoid all the silly, manipulative tricks of PUA. They won't help you gain comfortable social confidence. All you need is learn how to talk to women, as if they're individuals, not things to be acquired.

A few years ago, to shake up my life and to test the angsting of males in cyberspace about how hard it was to approach, I tried it one night with a couple of friends. The first approach made me so nervous (notice how it was my problem, not theirs?) but after that, it was a cake walk. I ended up with a lot of phone numbers that night without playing any games, telling them upfront what I was doing. One guy was so amused by it all, he made all his friends give me their numbers too.

So don't be afraid people. It's only yourself preventing yourself.

Most men would fuck a walrus and then brag about. How are you comparing your experience to that of a man approaching women? I mean good for you for taking the initiative but you're delusional to think it's even in the same ballpark.

 

[rav3n]

Most men would fuck a walrus and then brag about.

Speak for yourself.

How are you comparing your experience to that of a man approaching women? I mean good for you for taking the initiative but you're delusional to think it's even in the same ballpark.

Of course it wouldn't be, because men have it much harder in life than women.

But this is classic. If a woman does it, it's minimalized or denigrated and if a man does it, it's heroic.

 

[Luminous]

Most men would fuck a walrus and then brag about. How are you comparing your experience to that of a man approaching women? I mean good for you for taking the initiative but you're delusional to think it's even in the same ballpark.

Speak for yourself.

Of course it wouldn't be, because men have it much harder in life than women.

But this is classic. If a woman does it, it's minimalized or denigrated and if a man does it, it's heroic.

While I disagree with how easy bechimo makes it sound in the post you were responding to, Edgar...

You're delusional if you think it's always easy for women to find someone they want to be with, and then - what? They're supposed to sit back or play games to ensure they get pursued? Or they have to risk rejection just like men do when pursuing women.

 

[rav3n]

While I disagree with how easy bechimo makes it sound in the post you were responding to, Edgar...

You're delusional if you think it's always easy for women to find someone they want to be with, and then - what? They're supposed to sit back or play games to ensure they get pursued? Or they have to risk rejection just like men do when pursuing women.

But it is easy if you solely target guys that are portraying the body language and facial expressions that evidence attraction. When you do that, rejection rates are 0.

Didn't think I needed to expand on that aspect since this site includes all types. But I would have done so, for sites with a high volume of autists.

 

[Sacrophagus]

But it is easy if you solely target guys that are portraying the body language and facial expressions that evidence attraction. When you do that, rejection rates are 0.

Nah. Having a large buffet with every dish that looks appetizing doesn't mean we will ingest everything. The eating is either done by preselection, or, at that moment, we have already decided what we're going for. Unless it's cheat day, we might succumb for that takeaway, but we will probably eat it cold.

The bottom line is, even if there are chances of rejection, she should not be afraid of it. There's an abundance of men and women out there.

 

[rav3n]

Nah. Having a large buffet with every dish that looks appetizing doesn't mean we will ingest everything. The eating is either done by preselection, or, at that moment, we have already decided what we're going for. Unless it's cheat day, we might succumb for that takeaway, but we will probably eat it cold.

The bottom line is, even if there are chances of rejection, she should not be afraid of it. There's an abundance of men and women out there.

Why would you advise that people harass others who aren't interested? That's not logical and likely why people experience high rejection rates.

 

[The Cat]

Avoid all the silly, manipulative tricks of PUA. They won't help you gain comfortable social confidence. All you need is learn how to talk to women, as if they're individuals, not things to be acquired.

A few years ago, to shake up my life and to test the angsting of males in cyberspace about how hard it was to approach, I tried it one night with a couple of friends. The first approach made me so nervous (notice how it was my problem, not theirs?) but after that, it was a cake walk. I ended up with a lot of phone numbers that night without playing any games, telling them upfront what I was doing. One guy was so amused by it all, he made all his friends give me their numbers too.

So don't be afraid people. It's only yourself preventing yourself.

 

[Sacrophagus]

Why would you advise that people harass others who aren't interested? That's not logical and likely why people experience high rejection rates.

*sigh*


Let us recapitulate.

You said that she should opt for people who display signs of attraction. Fair enough. You asserted that there will be no chance of rejection, and that is utterly false.

I told you that even people who display signs of attraction, who seem to fancy you, or to even lust for you, might reject you for their own reasons, as demonstrated by my metaphor.


In your own reasoning you think there's no rejection. Meaning, you're actually the one unknowingly convincing her that she will not get rejected, and I'm telling you, there might. So it is better to prepare her for that, even if the subject seems fairly interested.


On the other hand, approaching other individuals who display zero signs of attraction is a feat done by those with confidence, willing to take risks, good sports, are not afraid of rejection, and have that carpe diem "fuck it" attitude. That's, however, something we will not talk about since not everyone has an iron stomach.

 

[rav3n]

*sigh*


Let us recapitulate.

You said that she should opt for people who display signs of attraction. Fair enough. You asserted that there will be no chance of rejection, and that is utterly false.

I told you that even people who display signs of attraction, who seem to fancy you, or to even lust for you, might reject you for their own reasons, as demonstrated by my metaphor.


In your own reasoning you think there's no rejection. Meaning, you're actually the one unknowingly convincing her that she will not get rejected, and I'm telling you, there might. So it is better to prepare her for that, even if the subject seems fairly interested.

Fair enough, albeit it wasn't my experience.

On the other hand, approaching other individuals who display zero signs of attraction is a feat done by those with confidence, willing to take risks, good sports, are not afraid of rejection, and have that carpe diem "fuck it" attitude. That's, however, something we will not talk about since not everyone has an iron stomach.

Since I dislike being hassled like that myself where a lot of women feel the same way, it would be logical to apply that in reverse.

 

[misfortuneteller]

Really? I thought that ENFP women tend to be really into the concept of the INTJ male? Perhaps you should try looking for them instead of focusing on the xSFx female majority?

 

[Sacrophagus]

Since I dislike being hassled like that myself where a lot of women feel the same way, it would be logical to apply that in reverse.

Let us not use logic in numbers alone, for if it was of any aid, it would've had unsealed all the secrets of human psyche, which is not the case.

The wisdom of yore.

We are biased creatures. We shouldn't portray ourselves as if we're going to display the same sort of love for all those we love. With different people, we have different kinds of relationships. We tend to warm up to some quickly, while others might invoke aversion in us on a subconscious level without even having the time to think about the reaction. Women do not like to be harassed, -no one like to be harassed for that matter- but if the right person approached men or women the right way, depending on the situation, there might be a yes, just like there might be a no.

The rate of rejection always stands, as does the rate of success.

In your mind, entertaining an endeavor where there's a rate of failure is something not worth entertaining. You would likely weigh the pros and cons of every situation and take it from there. For others, fierce as they are, they will take all their chances in style.

I picked up women I don't even remember the name while they're shouting "This is crazy, I never did something like this" inside the car...etc...etc.

Someone might seem "uninterested" from afar, but once you approach them they might let their guard down and become flirty...etc...etc.


Calculations alone should not be the sole asset.