Can someone help type me by having me answer questions? Am I an INFJ or ISFJ?

[Wanonymous]

I'm mostly not sure whether I prefer Ni or Si, but know I use Fe and Ti and that I'm an introverted judger.

 

[LucieCat]

Si will tend to focus more on certainty, what can we know for sure. To do this, it looks at connections between the past and present. It can also manifest as a certain sentimentality, Si loves customs and traditions and making them.

Ni is a lot more abstract (to the extent that even describing it is kind of hard). They are more likely to think about human nature in a broad conceptual manner to gather information. A lot of Ni users are very insightful about the potential future implications of events although they migh hide this as it can seem very out there and almost spooky. While Si can also make observations about future implications, it does so on known precedent. Ni relates a lot to symbolism.

You can also look at this in terms of a possible inferior function. ISFJ will have Ne (observing current, often unrelated events to determine the deeper meaning of what is behind the curtain persay. What's really going on? People with Ne as a strength are ideas driven and tend to love speaking out new ideas and novelty even if it's not implemented) as their blind spot and INFJ has the inferior function of Se (gathering information by being present in the moment and using your senses to observe what is there; there's also an adventurous quality to Se, but it tends to be more focused on actually acting out the new ideas than just thinking about them, which is what leads us Ne-doms and auxiliaries to not complete things).

There's probably better ways to define the functions though.

 

[Kiko]

I am interested in this thread as a newbie, because I too am uncertain of whether or not I'm ISFJ or INFJ. Maybe we can help each other out!

I have finally completely ruled out having Fi, and I am pretty sure I am an introvert. I am also always holding in my feelings throughout the day at work, only to call a trusted loved one later to vent about things that irritate me, so that would make Ti pretty low on my stack. (It's funny when I think about the "work" Kiko versus the private Kiko and how shocked a co-worker would be if they could be a fly on the wall at my house, listening to me pick them apart. Now that I think about it, I keep my irritation to myself and vent privately later, whereas the ISFJs will confront you right then and there -- AND also vent about you later!) As for Si, I am pretty obsessive about a lot of things, and I have odd superstitions that only I have created for myself to follow. I wouldn't dare share them with anyone else, maybe not even a therapist, because I know they sound crazy. Speaking of therapy, I was in psychodynamic therapy for many years after really not getting anywhere with CBT-type therapy, which I loathe. I think, what good is therapy if it only tells you "do this" or "think that" when you are in front of a therapist because of habitually faulty thinking/behavior to begin with. It's a "pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps" that makes no sense to me. (However, I know it does work for some, and I'm glad it does, so I'm not saying CBT is ineffective overall. Just saying it was ineffective for me.) I wanted to know why I do certain things and think the way I do. Psychodynamic therapy was such a blessing for me. But still ... here I am years later wondering if I need more therapy. It's like I am constantly walking around with this vague sense of doom and fogginess. Like I just don't know myself well enough -- and that's where the biggest suspicion of being INFJ comes in. When I'm free to kick back and relax, I read, write, or think about how to better know myself. That's my idea of fun. It's like this quest I'm on all the time, even when I'm not consciously thinking about it. And it's a good thing I don't dwell on it too much, because I think it would drive me nuts, but anyway ... We all took the MBTI at my office. My score was INTP (ha! yeah, right.) But anyway, the ISFJs that I've known or read about just seem to know themselves in such a way that I can't even fathom. I'm almost envious of them for it. I had wondered if I was just a younger ISFJ who hadn't come into her own yet; but I went on to bump into other ISFJs younger than me -- and even they know themselves better than I know myself, it seems!

Here's the funniest part of all: I am not comfortable around the ISFJs or the INFJs in my office -- I'd rather deal with the _STJs or the ISTP. (The INTP made me reeeeeally uncomfortable, but he's gone now.) Maybe most people overall feel that way, because _STJs/ISTPs are less likely to be cranky or prickly like the I_FJ types (me included. I try really hard not to show it though.) But I guess if I had to pick, I'd rather deal with the INFJs, because I know they are less likely to say something that would hurt my feelings or irritate me. And I should make it clear -- I'd rather you try to completely fool me into thinking you like me, than to show me that you don't (like me.) I can *usually* tell if you like me anyway, so it doesn't matter. Sometimes people fool me though! Or rather, I let them fool me. I can't tell you how many times my first impressions of people were/are dead-on, but I feel a social obligation to suspend my judgment of them, only to kick myself later on when a person proves he/she is what I feared. I work for a lot of EN-P types who think everyone is great and every idea is brilliant so there is an extra layer of pressure to give people the benefit of the doubt. As well, my superiors never seem to take my advice when it comes to hiring decisions. We all get to fill out supposedly anonymous surveys if we've been a part of a recruitment process. They NEVER listen to me. But anyway ... My real goal is to have a harmonious environment with my peers -- and my personal relationships too, but with my nearest and dearest, I am more apt to speak up if something is bothering me. In fact, if they hold back from me about something I've done that has bothered them, I will feel insulted, because to me that communicates that I'm just not worth the effort to work through it. This is something that comes up from time to time between me and my ENFP husband. I've come to realize that he is not really disrespecting me, but rather, he just sorts through his feelings in his head most of the time; and only if something really upsets him will he finally confront me about it. Even though it's uncomfortable for me to deal with his anger or disappointment, I'm almost euphoric that he finally came clean with me. I can't stand having the air thick with vague resentment -- and I almost always seem to know when something is on his mind. Sometimes he tells me, sometimes he doesn't. He just isn't "out with it" like I am. But even I will stumble over my words a lot when I try to explain what's heavy on my heart and why. I can think of the words just fine in my head when I'm by myself, but when I go to spit them out, they are just a disjointed, rambling mess! Writing helps, but even that isn't helpful at times, because it all comes to me so spontaneously, so mysteriously, that even if I run to my computer right away to type them out, they still sort of evaporate in a diaphanous mist of sorts sometimes.

But -- I do get flashes of insight that help me solve personal problems or decisions. How it works is that I'll find myself ruminating and obsessing on a conundrum ... and then I'll tell myself (maybe not even in words) "just relax. The answer will come." And it does. And I trust these insights entirely, as they bring such a relief and awe to me. In fact, when I'm NOT currently simmering on a minor problem or decision (i.e., when everything is going along as normal), I walk around with a vague sense of impending doom. (Really devastating problems, however, are another story. They totally suck and overwhelm me -- but maybe that has nothing to do with type, but rather, has to do with mental disorder, anxiety, etc. I do have PTSD, by the way. ... Or maybe they overwhelm everyone, regardless of type!) However, these insights don't happen often, so that's what leads me to wonder if I really have dominant Ni -- but then again I've read that Ni -- even for IN_J types -- is largely unconscious, so it might not be the kind of function that is obvious to the "owner." As well, I'm pretty relaxed and disorganized about a lot of things, so maybe that's why -- maybe only the big things, like illness, poverty, etc., are things that really worry me, so I don't find the need to get too upset about a lot of the little minor annoyances for very long. I always think to myself, "you have so much to be grateful for, so chill and say thanks to God above." And as for social ills, I majored in sociology. I actually got depressed studying the material and learning about social stratification, etc. So much so that I had to consciously distance myself from it and decide to not think about it. Sometimes I seem cold, even to myself, and I wonder why I'm not more demonstratively warmer to the people I love and the causes I care about. Is it inertia? Burn-out? Acceptance that some things will never change? Cynicism? I don't know.

One more thing that leads me to believe I'm INFJ instead of ISFJ: I have been a professional writer before (not big-time, mind you), and when I go back and read some of my stuff, I want to slap myself. (I'll probably come back and read this with the same impulse.) It sounds so pretentious, self-absorbed, and even condescending. I really don't like that side of myself, and I've read that pretentiousness and condescension can be features of the INFJ personality. As well, while I like to feel close to my loved ones and share mutual understanding, I don't like getting too close. I can think of maybe only a few times that someone has tried getting too close -- I either pulled away a bit or ghosted them entirely. Some people were just needy. A couple others were, I'm sure, total psychopaths trying to hurt me or exploit me for some sick reason. So sometimes this reluctance to dive too deep with people is a good, protective thing. I just can't get my mind too enmeshed with someone else's.

I know that such a long post (as this one) is pretty self-absorbed, too! My apologies and thanks if you made it this far. (P.S. The ISFP in my office is a complete alien to me. I don't get her at all and at times find her to be a complete snot. The younger INFJ is amusing to me, because she walks around with this phony Mona Lisa grin on her face. Reminds me of when I was in high school. I don't walk around like that anymore. Too old to care quite that much about not offending others -- but I still do care quite a lot. I also think my mom is an ISFJ, and because she was quite overbearing and even pathological at times, I think this is why I wonder if I'm ISFJ -- I had no choice but to be! Her idea of discipline was a "do or die" style, and she was really intrusive. It actually got so bad that I ghosted her for years. We are reunited now, she has mellowed a lot, and I am really happy she forgave me. I've mellowed a lot too.)