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[MBTI General] What sorts of communication or phrasing offend you, as a consequence of your type?

AI_INTJ

New member
Joined
May 25, 2018
Messages
28
People who say they "seen" something. Anyone who calls me "Babe." Fake fact sharers (aka know-it-alls). Heavy conspiracy theorists that won't shut up about it.
 

Snow as White

ƃuıǝǝs | seeing
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
anytime someone says they are giving me a choice and then make it obvious that there really isn't a choice... like everyone is supposed to go to the make believe land wherein we all pretend to have free will but do whatever it is that is wanted instead.

ie. my dad will couch these things like, do you want to go see your grandmother with me tomorrow?
me: *hating how she's lost her mind and isn't her anymore and the weight of death* no thank you.
dad: i think it's pretty poor that you can't take a few hours of your time to see her before she dies.
me: you asked if I wanted to go and I said no?
dad: you're coming tomorrow.

i also despise being corrected in the middle of a discussion for something extremely minor like idk, we are discussing climate change and i say the amazon has 20" less of rain and the person has to say, ACTUALLY it's 18". like, the fuck does that matter? the point is still there!
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ie. my dad will couch these things like, do you want to go see your grandmother with me tomorrow?
me: *hating how she's lost her mind and isn't her anymore and the weight of death* no thank you.
dad: i think it's pretty poor that you can't take a few hours of your time to see her before she dies.
me: you asked if I wanted to go and I said no?
dad: you're coming tomorrow.
I would respond to something like that with: "No, I don't want to go, but I understand it is important to you so I will go."

Or, if I wasn't prepared to go at all, I would simply call him on the guilt trip and stick to my guns. If your grandma's health condition prevents her from recognizing people, then going to see her is really more for your Dad anyway. That's OK, but should be acknowledged rather than using Grandma as an excuse.
 

Merced

Talk to me.
Joined
May 14, 2016
Messages
3,599
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
28?
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
anytime someone says they are giving me a choice and then make it obvious that there really isn't a choice... like everyone is supposed to go to the make believe land wherein we all pretend to have free will but do whatever it is that is wanted instead.

ie. my dad will couch these things like, do you want to go see your grandmother with me tomorrow?
me: *hating how she's lost her mind and isn't her anymore and the weight of death* no thank you.
dad: i think it's pretty poor that you can't take a few hours of your time to see her before she dies.
me: you asked if I wanted to go and I said no?
dad: you're coming tomorrow.

I despise this as well. My Dad does it all the time

Dad: Where do you want to eat?
Me: Red Robbins.
Dad: There's a Ruby Tuesday's nearby.
Me: No thank you.
Dad: What about TGI Fridays?
Me: No, I want to eat at Red Robbins.
Dad: Oh, I haven't had chinese in a while, want to get take out?
Me: No.
Dad: Well I'll decide since you can't make up your mind. *Proceeds to go through McDonald's drive thru*
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
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sx/sp
These are things that seem like INFJ hang-ups to me, based on the several years of communicating about it in this forum.

People getting really pushy. There is a kind of pushiness/oafishness of someone who rather clearly feels entitled to dictate shared reality in a self serving direction with shoddy rationalization that drives me up the wall.

For example, I know a guy who dated a woman that wasn't ready to have sex - and this guy would go on and on about how he wanted an "adult relationship," implying that not wanting sex in a relationship was immature. I think it's a manipulative and vile tendency.

Inconsistency. I don't always see it as duplicity, necessarily - conscious or unconscious - but it does chip away at the sympathy I feel for the person's experience. For "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" reasons. Or when people hypocritically dish out stuff they can't take themselves.

For example, I have a friend who called me once after a date because he had a panic attack while he was at her place and she practically shoved him out the door saying things like, "I really don't need a project right now, I get enough of this from family members, etc." He felt really disturbed by her reaction and called me to vent about it for nearly an hour. But the same guy has broken up with a girlfriend because she gained weight (and he was honest about it), and called me to vent about how he felt like he shouldn't feel bad about it. I didn't exactly know how to say it at the time (because I didn't even really immediately know what rubbed me wrong about it, let alone how to articulate why I thought it was hypocritical), but either we can strongly feel that others should modify how they present the truth to be careful of how it makes others feel should *or* we can strongly believe that others should have enough resilience to hear unfiltered opinions. Double standards like that make it difficult for me to empathize or even sympathize with the difficult experiences behind values that change according to what end the person is on.

Or there's stuff like telling me in a private conversation that they can't really stand someone, yet seeing them converse with the person in an animated way - that indicates duplicity to me. Not malevolent duplicity, but enough that I don't really trust what they have to say.
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Or there's stuff like telling me in a private conversation that they can't really stand someone, yet seeing them converse with the person in an animated way - that indicates duplicity to me. Not malevolent duplicity, but enough that I don't really trust what they have to say.

OH HAI GIRL! Totes agree, I hate two-faced people. :) :) :)
 
Joined
Jul 23, 2016
Messages
432
Enneagram
9w1
-People who use too many details, flowery words, and read like a fiction book in natural conversation (I skip most details naturally and as a result I'm *really* monotone and a terrible story teller, but on the otherhand I'm good at stating things in a very simple and truthful way)
-People who shame others constantly and nitpick for silly things ( I usually get pretty mad easily, I can't handle guilt or shame easily and try to go out of my way to avoid it)
-People who waste my time: I can tell immediately when someone wants something from me, so when they use their "persuasive" voice I become dismissive even though I'd agree otherwise. Not the same as people who plead for me to do something, that is still straightforward, I just mean being indirect.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
People getting really pushy. There is a kind of pushiness/oafishness of someone who rather clearly feels entitled to dictate shared reality in a self serving direction with shoddy rationalization that drives me up the wall.

For example, I know a guy who dated a woman that wasn't ready to have sex - and this guy would go on and on about how he wanted an "adult relationship," implying that not wanting sex in a relationship was immature. I think it's a manipulative and vile tendency.
This would be a deal breaker for me, especially in an intimate relationship. I would send this guy packing forthwith.

Or there's stuff like telling me in a private conversation that they can't really stand someone, yet seeing them converse with the person in an animated way - that indicates duplicity to me. Not malevolent duplicity, but enough that I don't really trust what they have to say.
I learned to hate this growing up, as it was one of the less attractive features of my mother's behavior.
 

Metis

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,534
People getting really pushy. There is a kind of pushiness/oafishness of someone who rather clearly feels entitled to dictate shared reality in a self serving direction with shoddy rationalization that drives me up the wall.

For example, I know a guy who dated a woman that wasn't ready to have sex - and this guy would go on and on about how he wanted an "adult relationship," implying that not wanting sex in a relationship was immature. I think it's a manipulative and vile tendency.

This would be a deal breaker for me, especially in an intimate relationship. I would send this guy packing forthwith.

Well stated.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
People who say they "seen" something.

If I hear "I seen", I want to....

giphy.gif
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
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5w4
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sx/sp
Bump?


The reason I started this thread is because I wanted to compare the answers to an old thread - to see which aspects of type (how people perceive certain type differences) are consistent and which were perhaps were people talking out of their ass in previous threads. Scientific method, consistency, and all that.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Boorish commanding and demanding types. Acting like a know it all dictator in a social situation gains you nothing but my contempt and unwillingness to respect you or take anything you say or do as meaningful. If it’s work related I have to follow a chain of command. If it’s someone trying to force everyone to do what they want in a social group dynamic they can go engage in anatomically impossible activities with themselves. This is why I spend huge amounts of time alone. My personal time is my agenda at my speed. People acting like tour guides rushing me through some covert time frame piss me off.

Also presenting your opinion as a fact and expecting others to except it as such.

Is it type related? INFPs are pretty free spirited I think. Some are more fierce when it comes to defending that than others but whether they resist aggressively or passively- they resist. If something feels wrong it’s pretty much instinct to rebel.
 

Zaitzev

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2017
Messages
4
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I barely feel offended nowadays. If I see or hear something stupid I'll just shrug and move on. Life is too short to get offended just because some people are stupid.
:)
 

Non_xsense

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2018
Messages
345
MBTI Type
Fool
I don't care , we are just stupid with limited mindframe trying to find some meaning behind life.
 

Sacrophagus

Mastermind Fieldmarshal
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
1,702
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
854
Sophistry and fallacies.

The aforementioned inaptness might work against all forms of communication and progress, but I don't see a point in being personally offended by it, however.
 

notmyapples

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Messages
398
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Bump?


The reason I started this thread is because I wanted to compare the answers to an old thread - to see which aspects of type (how people perceive certain type differences) are consistent and which were perhaps were people talking out of their ass in previous threads. Scientific method, consistency, and all that.

Notice any interesting patterns so far?
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Not a lot offends but some annoy since what's expressed doesn't come from a rational perspective.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
I hate when certain thinkers fail to realize that every human is an individual with unique experiences and perspectives and thus habitually lump entire groups in people into rigid boxes measured by data.
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
.
Considering how I talk IRL, it would be hypocritical of me to classify someone else's communication offensive.
 
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