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[NT] Is it possible for an INTP to have a high EQ?

XxShadoWolfxX

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Hey INTP's, is it possible for a younger person to have a strong Fe because according to the stack, it develops last, normally during the persons mid life, but can it be better developed when they're young? Like in their teen years.
 

Zeego

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I don't think EQ is necessarily related to development of Fe. I'm sure it's possible for an INTP to have a high EQ, but it's probably very rare due to them being IxTx types.
 
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First of all, how do we define EQ? Is there a reliable test to measure it so that we could truly know if one person had higher EQ than another?

I'll tell you this much, from my own experience as an INTP: I was terrible with people when I was a kid. I couldn't read them and had no idea what to say to them. But by the time I got into my teens, even though I still didn't know what to say to them much of the time, I was getting a lot better at reading them. At that age, the few friends I had started coming to me for interpersonal advice and support to help them better understand themselves and others. Ten years later, when I was in my late twenties, people I was close to were telling me that I should become a psychotherapist because they thought I was so good at helping them gain insight into themselves and work through their personal problems. But, they still complained that my own interpersonal skills, such as relationship maintenance, self-disclosure, and conflict resolution, left something to be desired. Finally, in my mid thirties, my Fe had developed to the point that, for the first time in my life, I could do the small talk thing well enough that I was getting positive feedback from friends of friends who'd met me here or there and came away from the meeting telling others that I was "such a nice person." I still don't enjoy small talk, though, and I'd say I've only gotten a little better at self-disclosure and conflict resolution by being very intentional about it, while my relationship maintenance with most of my friends has probably gotten a bit worse over time since I'm less and less inclined to socialize.

So, considering myself as an example, if EQ is understanding others--having insight into who they are, how they think and feel, their motives and intentions, their psychological strengths and weaknesses, and so on--then, at least according to others, I have high EQ. But if EQ is knowing how to communicate effectively with others--how to express my own feelings, how to respond to their feelings, how to build and maintain a network of relationships, and so on--then, at least according to others, I have lower than average EQ.
 

Obfuscate

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my experiences are pretty similar to the blundering alice above... the primary differences would lay on the timeline... i think i hit those shifts a bit more rapidly...

i don't hold much stock in iq, eq, etc... i think it's more or less a dick measuring contest, and i am not all that keen to participate...

all in all i am content to keep to myself...

post script:

actually as a small child i was more of an extroverted sensor... my social skills were great... they sort of fell apart during a turbulent stretch, but after that it lines up well with the above...
 

Hermit of the Forest

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Hey INTP's, is it possible for a younger person to have a strong Fe because according to the stack, it develops last, normally during the persons mid life, but can it be better developed when they're young? Like in their teen years.

During my teen years a lot of things happened that developed my Fe significantly. It felt like mental and emotional torture though lol. It is possible. Even so, polish comes with time. There are no quick fixes.
 

Norexan

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Very unlikely. dom Ti is rational logic like math. Reality doesn't apply to Ti especially if you are INTP. :)
 

Fluffywolf

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I have my own definition of what I believe EQ is like. I tend to score low on standard EQ tests, but feel like the score is not representing the full scope of dimensions that I bring to the table when it comes to EQ. So here are some of my thoughts.

...


INTP's and the general understanding of EQ. There is a dimension that is often not understood. We don't score low because we don't care about people. We score low because we do care and the answers we can choose from are borked. INTP's that score low on EQ likely aren't low on EQ at all. At least not my personal belief of what real emotional intelligence is like. Having empathy and finding solutions, aren't INTP's made for that?



EQ test questions often don't fully consider intention and are expecting gut reactions, and INTP's are often forced to answer in such a way they won't get points, while being fully aware of the consequences of all answers. Even knowing which answer would've given them their much wanted points, but being unable to answer it as they fervently dislike the idea of copping out.

INTP's tend to prefer strengthening peoples skins. Constructing methods and tools that will help them grow and deal with the future. While often EQ tests expect answers to soothe in the moment, to understand problems and give comfort without any thought bias. This is not where the INTP is strongest.

If you are an INTP, and you actually score high on EQ, you probably aren't high as you are not actually using your strengths to your advantage and are disabling a large part of yourself. If you truly care for others then focus on intention rather than scores. Bring your entire being and with that, perspective and understanding far beyond the expectations. As an INTP, you have the unique ability to focus all your energy to deeply understand any situation and are able to not just give a shoulderpat, but so much more.

The issue is with the tests, not with INTP's.
 

Fluffywolf

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Also, I find that people who score very high on EQ who would tell me the fact I deal with a situation in a certain way and not their way is because my EQ is low is obviously severely lacking EQ themselves.


Basicly EQ tests are bullshit. :p
 

Tilt

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I believe so if your environment necessitates it. It just won't be as second nature.
 

Forever_Jung

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I think many INTP's have a keen understanding of social dynamics. Maybe they aren't all naturals, but I think INTP's tend to master and learn anything that interests them. I would say their weakness would be social stamina and having to spontaneously respond to unexpected emotional events. I have observed that many INTP's are often absurdly polite and mild people (almost comically obliging), which I assume is them trying to placate people and prevent emotional outbursts:newwink:

I'm an NT myself (ENTP), and I think I have high EQ and I'm capable of a great deal of charm, but sometimes under pressure/stress/fatigue I don't always have the energy/patience to "thread the needle" socially. Under stress, I can feel my neck getting wobbly from the weight of the pleasant mask I'm wearing. I would say I'm a great social sprinter, who turns it on when I need it, but I prefer to be surrounded by people who don't require me to keep that up all the time.
 

Peter Deadpan

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Yes. INTP 9s tend to be more in touch with Fe, in my experience. I think they would look more like ISFJs in that regard. Or, even a healthy INTP 6 with a 9 fix would probably have a stronger connection to Fe.
 

Totenkindly

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Yes. INTP 9s tend to be more in touch with Fe, in my experience. I think they would look more like ISFJs in that regard. Or, even a healthy INTP 6 with a 9 fix would probably have a stronger connection to Fe.

Interesting. I do have a really strong 9 and (bizarrely) empathized with and can relate to ISFJs in my life, even if I come from the opposite end of things.

I made a number of gaffs socially when my Ne would go wild when I was much younger, despite being really aware of when I was transgressing. I also was frustrated because I could easily feel Fe society beating on me from all sides while also feeling like I had to conform in order to avoid conflict / maintain the peace. Which is another reason why I internalized / withdrew from society a lot.

I think non-priority functions always need time to develop (and/or develop nuanced use_, but I agree with someone else who said that NTPs who want to master something (seriously master it) usually can learn things. It's just funny, because it's still a utilitarian approach -- "I want to know how to use this," not necessarily to live in it.

I think I still scan as someone who values Fe kinds of interactions in my environment even if I don't present as an Fe-dom. It's like learning another language, I think at this stage I am capable of "thinking" in it. I guess getting back to the question, if you are willing to subject yourself to it and have an interest in it, you can perceive the currents around you. (This is traditionally associated more with Ne perceiving trait, because Ti judging just wants to push back hard against Fe concerns due to the inhibiting influence on impersonal logic conclusions). But I think you have to get beyond Fe as a "shallow" thing, it's part of the good-faith learning process with its own set of nuances -- you have to learn how to respect what it's trying to accomplish and see why it exists, not just view it as some evil monster out to murder rational thought and force people to conform to some pleasant external appearance. It is trying to set up balances and behaviors that build community, allowing for open pathways for risk and growth and communication. It aims for "us" rather than "me," although like any other approach it can be selfishly abused and mistaken.

I actually find Fi concepts harder to integrate because they exist on the same internal plane as my Ti processes and thus to me feel much more in conflict, like two people trying to share the same chair at the same time. I really had trouble learning how to integrate self-vision and internal subjective value about life until my 30's and later.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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I think non-priority functions always need time to develop (and/or develop nuanced use_, but I agree with someone else who said that NTPs who want to master something (seriously master it) usually can learn things. It's just funny,
I think I still scan as someone who values Fe kinds of interactions in my environment even if I don't present as an Fe-dom. It's like learning another language, I think at this stage I am capable of "thinking" in it. I guess getting back to the question, if you are willing to subject yourself to it and have an interest in it, you can perceive the currents around you. (This is traditionally associated more with Ne perceiving trait, because Ti judging just wants to push back hard against Fe concerns due to the inhibiting influence on impersonal logic conclusions). But I think you have to get beyond Fe as a "shallow" thing, it's part of the good-faith learning process with its own set of nuances -- you have to learn how to respect what it's trying to accomplish and see why it exists, not just view it as some evil monster out to murder rational thought and force people to conform to some pleasant external appearance. It is trying to set up balances and behaviors that build community, allowing for open pathways for risk and growth and communication. It aims for "us" rather than "me," although like any other approach it can be selfishly abused and mistaken.

I actually find Fi concepts harder to integrate because they exist on the same internal plane as my Ti processes and thus to me feel much more in conflict, like two people trying to share the same chair at the same time. I really had trouble learning how to integrate self-vision and internal subjective value about life until my 30's and later.

This is most interesting. I'm with you on Fi, by the way. I've tried a lot in the past two years to devote conscious attention to interpersonal interactions, and sometimes just try it for the sake of it, even when I'd rather not. I think it pays off at least sometimes. Sometimes, I'll try and meet needs that aren't otherwise being met by the environment, and that helps. although it can be hard to figure out what those needs are, sometimes.
 
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