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How do you dominant and auxiliary Fi types deal with really intense feelings?

treetophideaway

New member
Joined
Jan 2, 2017
Messages
64
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
I am either a dominant or auxiliary Fi type. I don't know whether Se or Fi comes first or second. I can say Se feels a little more natural or maybe easier is the right way to say it. They both occur very naturally, but Se is easier to embrace I guess. I don't know if that means Se is dominant because it's easier to handle or if Fi is dominant because it's more intense feeling although not as easy to handle sometimes. Fi is harder to handle at times because I get such intense feelings (particularly negative ones like sadness, fear/anxiety, loneliness) and I don't know what to do with them sometimes. I get overwhelmed by feelings sometimes and want to run from them or just not feel them which has led to some unhealthy decisions in order to avoid them. How do you deal with really intense feelings? What are some of your healthy ways you deal with them and what unhealthy ways of dealing with them do you struggle with?
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Unhealthy: anxiety/OCD; depression to the point that I am, to quote Keats, "half in love with easeful Death"; disordered eating
Healthy: trying with all my might to accept and recognize those things which I cannot change and to live in the moment without worrying about them, drugs (the prescription kind to help with the anxiety), time to myself and time doing things that feed my spirit

I'm not great at using the healthy instead of the unhealthy, but I am getting better.
 

Seeker33

New member
Joined
Mar 11, 2018
Messages
17
MBTI Type
ENFP
Sometimes i just listen to a lot of music that matches my mood until the emotion feels it's been fairly experienced. Often I just exercise a lot and channel them into exercise so they have an outlet.

If they are really complex or persistent though, I go into introvert mode and go hide somewhere away from people or activities. I've found the best way for me to deal with them is to just get a notebook and journal as much as i can so that i can first clearly identify the emotions, identify the causes of them, and maybe figure out ways to deal with them. Just identifying the reason i'm behaving this way is usually a huge step.

Some people like to talk their emotions out with other people. I dont like to do that. I keep them on lockdown most of the time.

I try not to avoid them though, i've learned over years that just makes them worse, and they keep expressing themselves in different ways.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
I try and disarm them with logic. Note I said try. It doesn’t always work and the more intense (love anyone?) the emotion the less logic seems able to defuse it. It’s like finding out what’s going bump in the night instead of sitting there imagining what’s making the noise. I seek the origins of the feeling out and compare it to my general attitude towards that particular emotion. I attempt to rationalize it.

Again, sometimes you can analyze it up and down and the potency of it just overrides reason. Then it can be an exhausting long term battle to overcome it. You have to keep attacking the emotion with logic because one moment you’re able to say I know the reality is X but I keep slipping into Y. Emotion can seriously distort perception.
 

LucieCat

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
665
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have auxiliary Fi. I try to work through the emotions inside my head first. I find that expressing what I'm feeling in a calm manner helps me process the information. My beloved cat suddenly died recently. I went about my day as normal, but I let people know what happened in case I randomly burst into tears. But repeating the facts and what had happened sort of helped me process through the emotion and what I had gone through early that morning.

With Fi, I sometimes find it's best to withdrawal when I'm feeling emotionally overhelmed or an extremely sad or angry. Sit myself down and acknowledge the situation for what it is. I also observe my own reactions and acknowledge what I'm feeling. If I don't think I acted properly, I'll think about what I should do in the future instead. But I also know I can't stay in that sense of just letting myself absorb the emotion forever. I need to get back out into the world or I feel that I won't be able to.
 
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