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View Poll Results: You must obey my rules, but I can ignore or break your rules

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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    No. As long as no one is hurting others or is hurting themselves, live and let live. That's my philosophy.
    I'm not saying that you personally have to identify with the question even if I put "you" and "your" in the question. In that case I wouldn't expect anybody with Fi in their function stacking to agree with it. But could there be someone you know..?

  2. #22
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
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    Keep in mind that there is a form of mastery that cones with it, mal.

    It takes time to tame the wild beast that is Fi. That means that it starts out as raw emotional information which a person responds to in sheer gut reaction. Over the years however, you learn to process that information and put it to use.

    But that means that you have to learn to analyse, balance out, utilise and execute different emotional states in a different range of scenarios(Se/Ne context).

    You may encounter someone who is NFP who has strong political opinions and values but who hasnt applied that same value at home with their roommates yet.
    It doesnt mean that they dont believe in that value or ser its worth. It may well be that they havent gotten to that level yet( i dunno about others but for me this shit trickles down. Its easier to start at a big abstract level with a vslue and see/testvits impact than it is to apply it on a small practical scale in my own life - i suspect its the other way around for sfps).

    So that means, they might not be aware of the possible application in their life in that particluar spot yet, or that they are aware but are still working out the kinks on actually applying those values in that sphere of influence, which may be made difficult by other emotional triggers that are still being sorted, for example.

    For me, for instance, i tend to take a very strong stance on not harming others and free will, yet there are several instances in my life where i dont bother to adhere to that rule when it comes to myself. Yet the rule wad borne out of a desire to not be harmed myself and to not feel the pain of others when they get harmed. Ironically, im still not able to fully implement that rule for myself because i was taught 'not to be silly' when i was in pain. That means that now, it is extra hard work to be consideratw of myself and an ingrained habit to just gloss over it when im too stressed and tired elsewhere to put in that effort.
    That is something im actively trying to undo now. Yet that value has been with me for 20+ years. It just was that massive of a project to internally align with it and work out all the kinks.


    I think it's that part that ironically drives especially Ti users nuts sometimes and looks like inconsistency and hypocricy. You can hold a value as Truth while falling short of it and striving to model your life after it (and finetuning it)

    Think of it as a blueprint by an architect. While that part is pretty mich clear and finished, The house itself is still being brought up to code, but meanwhile we still have to go on with our lives and ise the half finished stuff we have so far - to testdrive it and coz thats all we got for now
    Likes Bush, ceecee, Dreamer, Abcdenfp liked this post

  3. #23
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    This sort of thing would be a very "primitive" Fi, and likely fit the tertiary or especially inferior Fi of TJ's (and likely very immature, unhealthy or at least Te-overdriven ones at that).
    It seems the most primitive aspects of Fi often get projected onto the entire function, but more mature Fi is usually more "live and let live". It's about putting yourself in the other person's place, and you would generally know that others wouldn't like you ruling over them, or breaking their rules, so they might be more the opposite.
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    Likes prplchknz, Cassandra, N/A, Bush liked this post

  4. #24
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    This sort of thing would be a very "primitive" Fi, and likely fit the tertiary or especially inferior Fi of TJ's (and likely very immature, unhealthy or at least Te-overdriven ones at that).
    It seems the most primitive aspects of Fi often get projected onto the entire function, but more mature Fi is usually more "live and let live". It's about putting yourself in the other person's place, and you would generally know that others wouldn't like you ruling over them, or breaking their rules, so they might be more the opposite.
    I've always been live and let live.i have a code i live by vut thats just for me no one els3, i expect others to have their own code that works for them. That being said how is that remotely like me forcing people to live by my rules?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:

  5. #25
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    Well I'm a low-level BDSM brat, so I like to overstep boundaries and break rules. You know, like a cat. *slowly knocks empty glass off table without breaking eye contact*

    Also, you can destroy half of my rules with the right look cuz half of my rules stem from 4-ish melodrama
    DISCIPLINE ME DADDY.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I've always been live and let live.i have a code i live by vut thats just for me no one els3, i expect others to have their own code that works for them. That being said how is that remotely like me forcing people to live by my rules?
    These types of rules come from Fi values, for example, valuing alone time. So the rule that results is something like "don't bother me when I want to be alone." That is different from a rule coming from Fe values which requires that others do what the Fe person is doing. So if an Fe value is to be supportive of others, the rule is that everybody should be supportive of others. An Fi rule is oriented toward the Fi person and is independent of society, whereas an Fe rule is based on societal rules and is oriented toward following social rules.

    Although the Fe value produces a "should," it is not necessarily forceful. It might be if the Fe person is emotionally unstable and anxious. An Fi person wouldn't usually be forceful about their rules, but would feel various levels of upsetness involving secluding oneself from the source of pain. Direct force would be a sign of severe mental illness.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Well, I am Fe and I LOVE it when people listen to my rules!
    I don't have a lot of rules, but the ones I do are absolute and anyone who breaks them is disrespectful. Like - I'm OCPD and I don't want people to sit on my bed because their ass sat on a park bench and got germs all over it and I don't want those germs on my bed. I've had people deliberately ignore me when I tell them NOT to do something and it pisses me off so much I nearly throw them out of my house. If I have a rule it WILL be followed or your ass is out of here.

    I'm still Extra Fucking Salty about the time one of my ISTJ friends licked my phone because they know I think it's disgusting. Literally almost threw them out. I had to remove myself from the room for a half hour to cool down and it was like two years ago but I'm still not over it. The fact that they did it because they knew it bothered me and wanted to rebel against what they saw as my 'stupid' rules is what angers me the most.
    Likes Metis liked this post

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Keep in mind that there is a form of mastery that cones with it, mal.

    It takes time to tame the wild beast that is Fi. That means that it starts out as raw emotional information which a person responds to in sheer gut reaction. Over the years however, you learn to process that information and put it to use.

    But that means that you have to learn to analyse, balance out, utilise and execute different emotional states in a different range of scenarios(Se/Ne context).

    You may encounter someone who is NFP who has strong political opinions and values but who hasnt applied that same value at home with their roommates yet.
    It doesnt mean that they dont believe in that value or ser its worth. It may well be that they havent gotten to that level yet( i dunno about others but for me this shit trickles down. Its easier to start at a big abstract level with a vslue and see/testvits impact than it is to apply it on a small practical scale in my own life - i suspect its the other way around for sfps).

    So that means, they might not be aware of the possible application in their life in that particluar spot yet, or that they are aware but are still working out the kinks on actually applying those values in that sphere of influence, which may be made difficult by other emotional triggers that are still being sorted, for example.

    For me, for instance, i tend to take a very strong stance on not harming others and free will, yet there are several instances in my life where i dont bother to adhere to that rule when it comes to myself. Yet the rule wad borne out of a desire to not be harmed myself and to not feel the pain of others when they get harmed. Ironically, im still not able to fully implement that rule for myself because i was taught 'not to be silly' when i was in pain. That means that now, it is extra hard work to be consideratw of myself and an ingrained habit to just gloss over it when im too stressed and tired elsewhere to put in that effort.
    That is something im actively trying to undo now. Yet that value has been with me for 20+ years. It just was that massive of a project to internally align with it and work out all the kinks.


    I think it's that part that ironically drives especially Ti users nuts sometimes and looks like inconsistency and hypocricy. You can hold a value as Truth while falling short of it and striving to model your life after it (and finetuning it)

    Think of it as a blueprint by an architect. While that part is pretty mich clear and finished, The house itself is still being brought up to code, but meanwhile we still have to go on with our lives and ise the half finished stuff we have so far - to testdrive it and coz thats all we got for now
    The SFP types won't start small and then apply big. They start small and stay there. Solving the "big" issues doesn't interest them. When confronted with such a question, the SFP just shrugs and says there is nothing they can do about it so there is no point worrying about it.

    As for the NFP dealing with a big question, often there is a general answer but no specifics and no details.

  9. #29
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    Mal, when did you change your MBTI to IxTP? Are you considering ISTP now as well?

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by yama View Post
    I don't have a lot of rules, but the ones I do are absolute and anyone who breaks them is disrespectful. Like - I'm OCPD and I don't want people to sit on my bed because their ass sat on a park bench and got germs all over it and I don't want those germs on my bed. I've had people deliberately ignore me when I tell them NOT to do something and it pisses me off so much I nearly throw them out of my house. If I have a rule it WILL be followed or your ass is out of here.

    I'm still Extra Fucking Salty about the time one of my ISTJ friends licked my phone because they know I think it's disgusting. Literally almost threw them out. I had to remove myself from the room for a half hour to cool down and it was like two years ago but I'm still not over it. The fact that they did it because they knew it bothered me and wanted to rebel against what they saw as my 'stupid' rules is what angers me the most.
    Dude it's their loss, licking one's phone is one of the nastiest things you can do, it's more filthy than people assume it to be.

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