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How can I stop feeling sad about being a sensor?

InfernoToucan

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2017
Messages
27
MBTI Type
ESFJ
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6w7
Initially, I became very interested in type theory when I thought I was an INFP. When I was younger, I'd always dreamt of being a writer. I was okay at school with a horrendous attention span, barely made any friends and developed serious social anxiety, etc. daydreamed constantly with some pretty varied themes about fictional characters and my own characters...

Somehow INFP just didnt feel right. The description of Ne was an explosion of ideas. They made INFPs out to be geniuses, almost as good as the other Ne-doms and able to solve any puzzle but with the use of Ne instead of Ni. I thought "Really? That can't be me, can it?"

For a while, thinking I was among the intuitives, I was pretty high on life. My self confidence soared. I put all my energy into trying to write a book...and was struggling to find ideas. I had a few, but most of the ones I came up with were stolen. I became obsessed with trying to determine my abilities. I took a random IQ test online (I know, I know, "IQ tests online aren't completely reliable", but this one seemed pretty legitimate) and I did...okay. I got stuck on several problems, stressed that I wasn't a real intuitive because I couldn't come up with any further answers.

There was an itch in the back of my head which I believe is my inferior Ti. The desire for the truth. I kept searching for the perfect Marc in terms of MBTI...and realized I was never a Fi Dom all along. No, I'm a sensor.

And not just any sensor...a "guardian" or "giver" type. At least I could've had the talent of a Se-dom, but that seems to escape me. it hit me like a bunch of bricks: My talent is my low self esteem. I hate myself so much and don't trust my abilities that I try to be as nice as possible. After seeing that I still get rejected by other people, I thought "maybe I'm not like other people. Maybe I'm meant to be more intellectually minded. To focus on things other than my relationships with people...or in this case lack thereof"

Its sad, isn't it? My strengths in this sense are my weakness and are the reason I feel like I'm eternally doomed to never truly live a fulfilling life.

I know this is completely melodramatic and eye-rolling, but I have no where else to turn to in order to seek advice. I know many of you probably hate the fact that I am dumping on this type; hell, I'd love to be an ESFJ if I could actually make friends. If I could be a great Fe-dom. But I'm not. :/ MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever. and I should just give up on the dream of being a writer, or a creative type, because how the hell can I compete with the genius of Se, Ne, and Ni doms?
 

Smilephantomhive

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Joined
Aug 11, 2015
Messages
3,352
MBTI Type
ISTJ
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6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.
 

Atomic Fiend

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Nov 16, 2007
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7,275
Self pity serves no one least of all yourself. I think you're attributing far to much value to your type AKA 4 letters that symbolize absolutely nothing of any real value.
 

Smilephantomhive

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i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.

I have felt the same way as you before. You thinking this way shows that you have low self esteem and are taking mbti too seriously as Atomic has alluded to below me. I would try and think of your strengths and self in a non mbti way, before you continue on your mbti journey.
 

Forever

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Don't use ESFJ as a bad placeholder or expectations of what is meant to be for one's life, any type can be great or terrible.

I would suggest learning to be an optimist rather than a pessimist, it may not be as cool as a realist, but at least your life is >>>>> better than it was before.

Again:

:notype:
 

entropie

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i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.

What is life?
 

InfernoToucan

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Nov 1, 2017
Messages
27
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ESFJ
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6w7
[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] I know you mean well...but really, I am actually doomed as an ESFJ. I desire the thing I can never have: strong relationships. I've chased after this my entire life only to no avail. ESFJ's are known for their ability to cultivate fulfilling relationships, and that gives them happiness. Meanwhile, I just end up with some pretty abusive folks in my life. I thought I would be happier getting some hobbies, but then I keep getting reminded I'm not really good enough for any of those things...

Smilephantomhive said:
I have felt the same way as you before. You thinking this way shows that you have low self esteem and are taking mbti too seriously as Atomic has alluded to below me. I would try and think of your strengths and self in a non mbti way, before you continue on your mbti journey.

I'm sorry, but what strengths? The only strength I have is that I can be a huge pushover. I have none of the charismatic abilities of a true Fe-dom, funny enough. I'm this weirdly made sad ESFJ/INTP hybrid without any of the strengths of the 4 cognitive factors.

entropie said:
what is life?

It sucks. And sensors are people too dumb to join intuitive land.
 

Smilephantomhive

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[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]


I'm sorry, but what strengths? The only strength I have is that I can be a huge pushover. I have none of the charismatic abilities of a true Fe-dom, funny enough. I'm this weirdly made sad ESFJ/INTP hybrid without any of the strengths of the 4 cognitive factors.


I don't know. You will have to introspect to to find to find them, or maybe ask people who are close to you in real life. Or you can try and gain some skills to help boost your confidence, but don't expect to gain the skills right away without practice or you will feel worse.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
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Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
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952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] I know you mean well...but really, I am actually doomed as an ESFJ. I desire the thing I can never have: strong relationships. I've chased after this my entire life only to no avail. ESFJ's are known for their ability to cultivate fulfilling relationships, and that gives them happiness. Meanwhile, I just end up with some pretty abusive folks in my life. I thought I would be happier getting some hobbies, but then I keep getting reminded I'm not really good enough for any of those things...



I'm sorry, but what strengths? The only strength I have is that I can be a huge pushover. I have none of the charismatic abilities of a true Fe-dom, funny enough. I'm this weirdly made sad ESFJ/INTP hybrid without any of the strengths of the 4 cognitive factors.



It sucks. And sensors are people too dumb to join intuitive land.

First of all, your current state of mind is not your healthy state of mind. That being so, whatever type you are, you won't see your current self reflected in the description of a healthy xxxx type.

Second, you're beating yourself up far too much. From your ability to express yourself it's clear you aren't dumb. And the idea that you aren't good at anything is a bunch of baloney.

Stop thinking about the MBTI for awhile. Do something you enjoy.

Join an interesting group or club. Find a knitting group near you. They won't care if you aren't any good at knitting. They'll teach you and you could make some friends.
 

Yama

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I'm an ESFJ and I didn't make a single friend in my entire 5 years of college ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also wrote a science fiction / fantasy novel in 2012 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm also in the process of publishing a short story of mine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And I used to teach first order logic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now I'm a microbiology technician ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry kid but if you're a sensor you can never hope of being anything more than a loser with a 70 IQ who lives in their parents' basement, has no job and lives off of welfare ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 

Forever

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I'm an ESFJ and I didn't make a single friend in my entire 5 years of college ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also wrote a science fiction / fantasy novel in 2012 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm also in the process of publishing a short story of mine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And I used to teach first order logic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now I'm a microbiology technician ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry kid but if you're a sensor you can never hope of being anything more than a loser with a 70 IQ who lives in their parents' basement, has no job and lives off of welfare ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm an INFJ, I'm older than you, dropped out of college and ain't even famous. [yet] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I never wrote my than a long blog post.. or spamming some friend on an online mmo. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So nowhere near publishing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I only took an introductory logic class. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, I couldn't really get a decent grade in biology because I always slept through the class. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah, I'm an intuitive and by this rate. I'm below 70 IQ and I ain't even living on welfare. I'm bowing down to sensor master race over here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

mbti has taught me nothing, except how to confuse my identity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks yama for letting me overly steal the shrug.


P.S. I still live with my parents.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 

InfernoToucan

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ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
I'm an ESFJ and I didn't make a single friend in my entire 5 years of college ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also wrote a science fiction / fantasy novel in 2012 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm also in the process of publishing a short story of mine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And I used to teach first order logic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now I'm a microbiology technician ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry kid but if you're a sensor you can never hope of being anything more than a loser with a 70 IQ who lives in their parents' basement, has no job and lives off of welfare ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What made you realize you were an ESFJ? How do each of your functions work? I'm not saying its impossible to write as an SFJ...but we will probably never reach the genius of the NFPs in this regard. :( Sorry to say...
And honestly feeling like that. While others go off and do wondrous things with their intellect, or produce art, my job is to plaster a smile on my face to hide the hurt and bake a cake filled with rainbows. WTF.

Are you serious? If there's anybody in this thread who's trolling heavy-duty, it is surely, surely, surely the OP.

Do "sensors are people too dumb to join intuitive land," and "I'm eternally doomed to never truly live a fulfilling life," and "MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever" really sound sincere to you?

Really?

Go ahead think im a troll, but im telling the truth. Sensors are fine if they're anything but an ESFJ. Seriously, what's so great about us? That we please others and don't want anything for ourselves? I have to live a life essentially being everyone's mommy?
 

reckful

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Go ahead think im a troll, but im telling the truth. Sensors are fine if they're anything but an ESFJ. Seriously, what's so great about us? That we please others and don't want anything for ourselves? I have to live a life essentially being everyone's mommy?

You said, "MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever."

If you can point me to a couple MBTI sources that say S's "have no strengths whatsoever," I'd be curious to check them out.

And if you can't, why did you tell us, "MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever"?

It's also worth noting that MBTI "preferences" are called "preferences" for a reason. If you're contemptuous of all the things that tend to be associated with ESFJs, maybe you're not an ESFJ after all.

Finally, personality typologies like the MBTI (and the Big Five) are about tendencies and probabilities, rather than what any particular type can't do or never does. What's more, they're about underlying temperament tugs that are only one of several possible contributors to someone's ultimate behavior.

So even if you're an ESFJ, that doesn't necessarily mean you can't or won't end up doing various things that aren't typical of ESFJs.
 

Yama

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Typology descriptions pretty much all suck. You're not a type, you're a person. I went through a phase where I was all angsty over my type's shitty description but it doesn't define me and it never will. I don't live to serve and I'm not lesser than anyone else based on a type. You just kind of have to get over it and move on.
 
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Dude, nothing is wrong with being an ESFJ. MBTI gives you a platform so you can better understand the way you and others think, but that's about it. Other than that, it's irrelevant when it comes to you as an individual. You don't have to be a stereotype, you know. Sure, there are dumb people online who talk shit about certain types more than others, but don't pay any mind to them. Do something with your life that you can be proud of, regardless about what the type descriptions say.

Rise above. :solidarity:
 

InfernoToucan

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You said, "MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever."

If you can point me to a couple MBTI sources that say S's "have no strengths whatsoever," I'd be curious to check them out.

And if you can't, why did you tell us, "MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever"?

It's also worth noting that MBTI "preferences" are called "preferences" for a reason. If you're contemptuous of all the things that tend to be associated with ESFJs, maybe you're not an ESFJ after all.

Finally, personality typologies like the MBTI (and the Big Five) are about tendencies and probabilities, rather than what any particular type can't do or never does. What's more, they're about underlying temperament tugs that are only one of several possible contributors to someone's ultimate behavior.

So even if you're an ESFJ, that doesn't necessarily mean you can't or won't end up doing various things that aren't typical of ESFJs.

While I do see your argument (and initially I was trying to be in line with your sort of thought process and trying to be positive), I don't think thats how "preferences" work. I absolutely abhor my Fe; it is the cause of 99% of my problems, but nevertheless it is a part of me like oxygen. It's my body's natural response to any situation, and I believe thats what "preference" means.
I also think that, while people (I.e. sensors) try to deny, the functions you use do end up correlating strongly with your abilities. Think about it: a Ne-dom would have had great practice using Ne since childhood, and maintained that openness even towards adulthood. The amount of ideas I generate in one sitting as a tert-Ne takes them probably 1/20th of the time or some crazy number like that. It's no wonder that there are ties between being an Intuitive Dom, thinker type, and high IQ; also that INTP's are considered to have the highest of all. I may do atypical works of ESFJs but I will not even touch the surface of brilliance a Ne-dom can produce.
[MENTION=23583]yama[/MENTION]
I mean sure, human cognition is very complicated...but I suppose MBTI type theory somehow fits strongly with what I observe about people (my inferior Ti has officially taken over here lol). It doesn't explain everything, but for now it makes sense. The (unhealthy) ESFJ description fit me so well to an unusual extent...
I am curious what is your constant choice in engaging in Fe behavior? What makes you so concerned about how you appear to others and in maintaining social harmony? What happened to you during the years you struggled to make friends? Did it impact your use of Fe in any way?
 

InfernoToucan

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I'm an INFJ, I'm older than you, dropped out of college and ain't even famous. [yet] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I never wrote my than a long blog post.. or spamming some friend on an online mmo. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So nowhere near publishing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I only took an introductory logic class. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, I couldn't really get a decent grade in biology because I always slept through the class. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah, I'm an intuitive and by this rate. I'm below 70 IQ and I ain't even living on welfare. I'm bowing down to sensor master race over here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

mbti has taught me nothing, except how to confuse my identity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks yama for letting me overly steal the shrug.


P.S. I still live with my parents.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Your ability to do well in school and/or graduate from college doesn't necessarily mean you don't have potential to do something extroadinary. Look at Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, etc- Steve Jobs was an ENP as far as I know. Bill Gates had to have been an "N" type lol.
With that Ni, your IQ is probably much higher than you're trying to come off...
 
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