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  1. #21
    Senior Jr. SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Patience. Te tends to steamroll in the name if efficiency, especially in Te doms and Te tertiaries, ime.

    Keeping in mind that making the world into a germantrain isnt necessarily a priority allows you to step back and breathe while you give others a chance to get on board woth your Te plans.

    I ll admit im still struggling with this myself as the fristration and irritation builds up without me realising it, causing sudden bursts of steam rollingg. Disconnecting a second to go back to the big picture while taking into account what people need - evenif it means sitting on your hands a bit - tends to do the trick and allows me to reengage Ne and find perhaps a different way to achieve my Te goal without steamrolling everyone.

    /2 cents.
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    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  2. #22
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    Be pre-emptive instead of reactive
    Im out, its been fun
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  3. #23
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    Be pre-emptive instead of reactive
    Great point! That instant reaction you feel internally is great for getting the gears moving, but that should be it, just as the ignition switch. The car hasn't been shifted into drive yet.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt


    ~Always, an Enthusiastic_Dreamer

  4. #24
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    My now middle-aged ENFP friend says she needed to learn to stop trying to change others and instead focus on fully representing her own values, championing her beliefs by living them, not by trying to get others to change.

    It is acting, not persuading.

    It seems that too many Te users act like they believe they see clearly the speck in the eyes of others, not understanding that the log in their own eye prevents them from seeing clearly.
    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984

    “It is clear that thought is not free if the profession of certain opinions makes it impossible to earn a living. It is clear also that thought is not free if all the arguments on one side of a controversy are perpetually presented as attractively as possible, while the arguments on the other side can only be discovered by diligent search.”

    ― Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    Great point! That instant reaction you feel internally is great for getting the gears moving, but that should be it, just as the ignition switch. The car hasn't been shifted into drive yet.
    You have more time to figure out how the best way is to handle things when you are pre-emptive. Ass-hole is not always the best way to handle things, but it generaly has the quickest response...not always the best response for the situation.

    I read something yesterday about Dom Te and it said its about structuring your life and then extending that to help others structure theirs. But what ends up being missed is how to actually get people to respond in a way that helps them. You cant just tell people how to structure self and life, you have to work with the person themself not just objective data or facts. Its why i posted zig-ziglar. Because he has ALOT of good ways to help others as well as self to structure properly without ass-hole. You can learn just as much from listening to how he deals with different people as you can from learning a good way to structure self.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    My now middle-aged ENFP friend says she needed to learn to stop trying to change others and instead focus on fully representing her own values, championing her beliefs by living them, not by trying to get others to change.

    It is acting, not persuading.

    It seems that too many Te users act like they believe they see clearly the speck in the eyes of others, not understanding that the log in their own eye prevents them from seeing clearly.
    Yes, my GF was listening to how to set goals and plan and such. So she texted me..."what exactly do you need to quit your job and move into remodelling houses". I simply flipped it back onto her..."i simply need you to finish your nursing school, that should be your focus" its something she has been wanting for years, a win-win for both. I dont hate my job, i dont come home exhausted, i dont come home frustrated with it, it pays very well. I can easily sit in my job until she is done. Its all about priorities and proper ordering of them.
    Im out, its been fun
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  7. #27
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    But at least ENFPs can get better at using Te than IXFPs....
    I feel like I've had a leg up in Te for longer than the theory would suggest, in that you develop the functions other than the dom and aux as you mature since my brother and dad are both very Te heavy, and my mom being ISFJ, was often the one to tell me to "suck it up" (in a less crass way of course) and to just follow life's many protocols in obtaining what you're after, rather than sitting there worrying over if what you're doing feels right, for you. However, none of that matters too much since I still struggle at the end of the day to get the wheels moving, in bringing my ideas and goals to fruition. It's so so easy, and tempting(!) to stay in daydream land and imagine a reality versus creating one.

    But! If I ever do utilize my Te and set my sights on to accomplishing something that is truly meaningful to me, ya, it's pretty awesome of a function and I'm pretty badass with it, to me at least (Reality may say otherwise and my Te may have no more finesse than an ogre in the ice capades but I'll just stick to my dreamland on this "fact" haha)

  8. #28
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    To respond to this thread, I've found it most useful for me to stay focused on why I'm working on a project and to maintain that big picture understanding behind everything.

    Te can be like a drug to me. It feels amazing when I'm zeroed in and seeing everything at play, moving all the bits and pieces together in my mind and being the conductor of the symphony that is project management. However, if I start focusing on the emotional gains from achieving each and every completed task along the way, rather than allowing a slower build of positive emotions in seeing my vision come to life, then I will do whatever I can to ensure I get more of the candy and start consuming without much thought or consideration for others as any addict may. That's when and how Te can turn me into an asshole towards others. It feels fantastic in the moment and I honest to God, feel like I have so much power in my hands, but once I snap out of it, it doesn't feel good at all.

    The ideal here, is if I can tap into that drive and determination that jumping into an Ne/Te mode can provide, but not let it consume me by keeping the bigger picture in mind. Over the years I've been getting closer to this ideal balance but I still have slip ups.
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  9. #29
    Liberator Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madboot View Post
    This is a large part of what I do. Also accepting that not everyone needs corrected/fixed even if I know they are wrong. It isn't my job to educate everyone around me. It my job to keep my own shit together.
    Exactly. I tend to offer those corrections/fixes only when asked by the other person, or when their actions are having direct negative impact on me. In the first case, if they don't want to follow my advice, that is their choice. Sometimes it is easier for an outside observer to see what the best/better course of action is, as the individual is too close to the situation. That being said, I am not them; I might have different priorities, and probably don't know the entirety of the situation. Only they can decide what is right for them, and they will be the ones to live with the consequences. In the second case - negative impact on me - I will be much more insistent on getting some resolution.

    I may have developed a mindset that is actually more tolerant in this respect over the years, but even when relatively young I followed the same principles, if only because I didn't have time and energy to go around trying to fix everyone or everything around me. I was too busy pursuing my own business.


    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    Te can be like a drug to me. It feels amazing when I'm zeroed in and seeing everything at play, moving all the bits and pieces together in my mind and being the conductor of the symphony that is project management. However, if I start focusing on the emotional gains from achieving each and every completed task along the way, rather than allowing a slower build of positive emotions in seeing my vision come to life, then I will do whatever I can to ensure I get more of the candy and start consuming without much thought or consideration for others as any addict may. That's when and how Te can turn me into an asshole towards others. It feels fantastic in the moment and I honest to God, feel like I have so much power in my hands, but once I snap out of it, it doesn't feel good at all.
    I guess different candy appeals to different people. For me, the emotions of the moment are simply noise. They distract from the focus necessary to accomplish my goals, so I push them aside. This, of course, can lead me into exactly what you describe - that single-minded execution of whatever it takes to complete each task and step. I have to mentally step back from this and remember to include, not the emotions of the moment, but rather that subjective judgment that takes into account broader impacts on others, and makes sure that in working single-mindedly toward one goal, I am not compromising others.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #30
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Ive not experienced Te as an asshole function, though I find its outward certainty galling at times.

    I have no idea how to use Te myself, but in my experience Te users (especially STJs) are very patient when teaching you a new skill. My grandfather is an ISTJ, and he really breaks things down for me. Mind you, I don't like learning that way, but I appreciate the effort and care.

    Eta: Oh and I find they are a bit like Fe users in that they seem to really like having something to offer you (in terms of skills, expertise, advice, etc).

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