• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] Awkward Social Situations

Krys

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2017
Messages
39
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
How do you handle awkward social situations?


We've all been there. Maybe you said something, maybe they did, maybe you realize that you both have nothing in common but you're stuck talking to each other. Either way there's an awkward silence, and the sense that the ground won't do you a solid and swallow you up.

How do you navigate that kind of situation? And how much does social embarrassment personally impact your self esteem?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How do you handle awkward social situations?


We've all been there. Maybe you said something, maybe they did, maybe you realize that you both have nothing in common but you're stuck talking to each other. Either way there's an awkward silence, and the sense that the ground won't do you a solid and swallow you up. To me, any social embarrassment says as much about the other person(s) than about myself, so it has little to no impact on self-esteem. I don't judge myself by that sort of thing.

How do you navigate that kind of situation? And how much does social embarrassment personally impact your self esteem?
I probably don't recognize the social awkwardness most of the time, or perhaps just don't share others' standards for awkwardness, so I just plow ahead doing whatever I was otherwise going to do.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
If I'm at fault I apologize for whatever mishap has occurred. If it's the other person I'll usually follow their lead. If it's an unintentional blunder and they brush over it that's fine. If they apologize and it's apparent they meant no harm or were nervous I'll try and assure them an apology isn't necessary. It's really a matter of context and intent.
 

Ashtart

Obliviously Mad
Joined
Jun 6, 2017
Messages
614
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Usually awkward situations occur when I make a joke/statement and the person takes it personally. Then I think "oh shit, I offended him/her" and get anxious and shy for the rest of our time together.

The way I found to deal with this is think a lot before saying anything, still, from time to time this kind of thing still happens.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,552
If its something I did, I own up to it in whatever the most appropriate way is; if its something they did, I try to handle it as gracefully as possible so they can save face.
A bit of levity and a relaxed manner can wipe away a lot of awkward ime...
 

Kas

Fabula rasa
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
2,554
If its something I did, I own up to it in whatever the most appropriate way is; if its something they did, I try to handle it as gracefully as possible so they can save face.
A bit of levity and a relaxed manner can wipe away a lot of awkward ime...

I agree that it's best thing to do.
I usually handle it well and manage to make it all less awkward when it's caused by someone else. But when it's about myself unfortunately I'm very confused and embarrassed, so I look basically like this emoticon.:unsure: My friends claim it's funny:dry:
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2016
Messages
1,659
Depending on the issue surrounding it, if someone says or does something awkward I usually try to downplay the situation to make it less awkward for them because, well, I know - been there, done that.

If it's me, well, it depends on how awkward it is. I say a lot of weird shit quite often, so awkward situations are pretty much inevitable for me. If I made a total fool out of myself, I'd probably die of embarrassment and try to find an escape route ASAP. The unfortunate event then usually gets stuck replaying in my mind like a broken record player for days, weeks, even sometimes months on end. I have to figure out ways to distract myself from overfixating on the situation because unfortunately it's not easy for me to just let go and move on for some damn reason. I still have memories from the past that haunt me to this day, usually randomly when introspecting. Fortunately, I find it helps to focus on activities that are meaningful to me and also comedic content in order to shift gears.
 

Lord Lavender

Bluered Trickster
Joined
Oct 21, 2016
Messages
5,851
MBTI Type
EVLF
Enneagram
739
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
If I am in a social group and someone says or does something awkward I will typically make a joke or suggest some new idea to distract from their action and help said person avoid humiliation and embarrassment then when we can be alone together I will explain what they did and why it was awkward. If it is me being awkward (A lot of my awkwardness comes from not thinking before I speak and accidentally making some joke that is personally offensive to a person present (Think Bing from Friends and you will get a good idea of my awkward moments :blush:) I will if I can do so change the topic very quickly to distract from what I said or if they confront me about it apologize and move on.
 

magpie

Permabanned
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
3,428
Enneagram
614
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The easiest way to navigate any social situation is to put your attention entirely on the other person as almost a neutral observer of them, their reactions, their vibe, and their body language. I like to observe how a conversational partner responds to awkward situations as a form of information gathering. It also has the benefit of distancing me from my own potential reaction of embarrassment.

The good thing about awkward situations is that they're not awkward if you don't find them awkward, and not finding them awkward can make the other person or people not find them awkward either. Making eye contact during silences usually causes smiling and laughing and it's fun to bond through that.
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2016
Messages
1,659
The good thing about awkward situations is that they're not awkward if you don't find them awkward, and not finding them awkward can make the other person or people not find them awkward either. Making eye contact during silences usually causes smiling and laughing and it's fun to bond through that.

True. Perception becomes reality in this case.
 

Lead Guitar Wankery

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
96
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I think I tend to not notice things that other people would consider socially awkward, at least not the subtler things. I have a few eccentricities that I tend to worry about (not because they bother me but because they may bother others), and they probably block out other awkward things I may be doing, but I'm making my peace with all of it.

Other people being awkward doesn't bother me, in fact, I would probably never even think of others' actions in those terms if I wasn't aware that other people do so. When I consciously think of situations as awkward, it's in terms of other people seeing the situation as awkward, not me.

Social embarrassment doesn't affect my self-esteem, even when I'm the one who said or did whatever was considered awkward. Social awkwardness is something that can only exist in the context of two or more people; no one is socially awkward while alone. Since it depends on other people, and my self-esteem is about me only, social awkwardness doesn't factor into my self-esteem.

I love your avatar.
 

Krys

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2017
Messages
39
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
If I made a total fool out of myself, I'd probably die of embarrassment and try to find an escape route ASAP. The unfortunate event then usually gets stuck replaying in my mind like a broken record player for days, weeks, even sometimes months on end. I have to figure out ways to distract myself from overfixating on the situation because unfortunately it's not easy for me to just let go and move on for some damn reason. I still have memories from the past that haunt me to this day, usually randomly when introspecting. Fortunately, I find it helps to focus on activities that are meaningful to me and also comedic content in order to shift gears.

oh god, this happens to me too. ONE blunder, and it'll continue to pop up randomly in my mind for the rest of my life. Or you know, the next few months depending. Though if it was really embarrassing then, yes probably for the rest of my life. I hate this, because remembering other things is sometimes impossible, but not that one thing that happened five years! No that, that i do remember with IMAX level clarity.

Overfixating sucks, doesn't it?
 

Krys

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2017
Messages
39
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
The way I found to deal with this is think a lot before saying anything, still, from time to time this kind of thing still happens.

I reeally try to do this too. But most of the time, I think as i'm speaking so it's actually kinda difficult for me, and like you said, it can still backfire.
 

Krys

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2017
Messages
39
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I didn't expect that, given that you are an introvert.

it's the Aux Ne, I believe. Whenever I'm discussing an idea or a theory, speaking out loud is how i generate connections, build on what the other person is saying, etc. I should probably add that I do also often pause as I'm speaking, but this is usually if someone is asking me how I feel about something. I'm quite certain than I'm an introvert, specifically an INFP. Although the possibility does exist that i've mistyped myself. It's happened before.
 

Sacrophagus

Mastermind Fieldmarshal
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
1,702
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
854
Back at the family's house, I went upstairs to take a cold shower. I left the door open to enjoy the gentle caresses of the wind. Suddenly, a family relative is standing there, watching, frozen in time like a paused frame of some movie. A horror movie.
I could tell she felt the need to check since it's unusual for someone to take a cold shower and leave the door open. Obviously, she just assumed someone left the waters running.
Petrified, excited, triggered, her eyes were on my junk during seconds which seemed like forever, as I'm smiling at her with a sardonic grin and flirty eyes. Now that it has come to this, you can't unsee the lust of a mature woman as she literally bites her lips and opens widely her eyes.
Without a care in the world, I carried on showering, tempted to ask her to join me. I chose to ask her to snap out of it and watched her shuffle in a run of shame. "I'm a sick bastard.", I thought. "She's my sister."
 

Krys

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2017
Messages
39
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I like how you put family relative first so that it builds suspense
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
I politely ignore the social awkwardness of others unless it's people I know well, in which case I will tease them about it in a good natured way. Friends and people I know well will generally do the same to me-- tease me if something happens.

In general, I rarely have issues with social awkwardness, though.
 

CitizenErased

Clean Slate
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
552
It really depends on the situation. I can distinguish two kinds:

A) When I'm exposed as an idiot
(example: Three friends were celebrating that they had their birthdays the same day; I knew two of them and I knew the third one was called Lucas. I brought simple gifts for the three of them. Once at the party, one of the hosts introduced me to "Lucas", so I gave him the gift, and he replied: "Thanks, but I'm not the one of the birthday").

In these cases, I follow the same routine:

1. Smile liKe the Joker or laugh like an insane person
2. Turn away
3. Hide in the darkest corner of the room/leave the building
4. Dream of it years after the event and feel like slapping myself really hard

B) When I'm exposed as an asshole (example: I was at a very important party with some friends and a pregnant woman came to talk to us, and somehow my brain thought it would be a good idea to make an abortion joke... turns out it wasn't a good idea).

In these cases, this is the kind of conversation I have with my brain and my conscience:

(6 weeks after the event)

Conscience: don't you think it was bad to tell that joke?
Me: (while brushing my teeth) nope?
Brain: independently of the context, it was an awesome joke
Me: then it's settled, that woman doesn't have a sense of humor
Conscience: But...
Me and Brain: SHHHHHHH
 
Top