Conflict with an ESFP

[frustratedcow]

So I'm a female INFP that had a conflict with a male ESFP. As you all know, ESFPs are not good with being serious or being confronted so they tend to run away from the problem. INFPs also tend to ignore conflict. But I want to reconcile with him so bad but the problem is, it was his fault! I don't see why I should apologize. From what I heard, ESFPs never ever want to apologize first. If this is true, then what should I do? He's the best friend I ever had and I don't want to lose him

 

[treetophideaway]

Just be honest with him would be the practical thing. Younmay have to make the first move toward reconcilliation. I'm an ISFP or ESFP (not completely sure which is definitely me). What you said about not wanting to be confronted and avoiding conflict is most likely accurate so I would try to reach out to him and just be honest. I'm not sure about the unwillingness to apologize though. If you matter to him, he should be willing to reconcile, but he might not be able to take the first step. If he matters as much to you as you say he does, do you really need him to apologize to you? I would just reach out and take the first step. He might be too afraid to because he doesn't want to fight again. If it were me I would say something along the lines of "hey I'm sorry we had this conflict; let's try not to go there again; it's in the past now so let's move forward and not dwell on it anymore."

 

[Population: 1]

This is your second thread about this issue. Not a complaint, just an observation. It's obvious this incident is weighing heavily on you. You really need to discuss this with him. You may come away from the situation without a renewal of friendship but hopefully you'll have some sense of closure. The alternative is to wonder, possibly for the rest of your days, whether he felt remorse at his actions or sadness over the loss of your friendship. I think it's worth some discomfort to hash this out rather than spend who knows how much time pondering the what ifs. Pondering the what ifs is our thing as INFPs and hundreds of scenarios probable and improbable will play out in our heads. At some point though those musings need to be replaced by action because only through action will we truly bring about a result. If this dilemma is left unattended for too long you'll be left with nothing but regret. I wish you luck.