rainydaichick
New member
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2016
- Messages
- 4
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
Since you say the problem is you don't really understand what an INFP is like besides the stereotypes as I'm going to go at this from a different angle, and just give you a little insight into me, an INFP.
I've always been big on doing my own thing, what I like, whether or not it's popular. This made me a bit of an outcast at school, as I didn't fit in with either the outcasts or the normal kids. I would be listening to boy bands with my blue hair and piercings if that clears things up a bit for you. The types who had the funky hair and piercings weren't listening to the boy bands and vice versa. My motto? "Disliking something because it's popular is just as stupid as liking something because it's popular"
People who don't know me well either think I am friendly but shy, or cold and intimidating. The latter happens more so in large social groups. I am definitely not mistyped. I don't do well in large social groups, and many people tell me I'm difficult to get to know which is not my intention I just don't open up unless it feels right. Alternately someone who makes me comfortable can get me one on one and get my life story the first night, and hear all the crazy that goes on in my head. From "every time I go into thick fog I kind of secretly feel like I'm about to emerge into another world" to yes, I have days where I am basically a suicidal emo, but important note, as an I, unless you know me EXTREMELY well the odds of you ever finding out I feel like a suicidal emo are slim to none. Even if I let you know I'm down there's a good chance I will not let you know the depth of it.
As a teenager I did the stereotypical writing a lot of angsty poetry. That's because as an INFP I'm always trying to work through my feelings, the painful feelings are probably the hardest to work through, and getting them out in writing is a lot easier than verbally expressing them to anyone. I also wrote love songs and short stories though, it's all the feelings, it's not all dark. I always wanted to write but never had the self confidence to do so, I just didn't believe it was possible for me to actually make some sort of career out of it. I'm almost 30 now and I've finally gained the confidence to start writing again. The self doubt is also unfortunately stereotypical of an INFP.
My best friend is an INTJ. We share a dark sense of humor, and we admire one another's differences. She does things like encourages me to take actions when needed. On the rare occasion she needs it, I help her sort through her emotions. Unlike some other F's in her life I don't actually pry into them and TRY to get her to share, she's actually told me she doesn't understand how/why she opens up to me and has called it sorcery. Because of our mutual N it's not unusual for us to have random conversations about things like the zombie apocalypse, here are a couple examples of conversations we've had.
INTJ: "I thought about my grandmother today and cried. It was awful. I feel so drained, and exhausted. I hate when my emotions sneak up on me, they need to go back down in their box where they belong!"
INFP: "You know how you text me after you balance your checkbook telling me how happy you feel? Like it soothes you, and you feel all peaceful and content and like your world is in order and things feel sorted out?"
INTJ: "....yes?"
INFP "That's basically how I feel after a really good cry."
INTJ: "WHAT? That's basically witchcraft."
INFP: "hahaha to be fair that's pretty much how I feel about you and your checkbook balancing."
INTJ: "I do not understand your superpower, but I respect it."
INTJ: "You're allowed on the survival team"
INFP: "I appreciate it, I don't know how good I'll be at killing things but I promise not to do stupid shit to get us killed. If I trip I know you'll leave me, I understand."
INTJ: "You understanding me is part of why you're allowed. Also, once humanity has started to die out we will find an abandoned city to take over. I'll need you to reign me in as a leader, keep me appearing human to everyone, tell me things like 'we can't kill them, they're children.'"
INFP: "I am totally ok with you being leader because I do not want to do that at all. You can make all the hard choices and decisions, but I can totally do things like talking you out of killing children
"
INTJ: "You will keep the people from rebelling against me. You will make them feel listened to and cared about while I plan what is actually best for everyone."
INFP: "*laughing* sounds like a plan. I can do that. You keep us alive and well. I will listen to people and deal with their feels."
The problem with stereotypes is even if they're dead on they don't tell the whole story. I am absolutely a hopeless romantic. I believe in soulmates. I also have a sense of humor and I like talking about things in theory as an N as I said, so my "hopeless romantic" may show up as me pining after someone I barely know imagining our entire life together, but it can also show up as "hey so, believe with me for a moment that soulmates are in fact a real thing, can you imagine how much it messes everything up when someone settles for less? Marries the wrong person because they get impatient? It would cause this whole domino affect. You're already married when you finally meet the person you're actually meant to be with. Maybe because of your morals or loyalty you stay in your marriage, therefor not only screwing over your soulmate but also your husbands soulmate, now your soulmate and your husbands also end up marrying the wrong people causing this whole long chain of everyone being with the wrong person, all because people don't believe in true love and wait for it, we hurt ourselves." My INTJ found this rant hilarious because she viewed it as "There is true love and you people are all too stupid to figure out the plan!"
I know I'm not a mistyped E because I'd NEVER talk like that in a group gathering in person, but I do get like that 1 on 1 with people. Online is different, because it's not everyone verbally speaking and you don't end up with ten pairs of eyes on you if you do get people's attention. Typical INFP, I often feel talked over or ignored so I stay quiet, but honestly that's not a complaint because being the center of attention would be far more uncomfortable. It's also in writing here which makes it easier for me to express myself.
My ENFP friend (I'm actually going to focus on 1 of the 3, though my relationships with all are similar) says that I "get them" in a freaky way, but they also say I bring a "calming balance" to them. I love my ENFP friend because they tend to drag me far OUT of the suicidal emo place when I'm feeling down, his high energy and bouncing from topics keeps me engaged and out of my own head for once. I understand there are a lot of similarities between the types, but I also think looking at us you can very easily tell which is which. Remember that the types are based on your natural preferences as opposed to learned behaviors, an introvert can teach themselves to be more extroverted as part of self growth, they can become more in tune with their lower functions and focus on nurturing them, your type is based off your natural tendencies and where you fall back into in a default state, not who you are as a whole.
I hope that gives you a little insight into what an INFP can be like, though I'm very much guided by how I feel and I do feel all feel all the feels deeply and often, infp's lead with introverted feeling so even if we're close you actually seeing the depth of that is iffy. More likely you'll see a quiet, surface friendly person with a unique sense of style who is yes, very non confrontational and generally nice to people. Quiet in groups but can open up one on one when you may see someone who can appear a bit more like an ENFP. The big difference between me and my ENFP friend is that after all that socializing and being out there with him, I want to retreat quietly into a book or some writing, listen to music alone in my room. His room is bare, I have a canopy and lights over my bed, speakers set up for music, candles everywhere, a blue wall, art supplies, journals, books, my alone space is my sanctuary, his is where he gets bored.
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I've always been big on doing my own thing, what I like, whether or not it's popular. This made me a bit of an outcast at school, as I didn't fit in with either the outcasts or the normal kids. I would be listening to boy bands with my blue hair and piercings if that clears things up a bit for you. The types who had the funky hair and piercings weren't listening to the boy bands and vice versa. My motto? "Disliking something because it's popular is just as stupid as liking something because it's popular"
People who don't know me well either think I am friendly but shy, or cold and intimidating. The latter happens more so in large social groups. I am definitely not mistyped. I don't do well in large social groups, and many people tell me I'm difficult to get to know which is not my intention I just don't open up unless it feels right. Alternately someone who makes me comfortable can get me one on one and get my life story the first night, and hear all the crazy that goes on in my head. From "every time I go into thick fog I kind of secretly feel like I'm about to emerge into another world" to yes, I have days where I am basically a suicidal emo, but important note, as an I, unless you know me EXTREMELY well the odds of you ever finding out I feel like a suicidal emo are slim to none. Even if I let you know I'm down there's a good chance I will not let you know the depth of it.
As a teenager I did the stereotypical writing a lot of angsty poetry. That's because as an INFP I'm always trying to work through my feelings, the painful feelings are probably the hardest to work through, and getting them out in writing is a lot easier than verbally expressing them to anyone. I also wrote love songs and short stories though, it's all the feelings, it's not all dark. I always wanted to write but never had the self confidence to do so, I just didn't believe it was possible for me to actually make some sort of career out of it. I'm almost 30 now and I've finally gained the confidence to start writing again. The self doubt is also unfortunately stereotypical of an INFP.
My best friend is an INTJ. We share a dark sense of humor, and we admire one another's differences. She does things like encourages me to take actions when needed. On the rare occasion she needs it, I help her sort through her emotions. Unlike some other F's in her life I don't actually pry into them and TRY to get her to share, she's actually told me she doesn't understand how/why she opens up to me and has called it sorcery. Because of our mutual N it's not unusual for us to have random conversations about things like the zombie apocalypse, here are a couple examples of conversations we've had.
INTJ: "I thought about my grandmother today and cried. It was awful. I feel so drained, and exhausted. I hate when my emotions sneak up on me, they need to go back down in their box where they belong!"
INFP: "You know how you text me after you balance your checkbook telling me how happy you feel? Like it soothes you, and you feel all peaceful and content and like your world is in order and things feel sorted out?"
INTJ: "....yes?"
INFP "That's basically how I feel after a really good cry."
INTJ: "WHAT? That's basically witchcraft."
INFP: "hahaha to be fair that's pretty much how I feel about you and your checkbook balancing."
INTJ: "I do not understand your superpower, but I respect it."
INTJ: "You're allowed on the survival team"
INFP: "I appreciate it, I don't know how good I'll be at killing things but I promise not to do stupid shit to get us killed. If I trip I know you'll leave me, I understand."
INTJ: "You understanding me is part of why you're allowed. Also, once humanity has started to die out we will find an abandoned city to take over. I'll need you to reign me in as a leader, keep me appearing human to everyone, tell me things like 'we can't kill them, they're children.'"
INFP: "I am totally ok with you being leader because I do not want to do that at all. You can make all the hard choices and decisions, but I can totally do things like talking you out of killing children
"INTJ: "You will keep the people from rebelling against me. You will make them feel listened to and cared about while I plan what is actually best for everyone."
INFP: "*laughing* sounds like a plan. I can do that. You keep us alive and well. I will listen to people and deal with their feels."
The problem with stereotypes is even if they're dead on they don't tell the whole story. I am absolutely a hopeless romantic. I believe in soulmates. I also have a sense of humor and I like talking about things in theory as an N as I said, so my "hopeless romantic" may show up as me pining after someone I barely know imagining our entire life together, but it can also show up as "hey so, believe with me for a moment that soulmates are in fact a real thing, can you imagine how much it messes everything up when someone settles for less? Marries the wrong person because they get impatient? It would cause this whole domino affect. You're already married when you finally meet the person you're actually meant to be with. Maybe because of your morals or loyalty you stay in your marriage, therefor not only screwing over your soulmate but also your husbands soulmate, now your soulmate and your husbands also end up marrying the wrong people causing this whole long chain of everyone being with the wrong person, all because people don't believe in true love and wait for it, we hurt ourselves." My INTJ found this rant hilarious because she viewed it as "There is true love and you people are all too stupid to figure out the plan!"
I know I'm not a mistyped E because I'd NEVER talk like that in a group gathering in person, but I do get like that 1 on 1 with people. Online is different, because it's not everyone verbally speaking and you don't end up with ten pairs of eyes on you if you do get people's attention. Typical INFP, I often feel talked over or ignored so I stay quiet, but honestly that's not a complaint because being the center of attention would be far more uncomfortable. It's also in writing here which makes it easier for me to express myself.
My ENFP friend (I'm actually going to focus on 1 of the 3, though my relationships with all are similar) says that I "get them" in a freaky way, but they also say I bring a "calming balance" to them. I love my ENFP friend because they tend to drag me far OUT of the suicidal emo place when I'm feeling down, his high energy and bouncing from topics keeps me engaged and out of my own head for once. I understand there are a lot of similarities between the types, but I also think looking at us you can very easily tell which is which. Remember that the types are based on your natural preferences as opposed to learned behaviors, an introvert can teach themselves to be more extroverted as part of self growth, they can become more in tune with their lower functions and focus on nurturing them, your type is based off your natural tendencies and where you fall back into in a default state, not who you are as a whole.
I hope that gives you a little insight into what an INFP can be like, though I'm very much guided by how I feel and I do feel all feel all the feels deeply and often, infp's lead with introverted feeling so even if we're close you actually seeing the depth of that is iffy. More likely you'll see a quiet, surface friendly person with a unique sense of style who is yes, very non confrontational and generally nice to people. Quiet in groups but can open up one on one when you may see someone who can appear a bit more like an ENFP. The big difference between me and my ENFP friend is that after all that socializing and being out there with him, I want to retreat quietly into a book or some writing, listen to music alone in my room. His room is bare, I have a canopy and lights over my bed, speakers set up for music, candles everywhere, a blue wall, art supplies, journals, books, my alone space is my sanctuary, his is where he gets bored.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
