[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Fe types - What are you hiding?!

[Mal12345]

I have also noticed that the stronger someone's Fe is the less authentic they tend to be. Which roughly translates into honesty. My sample pool is probably not the healthiest, but then again it's pretty rare for me to encounter what I'd consider a healthy individual of any type, mentally. All the strong Fe users I know- an ESFJ, several ENFJs, and several INFJs are about as trustworthy as a TV lawyer. They rely on a combination of force and manipulation to survive in the world, and I'm finally to the point where I can see through the bullshit web they spin without even trying to. It's just who they are. Every type has its faults. Though I suspect most of the problems I have with them stem more from ego and anger issues than Fe exactly. The Fe just helps make their problems my problem.

Thank you for the support. I realize the Feelers will take everything I said in the OP personally because that's what Feelers do. There is, as you said, also a kind of dishonesty which I would call a disingenuous false front. I propose that Hillary Clinton is an ESFJ type, although the forum poll doesn't think so. I voted ESFJ for Hillary on that poll because she reminds me of every ESFJ I've ever known, right down to the body type if one considers that valid evidence.

 

[Yama]

It's a good thing I don't judge all INTPs as being the same as my INTP sister, because that wouldn't put any of them in a good light. Why, then, do people always judge all SFJs based off of their mom/grandma (or in this case, your dad who you seem to have problems with)?

The only lies I've told myself are lies that all depressed people tell themselves, which isn't type related. I don't call every INTP an inconsiderate asshole just because I know one INTP who is that way. You really don't have a large enough sample size to make this kind of assumption. How do you even know that what your'e perceiving as fakeness isn't totally genuine in the FJ's eyes?

 

[Mal12345]

It's a good thing I don't judge all INTPs as being the same as my INTP sister, because that wouldn't put any of them in a good light. Why, then, do people always judge all SFJs based off of their mom/grandma (or in this case, your dad who you seem to have problems with)?

The only lies I've told myself are lies that all depressed people tell themselves, which isn't type related. I don't call every INTP an inconsiderate asshole just because I know one INTP who is that way. You really don't have a large enough sample size to make this kind of assumption. How do you even know that what your'e perceiving as fakeness isn't totally genuine in the FJ's eyes?

I'm not judging anybody. I'm saying you're hiding something about yourself that is not socially acceptable. It could be something as harmless as a desire.

 

[Yama]

I'm not judging anybody. I'm saying you're hiding something about yourself that is not socially acceptable. It could be something as harmless as a desire.

I'm really not though... I'm even open about my gender dysphoria.

It might be true of some/immature FJs but it can't be attributed to someone merely because they are FJ.

 

[Poki]

to self...thats all i got

 

[Tilt]

Basically everyone does?

 

[Bush]

Thank Christ that Fe-terts and inferiors are somehow immune

 

[Norrsken]

Who hurt you? ):

 

[Ghost]

That guy's face is so creepy. He must be an FJ because science.

 

[Norrsken]

xD

 

[Yama]

That guy's face is so creepy. He must be an FJ because science.

Can confirm. That's what my face looks like.

 

[Norrsken]

Gettin' kind of tired of having so many posters saying that Fe users are nothing but a bunch of no good liars. Like how is being friendly to others a lie?

 

[Bush]

Gettin' kind of tired of having so many posters saying that Fe users are nothing but a bunch of no good liars. Like how is being friendly to others a lie?

Because nobody is actually friendly. In reality, everybody is out to get everybody else. Charity is a lie. Did you know that the human face isn't actually designed to smile? That means that every smile is fake.

 

[Norrsken]

Because nobody is actually friendly. In reality, everybody is out to get everybody else. Charity is a lie. Did you know that the human face isn't actually designed to smile? That means that every smile is fake.

Well, I did read somewhere once that monkeys and chimpanzees tend to only smile when they feel danger and want to appear submissive to another animal in their presence. That's what I do when I am perpetually triggered by another person.. I just smile and hope they go away without touching my fruits.

 

[Pionart]

Gettin' kind of tired of having so many posters saying that Fe users are nothing but a bunch of no good liars. Like how is being friendly to others a lie?

Well, it is if it causes you to tell a lie. I mean, how can there even be such thing as a "white lie"? If you tell someone a falsity to "spare" their feelings you are actually only hurting them and sparing your own feelings.

In saying that, I completely agree that this stereotype about Fe types is damaging. It has led me to start questioning the legitimacy of every nice thing FJs say to me (not literally every nice thing, by the way, just a lot of it) because then I will think maybe they were giving me false information out of belief that it would help the situation at the time that they were saying it.

A truly honest FJ type is something amazing in my eyes, because it reinforces the qualities in the person that truly are positive, and makes one aware of when one is crossing the line with other people.

 

[Norrsken]

Well, it is if it causes you to tell a lie. I mean, how can there even be such thing as a "white lie"? If you tell someone a falsity to "spare" their feelings you are actually only hurting them and sparing your own feelings.

In saying that, I completely agree that this stereotype about Fe types is damaging. It has led me to start questioning the legitimacy of every nice thing FJs say to me (not literally every nice thing, by the way, just a lot of it) because then I will think maybe they were giving me false information out of belief that it would help the situation at the time that they were saying it.

A truly honest FJ type is something amazing in my eyes, because it reinforces the qualities in the person that truly are positive, and makes one aware of when one is crossing the line with other people.

Truth isn't always this cold, emotionless and hurtful vessel. Sometimes, it lifts and heals other people and make people feel better. Maybe I do like the person I'm looking at; how is it, then, a lie if I tell them they are an amazing person when that's pretty much the truth? What is even the truth, anyway? Many a times, some people stating things that they think is the truth is actually just an opinion.

The sky is blue = Truth
'The sky is beautiful' = Truthful opinion
'The sky sucks' = Truthful, yet rudely stated, opinion

People lie. That's also truthful. But not everybody lies for the sake of it, and not every Fe user is a lying sociopath who only smiles just to get something out of somebody else. It's so sad that we've reached a point in history that anybody who is outwardly rude and callous and 'brutally honest' to the point of driving others to tears is somehow more legitimate than a friendly person who enjoys lifting other people through kind social gestures.

 

[Pionart]

Truth isn't always this cold, emotionless and hurtful vessel. Sometimes, it lifts and heals other people and make people feel better. Maybe I do like the person I'm looking at; how is it, then, a lie if I tell them they are an amazing person when that's pretty much the truth? What is even the truth, anyway? Many a times, some people stating things that they think is the truth is actually just an opinion.

The sky is blue = Truth
'The sky is beautiful' = Truthful opinion
'The sky sucks' = Truthful, yet rudely stated, opinion

People lie. That's also truthful. But not everybody lies for the sake of it, and not every Fe user is a lying sociopath who only smiles just to get something out of somebody else. It's so sad that we've reached a point in history that anybody who is outwardly rude and callous and 'brutally honest' to the point of driving others to tears is somehow more legitimate than a friendly person who enjoys lifting other people through kind social gestures.

I've personally taken on the habit of just tending to assume what everyone says is true.

Yes, it does get me into some trouble because I believe things even if they are a lie, but on the other hand, it means that the liar gets put into somewhat of a merry-go-round trying to keep up with the original lie they told... hehe

 

[Mal12345]

Everybody is hiding something. I didn't specify lying in the thread title. I'm talking about the Fe-specific form of hiding something which is to try to put something over on themselves/others in the form of living a lie, inauthenticity, appearances, and empty social forms.

 

[Yama]

Everybody is hiding something. I didn't specify lying in the thread title. I'm talking about the Fe-specific form of hiding something which is to try to put something over on themselves/others in the form of living a lie, inauthenticity, appearances, and empty social forms.

How many times do I have to say that I'm not living a lie, being inauthentic and presenting a fake me to others for the sake of social conformity before you actually believe that I know myself best lol? Just because your dad or whatever other FJs you know did this doesn't mean all FJs are like that. I definitely see ways that I could live my life "as a lie," which is actually what the majority of society would want me to do. By being myself in that aspect I'm actually going against the grain to be true to myself. :/

 

[Yama]

Threads like these are exactly why I sometimes get upset and rip my type listing out of my profile. Because no matter how many times I deny that some FJ or SJ stereotype doesn't apply to me, people go, "Yes they are! I know you better than you know you!" And I don't want people to look at me and shove their stereotypes and biases down my throat because I'm a specific type. It's bad enough that people think SJs all have sticks up their asses, and we've already got the Fe hivemind. It rubs my 4 fix the wrong way to be called inauthentic when that's the opposite of how I operate, and especially to be accused of it repeatedly with no evidence to back it up after I deny it. There aren't enough FJs on this damn forum to defend ourselves so yeah, I am taking this personally.

Of course everyone has secrets. Everyone hides something. I have a chronic health problem that I refuse to tell anyone the details about, but that's pretty much the only thing I can think of. Even then, I'm open to admitting that there's a problem at all. I don't have some fucking deep dark socially unacceptable secret. I'm not a drunk who beats his family or something and I dislike having such images projected onto me because "maybe it's not that exactly, but you're hiding something similar!!!" No. I'm not.