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How Do You Process Emotions?

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
4,602
I just live. Is the OP asking if I analyze all of my emotions like some kind of computer?
 

Puffypolma

Bizarre Love Triangle
Joined
Feb 9, 2016
Messages
169
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
496
I really don't know how I process them. I think I am usually very much aware of them but would not intentionally analyze them, like label them into different categories such as "happy", "sad", "depressed" etc. There were times when I just wanted to shake of my emotions because they affect me negatively, so I'd just ignore them and do something to distract myself. I don't like dwelling on negative emotions. Who does?
 

Haven

Blind Guardian
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
1,075
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I dunno if I process them as much as I channel them into something else. I could be sitting there on standby until someone comes and starts emoting all over and I'm like i no rite? and then we're suddenly organising mob justice, grab those pitchforks everyone! On better days I can get a handle on it and redirect our feelings to something more constructive. It's quite draining though.
 

MisterNi

Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
169
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
739
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Is there a difference in how the various personality types process their emotions. I'm not getting into the mud of who feels more than others. We're all human, we all feel emotions just the same. But how do you process that emotional data? To some, emotions can be this vague territory that is unknown or irrational, to others, it is the lifeblood through which all decisions are made and interpreted.

Not only am I interested in seeing how the various types perceive their emotions, and the emotions of others, but I wonder if the various function dynamics sift through emotions differently as well. Dig deep people, really deep. Analyze that thought process of yours. Let's talk about them feels :happy2:

I understand my emotions quite well and can rationalize them easily. These days I simply bury my sadness under a facade of happiness and carelessness then when I'm in private I let my true inner state out. Otherwise I'm just a normal person who doesn't really care about things that don't affect me and I live my life to the best of my abilities. It's difficult to actually care about others when a person needs to legit hustle just to afford the most basic necessities in life; although that is of course never true about family... family always comes first.
 

Virgo1987

New member
Joined
Jun 24, 2016
Messages
144
MBTI Type
Infp
Music. I tend to throw my headphones on and process them. If I can't have access to music at the time that the emotions start, I just think about things that happened in my life that provoked the same emotions and remember (or try to remember how I dealt with them. Now that everything can be googled, I try to google around a bit. If I find something interesting to how I'm feeling about my emotions or it jumps out at me, I'll stick around and read some more. If not, I'll go back to music.

I never process them out loud unless it's a big deal to me. Then I'll mention it to a few friends or sometimes my parents even at this age.

Sometimes I vent when it all becomes too much, but that doesn't always happen.

Creating helps me process a great deal (but with creating comes music playing as well). So I kind of cope with my emotions through these two art forms. I'm under the impression that not a lot of people truly understand me and some of the people I'm around actually have told me they don't, so the last thing I want to do is vent to them -- so I just keep it to myself. Some people say that's no good, but honestly, sometimes it's better to just keep things to yourself and process them on your own time.

At the same time I take pride in doing things for myself -- not sure where that comes from, maybe being stubborn so the more I can process alone the more strength I think I gain from it.
 

phoenix31

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2015
Messages
290
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
I usually want to talk to someone right away if I have a strong emotion, and bouncing it off another person helps me process.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

MyCupOfTea

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
138
MBTI Type
INxP
I'm not sure what to say other than I pay attention to all my emotions, because they tell me something valuable.

I learn more about myself when I pay attention. What are more fleeting/temporary? What triggered them? How do my perceptions change and warp based on my current emotional state? How do I perceive others while in a certain emotional state?

With the ones that keep returning, I dig into them. How do I address the feeling/concern? What does it mean, the fact I'm having X emotion? That might take a long while.

It all happens internally, basically. Though I'll share deeper rooted emotions with friends - ie feelings that last / what I'm contemplating due to having them. I'll also share immediate thoughts, like with coworkers, if I'm just making a short one-off rant/commentary/frustration.

I can relate to this almost 100%. Analyzing feelings helps me think more clearly. I also analyze my thoughts, but it's difficult for me to take them apart from analyzing feelings as well. Doing this is my safe haven, where I get my energy from.

This is the reason why I get so uncomfortable and irritated when someone asks how I'm feeling about something immediately. I really need to step back and think about it first before I can or want to share. After I've done that, I'm usually happy to share my thoughts (not necessarily exact feelings) to get some insight.
 

MyCupOfTea

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
138
MBTI Type
INxP
I sort of... don't. I use logic to rationalize them away? :shrug:

How do you manage to do that successfully? I do the same sometimes when I'm stressed but I think it just keeps adding my stress and the feelings happen to find their way out eventually - usually out of control explosion is the result...
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
How do you manage to do that successfully? I do the same sometimes when I'm stressed but I think it just keeps adding my stress and the feelings happen to find their way out eventually - usually out of control explosion is the result...

Oh I still have a lot of emotions that stress me out. If I feel something and there are no thoughts associated with it, I can't do anything about it. I can only do something about it if it's grounded in reality.

I can't easily explain how I do it. I sort of think of the events that lead up to the feeling, if the feeling I have is productive or not, and if it isn't I will push it out in some manner by focusing on something else, or accepting it for what the situation is, and the feeling can be ignored (it might still be there but it's ignorable).
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I usually have an initial feeling but have to wait till it settles out a bit. Then as I talk about it I kind of figure out what is the root of what's bothering me. I can only deal with what bubbles up to the surface at that time so often need to revisit it several times before the feelings dissipate. I often don't know just how bothered I am by something till I start expressing it aloud. When I deal with things alone, I tend to try to talk myself out of the feelings I have or rationalize them away. I'm learning that doing that produces a generalized anxiety or else results in it all gushing out at once at inopportune times when there get too be too many little things stuffed away. I do need distance from my emotions before I am able to understand what's going on though. Almost like I'm looking at it as an outside observer.
 

EmotionLessGirl333

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2016
Messages
5
Not trying to over generalize here, but as a TJ, I must admit I am a little jealous of how INFJs tend to process their emotions. They seem to be very Emotionally Intelligent and often use their emotions when making choices; yet it isn't based entirely on their own feelings. They assess the personal needs of those around them and work accordingly. I know INFJs aren't lierally mind readers but I would agree with the majority that they can easily understand the feelings and deeper needs of others, often without having to ask. I have a hard time with that. I mean; I feel very deeply for my loved ones but when I "know" how to protect them, I hold to that belief firmly and can't let go. No one can convince me otherwise and on the outside it appears that I am cold hearted. My feelings are more evident in my actions though this is hard for others to see. INFJs I know can talk through their feelings and process them with others (though often only to those close to them) while I naturally hold my feelings in and find it hard to express them. I think my feelings, if I let them out, would simply make it worse for others.

I know INFJs are complex, with their own deep problems, but I am amazed at their overall emotional inteligence and wish I could similiarily express my emotions in a healthier way.
 

Lillita

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2016
Messages
40
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
514
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Positive emotions, enjoy it. Negative emotions, I usually do housework while sorting out the reasons behind the emotions in connection with their cause, then formulate how to articulately and succinctly discuss/resolve the situation with whomever is involved. I can't talk when I'm angry or sad, but after the aforementioned process I'm back to even keel.
 

MisterNi

Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
169
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ENTJ
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sx/so
It seems that I didn't answer the question the first time around: How I process emotions... I don't really have emotions per se as I'm not actually an emotive person unless I'm pretending to be. I have moods that I'm in and how I feel toward other people but that pretty much remains constant and unchanging with few exceptions.

I suppose for positive emotions, I soak them in, feel good about myself then go back to my default neutral state but perhaps a bit happier throughout the day due to the positive environment. With negative emotions I'll either brush them off if it's unwarranted negativity and give them the cold shoulder but! if the negativity is legitimate and is what I would consider to be wise advice, then I will try to change the mood of the environment to better reflect reality that one can't always be positive and that realists exist for a reason.

This is why in a professional workplace, I tend to rise to the top of the ranks rather quickly; because I am almost always needed there to enact change for the good of all. I'm not bragging or trying to seem important, I'm saying how my work life usually happens.
 

ZNP-TBA

Privileged Sh!tlord
Joined
Jun 12, 2015
Messages
3,001
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7w8
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sx
Is there a difference in how the various personality types process their emotions. I'm not getting into the mud of who feels more than others. We're all human, we all feel emotions just the same. But how do you process that emotional data? To some, emotions can be this vague territory that is unknown or irrational, to others, it is the lifeblood through which all decisions are made and interpreted.

Not only am I interested in seeing how the various types perceive their emotions, and the emotions of others, but I wonder if the various function dynamics sift through emotions differently as well. Dig deep people, really deep. Analyze that thought process of yours. Let's talk about them feels :happy2:

Good question! I'm rather open with my emotions and I'm moderately emotive. If it's happiness or something orbiting happiness then its rather easy to share and even infect other people with it. When it's sadness or anger I'm more reserved. My 'instinct' is the 'shut out' the pain either by diversion/distraction or to make humor out of it. I believe this is a 7 thing as well.

Growing up I always had to be the 'strong' one. I grew up with an emotional family who would absorb and display their feelings without a filter. When my step-father recently passed away my mom was a mess ( she doesn't do well with loss at all) and I had to do a 'double eulogy' because she didn't have the constitution to speak in front of all those people. I hid my tears the best I could. Finally when I was brought to tears I quietly exited the room (before it was my turn to speak) and cried outside in solitude for a good few minutes. My mother begged me not to cry in front of her because the sight of me crying would overwhelm her senses. It was always like that with a lot of people I know. I just needed to grieve it out in order to speak clearly. Once I did that I was fine and when I delivered the eulogies I didn't write anything out for my part and just 'shot from the hip.' I added humor and funny anecdotes in there and even saw my step sisters crack some smiles in the midst of all the pain since their eulogies were so touching and...sad.
 

Smilephantomhive

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Aug 11, 2015
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6w5
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Is it safe to say that one of the defining traits of Fi is understanding your own feelings and Fe is needing to "see" your feelings externally? (not sure if I worded that properly but many people with Fe in their stack say they need to talk out their feelings to understand them).
 

cascadeco

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Oct 7, 2007
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9w1
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sp/sx
Is it safe to say that one of the defining traits of Fi is understanding your own feelings and Fe is need to "see" your feelings externally? (not sure if I worded that properly but many people with Fe in their stack say they need to talk out their feelings to understand them).

It seems to be a very common trend.
 

Forever

Permabanned
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Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
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NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
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sx/so
I listen to them and sit with it as if it were my friend and let it tell me its story.
 

Yama

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6w7
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Is it safe to say that one of the defining traits of Fi is understanding your own feelings and Fe is needing to "see" your feelings externally? (not sure if I worded that properly but many people with Fe in their stack say they need to talk out their feelings to understand them).

I don't know about Fi or other Fe users, but I'm more about understanding my feelings than expressing them. I can't stand expressing them physically, especially in front of other people. I was on the verge of tears in my therapy session the other day and the thought of crying in front of my therapist made me want to jump off a cliff.
 

CitizenErased

Clean Slate
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
552
You probably know what lactose intolerance is, right? Well, the same happens to me regarding emotions: I can't process them well. Probably because they are intended to be something somewhat irrational, and whenever I feel something that is not numbness, I feel nervous because I don't know what to do with the data I'm receiving. In fact, it's like my mind is blurry and I can't articulate ideas, thoughts, words.

Whenever I feel something, I try to quantify the amount of "feeling" I'm experiencing and compare it to previous experiences feeling that feeling. Then I try to analize why I'm feeling that way at that precise moment (i.e. trying to identify the source that triggered chaos inside me) and why the source triggered that specific emotion. Then I analize why I have the predisposition to feel that emotion given that specific trigger and if has always been the same or if it's been different before. And theeeen, I analize what the emotion is, if it's raw, pure X emotion or a combination of other emotions (and probably assign percentages to each component), and then I do all of the above with the feeling I have about feeling that way (how I feel about feeling that way).

Having emotions makes me isolate for a while so I can reflect, but most of the times I'm either a psycho that doesn't feel anything when crazy things happen or I freak out because I have to react quickly and I can't because I don't have enough time to organize my defragmented emotion bits in a way I can feel comfortable about it.

About other people's feelings, I'm very good at determining what they are, I'm like a Sherlock Holmes of hidden features, I read people very well just by analyzing the way they talk, move, their gestures, etc... unless those feelings are towards me. Then I'm basically blind. For me to do a good read, I need people to interact with other person that is not me. When I try to see what others' emotions are when they're talking to me, everyone is either too good or being sarcastic. I do not understand the "worried", "sad", "kindly trying to help", "just helping so you stop bothering", etc
 
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