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How Do You Process Emotions?

Smilephantomhive

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I don't know about Fi or other Fe users, but I'm more about understanding my feelings than expressing them. I can't stand expressing them physically, especially in front of other people. I was on the verge of tears in my therapy session the other day and the thought of crying in front of my therapist made me want to jump off a cliff.

Does writing them out or some other forms of external expression without people help you?
 
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
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625
I found the website I was thinking of:

SUPERFORMULA!

To me each emotion seems to have a shape or visualization associated with it, but unlike with something like synaesthesia these states are not unique per se, however they can be repeating. As the activities I do change they oscillate at different frequencies along the surface. So something smooth and continuous like riding a wave on a surfboard might be a low frequency wave and the shape wil appear more uniform on the surface and globular(?) but something that requires a lot of rapid change may seem very "spiky" and or discontinuous in the pattern. There is a "sweet spot" where the patterns tend to oscillate in terms of one another and I try to remain in that zone. The colors can change depending on the intensity and quality of the emotion.
 

Yama

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Does writing them out or some other forms of external expression without people help you?

Maybe. I think meditation works the best though, for working through unpleasant ones.
 

Mind Maverick

ENTP 8w7 845 Sp/Sx
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I like to use a little slice and dice action. Any volunteers for my demonstration?
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I feel them slow and deep. I analyze and make sense of my internal world and have an understanding of my internal cause-and-effects already, so once the emotion is identified, I can usually understand it. If it involves social interactions that are negative then I get caught into negative loops because it can't resolve when parts are unknown and outside of myself. Also, it takes me longer to know what I feel in social interactions because it takes a while to get a sense of what the other person means. I have a need to sort it through and put it to rest. If I create something, that seems to help resolve it.

An social example is that I was trying to make friends in a new place and found a group of older hippie ladies that would dance in the park. I got on their message list and would come. The leader was mostly only critiquing me, even though the others weren't getting the moves. I first assumed it was positive that she thought I could learn it, but the last time I went, she would mimic me in a very mocking way. I thought it didn't bother me because I didn't feel any real friendship connection, but then later when I was practicing I noticed my self-esteem was low. I don't like to admit she could affect me, but I believe in being honest with myself. Now I know I need to avoid people who mock me even if I don't expect any connection because they trigger feelings that I already have about myself from past experience that have nothing to do with them. For me emotional processing involves raw honesty and then making decisions to prevent the negative ones from happening.
 

LucieCat

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I tend to have trouble recognizing my emotions in the heat of the moment. I typically have to take some time to reflect and think through things. Talking about how I'm feeling also helps a lot.
 

bler

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Most of the time they just sit there and don't get processed too quickly, if at all. It takes time. But I find if the reason for my emotion is someone else, it's better for my own mental well-being to confront them rather than over-analyzing everything. Sometimes the self can do more damage than anyone else ever could. :(

Speaking of negative emotions of course.
 

Yuurei

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I don’t really.
I feel what I feel for a second before I remind myself that paying it any mind is a trap, it’s time that could be spent getting things done so I shake it off and move on to finding a solution.
 

Earl Grey

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Dry. It's like the emotions dry up quickly, especially under circumstances like discussing or thinking about something. I don't really have to shove it aside, it kinda auto-goes away. Having to induce it or think about it or remember it or 'feel' it is just generally exhausting and feels (ha) like sticking my hand through muck- why, just why? I've mostly been enlightened about others' (and even my own) emotional states via other people, because it's just... Something I don't notice.

These seem to be the most common and readily apparent trends that others notice of me;

It's something to be able to ignore emotions, but another thing in entirely to completely miss it. Sometimes I wonder about the merits on focusing on them, but it's like that one chore I keep putting off- I can probably do it, but at the same time I just want to toss it into the garage because it's too much of a hassle to figure out how it works and oil it up and understand it. I think most things in life do not need it, and I get by just fine, so that lessens my urgency/interest in delving into it. Typology does help me shed a light on them, though. It's a double edged sword because while it makes me objective, it also makes me too impersonal in situations that merit the other kind of thought processing.
 

Peter Deadpan

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My short answer is that I either overindulge in them or process them backwards mentally, as in a very linear "what am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling this? What was the trigger? Was the trigger related to a previous trauma? What can I do about this feeling?"

It's a bit odd that I don't have a lot of in-between. The in-between tends to feel a bit frustrating or bland, but I recognize that building upon that skill is a positive movement forward.
 

The Cat

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I do not understand the question...
 

rav3n

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Depends. It's rare that I don't understand my emotions and if it's convenient, allow them free reign and if it's inconvenient, set them aside to process later.
 

Obfuscate

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most often passively... i don't always notice at first or have a clear idea of what it is... well, outside of knowing it is good or bad that is... sometimes it is very clear right away.... if i have a clear idea of what the feeling is, sometimes it feels prudent to trace it to the source... other times it seems like a thing i should shove down or ignore until it is relevant or it won't interfere with what is happening... the more positive emotions tend to recieve less attention, and the more negative ones are slightly more likely to be dealt with later (if at all)...
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I know a lot about my internal world of emotions, what triggers emotions, the cause and effects of my emotions, my emotional history and how it affects me now, etc. I feel things slow and deep. Sometimes I will know what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, but that doesn't result in being able to stop it. Then I become an observer and experiencer at the same time, so my consciousness splits into two perspectives. The most extreme emotions tend to trigger this duality, which is helpful as a coping mechanism even though it is somewhat dissociative in nature.

What I struggle with emotionally has to do with external pressures and people. When people are confusing or hurtful, I can become anxious and go into internal loops to try to figure it out, but it becomes an endless obsessive loop because I don't have enough information - I don't have access to their internal world and it's relevant to the situation. Also, when I'm under pressure for school or work and I'd rather be doing my own projects, then I can become intensely depressed and anxious and get mildly drunk to complete the requirement.

Processing and understanding my emotions internally is an area of comfort and depth for me. I am very good at it and have taken the time to know that world. Interfacing my emotions with the outside world with it's pressures and confusion is harder for me because I feel trapped and also lack the information needed to resolve the problem.
 

The Cat

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I Compartmentalize them.
 

Meowcat

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Dry. It's like the emotions dry up quickly, especially under circumstances like discussing or thinking about something. I don't really have to shove it aside, it kinda auto-goes away. Having to induce it or think about it or remember it or 'feel' it is just generally exhausting and feels (ha) like sticking my hand through muck- why, just why? I've mostly been enlightened about others' (and even my own) emotional states via other people, because it's just... Something I don't notice.

Same. Though 1) I can't really even induce the emotions. 2) It doesn't feel like muck. It can be interesting even. Just if I overdo trying to explore the feelings when they happen to be there is when I'm like "what's the point".


It's something to be able to ignore emotions, but another thing in entirely to completely miss it. Sometimes I wonder about the merits on focusing on them, but it's like that one chore I keep putting off- I can probably do it, but at the same time I just want to toss it into the garage because it's too much of a hassle to figure out how it works and oil it up and understand it. I think most things in life do not need it, and I get by just fine, so that lessens my urgency/interest in delving into it. Typology does help me shed a light on them, though. It's a double edged sword because while it makes me objective, it also makes me too impersonal in situations that merit the other kind of thought processing.

Well yeah. You don't need it for most things. Most likely it would also be a hard chore for you - it is hard for me. My brain gets tired of emotion really fast. I would say however that you do need it if you want a relationship with a strong enough emotional connection. Up to you if you want that. ...



****

[MENTION=14857]Ravenetta[/MENTION] I'd like to comment on your posts as I found them interesting.


I feel them slow and deep. I analyze and make sense of my internal world and have an understanding of my internal cause-and-effects already, so once the emotion is identified, I can usually understand it. If it involves social interactions that are negative then I get caught into negative loops because it can't resolve when parts are unknown and outside of myself. Also, it takes me longer to know what I feel in social interactions because it takes a while to get a sense of what the other person means. I have a need to sort it through and put it to rest. If I create something, that seems to help resolve it.

An social example is that I was trying to make friends in a new place and found a group of older hippie ladies that would dance in the park. I got on their message list and would come. The leader was mostly only critiquing me, even though the others weren't getting the moves. I first assumed it was positive that she thought I could learn it, but the last time I went, she would mimic me in a very mocking way. I thought it didn't bother me because I didn't feel any real friendship connection, but then later when I was practicing I noticed my self-esteem was low. I don't like to admit she could affect me, but I believe in being honest with myself. Now I know I need to avoid people who mock me even if I don't expect any connection because they trigger feelings that I already have about myself from past experience that have nothing to do with them. For me emotional processing involves raw honesty and then making decisions to prevent the negative ones from happening.

&

I know a lot about my internal world of emotions, what triggers emotions, the cause and effects of my emotions, my emotional history and how it affects me now, etc. I feel things slow and deep. Sometimes I will know what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, but that doesn't result in being able to stop it. Then I become an observer and experiencer at the same time, so my consciousness splits into two perspectives. The most extreme emotions tend to trigger this duality, which is helpful as a coping mechanism even though it is somewhat dissociative in nature.

I'm kind of doing this emotional exploration lately as in your two posts, it's just not easy. However the bolded, it's my default about emotions.

What I don't do is I don't feel things slow and deep. I either don't feel anything and am just emotionally neutral, or I feel very fleeting weak feelings for 1-3 seconds, or I feel some emotions intensely at times for a few minutes - yes a few minutes is already an eternity for me when it comes to feeling intense emotions fully.


Then you say:

What I struggle with emotionally has to do with external pressures and people. When people are confusing or hurtful, I can become anxious and go into internal loops to try to figure it out, but it becomes an endless obsessive loop because I don't have enough information - I don't have access to their internal world and it's relevant to the situation. Also, when I'm under pressure for school or work and I'd rather be doing my own projects, then I can become intensely depressed and anxious and get mildly drunk to complete the requirement.

Processing and understanding my emotions internally is an area of comfort and depth for me. I am very good at it and have taken the time to know that world. Interfacing my emotions with the outside world with it's pressures and confusion is harder for me because I feel trapped and also lack the information needed to resolve the problem.

I'm aware of that same issue of not having access to the internals of others, I just ignore that mostly tho' and just set a concrete course of action based on what I determined I want.

What kind of information are you lacking about the outside world - with regard to the last sentence in your post here?
 

Earl Grey

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Well yeah. You don't need it for most things. Most likely it would also be a hard chore for you - it is hard for me. My brain gets tired of emotion really fast. I would say however that you do need it if you want a relationship with a strong enough emotional connection. Up to you if you want that. ...

This might sound strange, but I am not sure how valuable the 'emotional' component is. I have close friends, some of which I have maintained for over half my lifespan, but whenever asked to gauge or express the 'emotional connection' aspect of the relationship I am always at a loss. What does that even mean? I would say that it is indeed needed for that specific type of relationship that you mention- one with a strong emotional connection, but I think it is not necessarily a requirement for close relationships, at least for myself.

I do not actively want it, but if something good presents itself, I would not turn it down.
Something like expensive jewelry- it is indeed nice, but my default is that I dislike jewelry and would not get any myself, for myself.
 

Meowcat

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Messages
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This might sound strange, but I am not sure how valuable the 'emotional' component is. I have close friends, some of which I have maintained for over half my lifespan, but whenever asked to gauge or express the 'emotional connection' aspect of the relationship I am always at a loss. What does that even mean? I would say that it is indeed needed for that specific type of relationship that you mention- one with a strong emotional connection, but I think it is not necessarily a requirement for close relationships, at least for myself.

I do not actively want it, but if something good presents itself, I would not turn it down.
Something like expensive jewelry- it is indeed nice, but my default is that I dislike jewelry and would not get any myself, for myself.

What specifically makes it close relationships with these close friends; are you able to put this into words?

By emotional connection I meant emotionally feeling and living the relationship, being emotionally invested in it and motivated by that to do more for the relationship, altogether a visceral and emotional attachment, so you'd feel pain and sadness a lot if they dropped the relationship etc... optionally manifesting the relationship in an emotional way (emotional expression).

Practical advantages of this: your partner/friend won't leave because of feeling it's all grown too cold. You can provide for their emotional and also general well-being better (and they can too for yours). Emotions also provide greater motivation to do & achieve more things. And... just the experience itself being good and enjoyable, too (for the emotionally positive parts). It is protective against apathy.
 
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