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Not living in the here and now?

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I've been fascinated since I started reading this personality stuff and the part about how SPs live in the here and now, but the other temperaments don't. And I'm like "what How can you not live in the here and now?"

I really can't imagine what it's like, because I've just always been me. So, what's it like to not live in the here and now? Maybe I can start to understand, and even if not, then it could still be an interesting topic.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I do things like burn mint oil to "wake" myself up and attempt to get into the moment. Sometimes I am sad because I feel like I have not truly felt or experienced some important moments of my life because I was disconnected and in my head.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
I envy SPs for the "here and now" attitude and I have been learning how to do it myself too. It gives some kind of serenity to just stop and stare at trees or squirrels or people... Usually I'm too much in my head sorting things out to notice the reality that much. So, if you want to know what it is like to be me, plan something really impractical inside your mind for the whole day, something that will never happen anyways. Like world peace or something.
 

redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
Man, I wish I could spend some time in the here and now. The only time this happens is while I'm playing the drums. Otherwise, I'm lost in thought-world -- even words are more concrete than my thoughts most of the time.
 

Sunshine

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
1,040
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ABCD
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I envy SPs for the "here and now" attitude and I have been learning how to do it myself too. It gives some kind of serenity to just stop and stare at trees or squirrels or people... Usually I'm too much in my head sorting things out to notice the reality that much. So, if you want to know what it is like to be me, plan something really impractical inside your mind for the whole day, something that will never happen anyways. Like world peace or something.

<3
 

Bella

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
1,510
MBTI Type
ISTJ
I get very lost in my own mind and thoughts. It bothers me, sometimes.
 

Sunshine

New member
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1,040
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Being an enneagram 4 and an ISFP I'm constantly alternating between being really disconected from my external world and being in my head and being totally immersed in my external world.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
The NF says plan for world peace... the NT here says imagine every single way life could go wrong, then feel a sense of urgency to know the right way to avoid it knowing the domino effect of your choices, and plan to make the right decision tomorrow so that ten years from now you won't be regretting your actions.

Imagine future for several weeks, research heavily for several weeks, contingency plan daily, re-evaluating everything in your plan with every single new piece of information. This is only for one facet of your life. There are probably a half-dozen major plans in your head all at different stages of this pattern. You must juggle these all in your head. This requires concentration on thoughts, and it by necessity needs daydreaming to see what could come up that needs to be dealt with.


Ignore things like the fact that you forgot to shower today or that your environment is a disaster zone. Be in focused crisis-aversion mode (without deep stress, only the fixation that comes with it) 90% of your time. The other ten is spent thinking of how to try to get out of conversations that are boring, or actually enjoying conversations, or dealing with your reality.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
The NF says plan for world peace... the NT here says imagine every single way life could go wrong, then feel a sense of urgency to know the right way to avoid it knowing the domino effect of your choices, and plan to make the right decision tomorrow so that ten years from now you won't be regretting your actions.

Imagine future for several weeks, research heavily for several weeks, contingency plan daily, re-evaluating everything in your plan with every single new piece of information. This is only for one facet of your life. There are probably a half-dozen major plans in your head all at different stages of this pattern. You must juggle these all in your head. This requires concentration on thoughts, and it by necessity needs daydreaming to see what could come up that needs to be dealt with.


Ignore things like the fact that you forgot to shower today or that your environment is a disaster zone. Be in focused crisis-aversion mode (without deep stress, only the fixation that comes with it) 90% of your time. The other ten is spent thinking of how to try to get out of conversations that are boring, or actually enjoying conversations, or dealing with your reality.

Whow! That's how it is to be INTJ? Very well explained, I can almost imagine it. So the perspective for NT is on the probable future, while for the NF it is in the improbable future...
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
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entp
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There is a good sentence I once heard relating your question Jeff:

"Reality is nice, but the graphics suck" :D

realityy.jpg
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Jul 17, 2008
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9,098
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type
^Best picture ever.

Jeffster, I'm not in the here and now, even when I'm in the here and now. It's hard to explain, but it's true. I always consider what everything means in relation to everything else, the future, the past. Whatever the subject. There exists a cloudy, sparkly barrier between my brain and reality.
 

entropie

Permabanned
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To actually contribute something to the thread.

For me it is living for things and because of things. Or to be more precise events. I for example start my week and I have a lot of work to do. I do it all automated, to get my money to pay for my university. And the only thing that keeps me alive, is that on thursday evening I will be heavy drunk with my friends.

That is probably not a special not SP thing yet, but I could get just right now very drunk. I could call some friend and do it, but I do not do it, because it does not cross my mind.

Another thing, I live at the moment under sometimes unbearable financial pressures, because of University. They do not bug me because I only think in the future. I think one day I will be that fancy rich engineer. To be more precise. I could fall into a complete lethargy, where I actually I am not really there in the present, because the present just so sucks that I am walking through it like an automaton.

I have it in my hands to change the present any time, but I am more likely to think of a future being better.

I have overcome this lethargy of mine mostly. What I described here is more a thing from my past and I just used it to describe, what it could mean not to live in the present.

Nowadays I am more enthusiastic about things and always on the look for new and intresting things. That keep oneselves mind and heart in the loop until someday this neverending university time is finished and someone actually gives me something intresting to research, besides learning things that mostly do not intrest me xD
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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Aug 13, 2007
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5,903
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ENTJ
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7w8
Well, I'm NT, but I think I reasonably live in the here and now.

When I don't, it's because the here and now sucks badly. Or because it may not suck badly, but I envision the future to be better.
To be more precise, I do generally live in the here and now (it's impossible to live in the future or past), but I tend to think about the consequences of my actions (and of the actions of others) in the future, and try to behave according to those consequences. I still have no problem looking at the trees, squirrels, etc etc - my "not living in the here and now" is more oriented towards how I make decisions.

Another example would be when I play football: when I pass the ball, I never take into consideration where my teammate is at the given moment but rather in which direction I think (and I would like) he's going to move; or (and this was actually my main problem as a player) when I have a possibility for scoring I envision in my mind how by doing X Y action I could even be more sure of scoring...and by doing this I lose the right timing for the shot.
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
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Jul 31, 2007
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2,106
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INFP
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4w5
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so/sp
i've learned to live a bit in the here and now since i had brady. I still catch myself coming in and out of reality all day long though. Even when i try to experience things, i still can't be in the here and now, my head is just somewhere else all the time. I guess that is why people always ask me if i'm paying attention.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
The NF says plan for world peace... the NT here says imagine every single way life could go wrong, then feel a sense of urgency to know the right way to avoid it knowing the domino effect of your choices, and plan to make the right decision tomorrow so that ten years from now you won't be regretting your actions.

Imagine future for several weeks, research heavily for several weeks, contingency plan daily, re-evaluating everything in your plan with every single new piece of information. This is only for one facet of your life. There are probably a half-dozen major plans in your head all at different stages of this pattern. You must juggle these all in your head. This requires concentration on thoughts, and it by necessity needs daydreaming to see what could come up that needs to be dealt with.


Ignore things like the fact that you forgot to shower today or that your environment is a disaster zone. Be in focused crisis-aversion mode (without deep stress, only the fixation that comes with it) 90% of your time. The other ten is spent thinking of how to try to get out of conversations that are boring, or actually enjoying conversations, or dealing with your reality.

This is a great explanation.

I also tend to spend a lot of time in fantasyland. All the things I'd love to be able to do that would help if I'd spend time in the here and now, such as acting and playing guitar, etc., I can just imagine that I'm already good at it. And then reality is always disappointing, and it seems like I'll never reach the goals I've already seen myself reaching. My inner world is always my escape, and it's too easy to retreat there where everything is the way I like it.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
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ENTJ
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Oh I think there's a difference between INT and ENT there, because I am never really focused on avoiding danger except when I'm climbing mountains or skiing very fast. My plans are mostly based on trying to extract the maximum utility from a sinergy of events that are going (that I think are going) to happen, by reacting to them in the best way.
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
6,704
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I am really never in the 'here and now.'

I believe I may have become unstuck in time somewhere along the way...



If I start babbling about alien abduction, please, somebody put me out of my misery!
 

spirilis

Senior Membrane
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Jul 5, 2007
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2,687
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9w1
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sp/sx
I guess I don't live in the "here and now" too much either. I daydream. A lot. A hell of a lot. And almost none of it has any direct connection to what is happening right now, right here, in my vicinity--most of it is fantasy and/or planning/exploring what might happen in the future based on what I know right now.

That said, whenever my attention IS directed to the here and now, I feel a certain sense of liveliness. This doesn't have to be sensory stuff either; at work, during an emergency event where something's going wrong, I could be sitting at my desk pounding away at the keyboard trying to get a reasonable handle on what exactly is happening at this moment in real-time, sampling data as often as possible and lining up whatever we need to address the problem ASAP, and in those moments I feel my technical skills are at their greatest utility.
 
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