[Te] I think I broke my Te

[Pionart]

I don't know if what I am about to say relates to Te.

Usually I can spend my day doing some household chores and cooking, and go to university classes and study, and go to work and be very efficient there, and I make plans of what else to do.

Now I can't seem to do any of this. I am moving very slowly and not doing much, and I thought it was depression but I don't feel unhappy really, sometimes I can be very happy, but I get a lot of nightmarish flashes go through my head which are very unpleasant and I think there is something inside me that might explode one day.

My thoughts are more settled, not looping around the same theme quite so much, more quiet and directed when I need to and I spend a lot of time putting myself into trances through things such as meditating.

So I am not feeling that bad myself, but I am not doing all those things I am supposed to do like study, even though I don't have a lot of study to do and I shouldn't find it so hard, but even in class I don't concentrate I more just use my imagination towards the people around me and to my own life.

My anxiety seems lower, but still present, and if I try to do these things I get worked up and pace and fidget, it is unpleasant, but I could do it if I wanted, but even though I should want to I don't that much even though I should.

What to do??

Tx 4 rdg

 

[ceecee]

What to do??

See a doctor.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

See a doctor.

This.

 

[Pionart]

Guys, I just want an analysis according to Jungian functions.

 

[Luke O]

Jungian schmungian, go see a doctor.

 

[Pionart]

Psychologist, psychiatrist or GP?

1. already going to see one anyway
2. nope, not that shit again
3. why? I would assume it is psychologically based hence 3 would refer back to 1 or 2...

Come on... how do you repair a Te??

 

[Luke O]

3, since 3 would decide whether you need 1 or 2.

 

[Pionart]

3, since 3 would decide whether you need 1 or 2.

But 1 and not 2 is already locked in. Hence 3 is pointless.

 

[Santosha]

How long have you been meditating?

When I first began meditating, (not the first few times, but within the first few months of doing so consistently) I became much more emotionally sensitive and began recalling memories that I hadn't thought of for decades.

Could your meditation be causing you to think/feel differently about this productive life you held?

 

[Pionart]

How long have you been meditating?

When I first began meditating, (not the first few times, but within the first few months of doing so consistently) I became much more emotionally sensitive and began recalling memories that I hadn't thought of for decades.

Could your meditation be causing you to think/feel differently about this productive life you held?

Well... in line with what you said, this is within my first few months of consistent meditation.

I think it could be because I am becoming more detached, but dissonance manifested through disassociation from personal and societal convention is problematic... lol. I just mean I think I'm overdoing it, I want to do things "the normal way" for just a bit longer so it doesn't all seem like it was a waste. I'm not confident in my abilities to live outside of these things.

Shit...

+ yep... the meditation hypothesis really does fit, like I knew it was part of it... cos all these threads are winding together... but it is a very core thing.

Meditation -> slow/calm movements, less anxiety and obsessive thinking, mind can handle bleaker imagery

But meditation should be helping me do day to day stuff, shouldn't it?

 

[Santosha]

Usually. I'm not an expert on it, but when I started I became hyper-emotional for a while, feeling like I needed to cry much more than usual (which isn't much) and got worried. So I did a bit of research and came across all kinds of odd experiences others had. Some of them feeling a disconnect from 'reality' and motivation to show up, which seemed to be rooted in their intent for meditating. They were using it as an escape, to avoid conflict and problems, rather than moving them into States of being that illuminated their priorities and helped them understand the most simple and relevant solutions. Now, I'm not sure that I agree with there being any 'wrong' way of doing it. But I think ones approach and intention can alter what they get out of it. I've even read about meditation as an addiction to dodge life.

We are meant to show up in life, imo, and I think you can keep your Te in check while meditating. Perhaps you should reflect on your feelings and ask why it is that you've been pursuing the things you are. Is it because you are 'supposed to' or because you really *want to* ? For me, meditation helps me easily separate them. And once you get in touch with these feelings and wants, it becomes difficult to deny them. You find yourself extremely uncomfortable and intolerant of anything but your alignment. Which should be great for Te, as it cuts out a lot of wasted time and bull shit.

 

[Pionart]

Usually. I'm not an expert on it, but when I started I became hyper-emotional for a while, feeling like I needed to cry much more than usual (which isn't much) and got worried. So I did a bit of research and came across all kinds of odd experiences others had. Some of them feeling a disconnect from 'reality' and motivation to show up, which seemed to be rooted in their intent for meditating. They were using it as an escape, to avoid conflict and problems, rather than moving them into States of being that illuminated their priorities and helped them understand the most simple and relevant solutions. Now, I'm not sure that I agree with there being any 'wrong' way of doing it. But I think ones approach and intention can alter what they get out of it. I've even read about meditation as an addiction to dodge life.

We are meant to show up in life, imo, and I think you can keep your Te in check while meditating. Perhaps you should reflect on your feelings and ask why it is that you've been pursuing the things you are. Is it because you are 'supposed to' or because you really *want to* ? For me, meditation helps me easily separate them. And once you get in touch with these feelings and wants, it becomes difficult to deny them. You find yourself extremely uncomfortable and intolerant of anything but your alignment. Which should be great for Te, as it cuts out a lot of wasted time and bull shit.

Well... it's because I'm supposed to, not because I want to. Do people actually go to work or class because they want to? Some people do I'm sure, but don't most people do it because they're supposed to/they need to make a living?

Now I'm just doing what I want to. That's not what I'm supposed to do is it?

Oh and I was crying a lot recently too but I don't know if it was before or after I started regularly meditating... I think it was before. They were tears of beauty though. It was inspiring, not worrying.

I'm trying to find out what I want from life... and the answer is that I want to do funny/interesting stuff. I want experiences that I will learn from, that will imprint onto my eternal spirit that which has never before been achieved.. and a normal life just seems so... contrary to this.

But then it's like... it's ok to dream, but that's not the world we live in. It's necessary to make a living. A lot of these so-called interesting experiences would be very much helped by having money anyway...

My motivation for meditating was almost because it's something I've been "supposed" to do. I mean... I research religion as a teenager, and I get fixated on the idea of buddhist meditation, and I love koans. But I can't meditate... it's too hard. Then I see a psychologist, and there's all this focus on mindfulness meditation. And I start getting an interest in Magick, and here Crowley is, as soon as I start reading one of his books, telling me about the importance of meditation. So along the way I keep having a go at it... but I can't make a habit of it. And now it's like... I just do it as a reflex almost.

So it's like... do I try and push through the work/study stuff... or am I going to end up some vagabond, or living as cheap as possible off government handouts or something... or do I even care which way it goes? I just want to experience the universe and for the universe to experience me, yknow? I don't...

 

[pinkgraffiti]

I don't know if what I am about to say relates to Te.

Usually I can spend my day doing some household chores and cooking, and go to university classes and study, and go to work and be very efficient there, and I make plans of what else to do.

Now I can't seem to do any of this. I am moving very slowly and not doing much, and I thought it was depression but I don't feel unhappy really, sometimes I can be very happy, but I get a lot of nightmarish flashes go through my head which are very unpleasant and I think there is something inside me that might explode one day.

My thoughts are more settled, not looping around the same theme quite so much, more quiet and directed when I need to and I spend a lot of time putting myself into trances through things such as meditating.

So I am not feeling that bad myself, but I am not doing all those things I am supposed to do like study, even though I don't have a lot of study to do and I shouldn't find it so hard, but even in class I don't concentrate I more just use my imagination towards the people around me and to my own life.

My anxiety seems lower, but still present, and if I try to do these things I get worked up and pace and fidget, it is unpleasant, but I could do it if I wanted, but even though I should want to I don't that much even though I should.

What to do??

Tx 4 rdg

This sounds Like you are describing me on a normal day when I'm not stressed and I'm just using Ne without any Te control. It's those days when I'm happy, not anxious, dreamy, and I forget all personal objects everywhere and risk accidents etc..but for me it's not a negative thing, it just means that Im in tune with myself, my identity.

So maybe youre just using Ne? Maybe it's like, your 3rd function, and youre not so used to it? Or even last function? I dont know. Also, your mbti type description doesnt help *insert sarcasm* *back to smiling*

 

[Pionart]

This sounds Like you are describing me on a normal day when I'm not stressed and I'm just using Ne without any Te control. It's those days when I'm happy, not anxious, dreamy, and I forget all personal objects everywhere and risk accidents etc..but for me it's not a negative thing, it just means that Im in tune with myself, my identity.

So maybe youre just using Ne? Maybe it's like, your 3rd function, and youre not so used to it? Or even last function? I dont know. Also, your mbti type description doesnt help *insert sarcasm* *back to smiling*

I'm supposed to be an ISTJ so Ne is in 4th position on the line up. And ummm yeah it's not necessarily bad, like it feels good, but ummmm I'm supposed to be doing assessments for university. that is supposed to be important and I am not supposed to be lazing around like this, the pressure of impending doom should be motivating me to action so I can achieve my goals and achieve to higher rungs of the $$$ ladder. Duh.

Which MBTI type description are you referring to in particular? They are all helpful(LY USELESS, lol). (just noticed my MBTI type still says EFRQ - is that what you meant? That's my guess but like I srs dk??)

How do you ENFPs actually like... survive?

+ oh, and I'm not "forgetting personal objects around me" or "risking accidents" - like, I'm still very aware of my surroundings... I did ENTP mode the other day, and I get what it means to not really be aware of the environment that much... this doesn't feel anything like how that felt.

Like... I thought I was going from Te into Fi, but since Fi and Ne are like, supposed to go together for me, you'd likely be correct about that

 

[pinkgraffiti]

I'm supposed to be an ISTJ so Ne is in 4th position on the line up. And ummm yeah it's not necessarily bad, like it feels good, but ummmm I'm supposed to be doing assessments for university. that is supposed to be important and I am not supposed to be lazing around like this, the pressure of impending doom should be motivating me to action so I can achieve my goals and achieve to higher rungs of the $$$ ladder. Duh.

Which MBTI type description are you referring to in particular? They are all helpful(LY USELESS, lol). (just noticed my MBTI type still says EFRQ - is that what you meant? That's my guess but like I srs dk??)

How do you ENFPs actually like... survive?

+ oh, and I'm not "forgetting personal objects around me" or "risking accidents" - like, I'm still very aware of my surroundings... I did ENTP mode the other day, and I get what it means to not really be aware of the environment that much... this doesn't feel anything like how that felt.

Like... I thought I was going from Te into Fi, but since Fi and Ne are like, supposed to go together for me, you'd likely be correct about that

Well, this is one of two things:
Either you are exploring your 4th function, which is great
Or you are in a big stress, and your functions are reversed

Usually, when we go through stress, we go through each one of our functions and they all progressively fail until we hit the 4th. And the problem is that the 4th is incredibly energy-taking, so it makes us exhausted in the long run. So remember if that might have happened? You went through some trauma, trying dealing with it with Si, didn't work so you stopped using Si (it's just on pause, trying to recover, because you exausted it, and now you don't trust it), then tried Te but that didn't work etc, same process, up to Ne. The way out of this is to gradually use your functions in reverse order: So, try to awaken Fi and start feelings things without being afraid, once that's solid go to Te etc back to Si. You can read about MBTI stress response if you google.

Or...your other functions are still active and your using them, and you're just gradually exploring your 4th which is a natural way of development. The better you develop your 3rd and 4th functions when you are in a healthy state, the better you will reply to periods of extreme stress when your "engine" is running on their "fuel" only.

We enfps survive because we use Ne supported by Fi-fueled Te, like i told You in my first response.
Yes, I didn't know your type because I only read that combination of letters on your profile that looks like the Roman symbol.

 

[Pionart]

Well, this is one of two things:
Either you are exploring your 4th function, which is great
Or you are in a big stress, and your functions are reversed

Usually, when we go through stress, we go through each one of our functions and they all progressively fail until we hit the 4th. And the problem is that the 4th is incredibly energy-taking, so it makes us exhausted in the long run. So remember if that might have happened? You went through some trauma, trying dealing with it with Si, didn't work so you stopped using Si (it's just on pause, trying to recover, because you exausted it, and now you don't trust it), then tried Te but that didn't work etc, same process, up to Ne. The way out of this is to gradually use your functions in reverse order: So, try to awaken Fi and start feelings things without being afraid, once that's solid go to Te etc back to Si. You can read about MBTI stress response if you google.

Or...your other functions are still active and your using them, and you're just gradually exploring your 4th which is a natural way of development. The better you develop your 3rd and 4th functions when you are in a healthy state, the better you will reply to periods of extreme stress when your "engine" is running on their "fuel" only.

We enfps survive because we use Ne supported by Fi-fueled Te, like i told You in my first response.
Yes, I didn't know your type because I only read that combination of letters on your profile that looks like the Roman symbol.

Yeah there's definitely something here related to stress...

But at the moment, I don't feel that stressed, I'm a bit concerned but I'm stopping myself from getting too stressed out... so why would I be less stressed with Ne, and get stressed out when I start doing what I see as Te?

See... I have gone through incredible stress over the past few years, and I honestly feel like my personality changed as a result... and I never thought I was ISTJ until I had gone through so much stress that I was institutionalised for it, and only then did I start to notice that I seemed like I was an ISTJ.

Si is a source of stress for me I think too, because whenever I reflect on the past I am mostly filled with a sense of regret. So why is my dominant function so unpleasant? Whereas Ne is more fun and relaxing... but I overthink things and go into worst-case scenario mode like someone with inferior-Ne would, too...

Ti is definitely stressful to use (well, some applications of Ti are more natural for me than others), so I can conclude I'm not a TP... but beyond that it's hard to say. I mean, what if I'm NFP or something and flipped my personality... or INFJ and went so far down the line that I turned into ISTJ... does that even happen, lol? That I would be INFJ and then turn into ISTJ so well that everyone else thought I was ISTJ? Ok, I'm overthinking again, going around in circles, but yeah...

So yeah, thanks for the suggestion that my strongest functions really could be on pause as a result of trauma, because I have felt that to be true but no one really validated that idea for me. I have been through traumatic events, so it might help for me to try and see how my functions changed as I went through it all. If what you're saying is true, then I don't think I really am Si dominant, because while I don't particularly like Si, I trust it... whereas I don't trust my Ni/Ne because of my psychosis... and people don't believe it when I tell them, and I don't understand it because I thought I was a typical N type, like so theory focused... and everyone tells me I'm a sensor... circles again, that's enough x]

Anyway, thanks. That was the sort of response I was looking for.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Yeah there's definitely something here related to stress...

But at the moment, I don't feel that stressed, I'm a bit concerned but I'm stopping myself from getting too stressed out... so why would I be less stressed with Ne, and get stressed out when I start doing what I see as Te?

See... I have gone through incredible stress over the past few years, and I honestly feel like my personality changed as a result... and I never thought I was ISTJ until I had gone through so much stress that I was institutionalised for it, and only then did I start to notice that I seemed like I was an ISTJ.

Si is a source of stress for me I think too, because whenever I reflect on the past I am mostly filled with a sense of regret. So why is my dominant function so unpleasant? Whereas Ne is more fun and relaxing... but I overthink things and go into worst-case scenario mode like someone with inferior-Ne would, too...

Ti is definitely stressful to use (well, some applications of Ti are more natural for me than others), so I can conclude I'm not a TP... but beyond that it's hard to say. I mean, what if I'm NFP or something and flipped my personality... or INFJ and went so far down the line that I turned into ISTJ... does that even happen, lol? That I would be INFJ and then turn into ISTJ so well that everyone else thought I was ISTJ? Ok, I'm overthinking again, going around in circles, but yeah...

So yeah, thanks for the suggestion that my strongest functions really could be on pause as a result of trauma, because I have felt that to be true but no one really validated that idea for me. I have been through traumatic events, so it might help for me to try and see how my functions changed as I went through it all. If what you're saying is true, then I don't think I really am Si dominant, because while I don't particularly like Si, I trust it... whereas I don't trust my Ni/Ne because of my psychosis... and people don't believe it when I tell them, and I don't understand it because I thought I was a typical N type, like so theory focused... and everyone tells me I'm a sensor... circles again, that's enough x]

Anyway, thanks. That was the sort of response I was looking for.

Wait a Second!! If you give negative connotations to Si and positive to Ne, that's a big red sign there! Maybe you are INFP/ENFP whose functions are all twisted due to prolonged stress. I definitely sense a lot of Fi in you.
I say this because Ive read that when a function is in 4th order we associate the negative thought of it:for instance, an ENFP might have anxiety issues , which is connected with inferior Si. However, the same function as primary would result in a positive expression of that function (I'm not really sure what would be positive about Si as 1st....maybe feeling comforted in a known environment and with family etc).

So...i strongly advise that you read about "ISTJs under stress" and "INFPs" under stress or ENFPs. Maybe you can get something out of that. Just google and see what comes up.

 

[Pionart]

Wait a Second!! If you give negative connotations to Si and positive to Ne, that's a big red sign there! Maybe you are INFP/ENFP whose functions are all twisted due to prolonged stress. I definitely sense a lot of Fi in you.
I say this because Ive read that when a function is in 4th order we associate the negative thought of it:for instance, an ENFP might have anxiety issues , which is connected with inferior Si. However, the same function as primary would result in a positive expression of that function (I'm not really sure what would be positive about Si as 1st....maybe feeling comforted in a known environment and with family etc).

So...i strongly advise that you read about "ISTJs under stress" and "INFPs" under stress or ENFPs. Maybe you can get something out of that. Just google and see what comes up.

Well, the thing is people say bad things about Si types, like they're boring and close-minded. I do feel comforted by home/family, so idk...

I want to be an NF, but I don't know if I really am one or if I am just an ISTJ after all?

I'm having a hard time reading at the moment, but I will try to find out about the types under stress stuff...

I can't understand why people say I'm Si dominant... like my memory for details isn't really that great? I'm very selective with what I remember, it all depends on what I paid attention to at the time. And I don't remember literal sense details like colour etc. I just remember what happened, what people said, what I was thinking etc.

I guess I associate Si with feeling regretful and trapped (depression), and Ne is more like being free but also confused, and Ni is like... seen as the ideal to aim for, you know? Like Ni just understands everything...

But ain't this just steretypes?

Does this type stuff matter even in the slightest bit? I think it does but maybe it don't?

 

[pinkgraffiti]

Well, the thing is people say bad things about Si types, like they're boring and close-minded. I do feel comforted by home/family, so idk...

I want to be an NF, but I don't know if I really am one or if I am just an ISTJ after all?

I'm having a hard time reading at the moment, but I will try to find out about the types under stress stuff...

I can't understand why people say I'm Si dominant... like my memory for details isn't really that great? I'm very selective with what I remember, it all depends on what I paid attention to at the time. And I don't remember literal sense details like colour etc. I just remember what happened, what people said, what I was thinking etc.

I guess I associate Si with feeling regretful and trapped (depression), and Ne is more like being free but also confused, and Ni is like... seen as the ideal to aim for, you know? Like Ni just understands everything...

But ain't this just steretypes?

Does this type stuff matter even in the slightest bit? I think it does but maybe it don't?

It seems like you're just really young and don't know yourself well. It's ok. It's a journey anyway. Take care.

 

[Poki]

Well, the thing is people say bad things about Si types, like they're boring and close-minded. I do feel comforted by home/family, so idk...

I want to be an NF, but I don't know if I really am one or if I am just an ISTJ after all?

I'm having a hard time reading at the moment, but I will try to find out about the types under stress stuff...

I can't understand why people say I'm Si dominant... like my memory for details isn't really that great? I'm very selective with what I remember, it all depends on what I paid attention to at the time. And I don't remember literal sense details like colour etc. I just remember what happened, what people said, what I was thinking etc.

I guess I associate Si with feeling regretful and trapped (depression), and Ne is more like being free but also confused, and Ni is like... seen as the ideal to aim for, you know? Like Ni just understands everything...

But ain't this just steretypes?

Does this type stuff matter even in the slightest bit? I think it does but maybe it don't?

You are who you are irregardless of the type. Accept who you are as a person, and go after what you want. Type is a tool to help us, if it brings you down find something else. Wrong tool for your life at the time.

I see a lot of "suppose to" what do YOU want in life and what will it take for you to get there?