BeyondTheGrey
New member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2015
- Messages
- 95
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Yesterday I was brought back into awareness of the possibility of being in an Ni-Ti loop.
It might be a long post. I'm going to share an example and what it feels like.
I might even use Ti to justify my baseless actions and form theories about the loop.
Anyway. I had a really long conversation with my father yesterday.
Not sure what type he is.
Apparently my grandmother's sister passed away and I was struggling to understand the whole concept of attending a funeral.
To me, if someone is dead, they're dead. There's no point in showing emotion for the dead.
My father told me we had to go and visit the family to console them etc,
I didn't understand why.
I was connecting everything finding out what lied beyond them, meaning, and equated them to zero.
I didn't see the need to interact and I intentionally had my feeling valve turned off (for years now).
He then had an issue with my antisocial tendencies.
Told me that I had to contribute to society somehow and always have to make sure others feel better.
I questioned it. I guess I used Ti to justify my need for isolation.
Used it to justify my inability to feel,
I told him, If they're sad, let them settle it themselves.
That just made things worse. I didn't really care, nor did i see it as something important to me.
Anyway, long story short,
he told me Ive been spending too much of my time alone,
that I lack compassion.
Lack external opinions and exposure.
Thinking in loops and jumping to odd conclusions.
He also reminded me of a time when I was compassionate and understood others, helping to motivate them.
I don't even remember that.
Personally, I find social interaction to be a waste of my time.
I can still socialise though. I have social skills but I feel emotionally dry.
Times I feel refreshed is when Im around people and they pass off their feelings.
Like a friend of mine told me about something he was feeling sad about, I felt sad, yet alive.
Its that contrast between wanting to be alone and needing an emotional connection with the external world.
Nowadays, I spend my time questioning whatever is out there and deconstructing it and justifying its worthlessness.
I know I have a lot more to say, I just can't remember how to say it effectively.
Let me know if you can relate..
It might be a long post. I'm going to share an example and what it feels like.
I might even use Ti to justify my baseless actions and form theories about the loop.
Anyway. I had a really long conversation with my father yesterday.
Not sure what type he is.
Apparently my grandmother's sister passed away and I was struggling to understand the whole concept of attending a funeral.
To me, if someone is dead, they're dead. There's no point in showing emotion for the dead.
My father told me we had to go and visit the family to console them etc,
I didn't understand why.
I was connecting everything finding out what lied beyond them, meaning, and equated them to zero.
I didn't see the need to interact and I intentionally had my feeling valve turned off (for years now).
He then had an issue with my antisocial tendencies.
Told me that I had to contribute to society somehow and always have to make sure others feel better.
I questioned it. I guess I used Ti to justify my need for isolation.
Used it to justify my inability to feel,
I told him, If they're sad, let them settle it themselves.
That just made things worse. I didn't really care, nor did i see it as something important to me.
Anyway, long story short,
he told me Ive been spending too much of my time alone,
that I lack compassion.
Lack external opinions and exposure.
Thinking in loops and jumping to odd conclusions.
He also reminded me of a time when I was compassionate and understood others, helping to motivate them.
I don't even remember that.
Personally, I find social interaction to be a waste of my time.
I can still socialise though. I have social skills but I feel emotionally dry.
Times I feel refreshed is when Im around people and they pass off their feelings.
Like a friend of mine told me about something he was feeling sad about, I felt sad, yet alive.
Its that contrast between wanting to be alone and needing an emotional connection with the external world.
Nowadays, I spend my time questioning whatever is out there and deconstructing it and justifying its worthlessness.
I know I have a lot more to say, I just can't remember how to say it effectively.
Let me know if you can relate..