I experienced the development of aux Fi in three developmental stages and in three arenas.
The first stage was the raw version. You get visceral gut reactions, this fire alarm that goes off inside you when something isn't
right, and the utter feeling of bliss when something is
exactly right - you cannot explain it, and you are kind of dumbfounded to find that others don't necessarily share this experience.
And so, you turn within to figure out what emotions get triggered by what and how they make sense, when they're reliable information and how to fine-tune their accuracy, as well as what to take away from it and put into action. The last part is hardest. From repeated application, certain values come into focus, which become the axioms of your value system. Almost all Fi-users seem to develop the value 'respect other peoples preferences as long as they don't harm others' from this process, because it would be kind of hypocritical not to, when you kind of want others to do the same for you
It might also be the reason why most Fi-users Ive met seem to have a yearning desire to be understood and actually show love themselves by attempting the same for the other person (the mastery of which happened in stage 2, arena 2 for me)
So, this is how most people seem to start their development of aux Fi(Ne), ime, though some people might start with the second arena (for instance, because their environment triggers the need to read other people to ensure their survival and cope with chronic stress - think abusive situations). And of course, it is possible to have a stage 1 mastery while trying to use on arena 2, in which case they may come across as rather 'bumbling', or to use arena 3 skills on stage 1 to fine-tune your understanding of Self even more, and so on.
The second arena is other people. Once you have a grasp of how things work within and you've noticed that others don't necessarily work the same way and for that matter, show internal inconsistencies, you can then use that curiosity to try and 'personality map' others. You start with the template you already have - yourself, and start marking down the differences as you observe them.
How would I feel if I were them in this situation? -> this is the most basic way to engage empathy within anyone. And it is useful, in its most basic state, in a pinch. It can give you a general idea of the situation you're in, with them, if you do not have any other information.
But arena two also shows the need for stage two:
Experimentation indicates that they don't react as you would in that in that situation. At least not every time. So - what makes up the difference?
Observation eventually leads you to conclude that they hold different axiomatic values than you do. Which makes sense:
- their background is different from yours, after all. But, it's more than that.
- Their personality and the behavioural patterns they display also differ from yours
So, you need as much intel as possible on these parameters for you to make an accurate personality map. Questions and in depth talks are the way to go
So now, we have three elements to the equation: the situation, their personality and their past.
The use of the last variable depends on the mastery of stage 1, imho. It's the ability to take your own emotions out of the equation, neutralise them completely so you can insert 'their personality codex' in lieu of your own, and effectively allows you to perfect stage two: mapping out and predicting in arena two: others. Doing this kind of feels like stepping into one of them virtual 3D devices or a flight simulator, allowing you can literally walk a mile in another shoes. It's only a simulator and the accuracy depends on its programming, and it's not without its limitations...but it's still fucking awesome. It helps answer such burning questions as: how do they experience life? Why is this shit so important to them? How did they get here? The thing I love most about it is that you see the person's matrix - their code. Their past, where it lead them, their journey, and all that they can still achieve in their live. Their raw potential
Caveat: Those who started with area two due to circumstances, need a chance to complete arena 1 in order to actually fully master arena 2.
After doing plenty of stage 2 in arena 2, you gather enough intel and patterns (again, NFP here, though I'd imagine that SFPs do this based other experiences instead, which could explain their avant-guarde way of predicting society and inspiring it with their work, touching just the right value within each individual) so you get access to arena 3 and stage 3:
The development of universal values. Tracking down everyone's values to their core root, to..well, the DNA stage of each unique value, really and from there on distill and articulate them in such a way that they can be universally applied in society without (theoretically) infringing on anyone's unique way of interpreting them or their preferences of how to use them. Everything is checked and double-checked and checked again for internal consistency and upmost flexibility to respect each individuals preferences while yielding maximum gain in the long-run.
Then it's a matter of seeding these values like a butterfly does with pollen to others. Championing them. Testing them out, seeing how others respond, if they need more work and fine-tuning on the way they resonate with people, how beneficial they will actually be, how theory translates into practice, and how potent the idea is regarding viral spreading (it may need 're-branding' to really deliver its message, for instance). Transparency regarding your agenda is *huuuge* in this stage, so people really do feel inspired for themselves, that it is their own choice to adopt this because it is right to *them*.
After this, I leave things in the capable hands of TJs and FJs - Fjs to implement it socially, TJs to build the systems to turn theory into reality.
Note: I am aware that as an ENFP 4 with an apparently really heavy-handed Fi, this is likely not the process that even other ENFPs have followed. And I would imagine that INFPs likely go beyond what I've described in applying their Fi to *everything* as it is their dominant perspective - not just to themselves, to others and to society/universal values.
Anycase, that was my two cents
