N/ S and sex

[violet_crown]

It seems odd to me that it could be related to typology. I wouldn't have given it any real thought if I hadn't first encountered this detail in that original description. I'm not sure I can speculate. The closest I can come up with is that there is a greater likelihood of common 'language' between N-types and that language simply extending to the realm of sex. But this hasn't always been true, and compatibility is more intricate than that line of speculation.

Do you have a speculation?

Also, I should clarify that it wasn't being said that intuitives necessarily have more sex. The intimation (in the forums) was that N-types like/need/prefer 'more sex', a lot of it, that in relationships their libidos are greater .... greater than what, is anyone's guess. At the time I did not belong to any typology forum so I was unable to address it then and there.

I'd agree with your assessment that sex drive is probably not type related, but if there is any correlation there, it would probably be more a function of love languages or whatever the person's enneagram instinctual variant happened to be.

I've primarily dated intuitives, and I will say that folks who were Ni/Se have had a much stronger libido than those who were Ne/Si. NPs seem to need more downtime or they get overwhelmed and withdraw, so it's important to check in with them to see where they're at. With NJs, bless our hearts, if we're going, we're pretty much good to go until they can't go anymore lol.

 

[windoverlake]

I'd agree with your assessment that sex drive is probably not type related, but if there is any correlation there, it would probably be more a function of love languages or whatever the person's enneagram instinctual variant happened to be.

I've primarily dated intuitives, and I will say that folks who were Ni/Se have had a much stronger libido than those who were Ne/Si. NPs seem to need more downtime or they get overwhelmed and withdraw, so it's important to check in with them to see where they're at. With NJs, bless our hearts, if we're going, we're pretty much good to go until they can't go anymore lol.

Definitely agree with you about instinctual variant. That's actually been the thing when it comes to compatibility for me, much more than MBTI.

Your comments about Ni/Se is interesting: Ni obsessiveness and Se physical awareness, Ni seeking and Se collecting. I've never dated a fellow NJ, though. It sounds ... wonderfully thorough.

 

[violet_crown]

Definitely agree with you about instinctual variant. That's actually been the thing when it comes to compatibility for me, much more than MBTI.

Yeah. I'm sx/sp. My best relationships have been with other sx-doms, but I frequently find myself attracted to sp/sx's as well. So-doms very rarely do anything for me, and I think the quality of interaction is mutually dissatisfying for both parties.

Your comments about Ni/Se is interesting: Ni obsessiveness and Se physical awareness, Ni seeking and Se collecting. I've never dated a fellow NJ, though. It sounds ... wonderfully thorough.

Lol! It is. I mean, my experience with NJ/NJ pairings has been that there's definitely that element of intensity that is built from working on a similar frequency. The shared Ni aligns over time to create this system of common symbols that grows into a shared world. Beyond that it's nice having a partner who's as capable as you are (or more so), because you can always trust that the world won't explode if you need to fall apart every now and again. It's just a nice situation all around.

 

[highlander]

I've heard it remarked several times in various places that Intuitives need and want sex on a more frequent basis than Sensors. This detail is mostly included in passing, and in relationship threads. I do know that some standalone MBTI descriptions do include details, such as NT and NF types requiring a greater amount of sexual intimacy than SJ or SP types.

Idiosyncracies of individual sexuality aside, where does this observation come from w/r/t MBTI?

I don't think so.

Seems illogical to me and having no basis in facts.

 

[Hapyniss]

I've heard it remarked several times in various places that Intuitives need and want sex on a more frequent basis than Sensors. This detail is mostly included in passing, and in relationship threads. I do know that some standalone MBTI descriptions do include details, such as NT and NF types requiring a greater amount of sexual intimacy than SJ or SP types.

Idiosyncracies of individual sexuality aside, where does this observation come from w/r/t MBTI?

I catch a lot of flak for being prude. I disagree with that assumption. I think that's a man defending his self esteem because he couldn't get me into bed. For me, the answer is two fold.

I am very difficult to get into bed because I know myself well. I am going to be completely emotionally attached once I sleep with someone. In that case, I make sure that he's committed before I sleep with him. Then he gets to have the well earned benefits. I am meaning like my loyalty, commitment, time, energy, full throttle self into making it totally work.

And...Once I am sexual with my man - there are very few boundaries for what I won't do or try with him. The sky is pretty much the limit and I'm game as much as possible. I also like sex to be completely intense and primal.

 

[windoverlake]

Yeah. I'm sx/sp. My best relationships have been with other sx-doms, but I frequently find myself attracted to sp/sx's as well. So-doms very rarely do anything for me, and I think the quality of interaction is mutually dissatisfying for both parties.

+100

Lol! It is. I mean, my experience with NJ/NJ pairings has been that there's definitely that element of intensity that is built from working on a similar frequency. The shared Ni aligns over time to create this system of common symbols that grows into a shared world. Beyond that it's nice having a partner who's as capable as you are (or more so), because you can always trust that the world won't explode if you need to fall apart every now and again. It's just a nice situation all around.

Very interesting about trusting the world won't explode ... that actually makes sense.

 

[Jaguar]

Marie-Louise von Franz noted:

Intuitives are more often completely taken over by sensual experiences - music, food, sex, alcohol, drugs. Her explanation was: the dominant function steps away. An Ni dom could become fat from shoving a whole bag of cookies in their mouth. All of it is certainly plausible, think about it - if one has conscious control of something, they can easily turn up the volume or turn down the volume. Without consciousness, one could lack control over sensual experience and instead find it controlling them.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I've heard it remarked several times in various places that Intuitives need and want sex on a more frequent basis than Sensors.

No shocker there since Ns are probably the first people that are not getting enough or any of it. Just because they want it or need it that does not mean that they get any of it.

 

[ceecee]

don't think it's related to MBTI... I think it's a bit more biological than that with things like testosterone and such. not to mention life events and past experiences with sex and what cultural background you were raised in and so on so forth

I agree with this.

 

[vaulttec]

Speaking as the model ESTJ, sex is seen by me as that kind of pure Christian thing that should only be done after marriage.
Of course I didn't lose my virginity only after being married but casual sex is another thing.