tardismama
New member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2015
- Messages
- 6
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp
I'm just really skeptical of the whole "anything but the dominant function doesn't develop until late puberty" thing. Obviously our personalities mature slowly, but kids are hardly personality-less blobs of a single function! I claim no expertise, I am just now learning about functions myself (and realising I've been mistyping as infp for nearly 20 years), but I'm a Ti dominant, if there is one thing I'm good at it's observing and stockpiling information. I'm a stay at home mom to preschoolers, there is nothing I spend more time observing than my kids, and I find it hard to believe that only one function should be observable with a strong preference at age 5.
Personal example: My 5 year old has been obviously an introvert from very early on (even more so in hindsight - she slept better in her own room than in the same room as us as a tiny infant), she is very aware of this and will even tell us "I need to be alone now", especially after social events, and yet her strongly obvious Se preference has also been observable for years now. The way she experiences the world, the way that she describes things, the way she experiences every sensory input just screams Se. I would think it was her dominant if she wasn't so clearly introverted. Given the choice between Ti and Fi she is painfully clearly F. At her age and combined with her strong Se we get the very very worst of the Fi stereotypes right now - she doesn't know the meaning of the word patience and her feelings are supreme over all other potential anythings, she got into a screaming indignant rage last year when there was a huge parking lot jam trying to leave the county fair, she was absolutely incensed that every other car in front of us refused to move out of our way "don't they know I want to go home!" was even shrieked at one point. As she nears 6 here (October) and has recently seemingly hit a much more rational developmental stage we're seeing some of the softer sides of Fi too, but a deeply ego driven ball of emotion and impatience and art is still the default (not a perfect fit, but think Merida from Brave and you've got a pretty good idea of the vibe - wild red curls and all). By default dom Fi and aux Se means ISFP so Ni and Te would round out her stack and while they are certainly not developed yet there are definitely hints there (especially the Ni, nothing I can put my finger on yet but my mom is an infj - weird quasi psychic stuff, professional counselor and all - and it's familiar). I think some kids just have such strong personalities that it becomes obvious early - even immature their preferences are too loud to go unnoticed. (terrible analogy, but maybe it's a bit like those kids where it was obvious at 3 that they were gay even though most the time there is no sign until puberty?) I mean my 3yo (4 in Sept) I get no such strong impressions from, he's definitely an extrovert and I'm pretty sure Fe is his dominant. He's extremely people focused, extremely aware of social niceties (no one had to teach him please and thank you, he just picked up that it was something people did as soon as he could speak enough to add the words to his vocabulary), he has an insane vocab for his age and he uses it all to connect with people. But while I have a hunch Si will wind up his aux, that has more to do with a general feel based on descriptions of ESFJ vs ENFJ than anything obviously observable/describable. He just has a much softer personality in a general fashion.
that kind of got away from me... anyway... yeah I'm skeptical of anything that say preferences past dominant don't really show until the teens - but also realize I'm reading from a pretty tiny group and they are still little - it's quite possible that when my daughter is 18 I'll wonder why I ever thought she was ISFP (though I doubt it - it seems to fit even down to the stereotypes. The amount of art supplies that child goes through...)
(not explicitly relevant, I just think their favorite songs are so perfectly them. She loves Don't Rain On My Parade best but also Aretha Franklin and any ladies with BIG voices and big emotions, he loves the Beatles in general but the Glee/Chris Colfer covers of Blackbird and I Want To Hold Your Hand are his most favorite.)
Personal example: My 5 year old has been obviously an introvert from very early on (even more so in hindsight - she slept better in her own room than in the same room as us as a tiny infant), she is very aware of this and will even tell us "I need to be alone now", especially after social events, and yet her strongly obvious Se preference has also been observable for years now. The way she experiences the world, the way that she describes things, the way she experiences every sensory input just screams Se. I would think it was her dominant if she wasn't so clearly introverted. Given the choice between Ti and Fi she is painfully clearly F. At her age and combined with her strong Se we get the very very worst of the Fi stereotypes right now - she doesn't know the meaning of the word patience and her feelings are supreme over all other potential anythings, she got into a screaming indignant rage last year when there was a huge parking lot jam trying to leave the county fair, she was absolutely incensed that every other car in front of us refused to move out of our way "don't they know I want to go home!" was even shrieked at one point. As she nears 6 here (October) and has recently seemingly hit a much more rational developmental stage we're seeing some of the softer sides of Fi too, but a deeply ego driven ball of emotion and impatience and art is still the default (not a perfect fit, but think Merida from Brave and you've got a pretty good idea of the vibe - wild red curls and all). By default dom Fi and aux Se means ISFP so Ni and Te would round out her stack and while they are certainly not developed yet there are definitely hints there (especially the Ni, nothing I can put my finger on yet but my mom is an infj - weird quasi psychic stuff, professional counselor and all - and it's familiar). I think some kids just have such strong personalities that it becomes obvious early - even immature their preferences are too loud to go unnoticed. (terrible analogy, but maybe it's a bit like those kids where it was obvious at 3 that they were gay even though most the time there is no sign until puberty?) I mean my 3yo (4 in Sept) I get no such strong impressions from, he's definitely an extrovert and I'm pretty sure Fe is his dominant. He's extremely people focused, extremely aware of social niceties (no one had to teach him please and thank you, he just picked up that it was something people did as soon as he could speak enough to add the words to his vocabulary), he has an insane vocab for his age and he uses it all to connect with people. But while I have a hunch Si will wind up his aux, that has more to do with a general feel based on descriptions of ESFJ vs ENFJ than anything obviously observable/describable. He just has a much softer personality in a general fashion.
that kind of got away from me... anyway... yeah I'm skeptical of anything that say preferences past dominant don't really show until the teens - but also realize I'm reading from a pretty tiny group and they are still little - it's quite possible that when my daughter is 18 I'll wonder why I ever thought she was ISFP (though I doubt it - it seems to fit even down to the stereotypes. The amount of art supplies that child goes through...)
(not explicitly relevant, I just think their favorite songs are so perfectly them. She loves Don't Rain On My Parade best but also Aretha Franklin and any ladies with BIG voices and big emotions, he loves the Beatles in general but the Glee/Chris Colfer covers of Blackbird and I Want To Hold Your Hand are his most favorite.)
