ESTP and INFP friendship troubles

[LedZipline]

Hey. First time poster here so go easy!

My question is about the interaction between infps and estps.
I've had a friend who is INFP since pre school age and he is great as a friend but now that we're expanding in seemingly opposite directions spending long periods of time with his friends is DRAINING AS HELL for me and it applies to him for my friends as well. It's really cool at another level though as it's an almost perfect example of my polR function :/


Going to a con with him as he's dressed as a character from some anime seemed like it'd be really fun at first. But all that happened was we "talked" to people all day about in-depth anime stories. Which I'm not too acquainted with .
I typed talking in quotes because it was not a chat, it was us listening to them basically self express stuff about their most loved fandom or try to explain to me how they felt about a show, and how their fanfic was so much better. It was so one sided :/ , I tried bringing other stuff up but was interrupted by the next conversation about more anime . My god I haven't felt so drained of energy in my life.
I tried having some fun but my humour kind of slid off them. And apparently trying to mug a coffee stand with a foam sword isn't allowed because I was "actually scaring the barrista a bit". Seriously guys, it was a joke.

The same situation in his eyes might be the day my friends and I brought him out in my friends car and drove to so many places, gathering more people as we went until it was so cramped in the car we had to smoke out the sunroof. 2 at a time! XD.
Hit a party at about 10, had a blast talking to some serious girls and left about 9 the next morning because all he wanted to do was go home sleep!

Anyway, enough stories and examples. My question is what have been your experiences with Infp's and Estp's, either seeing them together or being one type and spending time with the other?

Has anyone found a good middle ground or compromise so that we can get along for more than 3 hours at a time? Activities and they like?
Or maybe a catalyst type to ease the difference between us?

I'm just lost here and would appreciate advice

 

[Hitoshi-San]

I don't have any INFP friends that I know of, but my little brother is one. And yeah I feel like I bother him if I don't really watch my words around him, but that could be because I'm quite a bit older than him and he's still not even a teenager?

Some of my IxxJ friends I get chewed out by a lot, especially the ISxJ variety.They'll be like, "dude you swear so much knock it off" and "can you go longer than five minutes without saying something sexual oh my god". I will be pretty fucking surprised the day they don't consider me their child.

But no, this might just be my INFP and not yours, but he's kind of rigid. Like not only with you but overall. It's not like you're gonna be able to change someone into not being like that, but I wouldn't do anything differently from what you're doing now unless you'd really be into acting more frustrated (not the word I'm looking for) when he calls you out, like you are somewhat ashamed of what you did even if there's no reason.

But hey, friends will have their differences regardless. And the whole wanting to go to sleep early would be more of an introversion trait if I remember correctly because he'll naturally get more wiped out from spending time with people all night.

 

[Southern Kross]

I think INFPs and ESTPs both find each other enjoyable but draining. I have ESTP friends and family that are fun to be around but as you say it's hard to maintain for long stretches of time.

I can't say I've found a solution to that other than to focus on interests you have in common: talking about and participating in them etc. If one is interested and the other isn't then an impasse is inevitable. Then all those differences become more heightened and problematic, and resentment brews.