How to recognize the "intuitive" man

[LovelySweet]

What are some characteristics/behavior of the intuitive man? I'm very high on the intuitive scale...and seem to spot it easily in women...but have a tougher time telling which of the men I meet are the "N"s.

I'm trying to be a bit smarter about the men I get close to now.

 

[aanule]

I could be totally off here... And it might depend on the type of intuitive they are (Ne or Ni)... But, the intuitive men I know tend to dress well... And by that, I don't mean expensively, rather, put together cohesively. They have a purpose to their style, even if they actually dress like a hobo.

They also tend to be artistic in one way or another. I've yet to meet an intuitive person that isn't, actually.

Also, a love of sarcasm seems to be pretty common in the intuitive men I know.

Good luck!

 

[Cygnus]

He's obsequious, physically weak, and spends his evenings rotting in a decrepit armchair, in front of a broken television, in a dark cobwebbed room, eating hot pockets.

 

[indra]

Talks incessantly of 'things' and how things should be.

 

[uumlau]

Wear a t-shirt with a bad pun on it. The non-intuitive men will stare at it and say, "Huh?" The intuitive men will chuckle or groan loudly and think it quite clever overall.

 

[Kullervo]

What are some characteristics/behavior of the intuitive man? I'm very high on the intuitive scale...and seem to spot it easily in women...but have a tougher time telling which of the men I meet are the "N"s.

It is so hard to generalise...you won't be able to tell well without talking to them. When you do, pay attention to how the man explains himself, and what language he uses.

Cues for N-ness:
Ne: Complex sentence structure
Both: Abstract language, may use metaphors (especially if Feeling)
Ni: Grasps new concepts quickly. Talks in generalities

Something else you can do is download a chart of MBTI neutral facial expressions. I have found that helpful.

I'm trying to be a bit smarter about the men I get close to now.

So you are screening men based on their supposed MBTI? How is that any different than screening them on a religious or racial basis? (Why am I the first to notice the irony?)

 

[JocktheMotie]

Realize that as soon as you meet a man you like/can be close to you will type him as an "N" regardless of his actual type, and skip this whole exercise.

 

[aanule]

So you are screening men based on their supposed MBTI? How is that any different than screening them on a religious or racial basis? (Why am I the first to notice the irony?)

You're not, I just couldn't think of a nice way to point it out.

 

[Poki]

Wear a t-shirt with a bad pun on it. The non-intuitive men will stare at it and say, "Huh?" The intuitive men will chuckle or groan loudly and think it quite clever overall.

I agree, I don't like shirts with bad puns.

You should see my shirt...its meant for non-intuitives. Its the only shirt I have ever actually came up with and had printed.
On the front it says
"Pink" in big pink letters

and on the back it says
"Its not about what you wear,
its about what you eat"

 

[Luke O]

Right then:
1) Find t-shirt that has a quote that only intuitives will 'get' (ok, some sensors will too, but not many). Make sure quote is at breast level.
2) Wear t-shirt on a nice, sunny day.
3) Of the men that stare, eliminate those with a confused look.
5) Profit

 

[boomslang]

If they're Ni (and therefore also Se):

• Look for a gaze that swaps between a softened daze and high alertness. This happens with the Se types too, but not quite so much, obviously. The sensing variants spend more time with a more focused gaze, and their focused gaze looks more focused on top of that
• TeNi/NiTe seem to gravitate towards neutral colours (actually, I think this is a Ni thing in general). Think blacks, greys, whites. They may or may not be good dressers, it really depends. The Ni NFs seem to be more savvy dressers in general (partly related to Fe, I'm guessing), but a lot of them also seem to gravitate towards neutral tones.
• Look for people that talk about trends, it's a common application of whatever they pick up with Se, "wow, everyone's all wearing pink today" or "everyone's making that Pearl Harbor joke lately" or "the tide really seems to be changing with smoking laws, I'm starting to see a big move towards it barely happening in public"
• Lots of connecting statements in sentences. Like, "we were at the beach earlier, we're about to head off now and get dinner at one of the beachside diners, I really want to sit outside but it looks like it's going to rain, if it does, we'll just head inside, I guess"
• Lots of non-committal qualifiers "probably", "I could be wrong", "possibly", "maybe or maybe not, it depends on ____", "I suppose", "potentially", etc.

If they're Ne (and therefore also Si):

• Look for eyes that dart around a lot. Less scanning and more like stopping very briefly on discrete objects. This applies to Ne and Si types. The difference seems to be that Ne eyes are a bit softer, but still dart around a lot like Si ones.
• Look for bolder colour choices than you'd see with the Ni types. The type most obvious for this ENFP. The Ne extraverts seem to have a presentation that's nerdy, hippie-ish or generally idiosyncratic. They're the most obvious intuitive types. You might have to make small adjustments on account of the males, but it still holds up to a pretty big extent.
• Look for people that don't focus on trends as much as the potential of things. Could be a big party, a new house they want to deck out, someone that doesn't realise their talent, etc.
• Lots of puns. Ne seems obsessed with puns, I suspect this is because it involves the crossing of contexts, which seems to be like crack for them. (disclaimer: puns seem to be Fe related as well, I find Ne and Fe to be more verbose and prone to literary dancing than pretty much any other functions).
• This is totally biased, but look for people that cannot take care of themselves at all. I mean common day-to-day stuff, putting dishes away, cooking things properly, avoiding bruises and cuts, etc. A lot of them cannot handle this for most of their 20s, and some just find a partner that will do it for them.

 

[uumlau]

Um, guys? The t-shirt remark was tongue-in-cheek.

Though in my personal experience, a surprising number of people don't get the joke when I wear such shirts. And I'm talking about friends whom I know are not at all stupid. But intuitive vs non-intuitive? Naw. I've Si-dom friends who get the joke and fall into a fit of giggles.

I'm trying to be a bit smarter about the men I get close to now.

I would wager that you don't have many male friends. And it isn't that you're necessarily looking for "intuitive" men, but rather good men who would take the time to get to know you, rather than just rush into the whole dating scenario. You're just sort of assuming that you'd get along more with the intuitive ones. While there is some truth that the more intuitive guys are more likely to understand you and your quirks, that doesn't imply that they'd get along with you.

I would suggest that you take the time to get to know guys without "dating" them. In my personal opinion, the "dating" scenario just isn't well-suited to discerning what Ni-doms need to know about a potential partner. We tend to be attracted to people that we don't really get along with - not because we're stupid or wired wrong, but just simple statistics: we're the rare ducks among the MBTI types, so most other people don't share our cognitive approach and they don't have many people in their lives who are Ni doms.

What's worse for an Ni-dom female, in my observations, is that the reverse wrong-attractiion effect occurs, too. If she is especially attractive, she'll end up with a lot of suitors who simply won't be able to understand her very well, not on her level: these will be the guys whose overall style is to be proactive and ask girls out, especially the pretty ones. The kind of "intuitive" (I use the word loosely, not technically) temperament you're looking for, especially the more reserved kind of man who is not in the mood to "play games", isn't going to be one of the guys that approaches you in a bar to ask for your number.

Both of these effects will tend to conspire to make it difficult for you to get to know men.

What I would suggest is that instead of trying to meet guys on dating terms, meet them on friendly terms. Meet your female friends' male friends. Join some sort of hobby/interest group that isn't primarily made up of women and get to know the guys there. I'd actually suggest this for all MBTI types, not just Ni doms: all dating is essentially "blind". The expectations these days are set up not around getting to know the other person, but around the assumption that the other person is supposed to be a romantic interest. All of those expectations actually work against getting to know the other person very well.

 

[HongDou]

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I agree, I don't like shirts with bad puns.

You should see my shirt...its meant for non-intuitives. Its the only shirt I have ever actually came up with and had printed.
On the front it says
"Pink" in big pink letters

and on the back it says
"Its not about what you wear,
its about what you eat"

That's so low-brow and crass but I love it.

 

[Poki]

That's so low-brow and crass but I love it.

Me and my friend were in the car and she handed me a carton of gum and said "White or pink?"(they were little white and pink chicle(sp?) gum) and due to my severe issue with sexual innuendo and jokes I said "I eat pink" And hence the shirt was made.

 

[Ene]

I think this is wonderful advice.

Um, guys? The t-shirt remark was tongue-in-cheek.

Though in my personal experience, a surprising number of people don't get the joke when I wear such shirts. And I'm talking about friends whom I know are not at all stupid. But intuitive vs non-intuitive? Naw. I've Si-dom friends who get the joke and fall into a fit of giggles.

I would wager that you don't have many male friends. And it isn't that you're necessarily looking for "intuitive" men, but rather good men who would take the time to get to know you, rather than just rush into the whole dating scenario. You're just sort of assuming that you'd get along more with the intuitive ones. While there is some truth that the more intuitive guys are more likely to understand you and your quirks, that doesn't imply that they'd get along with you.

I would suggest that you take the time to get to know guys without "dating" them. In my personal opinion, the "dating" scenario just isn't well-suited to discerning what Ni-doms need to know about a potential partner. We tend to be attracted to people that we don't really get along with - not because we're stupid or wired wrong, but just simple statistics: we're the rare ducks among the MBTI types, so most other people don't share our cognitive approach and they don't have many people in their lives who are Ni doms.

What's worse for an Ni-dom female, in my observations, is that the reverse wrong-attractiion effect occurs, too. If she is especially attractive, she'll end up with a lot of suitors who simply won't be able to understand her very well, not on her level: these will be the guys whose overall style is to be proactive and ask girls out, especially the pretty ones. The kind of "intuitive" (I use the word loosely, not technically) temperament you're looking for, especially the more reserved kind of man who is not in the mood to "play games", isn't going to be one of the guys that approaches you in a bar to ask for your number.

Both of these effects will tend to conspire to make it difficult for you to get to know men.

What I would suggest is that instead of trying to meet guys on dating terms, meet them on friendly terms. Meet your female friends' male friends. Join some sort of hobby/interest group that isn't primarily made up of women and get to know the guys there. I'd actually suggest this for all MBTI types, not just Ni doms: all dating is essentially "blind". The expectations these days are set up not around getting to know the other person, but around the assumption that the other person is supposed to be a romantic interest. All of those expectations actually work against getting to know the other person very well.

One thing I've noticed at the events and so forth where I speak, the guy that walks up and asked for your number or tells you how pretty you are, probably isn't going to be the kind that will ever take the time to get to know you. And, as harsh as this sounds, a lot of times, what you see right then and there, that's as deep as he goes.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I think this is wonderful advice.






One thing I've noticed at the events and so forth where I speak, the guy that walks up and asked for your number or tells you how pretty you are, probably isn't going to be the kind that will ever take the time to get to know you. And, as harsh as this sounds, a lot of times, what you see right then and there, that's as deep as he goes.

Same for women. If a female told me I had a cute ass in my single days, I assumed the most she wanted was a shag, if even that much. This wasn't a female with whom I was going to be able to discuss black holes or the structure of time or anthropology.

However if she was interested in my mind then I might become filled with butterflies and start considering her as a serious pursuit.

 

[Ene]

Same for women. If a female told me I had a cute ass in my single days, I assumed the most she wanted was a shag, if even that much. This wasn't a female with whom I was going to be able to discuss black holes or the structure of time or anthropology.

However if she was interested in my mind then I might become filled with butterflies and start considering her as a serious pursuit.

Yes, I absolutely agree with you on this. It works both ways.

 

[Poki]

Um, guys? The t-shirt remark was tongue-in-cheek.

Though in my personal experience, a surprising number of people don't get the joke when I wear such shirts. And I'm talking about friends whom I know are not at all stupid. But intuitive vs non-intuitive? Naw. I've Si-dom friends who get the joke and fall into a fit of giggles.

I would wager that you don't have many male friends. And it isn't that you're necessarily looking for "intuitive" men, but rather good men who would take the time to get to know you, rather than just rush into the whole dating scenario. You're just sort of assuming that you'd get along more with the intuitive ones. While there is some truth that the more intuitive guys are more likely to understand you and your quirks, that doesn't imply that they'd get along with you.

I would suggest that you take the time to get to know guys without "dating" them. In my personal opinion, the "dating" scenario just isn't well-suited to discerning what Ni-doms need to know about a potential partner. We tend to be attracted to people that we don't really get along with - not because we're stupid or wired wrong, but just simple statistics: we're the rare ducks among the MBTI types, so most other people don't share our cognitive approach and they don't have many people in their lives who are Ni doms.

What's worse for an Ni-dom female, in my observations, is that the reverse wrong-attractiion effect occurs, too. If she is especially attractive, she'll end up with a lot of suitors who simply won't be able to understand her very well, not on her level: these will be the guys whose overall style is to be proactive and ask girls out, especially the pretty ones. The kind of "intuitive" (I use the word loosely, not technically) temperament you're looking for, especially the more reserved kind of man who is not in the mood to "play games", isn't going to be one of the guys that approaches you in a bar to ask for your number.

Both of these effects will tend to conspire to make it difficult for you to get to know men.

What I would suggest is that instead of trying to meet guys on dating terms, meet them on friendly terms. Meet your female friends' male friends. Join some sort of hobby/interest group that isn't primarily made up of women and get to know the guys there. I'd actually suggest this for all MBTI types, not just Ni doms: all dating is essentially "blind". The expectations these days are set up not around getting to know the other person, but around the assumption that the other person is supposed to be a romantic interest. All of those expectations actually work against getting to know the other person very well.

I know a lot of Dom Ni types. They don't seem to be as unique as "statistics" makes them seem, atleast to me.

We go into relationships looking for a certain thing and end up missing everything else. I agree that we need to more socialize and stop "looking" for someone. We have pinned some idea of "what we want" when it comes to dating and its based off of shallow interactions of "what hits me quickly" and think we know what we want or need. This reminds me of repeated conversations I have with my girlfriend. She likes to say "this is how I am" and I have to remind her that with me it actually doesn't apply. Who she is has changed so much just because I am so different then others that she really cant use the past as a judge of who she is or will be as much as she tries.

Honestly the whole "dating" scene needs to change to actually be functional, not functional for dating, but functional for relationship, ourselves, and life. We place way to many restrictions on ourselves to actually be able to do this properly. We spend so much time fighting that we don't learn how to actually see what is. We are instistant on what we think and proving its real instead of actually looking at things at a bigger picture and seeing what life brings.

Lot to post on this actually, not enough time today

 

[Kensei]

Intuitives tend to be more dreamy and anchored in the future than in the present. The only way I can think of to help you without re-convincing myself of being an intuitive is to point out that intuitives are more likely to get pumped over things to loo forward to. They will see future possibilities as real as the things in fromt of them. Sensors on the other hand won't care about it until it's right in front of them. For example: I am almost done with high school, but all I see is the fact that I have projects to do and that I am still in school. The future does little to get me pumped. The future still does motivate me, but I don't get too excited about it until I am walking on the stage getting my diploma. All I can do is daydream about the future, which gives me only as much comfort as the time I take to daydream. Inutitives also tend to be more intellectual than sensors and will tell you that they love learning for the very sake of it and won't need a practical application. As a sensor I am not motivated to learn unless I know I have a use for it or unless I am strongly interested in the subject material.