[Ti] TP's: What is it like for you to use Fe in service to Ti?

[greenfairy]

TP's: What is it like for you to use Fe in service to Ti?

I think the function pairs in hierarchy have this relationship, that is, that the lower of the two acts "in service" to the higher, meaning is directed by the purposes and motivations of it. This is part of what it means to have a preference. So what is it like for you? How do you experience it, what are some examples, what are some of these purposes and motivations of Ti that Fe helps with, how do you think it is different from Ti in service to Fe, etc.

 

[Frosty]

Usually I use Fe to soften the blows of my Ti. I can use Fe to generally emphasize with someones point, while still retaining my own thought process inside my head. I usually use Fe to try to make someone feel comfortable enough to really go deep with me in conversation, it doesn't always work since my Fe I suspect is pretty low on the totem pole, but that mainly is what I use Fe for. Also I might use Fe to make a group I am working with run more smoothly, I might use it to compliment a friend, and I might use it if I am really upset and my feelings just explode from inside of me. I have been trying to develop my Fe recently, it still is not that strong but hopefully with continued use I can buff it up.

Ti in service to Fe would probably be helpful in trying to analyze someones feelings. Fe in service to Ti is probably more helpful in getting someone feeling comfortable enough to analyzing other things.

 

[Totenkindly]

I actually systemize Fe like I do with any other system -- typical for Ti+Ne I guess, but I expect Fe doms have a different perception of it since it's their "native" system and what I'm doing is translating it into my own "native system" and making use of it in that context.

Bsically I consciously see it as a way of behaving like a huge flow chart in my head (sometimes a complicated one) of cause and effect, and once I get used to a particular cultural system, I instinctively start picking up on nuance, knowing what things will trigger what kinds of reactions, and also how the system can be used to communicate particular ideas, commitments, loyalties, or the lack of them. A person can make a comment or take an action, and if I'm familiar with the context and the cultural lexicon, I immediately know how to interpret the reaction. I can also choose to say or do things that I know will convey something to others around me.

Frosty also makes a similar/supporting point, you can use Fe to "soften" a Ti comment. I think this is where Ti folks get in trouble, just spitting out a particular idea without any awareness or concern for how it will get read in a more personal way by others; so the Fe understanding is used to support Ti communication and translate it into a form of idea dissemination that will not carry undesired information.

(i.e., if you just blurt out a criticism, it can be heard as "You suck really bad" versus "I'm just giving you information that is trying to help you, because I care." That former bit might not be what you intended, but you're still communicating instead of the latter, so understanding how people might perceive something allows you to be more intentional in your communication.)

 

[spirilis]

Perhaps knowing when to inject a little humor (appropriate to the target audience) when laying down criticism is an example. I do that frequently.

 

[Frosty]

Right, I sort of use Fe sometimes to get a sense of whether someone will appreciate a statement I would like to make. I also use Fe a bit to pick up on kind of the essance of the group and determine what mode of behavior is appropriate. If I am in a group of people who my Fe picks up as sad, I will mirror my behavior to reflect sadness. If everyone is excited and happy, I can use Fe to pick up and deal with that as well. I take what I know aboutthe particular people I am talking about and I am generally able to get a sense of how to act around them, but if I am around a group of strangers Fe can end up being extremely useful, it is more of a here and now function.

I do what Spirilis says frequently as well, I use Fe to let me know when telling a joke is appropriate or inappropriate. It sort of helps me read the room.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Well, my Fe isn't apparant unless you really know me. Or I really care for someone. Then it is me putting myself in their shoes a lot. I usually find myself taking on a lot of my loved ones hardships. I don't necessarily think this is healthy - I'm just sort of realizing I do this - but it's because I know I'm strong enough to handle it.


On a global level it is perfunctory. Like, when to interject on a subject that may not be met positively but needs to be stated to keep a project from getting derailed. It's sort of a filter for 'politeness'.

I don't find that it interacts with Ti all that much. I guess maybe in the sense that it works like, 'someone brought up Joe's ex - that didn't go well - avoid mentioning her". Keep things in a framework of reactions and build upon them. I don't know. stuff like that.

But everyone does that, right? Not sure if I'm describing this well at all.

 

[greenfairy]

Well, my Fe isn't apparant unless you really know me. Or I really care for someone. Then it is me putting myself in their shoes a lot. I usually find myself taking on a lot of my loved ones hardships. I don't necessarily think this is healthy - I'm just sort of realizing I do this - but it's because I know I'm strong enough to handle it.


On a global level it is perfunctory. Like, when to interject on a subject that may not be met positively but needs to be stated to keep a project from getting derailed. It's sort of a filter for 'politeness'.

I don't find that it interacts with Ti all that much. I guess maybe in the sense that it works like, 'someone brought up Joe's ex - that didn't go well - avoid mentioning her". Keep things in a framework of reactions and build upon them. I don't know. stuff like that.

But everyone does that, right? Not sure if I'm describing this well at all.

No that makes sense and sounds like what other people are saying. We all do this but not so consciously I think, and Feeling types might add in a bunch of things which distract us from the logic of the situation. You just see why something works or doesn't, which is rational. We might add a value judgment to it, or wonder whether they like us less, or how that person is going to behave in the future, or something like that.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

TP's: What is it like for you to use Fe in service to Ti?

Well, if I view functions as metaphors, with TI representing the logical, analytical side of me that strives for coherence, and Fe representing the emotional side of me that demands connection, engagement and security, I think I would describe it as such:

I strive to analyze the Fe, and look at what sets it off. I try to find patterns. What kind of thing upsets me and makes me lose control? What kind of thing makes me happy? What do I like about people? What do I hate? After a certain point, I can do some comparing, and compare my library of past reactions to the reactions and behavior of other individuals. I suppose I do not have an answer for situations that are not in my library, so I try and factor that in, too. For instance, if someone is an Iraq war vet, I do not really know entirely what they've been through, so I don't pretend to have answers when I do not.

The thing that a lot of INTPs don't realize is that you can predict this stuff. Emotions aren't totally mysterious things that have no explanation, and neither are human beings. Human beings merely appear mysterious and unknowable to other human beings (or INTPs) because nobody has complete information regarding another human being. Total knowledge of other humans is impossible, so one must make informed guesses while at the same time being prepared to accept information that contradicts these guesses. INTPs that have a strictly empirical approach to the world often find this difficult, because one perceives only the surface actions of others, and neglects the connecting threads that can help form a more coherent picture of an individual's personality. That is, if one believes that one should not engage in speculation, and rely only upon observable evidence, the INTP is suppressing their intuitive faculties and crippling themselves. Speculation can be incorrect or off-base, but it must be done, anyway. It is possible to do this while allowing room for error.

The benefits to this is that it enables the INTP to more smoothly navigate the interpersonal relationships that are an inescapable part of living. Ultimately, we can't go off and live as a desert hermit (I tried that; it was simply not viable or even possible). So, we have no choice but to try and understand other humans. In doing so, we can acquire compassion points.

I'm making this process sound a lot more mechanical than how I actually experience. The reality, as I experience it, is much more organic than mechanical. It appears mechanical because of the way I explain it.

I'm not sure how INFJs experience Fe fueled by Ti. Keep in mind that some people think I'm an INFP or INFJ ( not that I am concerned about such things any longer).

 

[greenfairy]

[MENTION=4660]msg_v2[/MENTION], I experience a lot of that too, but I think I am much more emotionally involved in it if that makes sense. So you could be INFJ. Although I doubt it. What you say seems consistent enough with the other TP's in the thread. Not that you should care.

 

[JocktheMotie]

I largely find to Fe to get "in the way" of something that actually truly makes me happy. I've yet to really figure out a manner in which I can use Fe "in service of" Ti, rather than having something be the choice between the two.

Essentially, nearly ever poor decision in my life I can boil down to letting my emotions getting the best of me and overriding my sense on what I think I should do in a given situation. The general sentiment is, that if I just follow my head, everything will be okay.

Fe can continue to take a back seat.

The real problem is, I still treat Fe and "Fe-like" behaviors with complete disdain and absolute disrespect. I simply cannot accept anything that feels influenced by that attitude and I will reject it, or at least, try to grin and bear it while it eats away at my very soul.

 

[C.J.Woolf]

I largely find to Fe to get "in the way" of something that actually truly makes me happy. I've yet to really figure out a manner in which I can use Fe "in service of" Ti, rather than having something be the choice between the two.

Essentially, nearly ever poor decision in my life I can boil down to letting my emotions getting the best of me and overriding my sense on what I think I should do in a given situation. The general sentiment is, that if I just follow my head, everything will be okay.

Fe can continue to take a back seat.

The real problem is, I still treat Fe and "Fe-like" behaviors with complete disdain and absolute disrespect. I simply cannot accept anything that feels influenced by that attitude and I will reject it, or at least, try to grin and bear it while it eats away at my very soul.

You sound like me when I was younger. I agree that you shouldn't make decisions purely on impulse -- strong emotion screws up your judgment big time -- but I find my best decisions are not just well considered, they also feel right. Feelings are facts.

 

[Snickie]

Most of what my Fe does seems to be dictated by my enneagram rather than Ti, or maybe Ti just manifests itself through my enneagram. Either way, it either goes full on or full off, and there's rarely an in-between. Either it's off and I'll make a critique that ends up sounding more like "you suck go jump off a cliff" or crack a joke at the wrong time, or it's on and I defer to what everyone else wants because I don't want to speak for myself usually because Ti knows that, in that situation, what I want is inconsequential (that is to say, it doesn't/shouldn't matter). If I know it's off, I'll try to retreat into myself and shut everyone out.

 

[miss fortune]

oooh... I'm the first Fe tertiary to answer!

I'd call it charm really... Fe lets me collect more information than I would otherwise by getting people to tell me things that they might not otherwise... it also is very helpful in getting people to do things my way once I've made a decision. I'll admit that I tend to explain things to people in a very Ti way to get them to do things (with numbers and facts and figures), but Fe makes people CARE about those things when they might not otherwise... it allows me to make that something that they are personally invested in because I can chat with them in a very human way and make it about them if necessary.

I don't always trust it and I try to always stop myself from following it on an unanalyzed whim because I don't like to take action that I don't know for sure will go how I want for it to and because I have gotten burned by following it in the past and I suppose that I should trust it a bit more... it has, as I've gotten older, made me a bit more able to get along with people and find common ground and have the tendency to genuinely like most people... even the ones I'm told that I shouldn't.

in other words, Fe is my superpower and will likely be my undoing

 

[Lord Lavender]

For me Ti/Fe acts as a kind of regulating system. I often think of some Ti idea or observation that may be perceived as cruel or heartless then Fe comes along and makes me consider how it will be viewed by others. For instance i may think say something along the lines of "it would be effective to use homeless as community labour" then Fe makes me consider how that would be seen by people at large and how the homeless would feel about. In other words Fe is just to help me express Ti to the world without being seen as sociopathic or uncaring and also to help me connect with others via genuinely caring about them.

 

[entropie]

phony

 

[Teleologist]

First I decide on an analytical thought or feeling I want to communicate with Ti. Ne tells me if the people around me are interested in hearing it, or indeed if it's relevant to anything they might care about at all, i.e. if it's worth saying.

Once I've decided if it's worth saying I'll look around the room/situation and wait for Fe, which either gives me a green light, red light, or yellow to slow down and just rethink everything once more.

Fe supports Ti to the extent that it's able to keep Ti lighthearted and sociable, in spite of a tendency toward heaviness and seriousness inside. Ti supports Fe by learning to be quiet long enough for Fe to speak and then listening to what it says.

Sometimes Fe will bring up some embarrassing statement from my unconscious that contradicts everything I just said, so I try to always subject Fe to Ne whenever possible. Letting Fe have free reign with only Ti to stand up to it is never pretty.

 

[Poki]

You sound like me when I was younger. I agree that you shouldn't make decisions purely on impulse -- strong emotion screws up your judgment big time -- but I find my best decisions are not just well considered, they also feel right. Feelings are facts.

Feelings are facts just like water is brown.

 

[Psyclepath]

Ti is focused on understanding structures, observing patterns in how they work.

But, Ti doesn't dabble in anything external. Effectively, I use Fe to understand the patterns in how a structure works, what makes it tick. Being a Ti-dom, the Fe is very limited and heavily weighted by logical judgments.