Why do others hate INFJs?

[Forever]

I'd say that only a small percentage of people I know are acquainted with MBTI. I tend to be more relaxed and open than pessimistic. I am "earthy," and natural, or so people tell me, and apparently, that has a disarming, peaceful effect on a lot of people. I'm not honey sweet or anything, just easy and comfortable to be around.

Good to know I think also given that you have greater self-control can give people comfort in you. I do get random people telling their troubles to me, even though I know how they feel, I don't like to come across as phony because I may be in an entirely different situation currently.

 

[PeaceBaby]

... I and another user may have not liked her tactic but we resolved it nonetheless.

Fe / Te distinction: Rex wasn't using any kind of "tactic" with you. What I'm seeing in here is an overreaction, triggered by generalized comments not intended to convey specificity on you as an individual. What comes up for you when I say that?

 

[Forever]

Fe / Te distinction: Rex wasn't using any kind of "tactic" with you. What I'm seeing in here is an overreaction, triggered by generalized comments not intended to convey specificity on you as an individual. What comes up for you when I say that?

Sorry okay maybe my definition for tactic isn't right, I'm not feeling the best to start hurting other members because I need to prove myself on sheer logic. I think I understand it was best to not involve myself in the first place because I didn't properly introduce why I exploded in the first place, I understand myself better and it's not worth explaining when I'm still vulnerable and upset and the reason is NOT listed in these recent posts here.

But the likes have been tossed on all sides and there is a victor. I'm not here to look for hidden spoils. I just want peace.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Sorry okay maybe my definition for tactic isn't right, I'm not feeling the best to start hurting other members because I need to prove myself on sheer logic. I think I understand it was best to not involve myself in the first place because I didn't properly introduce why I exploded in the first place, I understand myself better and it's not worth explaining when I'm still vulnerable and upset and the reason is NOT listed in these recent posts here.

But the likes have been tossed on all sides and there is a victor. I'm not here to look for hidden spoils. I just want peace.

 

[Riva]

It's probably the horse they ride; it is known to be a bit too high.

Holy shit [MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION].

However, from what I have noticed they are really goodhearted, well intentioned people and are generally empathetic and kind.

The male INFJs however, are usually retardedly insane. Quite a few of them grow up probably feeling that they don't belong in the body of a man. This probably leads them to form mental barriers of mental reactions that come across as either reclusive, try hard (some pretend to be EXTXs) or just plain weird.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Maybe the thread title is misleading. Should say "Why do people hate unhealthy INFJs" or "Why do people hate pretentious, self-righteous people who claim to be INFJs"

That might eliminate a lot of potential butthurt and misunderstanding.

 

[PeaceBaby]

It's probably the horse they ride; it is known to be a bit too high.

Holy shit [MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION].

I hear you.

However, from what I have noticed they are really goodhearted, well intentioned people and are generally empathetic and kind.

The male INFJs however, are usually retardedly insane. Quite a few of them grow up probably feeling that they don't belong in the body of a man. This probably leads them to form mental barriers of mental reactions that come across as either reclusive, try hard (some pretend to be EXTXs) or just plain weird.

Why are you saying that about male INFJs though? [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] is a guy, so he's going to think you're pointing that comment straight at him. I think he'd prefer getting kicked by my horse than being struck by your comment, unless it's totally tongue-in-cheek. And if it is intended that way, holy shit, it's not that obvious.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

That said, like I mentioned in the PM I sent you, I can see why your identification with your type could make this feel like such a personal attack, and I did apologize for that. It nonetheless doesn't change the experiences that I've had with INFJs, nor what I believe about unhealthy people of that type as a result of it.

First, yes, we can be phenomenal pains in the asses in much the way WUR described. There's quite a bit of questionable 'feedback' about INFJs in this forum, but I do think the initial post that started this spate of bickering is actually more based on reality than the usual reason. But I don't think this (bolded) is necessarily the reason Forever is getting wound up. And- even supposing the bolded were true- it's never really productive to post assumptions about why someone else is doing something.

eta: Point being, you are baiting, however inadvertently. /eta

Unhealthy INFJ's can be just as shitty as any other unhealthy type.

/hateover

I've been saying this, ever since I joined really- it actually is mindbogglingly infuriating to deal with batshit INFJs. I think, actually, that all NFs and ENTPs have their own distinct potential for being exceptionally, stunningly manipulative in their own way. The ego has amazing ways of protecting itself, and I think being an N can make those narratives even more creative. And NTJs- they do get equally as "shitty", but they don't really get manipulative (largely because they can't be bothered to pay enough attention to how people work to figure out how to manipulate), they just get directly mean.

But the point is- they're not wrong. I've had INFJs- that I actually considered friends- pull absolutely bizarre *magic messages* from between the lines of things I said like no other 'type'. It was more about their past- they were either projecting or combining their past (childhood, likely) experience with my words, and the product was so completely disorienting that I'm still stunned. For more reasons than I'm willing to type out here, but probably mostly because their conviction- that they heard what they think they heard, without beginning to realize how much their own imagination added- was so solid and impermeable that it was pointless to even try to point it out to them. <- That only has happened with other INFJs.

Don't get me wrong- I personally actually find NFP and ENTP manipulation of shared reality (to protect the ego) to be the most baiting and offensive. But what Rex is saying- there's a lot of truth to it.

 

[Riva]

Why are you saying that about male INFJs though? [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] is a guy, so he's going to think you're pointing that comment straight at him. I think he'd prefer getting kicked by my horse than being struck by your comment, unless it's totally tongue-in-cheek. And if it is intended that way, holy shit, it's not that obvious.

Because I have noticed it over and over again. I was being quite harsh when I said retardedly insane. Perhaps I should have said insanely-conflicted instead.

This is the second time today I said that.

INFJ women on the otherhand are quite lucky. It's as though, they have blessed been with every trait a man stereotypically expects from a woman. Feminine (I would argue that they are the most feminine type), empathetic, well mannered, polite, intuitive (people might call it a woman's intuition), gentle regarding feelings of others etc etc..

It's only when you get close to them you'd realize that they ride a high horse. However, some (if not most) are quite good at keeping it under control. Perhaps they know - being quite introspective - that they have standards a bit too high and that they should not mistake their hypersensitivity to be rudeness of others.

 

[Eilonwy]

INFJs have a particular set of skills that make them especially noxious when they're broken and simultaneously inured to any sort of moderating outside influences.

People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place.

Again, that's not the point.

If someone said in a thread that was about why people disliked ENTJs "ENTJs can be massive dicks when they're unbalanced." I wouldn't immediately assume that a) that I was the ENTJ that was being discussed, b) that the other person was out of line for saying what they said, or c) I'd need the other person to admit their own flaws to acknowledge the validity of their viewpoint.

All that c) accomplishes is to shift the focus of the conversation in such a way to make it appear that the other party lacks the "credibility" to make any sort of claim to begin with. It's controlling the conversation and it's utterly irrelevant to the point that's being discussed.

That said, like I mentioned in the PM I sent you, I can see why your identification with your type could make this feel like such a personal attack, and I did apologize for that. It nonetheless doesn't change the experiences that I've had with INFJs, nor what I believe about unhealthy people of that type as a result of it.

If you had stopped at the bolded in your first quote, I would agree that your first quote is equivalent to the bolded being said about ENTJs in your second quote. Adding your opinion about "People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place." was insulting and took your valid criticism into an unnecessary emotional arena, imo. *Perhaps your inferior Fi having its say?

*ETA: I ask this about inferior Fi as a valid question. I'm trying to see if this is why that particular communication stung so much.

 

[PeaceBaby]

My experience with the shared reality is that Je types super-love it when that "manipulation" suits what they want to see happen in the outer world. Pe types can satisfy every immediate need you have, know how to make "now" wonderful, generally speaking (relevant to the strengths of each respective Pe dom and aux strength of course.)

But when the shit hits the fan? When Pe types get caught in a pickle of a long-term consequence? The worst part can be that we did all the short-term things to be helpful, but all of that is sometimes thrown out the window and forgotten. So, fuck that. Pe helping make your NOW optimized and nice has real value. Ungrateful sots.

btw, saying that every type has strengths and weaknesses is a Ti fail of the obvious. OF COURSE they do.

 

[Forever]

If you had stopped at the bolded in your first quote, I would agree that your first quote is equivalent to the bolded being said about ENTJs in your second quote. Adding your opinion about "People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place." was insulting and took your valid criticism into an unnecessary emotional arena, imo. *Perhaps your inferior Fi having its say?

*ETA: I ask this about inferior Fi as a valid question. I'm trying to see if this is why that particular communication stung so much.

On point. That added sentence was like asking for a fight. Had she just left the first sentence alone I would've been like "meh" sometimes I'm not even concerned about the message if the intent is so off.

Edit: to make it even clearer, the mental institution is the added sentence I am referring to.
I am now going to explicit the implicit now:

What saying that "we" are the cause for mental institution implies that we are the only mentally sick people in the world and if you are any of the 15 other types, you're safe/or a much lower chance from being mentally sick and having disorders.

Do you see how someone could get upset if they're the only type who is not "safe"? What if I was mentally sick and trying to fight it, I'm suddenly a monster? That makes me want to punch a wall, oh wait no I can't, I'll be institutionalized. But any of the other 15 types of course can.

It could also be interpreted we are the prevalent cause of mental illness. Whatever, but it's all done.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

And NTJs- they do get equally as "shitty", but they don't really get manipulative (largely because they can't be bothered to pay enough attention to how people work to figure out how to manipulate), they just get directly mean.

Sometimes it's easier to deal with "bossy" TJs than to deal with less overtly bossy, but more manipulative types, IME.

 

[Starry]

Alright. This is clearly getting a little out of hand.

^^I hate it when NTPs do this. Hate.

(Is there a NTP hate thread I can get busy in?)

 

[violet_crown]

First, yes, we can be phenomenal pains in the asses in much the way WUR described. There's quite a bit of questionable 'feedback' about INFJs in this forum, but I do think the initial post that started this spate of bickering is actually more based on reality than the usual reason. But I don't think this (bolded) is necessarily the reason Forever is getting wound up. And- even supposing the bolded were true- it's never really productive to post assumptions about why someone else is doing something.

eta: Point being, you are baiting, however inadvertently. /eta

I said what I said about why Forever because he told me as much explicitly out of thread. I'm not an INFJ so I don't presume a mystical window into anyone's soul.

If you had stopped at the bolded in your first quote, I would agree that your first quote is equivalent to the bolded being said about ENTJs in your second quote. Adding your opinion about "People like them are the reason mental institutions were invented in the first place." was insulting and took your valid criticism into an unnecessary emotional arena, imo. *Perhaps your inferior Fi having its say?

*ETA: I ask this about inferior Fi as a valid question. I'm trying to see if this is why that particular communication stung so much.

It didn't really land actually. Simply because it wasn't as charged of a statement as you interpreted it to be.

If a person's mental health makes them a danger to themselves and others, they can't be reasoned with and believe they're "righteous" in the harm they're doing, then that person should be removed from the general population. Especially if it's to a place where there are those trained to deal with them.

If you can agree with the initial portion of that statement then the conclusion I arrive at is actually pretty reasonable.

 

[Starry]

Oh, and I'd also like directions to the Canadian hate thread...please. thanks.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Oh, and I'd also like directions to the Canadian hate thread...please. thanks.

Now I'm offended too (since I'm Canadian, and reading between the lines this means you must surely hate me now too, and pointed this in my direction because we've had conflict in the past!)

HOW COULD YOU STARRY?

 

[Starry]

Now I'm offended too (since I'm Canadian, and reading between the lines this means you must surely hate me now too, and pointed this in my direction because we've had conflict in the past!)

HOW COULD YOU STARRY?

haha!

(If the topic wasn't "hate"...I would totally create the "Canadian thread" because of Ne)

 

[Eilonwy]

It didn't really land actually. Simply because it wasn't as charged of a statement as you interpreted it to be.

If a person's mental health makes them a danger to themselves and others, they can't be reasoned with and believe they're "righteous" in the harm they're doing, then that person should be removed from the general population. Especially if it's to a place where there are those trained to deal with them.

If you can agree with the initial portion of that statement then the conclusion I arrive at is actually pretty reasonable.

I don't know what you mean by "It didn't really land actually." Would you explain, please?

Okay. I see where you were coming from on your second sentence now (what I called your opinion). I definitely didn't interpret it in the way you just explained. My initial thought is that my way of thinking sees what you said as A-->C, and I don't automatically see the B that's in between, so I misinterpret. I need to go back and re-read your OP again.

Thanks for explaining.

ETA: I interpreted it as a value statement. I would like to figure out why it came across as such--if it was just my way of interpreting and it wasn't a value statement at all, or if it was a value statement and I'm missing something somewhere else.

 

[Riva]

We really do need a Canadian hate thread.

I hate them for stealing a shit ton of nice girls from my country.

When I said stealing I meant giving them visa, not kidnapping them and using them as sex slaves.