Would you choose to have a T or F child?

[527468]

I don't care! Where's that in this? If I had to pick I might go with F. More chance of becoming a musical prodigy.

 

[Uytuun]

I would grab me a male F child, I'd love an ESFP one, even. Little charmers. We could learn from each other.

INTJ child doesn't really appeal to me, although it would basically be as if no one was there.

 

[raz]

This made me think about the type assortment in me and my siblings. I have an ESFJ sister, ENFJ sister and ESFP brother. If you look at that, I'm the only I and T. I'm a pretty interesting one out of the bunch for my ESFJ mother and INTJ father. If I had to make a choice, I think I'd want an F. Even though I'm a T, I think I'd have some fun with an F child, having to deal with someone that's not like me.

Another way to look at it, though, the whole 9 months and the years after to find out their orientation, I'd be praying for an introvert. I'd want a feeler if they were introverted. I could deal with an extraverted feeler, but I'd prefer an introvert. I could easily deal with an ExTx.

 

[Snow Turtle]

I'd like a borderline F child.

 

[cascadeco]

Haven't read anyone elses responses, but I find this question asinine. I really wouldn't care whether I had a T child or an F child, and if forced to choose, well, I haven't a clue, and truly don't have a preference. I find great, admirable qualities in both.

 

[raz]

Haven't read anyone elses responses, but I find this question asinine. I really wouldn't care whether I had a T child or an F child, and if forced to choose, well, I haven't a clue, and truly don't have a preference. I find great, admirable qualities in both.

We knew what you feelers would say to such a question. So predictable.

 

[cascadeco]

Eh... I think it's more that the thread enforces the F/T stereotypes themselves, as if all T children are going to embody this amazing grasp of logic and all F children are going to be caring and kind. Put differently, I think when people envision F, some might envision overly dramatic/emotional, and some might envision overly accommodating. And when people envision T, some might envision calculating and cold, others might envision unemotional robots,others super-logicians, etc. It's simply not the case. I've met ridiculously silly T's with emotional outbursts, and extremely logical F's.

So that's why I really don't have a preference. The actual way the T/F plays out is highly dependent on the E/I, N/S and J/P as well, there's so much individual variance and other psychological factors outside of mbti, and it's just not a rigid system to begin with.

 

[LucrativeSid]

Cascadmn, this thread does not enforce stereotypes. And it doesn't ask about preferences, either. What it does do is show the multitude of different ways that people react to hypothetical questions. It also can offer us a glimpse of deep rooted stereotypes that already exist based on the reasons for the answers chosen, and it allows us to examine our own assumptions. We don't know what kind of factors would go into decisions that we'd never make on our own, but when we're forced, something hidden emerges.

It's purely hypothetical, and it's stated that you absolutely have to choose one or the other, so it's clearly not about preference or stereotype, and by the nature of the way it's phrased, every answer is equally valid and interesting. Even non-answers.

I think I said somewhere in this thread before that I could have said that you have to choose one or the other or the baby will be killed - but I had no idea that people would find it so excruciatingly difficult to answer a hypothetical question. This phenomenon was perhaps one of the most amazing discoveries, but there's many more to be made if one is willing to analyze the seven pages of replies.

Thanks, everyone, for your continued participation. Next time I will make adjustments.

 

[Riva]

i want to have ENFJ kids.

fun, kind, loving, smart, creative, ambitious blah blah blah

and the most importantly they DO THEIR HOMEWORK without you having to tell them to.

 

[Shadow]

Eh... I think it's more that the thread enforces the F/T stereotypes themselves, as if all T children are going to embody this amazing grasp of logic and all F children are going to be caring and kind. Put differently, I think when people envision F, some might envision overly dramatic/emotional, and some might envision overly accommodating. And when people envision T, some might envision calculating and cold, others might envision unemotional robots,others super-logicians, etc. It's simply not the case. I've met ridiculously silly T's with emotional outbursts, and extremely logical F's.

So that's why I really don't have a preference. The actual way the T/F plays out is highly dependent on the E/I, N/S and J/P as well, there's so much individual variance and other psychological factors outside of mbti, and it's just not a rigid system to begin with.

Agree.
I honestly don't mind what my children will be. I'd just be grateful I had children. Everyone has plus points and everyone has negative points, much as some would deny it.

 

[LucrativeSid]

Another way to look at it, though, the whole 9 months and the years after to find out their orientation, I'd be praying for an introvert. I'd want a feeler if they were introverted. I could deal with an extraverted feeler, but I'd prefer an introvert. I could easily deal with an ExTx.

Interesting. Your decision is primarily based off of what would be more pleasurable for you as a parent and not what would be the most beneficial for the child?

Not that it would ruin anything... As he/she said: (Although I don't think anyone denies it.)

Everyone has plus points and everyone has negative points, much as some would deny it.

I'm not trying to pick on you, Raz, or be disagreeable. I think your answer is perfect. This is a hypothetical question, after all. I could have quoted anybody. It just makes me wonder how many decisions parents make for their children because of what they, the parents, want.

On the one hand, it's not that bad, and it's quite common. The parent has to stay sane to be a good parent! Obviously they can't deny themselves. But there's nothing worse than making a kid play football if he likes art more, or making them become a doctor if they want to be a musician. A lot of daily decisions parents make are completely selfish in nature, and those little things have to add up in a big way. I had one parent, that while very giving and loving, made selfish decisions regarding me a lot without even realizing it, while the other rarely ever did that.

The most interesting statistic that this poll has produced so far is that a whopping 80% of those polled voted for their kid to be what they are. That's pretty significant. It might be even higher, too, if the people who refused to vote had actually made a decision. We really like our own perspectives, don't we?

 

[Cenomite]

Hah, interesting correlation

 

[raz]

Interesting. Your decision is primarily based off of what would be more pleasurable for you as a parent and not what would be the most beneficial for the child?

Not that it would ruin anything... As he/she said: (Although I don't think anyone denies it.)



I'm not trying to pick on you, Raz, or be disagreeable. I think your answer is perfect. This is a hypothetical question, after all. I could have quoted anybody. It just makes me wonder how many decisions parents make for their children because of what they, the parents, want.

On the one hand, it's not that bad, and it's quite common. The parent has to stay sane to be a good parent! Obviously they can't deny themselves. But there's nothing worse than making a kid play football if he likes art more, or making them become a doctor if they want to be a musician. A lot of daily decisions parents make are completely selfish in nature, and those little things have to add up in a big way. I had one parent, that while very giving and loving, made selfish decisions regarding me a lot without even realizing it, while the other rarely ever did that.

The most interesting statistic that this poll has produced so far is that a whopping 80% of those polled voted for their kid to be what they are. That's pretty significant. It might be even higher, too, if the people who refused to vote had actually made a decision. We really like our own perspectives, don't we?

Did I miss the point of the thread or something then? In regard to pushing things on the child that they don't want to do, I wouldn't do that. That's part of the point of typology, understanding and supporting. I took the question as what I would want and how their decision making dichotomy would affect me. Once I started raising them, I would focus on their preferences but also devote time to their opposites.

I looked at it as raising a health T vs. raising a healthy F. Like I said, once you get further into actual types, I get more picky. ExFx's are more frustrating to me than ExTx's obviously, but an IxFx is definitely doable.

 

[Halla74]

I would rather be able to think through my feelings, then feel through an organic chemistry exam.

 

[raz]

I would rather be able to think through my feelings, then feel through an organic chemistry exam.

Yoda says, "Sense, you do not make."

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I would rather be able to think through my feelings, then feel through an organic chemistry exam.

I've felt my way through orgo exams. I just "felt" that I had the mechanisms right and my intermediates were correct. It worked pretty well.

Eh... I think it's more that the thread enforces the F/T stereotypes themselves, as if all T children are going to embody this amazing grasp of logic and all F children are going to be caring and kind [...]

I agree 100 percent with this post.

 

[raz]

I've felt my way through orgo exams. I just "felt" that I had the mechanisms right and my intermediates were correct. It worked pretty well.

Silly INFJ, confusing intuition with feelings.

 

[sculpting]

I totally would pick a thinker. My first son is an ENFP. He drives me insane. My god the kid is so damned emo.

The second kid is a little thinker of some sort and we mesh much better.

The other day it occured to me that we gets a lot of discretion in who we pick for our mate and spend lots of time finding a compatible partner.

With kids we are pretty much screwed as we get stuck with whatever pops out. It doesn't matter how much you don't like that person or their personality, you are stuck for the next 18 years at least dealing with them. Considering the avarage marriage lasts 5 years, that's a lot of commitment to a person you haven't met and can't predict.

(13 year old enfp for sale. works hard. sort of. well not really. messy, emo, and moody like a PMSing woman)

 

[NewEra]

I've felt my way through orgo exams. I just "felt" that I had the mechanisms right and my intermediates were correct. It worked pretty well.

That's because you have high Ni. My mom (INFJ) is the same way, she can almost predict stuff happening, it's scary in a way lol. Like she can almost tell ahead of time if something's going to work out or if it's not. It's because your brains are used differently (of course same with the other 15 types).

 

[Moiety]

I totally would pick a thinker. My first son is an ENFP. He drives me insane. My god the kid is so damned emo.

The second kid is a little thinker of some sort and we mesh much better.

The other day it occured to me that we gets a lot of discretion in who we pick for our mate and spend lots of time finding a compatible partner.

With kids we are pretty much screwed as we get stuck with whatever pops out. It doesn't matter how much you don't like that person or their personality, you are stuck for the next 18 years at least dealing with them. Considering the avarage marriage lasts 5 years, that's a lot of commitment to a person you haven't met and can't predict.

(13 year old enfp for sale. works hard. sort of. well not really. messy, emo, and moody like a PMSing woman)

Why not see it as an opportunity to educate someone who you intrinsically (usually) love? Why is he so emo, have you asked yourself that?

I'm an F and was very calm as a child (a troublemaker and had an authority problem but calm for the most part) . This has nothing to do with being an F or a T. Healthy Fs are in control of their emotions. More so than the average T, I'd venture.

And to answer the topic question, if given the choice I wouldn't choose, but assuming I'd do a good job with my children, I'd prefer they would grow into F adults than T adults... maybe. Only because Fs tend to be more concerned with others and the world needs more heroes. I know that sounds cheesy but whatever.