Ne-Doms Struggle With Si Inferior...WTH?!

[Redbone]

Ne-doms, I want to hear about your experiences with Si when it starts to slap you upside the head and you find yourself in its stranglehold. How does it happen? How do you get out of it?

I notice that I get really scared that I am forgetting some important detail and that I'm going to bring the whole plan crashing down because I overlooked it. So I get out my super-fine mental comb and go over it again. And again. And again. And something that should take me an hour to do takes me an entire day to do. I can't bring myself to finish something because I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something. I don't trust myself. I feel SUPER inadequate about my ability to keep all the details in order to get things accomplished. It's really bad right now. How am I supposed to keep all this/these details in order--work, family, and pretty soon again, school?

EDIT: I forgot to add, the first thing I will try to do is prioritize. This never freaking works because when I say, "Now serving Number 1 " everything has Number 1 ticket! Okay, well who has 1.1 ticket? Everybody...just crazy. Everything on my needs taking care of list is at the number one slot and I exhaust myself trying to get it all done and end up squandering much of my energy and resources running around trying to cover all bases. I'm getting better at not doing this but the emotional/anxiety push I feel from inside shouting NOW can be really hard to handle and I still fold to it more often than I would like.

Where's the exit sign for this? My anxiety levels are off the charts right now...

How do the rest of you experience this? How do you cope?

 

[five sounds]

Coming back. I feel you.

 

[five sounds]

Ne-doms, I want to hear about your experiences with Si when it starts to slap you upside the head and you find yourself in its stranglehold. How does it happen? How do you get out of it?

ok. back. YES. this shit sucks.

it happens when i feel like getting the details right is *crucial*, and there's a lot of them, all at once. i end up feeling really overwhelmed, kinda self-doubty, and very stressed out. when i was in my masters program, it was an intensive program (clinical plus course work at once, kicked out if you got a B- or lower on anything), and i did it the wrong way. i did my best to maintain my "i've got this" veneer on the outside because i was afraid of anyone knowing how fundamentally unable to do it i believed myself to be. i felt like a total mess, like i was failing miserably and was completely disorganized and unknowledgeable, and i let those feelings keep me from sharing in the experience and being supported and helped along by my classmates. < - that is how not to do it lol.

I notice that I get really scared that I am forgetting some important detail and that I'm going to bring the whole plan crashing down because I overlooked it. So I get out my super-fine mental comb and go over it again. And again. And again. And something that should take me an hour to do takes me an entire day to do. I can't bring myself to finish something because I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something. I don't trust myself. I feel SUPER inadequate about my ability to keep all the details in order to get things accomplished. It's really bad right now. How am I supposed to keep all this/these details in order--work, family, and pretty soon again, school?

so what i've tried to do when this comes up now, after my "learning experience" we'll call it, is a) be honest about my feelings, and get support. this isn't a strong suit for me. it's scary and overwhelming and i'm prone to error. so i get emotional support by being open about it, and i get practical support by asking for help. "hey can you look this over for me?" or "on that assignment we have, do you have xyz?"

the other thing is, realizing that the whole ship probably won't go down if you mess one thing up. even if it's big. even if it's more than one thing. i mean sure, there's a point where things are fucked, but in a lot of cases, if there's an error, it can be remedied. or the consequences aren't going to be so massive that everything's ruined.

this is all still hard for me. but that's what i'm working on.

EDIT: I forgot to add, the first thing I will try to do is prioritize. This never freaking works because when I say, "Now serving Number 1 " everything has Number 1 ticket! Okay, well who has 1.1 ticket? Everybody...just crazy. Everything on my needs taking care of list is at the number one slot and I exhaust myself trying to get it all done and end up squandering much of my energy and resources running around trying to cover all bases. I'm getting better at not doing this but the emotional/anxiety push I feel from inside shouting NOW can be really hard to handle and I still fold to it more often than I would like.

Where's the exit sign for this? My anxiety levels are off the charts right now...

How do the rest of you experience this? How do you cope?

haha, omg the prioritizing thing. i can't even tell you how much i relate to that. i don't have any real answers for you because i struggle in the same way. but sometimes i feel like letting myself bounce around between tasks can help a little. like take three number 1 tickets and put them all in front of you, and just kinda work on one til you feel fed up, then switch to another, then another, then take a break, then another, etc.

one final thought is not expecting myself to do these kinds of things perfectly and consistently. look, i'm an Ne dom, and using Si can be done when needed, but it's absolutely draining and not sustainable. sometimes you have no choice, but when you do, there's no shame in taking the Ne road.

 

[indra]

the jungian mode of suppression (inferior sense) would be that intuitive-doms operate as blinded horses do - one track mind. the vision is paramount.

i can see many types struggling with these concerns...

except maybe sense doms. they just don't give a fuck.

just realized i didn't provide help for the actual problem at hand. it's hard to say without specifics, i think there are tactics for each scenario, i would say - pick something infallibly utilitarian, something you are sure must be done, and do it. let the rest fall into the cohesive whole as it develops.

There's always the 'T' route - research method.

 

[five sounds]

one track mind. the vision is paramount.

also this. this is good. keeping my sights broad can make the details into little hurdles to mindlessly jump as i'm running toward my greater vision.

i see blue. he looks glorious!

 

[Avocado]

ok. back. YES. this shit sucks.

it happens when i feel like getting the details right is *crucial*, and there's a lot of them, all at once. i end up feeling really overwhelmed, kinda self-doubty, and very stressed out. when i was in my masters program, it was an intensive program (clinical plus course work at once, kicked out if you got a B- or lower on anything), and i did it the wrong way. i did my best to maintain my "i've got this" veneer on the outside because i was afraid of anyone knowing how fundamentally unable to do it i believed myself to be. i felt like a total mess, like i was failing miserably and was completely disorganized and unknowledgeable, and i let those feelings keep me from sharing in the experience and being supported and helped along by my classmates. < - that is how not to do it lol.


so what i've tried to do when this comes up now, after my "learning experience" we'll call it, is a) be honest about my feelings, and get support. this isn't a strong suit for me. it's scary and overwhelming and i'm prone to error. so i get emotional support by being open about it, and i get practical support by asking for help. "hey can you look this over for me?" or "on that assignment we have, do you have xyz?"

the other thing is, realizing that the whole ship probably won't go down if you mess one thing up. even if it's big. even if it's more than one thing. i mean sure, there's a point where things are fucked, but in a lot of cases, if there's an error, it can be remedied. or the consequences aren't going to be so massive that everything's ruined.

this is all still hard for me. but that's what i'm working on.



haha, omg the prioritizing thing. i can't even tell you how much i relate to that. i don't have any real answers for you because i struggle in the same way. but sometimes i feel like letting myself bounce around between tasks can help a little. like take three number 1 tickets and put them all in front of you, and just kinda work on one til you feel fed up, then switch to another, then another, then take a break, then another, etc.

one final thought is not expecting myself to do these kinds of things perfectly and consistently. look, i'm an Ne dom, and using Si can be done when needed, but it's absolutely draining and not sustainable. sometimes you have no choice, but when you do, there's no shame in taking the Ne road.

I also have trouble prioritizing, but I've found coldly detatching myself from the situation and performing a cost-benefit analysis helps a lot, whatever function that is. My emotions are good for more short-term, non-serious things.

 

[Redbone]

I also have trouble prioritizing, but I've found coldly detatching myself from the situation and performing a cost-benefit analysis helps a lot, whatever function that is. My emotions are good for more short-term, non-serious things.

I do, too. I think what really bothers me is when I am doing it in spaces and places where there is no let up. No breaks...just going like this for weeks on end and feeling dazed from going beyond burn-out.

 

[Avocado]

I do, too. I think what really bothers me is when I am doing it in spaces and places where there is no let up. No breaks...just going like this for weeks on end and feeling dazed from going beyond burn-out.

I hate times like tat, as well.

 

[Amargith]

Re OP:

YUP. Im finding myself...turning into a mini STJ though now that Im...shall we say, maturing? And I hate the stick in the mud that I can be because of that (coz, lets face it, i suck at being an STJ ), but I'll admit that I'm getting more into the gritting my teeth and trudging through the mud and get shit done.

I find that it helps though to have your Fi fully riddled out on what you're trying to do/accomplish as it helps to keep Ne tangents in check and priorities clear. I find that it's impossible to structurally work towards something if my Fi isn't sure. And Ne just happily takes advantage of that to go nuts and follow each 'shiny' it can find as that is way more interesting than trudging

That said, when the stars align...man, is it beautiful - and god, do you feel powerful

 

[Cimarron]

I don't have the issue with prioritizing, but I do have a kind of nervous/repetitive tic sometimes where I keep going over the same thing to make sure it's perfect. Like reading the same word over and over again until it "looks right" in the scan of my vision.

/butting in

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

I have so many stories. I'll try to distill--

- When one little detail in my plan is wrong, it totally ruins the whole thing for me. I start getting disproportionately depressed and impulsive about it; I've been known to call off entire life projects because one little thing doesn't align. Example, I called off an entire 3-day trip in some ancient ruins because I was supposed to start at 10 am, but my bike malfunctioned and it was more like 11:30 before I got started. Not good enough. I left for another, better, city. It's completely disproportionate.

- Being oblivious to details, including in my personal appearance. I was recently yelled at, at work, for having scruffy hair and chipped nail polish for instance, which I literally did not even notice. And I was trying to look my very best! It was extremely demoralizing to be told to always be polishing myself up, trying that, then being told that I overlooked a million things and I still wasn't good enough. My inferiority piqued, I very nearly up and quit and left the country. GIVE UP NOW, trying is the first step in the road to Failure. It feels like torture always having to be attuned to this stuff.

- When deadlines start getting tight, I can lose my sense of proportion, e.g., getting fussy with the punctuation on a written assignment. I like...start crying with frustration and desperation, one mistake means I need to start all over, it's the end of the world. People think I am horribly perfectionistic and idealistic because of this propensity. Have been considered for an enneagram 1.

- Having dark visions of the future because the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. I've had a rough life in some ways and when I remember too many painful things I start getting depressed, dwelling in it, and become convinced that my future is doomed to suck because the past always has. (I was particularly like this in college, and I don't think it's a mistake I tested as Introverting-Sensing on the MBTI during this time.)

- ISTJs who spout off every fact known to man make me feel like an idiot. I lost a valuable relationship once, because my friend was so intent on telling me everything he knew about everything that I assumed I was a stupid airhead with nothing intelligent to say. I completely withdrew and refused to interact lest my incompetency show. I had no idea he'd feel the same about my Ne!

- The hypochondria thing is so true of me that this is what sealed Ne-dom for me. I tend to over-feel varying parts of my digestive tract and think I'm getting sick. Usually, there's some other physical need I'm repressing. I also get panicky in general--I've spent the last...oh, 20 years utterly convinced I'm developing cancer. Diseases scare me.

You asked how I get out of this? Basically, the only thing you can do is realize you're having an attack and try to wait till it blows over. Your sense of proportion will realign and, once again, all things will seem possible. At least that's how it is for me.

 

[Nymphie]

I find it extremely difficult to pay attention to one thing at once unless something can completely engage me at once (and few things can). I have to write numerous to-do lists to remember to do things because I lose them otherwise. My room looks like a bomb exploded, and not a nuclear one like my ISTJ mother where there's nothing left behind. Procrastination is my middle name‒I can't do something unless I feel like it. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating through the constraints of time and space on a different plane of existence.

I'm not high,
Don't blame me.
I don't have ADD,
Just inferior Si.*​

*This does in fact rhyme because I've always thought of it not as "introverted sensing" but like the the letter "c."

 

[Avocado]

I find it extremely difficult to pay attention to one thing at once unless something can completely engage me at once (and few things can). I have to write numerous to-do lists to remember to do things because I lose them otherwise. My room looks like a bomb exploded, and not a nuclear one like my ISTJ mother where there's nothing left behind. Procrastination is my middle name‒I can't do something unless I feel like it. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating through the constraints of time and space on a different plane of existence.

I'm not high,
Don't blame me.
I don't have ADD,
Just inferior Si.*​

*This does in fact rhyme because I've always thought of it not as "introverted sensing" but like the the letter "c."

"Si" rhymes with "high"

 

[Avocado]

I have so many stories. I'll try to distill--

- When one little detail in my plan is wrong, it totally ruins the whole thing for me. I start getting disproportionately depressed and impulsive about it; I've been known to call off entire life projects because one little thing doesn't align. Example, I called off an entire 3-day trip in some ancient ruins because I was supposed to start at 10 am, but my bike malfunctioned and it was more like 11:30 before I got started. Not good enough. I left for another, better, city. It's completely disproportionate.

- Being oblivious to details, including in my personal appearance. I was recently yelled at, at work, for having scruffy hair and chipped nail polish for instance, which I literally did not even notice. And I was trying to look my very best! It was extremely demoralizing to be told to always be polishing myself up, trying that, then being told that I overlooked a million things and I still wasn't good enough. My inferiority piqued, I very nearly up and quit and left the country. GIVE UP NOW, trying is the first step in the road to Failure. It feels like torture always having to be attuned to this stuff.

- When deadlines start getting tight, I can lose my sense of proportion, e.g., getting fussy with the punctuation on a written assignment. I like...start crying with frustration and desperation, one mistake means I need to start all over, it's the end of the world. People think I am horribly perfectionistic and idealistic because of this propensity. Have been considered for an enneagram 1.

- Having dark visions of the future because the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. I've had a rough life in some ways and when I remember too many painful things I start getting depressed, dwelling in it, and become convinced that my future is doomed to suck because the past always has. (I was particularly like this in college, and I don't think it's a mistake I tested as Introverting-Sensing on the MBTI during this time.)

- ISTJs who spout off every fact known to man make me feel like an idiot. I lost a valuable relationship once, because my friend was so intent on telling me everything he knew about everything that I assumed I was a stupid airhead with nothing intelligent to say. I completely withdrew and refused to interact lest my incompetency show. I had no idea he'd feel the same about my Ne!

- The hypochondria thing is so true of me that this is what sealed Ne-dom for me. I tend to over-feel varying parts of my digestive tract and think I'm getting sick. Usually, there's some other physical need I'm repressing. I also get panicky in general--I've spent the last...oh, 20 years utterly convinced I'm developing cancer. Diseases scare me.

You asked how I get out of this? Basically, the only thing you can do is realize you're having an attack and try to wait till it blows over. Your sense of proportion will realign and, once again, all things will seem possible. At least that's how it is for me.

All of this, except I spout off facts, too, especially interesting ones…

 

[Redbone]

All of this, except I spout off facts, too, especially interesting ones…

I wonder if that's Si humming in the background...I do this, too. Random stuff...but completely disorganized.

 

[Avocado]

I wonder if that's Si humming in the background...I do this, too. Random stuff...but completely disorganized.

Exactly

 

[Forever_Jung]

I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I get really stressed, I become convinced I'm balding or that I somehow have male cellulite, and then when I feel better, my hairline magically returns to normal and my "cellulite" disappears.

I can multiply double digit numbers in my head, but I can't seem to count by ones when I'm balancing the registers at the end of the night. I always second-guess myself.

When I gift wrap parcels at work, I often start sweating profusely in sheer terror. If a customer is watching me wrap a rather difficult item, I often will drip right on the parcel. Every time someone asks me to wrap a gift, I get butterflies. This is despite the fact that I have wrapped countless packages over several years, and I'm not even bad at wrapping.

On nights when I close up the store, I often have nightmares that I get in big trouble for forgetting one crucial detail before going home (forgot to lock the doors, for example).

If I am bombarded with details and nitpicking and complicated instructions, I almost want to cry. In fact, if you put me in that situation, let me flail around for a while, and then criticize my failures, I would probably cry.

 

[thistlechaser]

I'll preface by saying that I'm on meds, so keep that in mind. Si is still an issue for me, but it's a manageable one. I start to notice when I'm in the grips of it when my friends get their really concerned faces on and ask things like, "Can you please not take pictures while you're driving?" or "Are you wearing the same clothes you were wearing 3 days ago?" To which I look down and realize, "oh shit--but can it please just wait until after I finish taking notes about this theory of the colors and textures that time and space has?" Eventually, I tend to forget to pay bills and my phone, internet, and hot water will get shut off. Dealing with those repercussions has the positive effect of minimizing my Ne-feeds while at home, forcing me to pay attention to all that useless Si body-data.

I start noticing that I'm hungry. That my dog's fur is soft. That I could clean my dishes more than once a week and that would actually be less disgusting and make things easier for me. I realize that my apartment isn't organized very efficiently, and maybe I could move a lamp closer to my couch instead of hovering somewhere half on, half off the couch while trying to wedge myself between a stack of books and a stack of dishes on the couch.

I start feeling out the warm things, the soft things, the yummy things in my environment. And reveling in them. Hot fudge sundaes, holy shit those things are amazing. But seriously--stop reading and go eat something yummy! That will help you get in touch with your Si side more than analyzing about how to get in touch with your Si and cope with Ne overload. If that doesn't work, try a warm thing or soft thing. Rinse, repeat. Your ideas and stimulation can wait, I promise. You won't figure the world out in a half hour. But your body sure could use the TLC. If you can't feel pleasure from these things, you're probably taking on too much or you need to see a therapist to get out some of the stress you probably are carrying around but don't notice until something breaks down. When your body is cared for, you don't need to obsess so much over the details.

I also tend to let other people handle those types of tasks and focus on having most of my days unstructured when I can have that. Each day, I leave some open time where I can do whatever strikes my fancy on a whim. It's really refreshing to be able to take off down some train tracks and take pictures, or drive down a street I don't normally go down, make lots of connections and see lots of new things to feel like I'm not stagnating. I have more composure for the short amounts of (anticipated) time I am spending looking at details. I tell people that they can't expect me to get things well with details and that I can't be counted on for that sort of thing. I find more friends who are good with that sort of thing and drop the ones have fits of hysterics over my spaciness.

Hope that helps.

 

[Avocado]

I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I get really stressed, I become convinced I'm balding or that I somehow have male cellulite, and then when I feel better, my hairline magically returns to normal and my "cellulite" disappears.

I can multiply double digit numbers in my head, but I can't seem to count by ones when I'm balancing the registers at the end of the night. I always second-guess myself.

When I gift wrap parcels at work, I often start sweating profusely in sheer terror. If a customer is watching me wrap a rather difficult item, I often will drip right on the parcel. Every time someone asks me to wrap a gift, I get butterflies. This is despite the fact that I have wrapped countless packages over several years, and I'm not even bad at wrapping.

On nights when I close up the store, I often have nightmares that I get in big trouble for forgetting one crucial detail before going home (forgot to lock the doors, for example).

If I am bombarded with details and nitpicking and complicated instructions, I almost want to cry. In fact, if you put me in that situation, let me flail around for a while, and then criticize my failures, I would probably cry.

OMG! I have the same problem at the pharmacy!

 

[Avocado]

I'll preface by saying that I'm on meds, so keep that in mind. Si is still an issue for me, but it's a manageable one. I start to notice when I'm in the grips of it when my friends get their really concerned faces on and ask things like, "Can you please not take pictures while you're driving?" or "Are you wearing the same clothes you were wearing 3 days ago?" To which I look down and realize, "oh shit--but can it please just wait until after I finish taking notes about this theory of the colors and textures that time and space has?" Eventually, I tend to forget to pay bills and my phone, internet, and hot water will get shut off. Dealing with those repercussions has the positive effect of minimizing my Ne-feeds while at home, forcing me to pay attention to all that useless Si body-data.

I start noticing that I'm hungry. That my dog's fur is soft. That I could clean my dishes more than once a week and that would actually be less disgusting and make things easier for me. I realize that my apartment isn't organized very efficiently, and maybe I could move a lamp closer to my couch instead of hovering somewhere half on, half off the couch while trying to wedge myself between a stack of books and a stack of dishes on the couch.

I start feeling out the warm things, the soft things, the yummy things in my environment. And reveling in them. Hot fudge sundaes, holy shit those things are amazing. But seriously--stop reading and go eat something yummy! That will help you get in touch with your Si side more than analyzing about how to get in touch with your Si and cope with Ne overload. If that doesn't work, try a warm thing or soft thing. Rinse, repeat. Your ideas and stimulation can wait, I promise. You won't figure the world out in a half hour. But your body sure could use the TLC. If you can't feel pleasure from these things, you're probably taking on too much or you need to see a therapist to get out some of the stress you probably are carrying around but don't notice until something breaks down. When your body is cared for, you don't need to obsess so much over the details.

I also tend to let other people handle those types of tasks and focus on having most of my days unstructured when I can have that. Each day, I leave some open time where I can do whatever strikes my fancy on a whim. It's really refreshing to be able to take off down some train tracks and take pictures, or drive down a street I don't normally go down, make lots of connections and see lots of new things to feel like I'm not stagnating. I have more composure for the short amounts of (anticipated) time I am spending looking at details. I tell people that they can't expect me to get things well with details and that I can't be counted on for that sort of thing. I find more friends who are good with that sort of thing and drop the ones have fits of hysterics over my spaciness.

Hope that helps.

It really, really does! Thank you!