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people reading

redacted

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Nov 28, 2007
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which types do you think are the best people readers? i've always thought of it as a primarily NFJ thing, with a lot of other Ns being pretty good too. (my ENFP best friend is amazing.)

i ask this because i have a friend i've always considered an INFJ, but i'm wondering now if he may be an ISFJ. the thing with him is, he's not intellectual like at all, but he understands people and why they do what they do without even trying, and he's always exactly on point. not to toot my own horn, but i consider myself to understand people quite well, and i'm usually surprised when someone comes up with motivations i haven't thought of. he constantly does this.


the reason i've always thought NFJs were the best people readers is that Ni collects pertinent information to the current abstract thought process, and Fe consciously focuses on the feeling sentiments of the environment. so when an NFJ focuses their attention on someone, their Ni will try to paint as full a picture as possible, and Ti will step in to organize the picture even better. this is not to say other types don't have the capacity to do this, but NFJs are more likely to pay attention to it.


i feel as if Si would have a harder time painting a full picture because the focus is on the detail.

so, do you guys think SFJs can be amazing people readers? which other types do you think would be good?
 

Jeffster

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Obviously, I'm not a good topic title reader, because I read this as being about people doing this: :reading:

:doh:
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
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I think most of the dominant perceivers are good people readers. That inclueds all ExxP's and IxFJ's. I don't think most IxTJ's are good people readers though. Also each type reads people a different way. For example my (INFJ) wife and I are both good people readers, but while I read their behavior and motivations, she reads their emotional state. At the same time I'm pretty bad at reading emotions, and people's motivations and behaviors are often confusing to her. Overall I would think ENFP's are the best people readers, since Ne would clue them into motivations and behavior while Fi would allow them to be more tuned into people's emotions.
 

Totenkindly

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My first instinct is that Ni people seem to read others well without a lot of obvious clues to go on. You just sort of "know" where someone is coming from, and it's hard to explain in hindsight.

I think Ne/Se people can read things when there's lots of external clues or intimations to work with, but Se might not get below the surface. Still, when the situation is pretty tangible, they can be pretty canny and immediate with perceiving what's going on.

[And i have to say it's sort of funny even with ISFJs. They might not instinctively know what someone wants up front, but I have found that they are extremely good at remember what people have expressed interest in liking. (i.e., they collect and store enormous amounts of detail about people they care about.) The silliest story I have is one Christmas my mother gave me something purple, and I said rather sincerely and foolishly, "Oh, that's nice, I didn't have anything purple yet." For the next 6-7 years, I got purple things for Christmas because it was my "favorite color" until I almost had to yell at my mother to get her to stop. That's a little different than people perception, per se, but some types replace live perception with stored data that they access... which might be dead on if the situation and data match up, but if the data is bad, then it's not very helpful.]

I didn't really feel like Ne people were as great at people reading. See, the problem there is that the ENFP tends to get too caught up in the possibilities and often uses Fi to pick the possibilities they personally happen to favor... The really mature ones might be grounded enough to REALLY pay attention to the other person and get a good read, but the average or less mature ones are focused on the possibilities they favor, not necessarily the person.
 

redacted

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ENFPs are definitely much quicker people readers than INFJs. INFJs have to gather a lot more information, and tend to focus their attention on one person at a time.

meh, i'm beginning to think this thread isn't too great. hopefully it'll get interesting.
 

Jeffster

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meh, i'm beginning to think this thread isn't too great. hopefully it'll get interesting.

Well, it's been nearly an hour since I posted in it, so that's probably..... ;)

I think since I've been reading all this personality type stuff in the last couple months, I've gotten much better at "reading" people. I've started to pick up on clues from people in conversations to their motivations and the way they think. It's really fun sometimes, especially when I'm not even really participating in the conversation, but I'm mostly listening to two other people talk. I can sit there and watch/hear their personality types come out in the conversation and it's really cool. :D
 

Haphazard

Don't Judge Me!
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I don't think most IxTJ's are good people readers though.

I can read people but I lack tact. I just get bombarded with information from expression and intonation and I just can't do anything except the very basic -- stay, or back off. Kind of like trying to fix a pair of eyeglasses when all you have is a hammer, and you know, when all you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail... :huh:

Dunno about other ITJs, though.
 

redacted

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some of the INTJs i know (for some reason i hang out with like 6) are really really good at predicting people's actions. but i don't necessarily think they understand what the other people are feeling, the just know the patterns in behavior. (i don't mean that to sound that cold, just colder than NFs)
 

quietgirl

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i ask this because i have a friend i've always considered an INFJ, but i'm wondering now if he may be an ISFJ. the thing with him is, he's not intellectual like at all, but he understands people and why they do what they do without even trying, and he's always exactly on point. not to toot my own horn, but i consider myself to understand people quite well, and i'm usually surprised when someone comes up with motivations i haven't thought of. he constantly does this.

i feel as if Si would have a harder time painting a full picture because the focus is on the detail.

so, do you guys think SFJs can be amazing people readers? which other types do you think would be good?

My ISFJ boyfriend is an amazing people reader and does it in the same exact way as your ISFJ friend. He sees things that I don't pick up on & I've always been the people reader master, dammit! :)

One way that he fails in his people reading is if he has a history with the person because his experience with them & his feelings towards the experience with the person cloud his vision. I don't have this problem - I can see someone's intentions regardless of my experience with them. He also tends to be exact in reading the details of people where I am more exact in reading the patterns & symbols of behavior. We are both very good at reading intentions, though, and I have to blame Fe for that one!

He is MUCH better at reading people in which he has no personal connection. He really does pick up on tiny details in their body language, voice inflections, and actions that seriously pass me by. His Si judgement is, as much as I hate to admit it, normally spot on & when he bases his observations of people against his own judgement, the results are normally exactly right.
 

cafe

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My ISFJ sister-in-law is really, really good at people reading in a way that I'm not. It amazes me and when I'm stumped by someone's behavior, I often ask her to help me figure it out.

I can pick up on character stuff usually, but I also have huge blind spots because I think backwards or upside down of most people. 'Normal' is just so weird to me, you know? I almost never see it coming.
 

Virtual ghost

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I don't think most IxTJ's are good people readers though.

I don't think that INTJs are good at this. But I think they have big potential if they would train this part of them.
 

Tallulah

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I'm really good at reading people if it's not stuff that's directed at me. If I'm able to keep enough distance and objectivity, I can get a gut-level reaction about their motivations that is seldom wrong. If I'm too close to it, though, it doesn't work. Like Jennifer said, though, it's just a gut feeling, and nothing that I could specifically point out, like body language or anything.
 

LucrativeSid

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This is odd for me to read about because I've never even thought about it before. If I read people, it's not something I do consciously enough to remember afterward. In general, though, I think I have very little interest in reading people. Maybe the people who are good at reading others are just the people who like doing it?
 

Ilah

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I am INTJ and I am really bad at reading people. I thought that Ne is much better at reading people than Ni.

I wonder if part of it is a matter of trusting your N.

I have problems with people who are not honest about their feelings. For example people who have tone/facial expressions/body language that show a negative reaction (upset, angry disappoving, etc.) but if you ask them what is wrong they will say "nothing is wrong."

It was my bad luck to run into this a lot during my childhood and adolecent years. At that time my thoughts were "I keep getting it wrong, I must be really bad at it." It wasn't till many years later that it occured to me that most likely I was reading them correctly, they just were not open about their feelings.

On the other hand, that kind of behavior is not that uncommon so other people must have gone through the similar experiences and not had the same problem.

I think if I were Fe instead of Te, I would be able to realize they really were upset, even if they said they were not.

Ilah
 

Jack Flak

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INTP, but only the smart ones. Our intuition is magical, and logic keeps it clear.
 

Littlelostnf

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Not to toot my own horn...beep beep....but I happen to be extremely good at reading people. There are very few times when I'm blindsided and when I have been it's been a matter of steping over initial gut feelings about a person and wanting to see only the "nice" things. I absolutely agree with Jennifer about Ne verses Ni in terms of reading people. I know that the ENFP's I know are good at reading people but they don't do it nearly as well as I do mainly because they absolutely do let their Fi get in the way of targeting in...they may see lots of possibilities but targeting the main point is Ni's skill and NFJ's have that in abundance. I think one of the reasons an ENFP can be good at counseling someone about what's out there for them is the Ne whereas an INFJ or ENFJ would be much better at counseling someone about their motivations (being able to get to the root) of a person is because of Ni. Often times I can't explain why I think/feel what I do but at least 92.8 :)% of the time I'm right...and no I don't always like being right about what I pick up.
 

sleepless

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Littlelostnf: Word to that. Not to toot my own horn either, but... Ni seems very strong at reading people and really get to the root of it, Ne seems to be more overall. Being myself a fairly complex person, Ne people time and again read me wrong... NFJs have an easier time to get to a person's underlying moods, motivations, state of consciousness, hidden tensions and intentions.
 

alcea rosea

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I think all types can be good people readers but every type reads other people differently. So, some types read people "emotionally" when some other types read people logically. Some types (or rather some people) read the motives and hidden agendas when some other people read the actual needs of other people well. And so on.

I think every type and every person has their own strenghts in people reading. It's only a matter of how interesting one sees other people.
 
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