ISTP/ENFP realtionship?

[labyrinth_perhaps]

I am way too needy and complicated for myself/ this kid I should probably stop talking to him because I feel like a bitch


he probably doesn't care as much as I do either, because i'm over looking this WAY too much

 

[five sounds]

(broke my phone running to look at fish at a pet store...)

my advice:
have fun and keep asserting your thoughts and feelings. also be aware of the dangers of someone with a 'bad reputation'. i'm not saying you should run, i'm just saying, keep an eye on him and on your heart.

 

[labyrinth_perhaps]

Usually makes for an exciting relationship. Good banter and stuff. Probably going to be drama filled. I see a lot of istps who like enfps. We do operate on 2 separate wavelengths though. The enfps emotional perception of things just goes over my head. If you are looking to connect on an emotional level look for the innocent kid like emotions. If you think there is anything deeper than that you are going to have a bad time. If you want marriage and babies and someone to do your taxes istjs are over there ->.

the only drama I'm having is how possessive he is, and were not even dating yet. First I had to be the one to "hit him up" all the time. and now he does it x10 which is a big no no to me. NO MARRIAGE AND BABIES FOR ME, DEAR GOD NO. I'll try out the innocent kid emotions, because that is very cute. and I see how excited he gets when we talk about skate boarding and bmx...and I really don't see him get that lovey about anything else.

i don't want to think about taxes right now i'm 17...when the time comes... I'll figure something out...

 

[labyrinth_perhaps]

Male ISTP's and female ENFP's seem to be a popular mix. As a male ENFP, I can't really say I understand it though. An ISTP's view of morality, particularly, is deeply troubling for me. I've taught ethics, the standard ISTP approach to whether something is right or wrong is either "there is no such thing", "it's just a hat you can swap and change", "who cares what the justification is, as long as it matters to you". All of which can be hard for the Fi user to accept. This is especially unnerving when you realise that they do in fact have certain deeply held, but controversial beliefs that they refuse to justify. One ISTP once told me that we should just cull all the senile elderly people and mentally retarded -- because they weren't contributing to society. When I asked him why contributing to society is the be all end all for moral status, he couldn't give me an answer. Another ISTP friend of mine hates movies like Avatar because he almost religiously believes that that mankind should have dominion over everything else. When I compared his views to racism and asked him to justify the differences, he said "why do we need to justify something if we already know it's correct?".

The thing is, I really don't think this is uncommon for ISTP's. A complete suppression of Fi, Se-Ni over Ne-Si modelling, being Fe inferior... I think these beliefs are backed up by their stacking of functions.

Look, I'm not trying to pick any fights, nor am I saying that the OP shouldn't date him, but I would never be able to go through with it.

i feel uuuu. and I kinda agree. I JUST FEELS SO NICE TO BE WANTED. like it's a miracle when people have a crush on me...their must be something in the water.

 

[labyrinth_perhaps]

my advice:
have fun and keep asserting your thoughts and feelings. also be aware of the dangers of someone with a 'bad reputation'. i'm not saying you should run, i'm just saying, keep an eye on him and on your heart.

I kinda felt like that girl in finding nemo with the head gear yelling "FISHIES". the bad rep thing is actually a weak spot for me, because I always want to help everyone...and I'm just naive.
and u rox and u roll thx u 4 ur advice

 

[five sounds]

I kinda felt like that girl in finding nemo with the head gear yelling "FISHIES". the bad rep thing is actually a weak spot for me, because I always want to help everyone...and I'm just naive.
and u rox and u roll thx u 4 ur advice

hah! headgear is always a nice touch for the enthusiastic. nothing says 'i love fishies' like spit flying off metal.

the bolded reminds me of what i've heard [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] refer to as a 'steep learning curve'. ENFPs are the inspirers. we love to see hidden potential in a person and help them nurture it and bring it out. so i don't think it's uncommon for our type OR a bad thing. just as long as the person is giving you what you need as well. part of the beauty that is ENFP 7 is our ability to remain unjaded, in childlike wonder and appreciation of the goodness in the world. learning to wield it can be tricky, but i hate hearing it cast in a negative light. it's one of my favorite things about the type.

 

[Starry]

...because damn cute baby animals are so cute.

^How do you really know that though? I mean, you're making a declarative statement...and yet you provide no empirical evidence... ???

the bolded reminds me of what i've heard [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] refer to as a 'steep learning curve'. ENFPs are the inspirers. we love to see hidden potential in a person and help them nurture it and bring it out. so i don't think it's uncommon for our type OR a bad thing. just as long as the person is giving you what you need as well. part of the beauty that is ENFP 7 is our ability to remain unjaded, in childlike wonder and appreciation of the goodness in the world. learning to wield it can be tricky, but i hate hearing it cast in a negative light. it's one of my favorite things about the type.

^^While I'd like to take credit for that phrase that came to me via Wind-up Rex The member the state i am in also has an analogy describing this same phenomenon which made use of the word 'bandwidth' haha that I really liked but I can't remember it right now. <-There's a couple of different things going on here though that need to be separated out.

I'm not sure what your instinctual variants are miss perhaps...from what has been described by you in this thread...I'm going with so/sx. Nevertheless, the curve/bandwidth was referring more to sx-dominance (or I guess a highly *spirited* individual? in general) and a tendency to be attracted to people that are challenging.

^^All of that needs to be distinguished from enneagram 7s desire for *that which is interesting*...which often ends-up being *challenging.* In other words, e7 is not specifically seeking-out challenging... e7 tends to avoid challenges and the obligations that are generated by such a characteristic. Which makes the addiction to interesting especially unfortunate since interesting and challenging so often go hand-and-hand. Here's where the notion of *projects* generally comes into play. In an effort to satisfy the addition to interesting...many e7s will trick themselves into 'settling' for challenging...by looking past-it to the potential (which is something ENFPs do naturally) and setting their sights on some point in the future where the loved-one has rid themselves of the challenging traits and all that remains is interesting.

I actually wrote about this in the ENFP Common Issues thread:

Because I always have one foot in the future...well, basically I don't know how not to be perpetually mindful of potential and 'what dreams may come'... and so much of my Life's journey has been/is learning how to assess *now* properly. I have wrongly, inaccurately assessed 'what is' in a person (place, thing, noun)... because I'm factoring in a vision of a future that has not happened and I have been burned for such 'foolishness' (my last relationship.) Without even knowing I was doing it... I was assigning qualities to him that were merely 'potentials' as if they were 'actualities' or at the very least 'soon to be actualities' <-and while in truth this system has for the most part served me well... it went quite wrong in the instance I'm speaking of and with it being a significant relationship as opposed to idk an art project or something... I admit I've been a bit shaken by it all. Will I change though...? Only time will tell.

the bad rep thing is actually a weak spot for me, because I always want to help everyone...and I'm just naive.

Listen to your ENFP elders...that last bolded part is a bunch of bullshit haha (<-okay I'm laughing but I'm not laughing do you understand?) ENFPs are naive about many things but we know people. I get nervous when I see this because I know what you're doing. Yes, you have a natural desire to help and inspire...but NOT as your primary function in a romantic partnership. Do not use these gifts you have been given as a way to mask your addiction to interesting from yourself. [whoops I came back to edit. We should help and inspire our partners...just not Champion them though. The relationship shouldn't be imbalanced.]

I don't really have a feeling either way what you should do with this dude. From what you have described...not enough feeling appears to exist for me to enter this relationship...even when I was your age and taking on projects. Coast with it...but do it with your eyes open.

 

[animenagai]

i feel uuuu. and I kinda agree. I JUST FEELS SO NICE TO BE WANTED. like it's a miracle when people have a crush on me...their must be something in the water.

Siiigh... I know the feeling. It's easy to give advice, but I know that if I was in your situation, I'll find it really hard to fight as well.

 

[WALMART]

ENFP's are among my favorite.

I think my favorite ex was ENFP. I like the energy, I like the perspective, I like the drive, I like the concern, I like the absurdity.

They bring me out of myself, the biggest challenge I have as an ISTP.

 

[Starry]

ENFP's are among my favorite.

I think my favorite ex was ENFP. I like the energy, I like the perspective, I like the drive, I like the concern, I like the absurdity.

They bring me out of myself, the biggest challenge I have as an ISTP.

ISTP 9w8 = yes please




ISTP 5s with a counterphobic 6 wing
ISTP 6w5cp
ISTP 6w5cp that think they're 8w7

 

[WALMART]

Exhibit A

ISTP 9w8 = yes please




ISTP 5s with a counterphobic 6 wing
ISTP 6w5cp
ISTP 6w5cp that think they're 8w7

 

[badger055]

ENFP's are among my favorite.

I think my favorite ex was ENFP. I like the energy, I like the perspective, I like the drive, I like the concern, I like the absurdity.

They bring me out of myself, the biggest challenge I have as an ISTP.

Why did you call yourself an ISTP if your MBTI says ENTP? Are you another one of those people who likes to play pretend ISTP.

 

[WALMART]

Why did you call yourself an ISTP if your MBTI says ENTP? Are you another one of those people who likes to play pretend ISTP.

i am legion

and so on

 

[Starry]

whoops also ISTP 6w5cp that believe they're 7w8s

 

[labyrinth_perhaps]

idk everyone this kid keeps getting more cute, the innocent child emotion thing WAS gold. I played it up real cute/ sorta baby talk with him, and he opened up to me more in a shy innocent way. which is the side I wanted to see

 

[labyrinth_perhaps]

P.S STARRY loved your input when I'm not my phone ( hey got a new phone today) ill respond

 

[Coriolis]

I moved the petty, off-topic bickering to the graveyard. Do stay on topic, and remember to be civil.

 

[grey_beard]

I moved the petty, off-topic bickering to the graveyard. Do stay on topic, and remember to be civil.

If they're civil...wouldn't that make it a "civil" war...?

 

[Coriolis]

If they're civil...wouldn't that make it a "civil" war...?

That is an oxymoron, unlike civil engineers.

 

[Riva]

People with the same judging functions should date me thinks.