Fi doms and Sensitivity

[Avocado]

Okay wow sorry...I got interrupted and that was enough to tell my mind "this post is complete" and hit send haha.

I started off to say that ...7 goes a long way to being able to put a positive spin on any situation... But I think extroversion is a luxury in this regard that extroverts may (or may not) take for granted. Just knowing I could...if I were so inclined...assert myself without expending a week's worth of energy...may, in itself, reduce my sense of hurt or violation.

LOL!

Anyway, I feel guilty if I try to assert myself, which is strange becuase I was guiltless about it when I was younger.

 

[TaylorS]

Just because we don't look outwardly hurt doesn't mean we aren't. Fi is an introverted function so it's activity is not always obvious. I have a problem with letting stuff building up and then it explodes when I am stressed, often associated with angry critical ranting via my inferior Te.

 

[Southern Kross]

I'm naturally very sensitive (in the broad definition of the word) but as I get older I'm toughening up a bit. My skin is thicker now, and I'm more self-confident and less apologetic. I'm more able to just brush stuff off or laugh about it. It still may hurt (especially direct criticism) but I'm less reactive to that hurt - internally and externally. I can bury the pain a lot better, sometimes even from myself. I've learned I don't need to really feel everything and can better separate myself mentally from the negative stuff. I still avoid putting myself in situations where I may feel vulnerable or draw ridicule, though.

 

[LadyLazarus]

I'm a total wimp when it comes to being easily hurt, I hide it well now but when I was younger I wasn't aware that I was supposed to, I've always been emotionally expressive so it was very apparent that I was a crybaby. Everything hurts, the littlest things, whether it was meant to hurt or not, it's why I can't take jokes, which is extremely hypocritical of me(yeah gross).

Being in the reactive triad really doesn't help either, I can't let go of things until I duke it out with the other person, and I must do it immediately because it's verging on physically painful for me not to get it all out right away, it drives me nuts.

I think Fi-doms may potentially be more sensitive than Fi-auxs because our first instinct is to internalize everything, which in my experience is basically thinking of everything in terms of myself/my values/how I feel about things ie.; "That hurt me. He's insulting me!" etc. Whereas your first instinct is to look at things from several points of view/ think of several reasons/ explanations for something(I think...I don't know, I'm no expert on Ne) ie; "Why did he do that? He probably did it because he has problems or is insecure." etc.

 

[Stephano]

Haha, good post. Usually I also don't mind, if someone critizises me personally. I just say something funny and the situation is safe.

Btw like to add: I think I was more easily hurt as a kid, but then I developed Ne I guess.

 

[gromit]

I am sensitive, maybe more than average? I don't know.

If it is someone whose opinion I care about then yes that is especially hard.

 

[Odi et Amo]

I live with two Fi-doms - an INFP 5w4 brother and an ISFP 6w7 brother, who could not be much more different. The INFP is withdrawing, sweet, gentle, and soulful. When he is hurt or is sensitive to something, he steps back and broods over it. He can usually come out of it after a little while. The ISFP is very gracious and gentle right up to the line, after which he is unbelievably sensitive and prone to severe emotional outbursts both inwardly and outwardly directed, like he cannot get out of the moment of pathos and emotional violation.
The Enneatypes + the differing Pe combine for two very different personalities.

 

[Evo]

Yea, it's the 7 and dominant Ne I think.

7's will often take things seriously if needed. But are less prone to take things personally

Even the comparison of an ENFP 4 vs a 6 is way different. I personally believe 4's are the most sensitive enneatype (not a bad thing) And 2's are the second most. And many IXFP's type as those enneagrams.

 

[011235813]

I have a thicker skin than I used to but I still react poorly to personal attacks, slights and jokes at my expense, whether real or perceived. The good thing is, where everything and everyone used to be able to hurt me in the past, it's more difficult to do so now, because my reaction these days is more likely to be "Wow, you really suck so I don't give a shit what you think" rather than "Wow, that really hurt and now I'm upset. "

If it comes from someone I love or respect, though, that is incredibly hard to cope with.

Also, ITA with this:

I think Fi-doms may potentially be more sensitive than Fi-auxs because our first instinct is to internalize everything, which in my experience is basically thinking of everything in terms of myself/my values/how I feel about things ie.; "That hurt me. He insulting me!" etc. Whereas your first instinct is to look at things from several points of view/ think of several reasons/ explanations for something(I think...I don't know, I'm no expert on Ne) ie; "Why did he do that? He probably did it because he has problems or is insecure." etc.

 

[Ginkgo]

When I was in my early teens, a psych categorized me as being more sensitive than 95% of the population.

10 years later, I don't know how well that stacks up, but I remain a sensitive individual. Even the mental callouses I've developed really only seem to delay inevitable pain, so they merely allow me an opportunity to air out my sensitivities when I'm in a safe place. My sensitivity reacts to triggers that change over time; what influenced me then probably doesn't influence me now. Yet, the influence remains.

I don't think it's especially type related, but it seems that when an Fi dom is hurt, they're likely to bottle it up where an Fe dom would become expressive. Expressions of sensitivity can be caustic and overt, but they are no less indicative of the kinds of feelings that Fi doms often struggle to let go of. That sort of seething, in particular, seems to amplify itself when lacking a mode of communication. In contrast with Fe doms, the process of a withdrawing Fi dom can seem more mopy and helpless as it sinks in on itself. When some people think of "sensitive", this is what they imagine. Other times, "sensitive" looks more explosive.

 

[Zarathustra]

This is a very interesting thread

Thank you for starting (and posting)

 

[five sounds]

Tertiary Te. I get the impression that it's easier for EFP's to detach from things emotionally, whereas my actions and beliefs are always being put under scrutiny to some extent regardless of mood. At it's worst, it can be painful and nauseating - at it's best, it's grounding and reassuring.

I overlooked this post before, but I think this is really good. Makes a lot of sense to me.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I don't consider myself to be easily hurt. I can usually just write potentially hurtful things people say off as their own problem or not very important, and don't get too hung up. As a person who uses Fi, I've often thought Fe users were more easily offended then Fi users (putting more weight into external feelings, etc.)

Why then are INFPs and ISFPs stereotypically so sensitive? I'm only a function flip away from being INFP. What's the big difference? What am I missing?

That's not really how I experience sensitivity.
Strangely enough, I find ExFPs to be more easily offended, or at least they react more loudly.
In person, it's hard for people to get reactions out of me.
If I react, it's to boundary violations usually or injustices. I don't start crying - I get PISSED.

I've never been sensitive in a soft way, which is almost unfortunate because that registers more as "caring" to others. Instead I've been called cantankerous or a prima donna, yet also told I have no feelings.

IxFPs also get misunderstood a lot more than ExFPs, & that can wear on you. There's an alienation & defensiveness that can develop.

My sensitivity is generally not specific to things people say/do to me much though. It's more like an awareness of all that falls short in the world & my life & the lives of others. It's a general feeling of disappointment & a longing sadness. INFPs are sensitive to imperfection, especially in ourselves. We're not nit-picky perfectionists - it's not about measurable standards. But it is sort of like the self is a fine-tuned scale for meaning, beauty, morality, etc, & so you must be sensitive to things to measure it correctly.

I might also be more sensitive than ExFPs to inconsistency in feeling-thoughts. I see it in others & it will annoy me. It's kind of how a Ti-dom responds to people being illogical. It can feel like you're one of the only people who makes sense. People around you can seem comically insincere, shallow, and fickle at times.

 

[Ginkgo]

That's not really how I experience sensitivity.
Strangely enough, I find ExFPs to be more easily offended, or at least they react more loudly.

Same. However they seem more likely to forgive afterwards.