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Extroverts, how often do you need time to yourself?

Honor

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Under what circumstances do you not want any more interaction? How often, if ever, do you withdraw to recharge? If you never tire of people that you like, then what about people who are unpleasant or who don't understand you?
 
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Stansmith

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I withdraw due to anhedonia and anxiety. I can't socialize anymore without eventually thinking "what am I gaining from this?" There's no novelty, there's no excitement, there's no improvement, there's no intensity. Just a circle-jerk of close minded people smoking weed and talking about basketball in a boring apartment.
 

Comeback Girl

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I wouldn't call it 'time for myself', but I just don't like having people around when I'm on the toilet. Idk, I call that privacy. Apart from that I never need time for myself.
 

Honor

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I wouldn't call it 'time for myself', but I just don't like having people around when I'm on the toilet. Idk, I call that privacy. Apart from that I never need time for myself.
lol! This is a great post. Thanks for this.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

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I wouldn't call it 'time for myself', but I just don't like having people around when I'm on the toilet. Idk, I call that privacy. Apart from that I never need time for myself.

This blows my mind.
 

Honor

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This blows my mind.
I know, right? Me too. Just reading that made me want to lock myself up in my bathroom to get more privacy.
 

Typh0n

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Heh, I need a few hours per day.
 

31january

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I find that feeling excluded/awkward drains my energy extremely quickly, as does meeting new people who don't seem too enthusiastic about my company. Because of this I think a lot of people are surprised that i'm an extrovert (i'm not horribly loud either!)--but when i'm comfortable with people I can stay the whole day with them and wish I didn't have to go home even at 12am, for weeks on end. it's nearly like having good powerups and bad energy-sink traps!
 

Honor

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Heh, I need a few hours per day.

I find that feeling excluded/awkward drains my energy extremely quickly, as does meeting new people who don't seem too enthusiastic about my company. Because of this I think a lot of people are surprised that i'm an extrovert (i'm not horribly loud either!)--but when i'm comfortable with people I can stay the whole day with them and wish I didn't have to go home even at 12am, for weeks on end. it's nearly like having good powerups and bad energy-sink traps!

Thanks, you guys!
 

five sounds

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More and more as I get older. I can relate to what [MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION] said about needing to get out of stagnate-feeling situations where I feel unfulfilled by the conversation or people there. That makes me crave intimate and deep conversation or research usually. If I feel that I don't have a choice in what I do in a certain setting, I usually want to get out and be on my own. I have a tendency to wander off by myself when I'm out places with groups of people. A little personal adventure is often exactly what I need, and then I'm ready to rejoin for a while.

A lot of time, I'll go go go and then my mind kind of demands down time. I do a lot of reflecting and deep thinking, and can kind of get stuck there if I've neglected my need for it for too long. I wound up depressed because of that a few years ago, and have since tried to build quiet reflection time into my life so that I don't wind up desperate for it.
 

Amargith

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Every day. In fact, being on non-stop interaction standby exhausts the shit out of me coz I have to be constantly 'on'. I really can enjoy a good interaction and gain a lot of energy from it...but a bad one equally drains me again. Similarly, depending on the mindset I'm in, I can be bored out of my skull when forced to be alone -especially if im tryign to avoid something, and I can totally relish my fantasy world for hours on end doing nothing and having nothing to keep myself occupied other than my very own imagination :shrug:
 

Honor

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More and more as I get older. I can relate to what [MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION] said about needing to get out of stagnate-feeling situations where I feel unfulfilled by the conversation or people there. That makes me crave intimate and deep conversation or research usually. If I feel that I don't have a choice in what I do in a certain setting, I usually want to get out and be on my own. I have a tendency to wander off by myself when I'm out places with groups of people. A little personal adventure is often exactly what I need, and then I'm ready to rejoin for a while.

A lot of time, I'll go go go and then my mind kind of demands down time. I do a lot of reflecting and deep thinking, and can kind of get stuck there if I've neglected my need for it for too long. I wound up depressed because of that a few years ago, and have since tried to build quiet reflection time into my life so that I don't wind up desperate for it.

Every day. In fact, being on non-stop interaction standby exhausts the shit out of me coz I have to be constantly 'on'. I really can enjoy a good interaction and gain a lot of energy from it...but a bad one equally drains me again. Similarly, depending on the mindset I'm in, I can be bored out of my skull when forced to be alone -especially if im tryign to avoid something, and I can totally relish my fantasy world for hours on end doing nothing and having nothing to keep myself occupied other than my very own imagination :shrug:
I definitely relate to both of you a lot.
 

HongDou

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It depends on the company. I could be around my ESFJ bestie for 3 days straight and other people for 10 minutes max. I need time to relax if I've gone to some sort of social outing I'm not particularly interested in but if we do things that are actually stimulating for me then I can definitely keep going. It's kind of a struggle actually because conversations with other friends soon turn out like this:

Me: I'm bored.
Friend: Let's do ____!
Me: Ehh, I don't wanna.
Friend: Well you're bored and wanna do something, right?
Me: But I don't want to do that.

I hate when people try to force me to do things I don't want to do (well...most people do lol) and it just makes me wanna spend more time to myself. I think why I can spend a lot of time with my ESFJ friend is because she's flexible - sometimes she'll do things I want to do and then other times the things she wants to do are really interesting and fun for me. And of course she enjoys the time as well. :D I actually consider myself to be flexible too, I just lose interest easily. And being forced or having to be convinced to do something just makes it happen faster.
 

Lady_X

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I don't need time by myself. I just need time to do what I want so as long as there are periods of time where I can do my own thing without someone making me feel like I'm neglecting them then I'm all good.
 

Lark

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Under what circumstances do you not want any more interaction? How often, if ever, do you withdraw to recharge? If you never tire of people that you like, then what about people who are unpleasant or who don't understand you?

I never tire of people that I like, I can honestly say that it has to be people who've in some way alienated me or I've had to "handle" or "pretend" an interest in that I'll feel releaved to get a break from. I have a lot of more solitary pursuits, gym, reading, writing and if I'm doing these and someone tries to make conversation I'll not automatically break away from, I extend to others the curtousey of recognising when their attention and concentration is elsewhere and I'd like to think they reciprocate but even that is not something I would totally prioritise over social interaction opportunities.

I can be exhausting to introverts to be around, and the whole constant need to conversation or social reads bothers them.
 

Lady_X

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Yeah I think what it is for me is that I can shut off anywhere with any amount of people. I can't even help it. If I'm bored with my surroundings I get lost in my head or go do something else and I don't often think to question if I'm being rude... But sometimes ill be made aware that I'm expected to be a certain way and in that case I may want to leave because then I'm bored

That just rarely happens
 

Honor

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people who've in some way alienated me or I've had to "handle" or "pretend" an interest in that I'll feel releaved to get a break from
Could you elaborate more on this? What do you mean by people you've had to "handle"?
 

Lark

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Could you elaborate more on this? What do you mean by people you've had to "handle"?

If I'm interacting with someone and it is superficial, professional or simply reflecting good manners and social norms but who I dont really want to interact with, the difference between wanting to and having to, perhaps the voluntary or spontaneous aspect if that makes sense? There is a difference, people can be cordial in a variety of roles, when I worked in a supermarket I found customer interaction could be draining but I wouldnt think that meant I was an introvert.
 

Honor

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Yeah I think what it is for me is that I can shut off anywhere with any amount of people. I can't even help it. If I'm bored with my surroundings I get lost in my head or go do something else and I don't often think to question if I'm being rude... But sometimes ill be made aware that I'm expected to be a certain way and in that case I may want to leave because then I'm bored

That just rarely happens
I know what you mean here.

Bored Honor means checked out Honor.
 

Honor

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If I'm interacting with someone and it is superficial, professional or simply reflecting good manners and social norms but who I dont really want to interact with, the difference between wanting to and having to, perhaps the voluntary or spontaneous aspect if that makes sense? There is a difference, people can be cordial in a variety of roles, when I worked in a supermarket I found customer interaction could be draining but I wouldnt think that meant I was an introvert.
Ohhh, ok. Gotcha. So by "handle," you mean someone you're forced to play a role with.
 
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