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  1. #21
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    3w2 so


    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    It depends on the company. I could be around my ESFJ bestie for 3 days straight and other people for 10 minutes max. I need time to relax if I've gone to some sort of social outing I'm not particularly interested in but if we do things that are actually stimulating for me then I can definitely keep going. It's kind of a struggle actually because conversations with other friends soon turn out like this:

    Me: I'm bored.
    Friend: Let's do ____!
    Me: Ehh, I don't wanna.
    Friend: Well you're bored and wanna do something, right?
    Me: But I don't want to do that.

    I hate when people try to force me to do things I don't want to do (well...most people do lol) and it just makes me wanna spend more time to myself. I think why I can spend a lot of time with my ESFJ friend is because she's flexible - sometimes she'll do things I want to do and then other times the things she wants to do are really interesting and fun for me. And of course she enjoys the time as well. I actually consider myself to be flexible too, I just lose interest easily. And being forced or having to be convinced to do something just makes it happen faster.
    Super interesting, I hear the phrase "I lose interest easily" from a lot of ENFPs.

  2. #22


    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    More and more as I get older. I can relate to what @Stansmith said about needing to get out of stagnate-feeling situations where I feel unfulfilled by the conversation or people there. That makes me crave intimate and deep conversation or research usually. If I feel that I don't have a choice in what I do in a certain setting, I usually want to get out and be on my own. I have a tendency to wander off by myself when I'm out places with groups of people. A little personal adventure is often exactly what I need, and then I'm ready to rejoin for a while.

    A lot of time, I'll go go go and then my mind kind of demands down time. I do a lot of reflecting and deep thinking, and can kind of get stuck there if I've neglected my need for it for too long. I wound up depressed because of that a few years ago, and have since tried to build quiet reflection time into my life so that I don't wind up desperate for it.
    Could be an ENFP + So/Sx thing

  3. #23


    I average 6+ hours a day (of alone time) for people who I have to keep up a facade around. For those people I really like, I probably like at least 2 hours a day to keep my sanity or I blow up after a week. Saying that, I get in a depressed mood if I go a day or more without interacting with people/ the outside world.

    I need time to process things/decompress but not too much because I will get depressive.

  4. #24
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2013


    Personally, I need a lot of time to myself even though I'm an extrovert. But the thing is, I never ever actually want to feel that I'm completely alone; I need to have my windows open or something, or at least have a conversation with one of my friends on the phone. So yeah. I need some kind of human interaction every day, but it doesn't need to be physical. But if I'm alone too much without the physical interaction, I start to feel very anxious and very tired and very stressed out. I guess I can go like 1-2 days without any kind of interaction, and probably like 4 days with just phone calls etc etc, and on the 4th day I will be kind of anxious and just ready to meet tons of people.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012


    only when i get extremely frustrated when i realize that conversing with someone isnt leading anywhere. (and its too frustrating to figure out what is wrong.. so i just get all angry inside my head and dont show it.)
    or when im exhausted from doing sp things, such as chores.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  6. #26
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Under what circumstances do you not want any more interaction? How often, if ever, do you withdraw to recharge? If you never tire of people that you like, then what about people who are unpleasant or who don't understand you?
    Probably every few days I need a little time, maybe half an hour or so at least, to myself. There are certain people - my mom, dad, brother, boyfriend - that don't make me feel like I need to recharge at all. Most other interaction I do need time away from, if only to recenter myself. For me it's less about being around unpleasant people and more about needing some time to be able to prioritize my needs, because I'm generally inclined to prioritize others' needs first (it usually takes less energy for me to help someone else than to do my own thing). Like others have mentioned, I like to be around people even when I'm having my down time. Right now my boyfriend is across the room playing video games and that works fine for me.

    The only time I really like to be totally alone is in the early morning, which I've always considered sort of a sacred quiet time, and I tend to get irritated with anyone breaking my early morning peace! I also like to experience nature alone - quasi-spiritual natural experiences like the Northern Lights, sunrise or set, meteor showers, snow at midnight, etc. Someone else can be along with me only if they are quiet and reverent of it, too.

    As for high-stress interaction where I have to be really "on" - around high-status people, or new people in a context where there is no set structure for interaction - I can do a few hours happily or a couple of days at most but then I want a big chunk of down time. At work where there is a set structure for what my role is and their role is then it's generally easy and pleasing, though I still am eager to come home to my comfortable, familiar loved ones at the end of the day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine
    Saying that, I get in a depressed mood if I go a day or more without interacting with people/ the outside world.
    Me too. Once I was in a foreign country with a reclusive flatmate and no internet access for two weeks. I ended up walking an hour to downtown every day just to use the internet cafe and interact with cashiers. I felt myself shrivel inside.

  7. #27
    just a vessel EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    173 so/sx


    Regardless of who I'm around, I find that I need a set period of "me time" per day -- meaning, time where other people aren't trying to make me do things, where I'm the one initiating the interpersonal contact (if I have any). It's definitely about recharging, but I think it's also about re-establishing independence, in a way. Too much time around people can make me feel trapped. Depending on how drained I am, that "me time" can be anywhere from ten minutes to two and a half hours.

    This is the case with literally everyone -- from my closest friends and family, to acquaintances. And it's the reason why I have so many introvert friends: They decide when they need alone time, and I use that as an opportunity to have me time/time to do whatever I want, without external obligation.

    Too much alone time, though... Same as @Glycerine. I feel sluggish and emotionally and physically drained.

    Edit: I'm horrible at estimating this sort of thing; usually either the "me time" shows up naturally by virtue of all my introvert friends, or I force myself to have it whenever I start feeling cranky and restless. But the estimate I gave earlier in the post could easily be total BS. I'm sp-last, I have no idea what I need.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w8/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    member of the month (May 2018)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #28
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    748 sx/so


    I like having a couple of hours to myself usually more or less once a week. This usually happens sunday morning and i take that time to listen to music or find new music etc. It helps me process all the stuff that happened during the week and find my own center.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2010


    When I eat, I usually find some place quiet and meditate. I also commute a total of an an hour and a half a day which is usually spent talking to myself. I usually have to remind myself to spend time alone. Usually my weekdays are so busy I end up spending all weekend alone playing minecraft with my parietal lobe and thinking about other things directly. If I don't get some sort of time to sort through all the stuff that happened that week, my brain starts to overheat and I turn into a crazy person.

  10. #30


    i can socialize for hours (and in a few cases days) upon end - but on a regular basis, i realized the other day that a big part of why am emotionally attached to my smoking habits is the need to take a break from everything (people included) every now and then and go outside - this is part of why i quite often prefer taking breaks away from the smoking lounge (not always but sometimes).

    so i suppose on average i like 10 minutes breaks every 3 hours or so.

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