The nasty side of unhealthy MBTI types.

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It's not a taboo to bring up negative traits, but these threads tend to disintegrate into a mud-slinging mess very quickly, so once you've had enough of it you try to stay away

 

[EJCC]

Unhealthy INFJ 4/2/? (my roommate for a semester):
Universally well-liked as "sweet" and "kind" (not inaccurately) -- but extremely needy and manipulative. Constantly pulling on everyone's heartstrings in an attempt to make them love her and take care of her -- out of what? Pity?
Skill at Ni+Fe still showed because there was little to no direct evidence of this behavior; it was powerful stuff, like some kind of gravitational pull, but near impossible to put your finger on.

Unhealthy ESTJ 1w2 so/sx (me as a teenager):
Te run amok. Bullshit must be called out as soon as it appears, nipped in the bud before it can spread; any bad feelings caused by this (for either party, instigator (i.e. myself) included) are irrelevant and must be ignored.
Meddlesome, bossy, shameless know-it-all. The kind of kid that students hate, and teachers grudgingly respect; natural fit for double-agent role, reporting other students' poor behavior to teachers. (Hermione Granger plus Percy Weasley.) Air of arrogance and superiority, tendency to brag.
Edit: Still fun-loving, cheerful, friendly, and helpful -- which I am today -- but also moodier, and characterized by a far more pronounced hair-trigger temper (usually brought on by someone being "stupid" or "wrong"). Defensive in the face of criticism, even when the criticism is legitimate.

 

[Vilku]

I don't do this so much anymore.



I was wondering this, so thanks for providing outside confirmation for my mental map.

glad i could help! i havent ever came across so mature intp. (ive only seen one intp in my whole life, and the intp's at forums dont make that good impression on me with their endless Ti tangents. =S)

unhealthy ENFJ: paranoid delusions, incapable of taking criticism, loud, would manipulate people into being emotionally dependent on her by alternately complimenting and criticizing out of proportion and making "intuitive observations" about people to make them feel special, talked about how behavior was not appropriate according to a mystical "they," always talking about some tragic thing going on with herself or someone else, always seeing meaning where it wasn't, provoking emotional reactions and then feeding off the energy, gave way too much information about herself, said a lot of magical and mystical things she believed were "scientifically proven" when she'd just read some article about it, put people on guilt trips, and was the biggest hypocrite I've ever met.

On the positive side, she was smart and a really loving person. She ran a nonprofit organization helping people in the community with basic needs; unfortunately it was badly run and she was using it to make herself feel useful by being selfless in the extreme, and further making people dependent on her. I think deep down the only way she felt like she would be wanted was if people needed her.

lols, thats sounds like so much FUN! im disappointed ive only met one enfj in my life. =/

These are personal insults. And personal insults are against the rules and may lead to banning.

*rolls eyes*

UGH.. those are emotional criticism, not insults, fool. im criticising you for your emotional irrationality. -.-
learn to accept criticism, maybe then you can grow?

Actually, one is a question, and one is a conditional statement.

(It seems as though you are determined to find an insult behind every bush.)

[MENTION=3325]Mole[/MENTION]

listen to this person, he she can clearly see what i said, more accurately.

lols, i love intj accuraccy. =)

its something i struggle myself with, my Ti can be lazy at times.. =X

It's not a taboo to bring up negative traits, but these threads tend to disintegrate into a mud-slinging mess very quickly, so once you've had enough of it you try to stay away

hmm.. i think we can keep it mature. =)

 

[five sounds]

My dad's an ENFJ. Like most people closest to ourselves, I've seen both healthier and less healthy sides of him. He can frustrate me so much with his rash logic and unexplained convictions. He also tends to guilt trip and twist words to fuel his argument when he feels undermined or contested. My rebel spirit probably doesn't help. Things are better now that I'm older, but I still get pissed when i watch him do that to others, especially my mom! His healthier side is great though! We connect with music and theories and are the weirdos in my family of S's.

 

[Vilku]

My dad's an ENFJ. Like most people closest to ourselves, I've seen both healthier and less healthy sides of him. He can frustrate me so much with his rash logic and unexplained convictions. He also tends to guilt trip and twist words to fuel his argument when he feels undermined or contested. My rebel spirit probably doesn't help. Things are better now that I'm older, but I still get pissed when i watch him do that to others, especially my mom! His healthier side is great though! We connect with music and theories and are the weirdos in my family of S's.

hm, i guess i have a kind of similar thing with infp's. i know they arent healthy, but i had no idea of how to help them. now i know some advices i can give them that will help them, and i know how to make infp's useful to me, which they enjoy.

i think, with enfj's i probably wouldnt have that much difficulty to understand them since the shared functions. like with fi/te users i always have to do all kinds of theorizing with my Ti to understand them, and it frustrates me to use my Ti so much. but at LEAST, i wont forget what i learn, so the information can be applied later too! =) (with other Fe/Ti users i dont need to think that much, but Fi/Te fellas are so hard to understand to me.)

EDIT:

or i think it might be illusion that i wouldnt need to think so much. its just that to come along with them i seemingly dont need to do any effort, but i realize that thhinnkig how to come even better along with them would help alot.

 

[Jaguar]

infp's. i know they arent healthy

Are they immunocompromised, or do a few of them merely see things differently than you?

 

[Vilku]

Are they immunocompromised, or do a few of them merely see things differently than you?

.. =/ (speak english, could you?)

just something ive observed from their behaviour, like not using Te. (being all absorbed in expressing their feelings about things instead of thinking for once. and impulsively judging others without even thinking about the judgment they make.)

like my friend, infp 7w6 so sx who blames others for his misfortunes. even people he dont know.

and also not using Te makes them useless, Te is infp's way of contributing to others. i do encourage them to use it, one on one its easy, but when you have a whole group of infp's, they just forget their inferior function and go blabbering endlessly about their feelings. Fi's arent supposed to even do that, Fi is an introverted function.

satisfied, or do i need to analyze more? =|

 

[Jaguar]

.. =/ (speak english, could you?)

Use a dictionary.

impulsively judging others without even thinking about the judgment they make.

That's exactly what you did, which is no different than what you claim of "unhealthy" INFPs.

like my friend, infp 7w6 so sx who blames others for his misfortunes. even people he dont know.

The problem is your friend, not INFPs.

and also not using Te makes them useless

That comment is useless.

do i need to analyze more?

Whining about INFPs =/= analysis.

 

[Mole]

*rolls eyes*

UGH.. those are emotional criticism, not insults, fool. im criticising you for your emotional irrationality. -.-
learn to accept criticism, maybe then you can grow?

I come here to present new ideas and listen to criticism.

However I am resolutely opposed to personal insults towards me or any member because personal insults are against the rules and may lead to banning.

 

[prplchknz]

i think this thread has turned into place for people to voice their prejudices against people they don't like by attaching an arbitrary type to said person

 

[Society]

here's a question: unhealthy to who - themselves or to others? and no, those don't always contradict, but they aren't always one of the same either - many types seem to exhibit behaviors that are potentially destructive to others around them but they themselves are in peace with and find value in.

 

[ygolo]

i think this thread has turned into place for people to voice their prejudices against people they don't like by attaching an arbitrary type to said person

This is the main usage of typology. To give names to people's prejudices.

 

[Coriolis]

I come here to present new ideas and listen to criticism.

However I am resolutely opposed to personal insults towards me or any member because personal insults are against the rules and may lead to banning.

What is the difference between an insult and an unflattering observation, or a criticism?

 

[prplchknz]

This is the main usage of typology. To give names to people's prejudices.

true dat

 

[greenfairy]

What is the difference between an insult and an unflattering observation, or a criticism?

In my opinion: an insult is designed to make the person feel bad about her/himself. An unflattering observation or criticism is not insulting if the intent is to not affect the listener this way; taking care to make sure this doesn't happen makes the intention clear. Not taking such care is not insulting in itself, but still is poor treatment because it shows the deliverer of the criticism does not care whether the receiver takes it as an insult; so in a way, if the receiver can't tell whether it is an insult or not, the deliverer is partly responsible no matter how much of a tendency the receiver has to get butthurt. Nevertheless, it is always preferable to avoid such tendencies in oneself.

 

[Coriolis]

In my opinion: an insult is designed to make the person feel bad about her/himself. An unflattering observation or criticism is not insulting if the intent is to not affect the listener this way; taking care to make sure this doesn't happen makes the intention clear. Not taking such care is not insulting in itself, but still is poor treatment because it shows the deliverer of the criticism does not care whether the receiver takes it as an insult.

I have always maintained that an insult is in the eye of the beholder. Are you saying instead that insult is in the intention of the speaker?

 

[greenfairy]

I have always maintained that an insult is in the eye of the beholder. Are you saying instead that insult is in the intention of the speaker?

Yes.

And I edited my post, so please read the last bit.

 

[greenfairy]

I have always maintained that an insult is in the eye of the beholder. Are you saying instead that insult is in the intention of the speaker?

So in your opinion, if you were to try to insult someone but they didn't take it as such, you would not have insulted them at all? It can't be all in the eye of the beholder.

 

[SolitaryWalker]

ISTP dogs are pure evil, all dogs should be ESTP!

 

[Coriolis]

So in your opinion, if you were to try to insult someone but they didn't take it as such, you would not have insulted them at all? It can't be all in the eye of the beholder.

Yes, that would be a failed attempt to insult. It works the same way with compliments. I have had people try to insult me by saying things that I receive simply as objective truths, and try to compliment me by describing me in ways that I find distinctly unflattering. I do not hold them responsible for whatever emotional effect I feel, but it does tell me something about their values and tastes, as well as how well they know me.

I don't try to insult people as a rule, but I can neither know nor be responsible for how someone (mis)interprets my statements. I might, for instance, try to compliment someone on their shoes by pointing out how sturdy and comfortable they look, qualities I value. If the person intended the shoes as a fashion statement, they might interpret my "compliment" to mean the shoes are unattractive, with only practical value, and feel insulted rather than complimented. This difference in interpretation is based entirely on the other person's values and mindset. In making comments, especially criticisms, then, I follow two rules of thumb: is it accurate, and is it useful.