Am I even an ENFP?

[ScottJames]

I'm a huge prude. Whenever I walk into a new classroom, I have practically no interest in chatting with anyone unless I find them physically attractive. I've never been a "leader", a "bro" or "the life of the party" either, I've always been an independent behind the scenes person. I could never relate to this description of ENFPs as these "bright" social butterflies who engage everybody, I'm only like that sometimes, in which case I only engage people I find interesting. I'm not an active engager or initiator when in big groups, I'm mainly observant and behind the scenes (like most introverts, but it could be E6-cautiousness) when thing's are boring, and then loosen up once the fun's begun. I have very few deep relationships (wish I had more) and have maybe have 2 people that text me consistently. In highschool absolutely noone would see me as an extrovert except for a few people. I had a few friends that I drove absolutely crazy and would NOT leave alone, but to everyone else I was the ultimate introvert (I was very socially anxious at the time).

The one thing that I feel makes me an ENFP is that I have the mind of a hedonist; I make crude jokes, I like random hook ups, I like violent popcorn movies, everything I think about and enjoy is surface-value stuff and how they relate to one another. I barely think about morality or feely stuff and I'm pretty uncomfortable dwelling deep into my emotions and kind of find the topic cringe-worthy most of the time. Also, when around any introverts or someone I really like, I'm an absolute nut who dominates conversation. I can even dominate conversation when talking to my ESTP friend and make him laugh every 2 seconds, but a random ESTP I barely know? Hell no.

I tend to withdraw alot (I go straight home after school ends most of the time) and can maybe handle 2 hours of boring socializing tops. If I'm having lots of fun though, I'll hang around all day.

I'm either really gentle, sad-looking and soft-spoken, or really brash, boy-ish and slightly bubbly (more domineering and virile around people I'm comfortable with). I'm confusing as sh-t. I also have an easier time connection with girls and intuitive/feeler/light-hearted guys than serious earthy macho dudes.

So what do you think I'm an ENFP, or a sociable INFP?

Well based on what you've said, Introvert seems obvious.

 

[Stansmith]

How does ENFP Te-Si look compared to INFP Si-Te? When sh-t hits the fan I don't go guns-ablazing yelling at people like stereotypical ENFP-Te, but I can quickly come up with an idea to solve or alleviate the problem (whether I follow through with it exactly or not is a different story). When it comes to emotional or self-confidence related issues I'm more SiFi-ish and complacent.

 

[Stansmith]

ENFP/ESTJ: Ne/Te or Te/Ne--Borderline Personality Disorder.

The ENFP I described above may have been one of these types. They simultaneously desire to control and dazzle others with their extraordinary leadership and grandiose performances. For the ENFP, this tends to take the form of insisting on consistent, scheduled attention from others for his/her artistic or creative gifts, while for the ESTJ it tends to manifest itself in terms of indignation when others refuse to follow every detail of the user's "visionary" leadership style. This combination, ironically, makes the user extremely dependent upon others for meaning, never really finding a sense of internal balance, no matter how hard he works to create and delegate. While Te leads these types to desire structure and discipline, Ne continually contradicts it by insisting on impulsive displays of creative freedom. Often self-denigrating over the inability to control Ne's impulsive explorations, Te will go to any lengths to keep the user in a position of power and influence, where others must defer to his authority.*

If Fi/Si were doing its job, these types would recognize that what they're looking for cannot be found outside themselves--they must learn to sometimes live for themselves and only themselves, and forget about external results for a moment.

INFP/ISTJ: Fi/Si or Si/Fi--Avoidant Personality Disorder.

Often scarred by some intensely negative past experience with opening up too many of their private emotions, this type compulsively avoids social situations and interaction with others. They are fiercely sensitive and may exaggerate or misconstrue perceived negative emotional intent in the words or actions of others. They will sometimes project their negative feelings onto others (Fi), as Si tells them that if I were to behave this way, I would have to be very upset, so anyone who behaves that way must also be. These types often have a chronic problem with trusting the intentions or motivations of others, refusing to share private information with even their closest friends and family. They are so deeply sensitive that they refuse to risk being hurt by attempting deep connections with others--you'll see this a lot in ISTJs with Asperger's. If Ne/Te were doing its job, these types would maintain a heathy grip on the importance of letting go of the past and trying something new in the name of accomplishing a greater goal, but some of these remain total recluses for most (if not all) of their lives.

If Ne/Te were doing its job, these types would maintain a heathy grip on the importance of letting go of the past and trying something new in the name of accomplishing a greater goal, but some of these remain total recluses for most (if not all) of their lives.

I relate to both issues. I was Si-Fi the first 2 years of highschool and have been for the past few months, whereas I was more Ne-Te attention and approval-seeking (without the Te-bitchslap or blunt-nastiness) for most of the past 3 years.

 

[ScottJames]

How does ENFP Te-Si look compared to INFP Si-Te? When sh-t hits the fan I don't go guns-ablazing yelling at people like stereotypical ENFP-Te, but I can quickly come up with an idea to solve or alleviate the problem (whether I follow through with it exactly or not is a different story). When it comes to emotional or self-confidence related issues I'm more SiFi-ish and complacent.

One of INFP's biggest leverage points for personal development is in Ne. If they don't feel secure and resourceful they can tend to lean more into Si, which often results a rebellious attitude, but sticking to what's comfortable and familiar. Healthy INFPs will grow by experimentation and exploration.

ENFPs naturally swim in Ne. They're exploring and trying new things in a way that's as ingrained as breathing air. Si for them, can be experienced as an uncomfortable to terrifying feeling of being trapped by the world or external structures or as an influx of, or tendency to dwell on, painful memories. This usually comes out during extreme stress.

 

[Starry]

I love the attachment painting someone posted. It had so much nature. It also had the sky meeting a breeze and forests and it seemed lacking in clarity whilst being perfectly clear at the same time. Maybe like a crystal ball going in and out of focus.

I missed this earlier... and am quoting now in order to say I was almost spooked because this was exactly what I saw as well. The only difference was I imagined those lens that science instructor's use to refract light...as opposed to a crystal ball...(I like crystal ball better as well.)

omg do you actually know my parents were infj/enfp?!!?? or was that a guess?? my dad was the enfp tho

I don't remember how I knew your parents were an INFJ/ENFP couple but I'm assuming you have spoken about it here before As an interesting aside...I sometimes like to pretend that gromit and tinker are my parents haha!

My father was ENFP, but he died…

I admit, I have heard one irl example to the contrary... but other than that from everything I've been told I can only conclude...when the universe is assigning you the ENFP dad... that's a sure sign you are blessed and quite close to obtaining nirvana.

I recently told this story to an INTJ member here... I was probably around your age and went along with a group of people/friends to a Hallmark store as they were all intent on purchasing a Father's Day card. <--Now this was something I had never done before (and have never done since)...for my INTJ father as he only ever wants food and will say things like..."Ah don't get me any of that other bullshit...just make me >insert food item<." An additional reason for never stepping foot into a Hallmark on behalf of my father is because they literally do not make greeting cards for INTJ fathers. If your father is Halla or Qlip or tinker... there will be a card there for you...and it will say stuff like... "Dad, you've always been there for me...to lift me up and support me when I needed it."

Ummm... every one that I had gone to the Hallmark with that day...had selected a card for their normal father and had purchased it. While I stood there with like 20 cards in my arms...cards on the floor, etc. and the room started spinning and the walls started to close in on me... I just couldn't find that one card that said... "Dad, remember when you attempted to support me by reminding me, again, that there is no God or meaning to Life so why worry 'cause 'who's going to give a shit 100 years from now?'...Yah, that would have been helpful if it hadn't threaten to destroy the very fabric of my entire existence..." <--No cards say this kind of sentiment...so I left empty handed.

*******************

As for the functions test... no, I wasn't provided a type...and yes, I thought the questions were pretty bad... but I can't deny that it gave me accurate results. But Standsmith... here's another functions tests that you may want to take. This test was given to us by Zarathustra... and is from this ENFP thread. Now, some people weren't all that happy with their results for this one as well... but this is just how these things go.

 

[Lady_X]

I missed this earlier... and am quoting now in order to say I was almost spooked because this was exactly what I saw as well. The only difference was I imagined those lens that science instructor's use to refract light...as opposed to a crystal ball...(I like crystal ball better as well.)




I don't remember how I knew your parents were an INFJ/ENFP couple but I'm assuming you have spoken about it here before As an interesting aside...I sometimes like to pretend that gromit and tinker are my parents haha!




I admit, I have heard one irl example to the contrary... but other than that from everything I've be told I can only conclude...when the universe is assigning you the ENFP dad... that's a sure sign you are blessed and quite close to obtaining nirvana.

I recently told this story to an INTJ member here... I was probably around your age and went along with a group of people/friends to a Hallmark store as they were all intent on purchasing a Father's Day card. <--Now this was something I had never done before (and have never done since)...for my INTJ father as he only ever wants food and will say things like..."Ah don't get me any of that other bullshit...just make me >insert food item<." An additional reason for never stepping foot into a Hallmark on behalf of my father is because they literally do not make greeting cards for INTJ fathers. If your father is Halla or Qlip or tinker... there will be a card there for you...and it will say stuff like... "Dad, you've always been there for me...to lift me up and support me when I needed it."

Ummm... every one that I had gone to the Hallmark with that day...had selected a card for their normal father and had purchased it. While I stood there with like 20 cards in my arms...cards on the floor, etc. and the room started spinning and the walls started to close in on me... I just couldn't find that one card that said... "Dad, remember when you attempted to support me by reminding me, again, that there is no God or meaning to Life so why worry 'cause 'who's going to give a shit 100 years from now?'...Yah, that would have been helpful if it hadn't threaten to destroy the very fabric of my entire existence..." <--No cards say this kind of sentiment...so I left empty handed.

*******************

As for the functions test... no, I wasn't provided a type...and yes, I thought the questions were pretty bad... but I can't deny that it gave me accurate results. But Standsmith... here's another functions tests that you may want to take. This test was given to us by Zarathustra... and is from this ENFP thread. Now, some people weren't all that happy with their results for this one as well... but this is just how these things go.

i've been in a test taking mood lately so thanks.
this one gave more typical results for me...and i absolutely feel like if i weren't enfp i would be infp first then entp.

Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
extraverted Sensing (Se) *********************** (23.1)
limited use
introverted Sensing (Si) ************* (13.8)
unused
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************************************************** (50.5)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) *********************************** (35.3)
good use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ******************** (20.8)
limited use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ******************** (20.2)
limited use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) **************************** (28.3)
average use
introverted Feeling (Fi) *********************************************** (47.4)
excellent use

Summary Analysis of Profile
By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: ENFP

Lead (Dominant) Process
Extraverted Intuiting (Ne): Exploring the emerging patterns. Wondering about patterns of interaction across various situations. Checking what hypotheses and meanings fit best. Trusting what emerges as you shift a situation’s dynamics.

Support (Auxilliary) Process
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Staying true to who you really are. Paying close attention to your personal identity, values and beliefs. Checking with your conscience. Choosing behavior congruent with what is important to you.

If these cognitive processes don't fit well then consider these types: INFP, or ENTP

 

[Dr Mobius]

Have you tried study abroad? Different countries have different standards for behavior and what is considered normal psychology. In Ireland and New Zealand, for example, ENFP is in the majority, and thus…ENFP is what everyone strives to be…

Where in the world did you get the idea that NZ was a nation for and of ENFPs? Personal and the only statistical evidence I’ve ever seen point to that not being the case at all.

 

[Avocado]

Where in the world did you get the idea that NZ was a nation for and of ENFPs? Personal and the only statistical evidence I’ve ever seen point to that not being the case at all.

Some website…

 

[ScottJames]

[MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION]

Have you tried study abroad? Different countries have different standards for behavior and what is considered normal psychology. In Ireland and New Zealand, for example, ENFP is in the majority, and thus…ENFP is what everyone strives to be…

There isn't country on the planet where ENFPs are in the majority. Not even close. The 16 types balance each other out. A country made up of mostly ENFPs wouldn't last very long.

 

[Starry]

There isn't country on the planet where ENFPs are in the majority. Not even close. The 16 types balance each other out. A country made up of mostly ENFPs wouldn't last very long.

Demographics is not what is being discussed here. In other words, no one here is attempting to identify the nation with 'the greatest number of ENFPs' as we all know Atlantis was swallowed by the sea hundreds of years ago. What is being referenced is an overall typing of a nation's culture...which isn't necessarily an uncommon or unheard-of practice by any means.

For example, Italian culture is generally typed as ESFP (I've also seen it typed as ENFP...and by sheer coincidence I am Italian and am ENFP.) Here are a couple of little travel blurbs on Italian culture... does anything read like an ESFP description?

Of course it is not possible to apply a definite mindset to the entire population of Italy; however, a few common traits do seem to be evident in many Italians. In general Italian people come across as having quite a relaxed attitude towards life and being self assured. Italian people are also known for being very expressive of their emotions and this shows both in their propensity for world renowned art as well as what can often be a short temper.

Italians generally are effusive in their public behavior. There is a great deal of public embracing and kissing upon greeting people. It is also polite to sit close to people and to interact by lightly touching people on the arms. Italian gazes are intense. It is felt that someone who cannot look you in the eyes is trying to hide something. Elders expect and get respect. They enter a room first. Men stand for women and youngsters for adults. Children tend to be used to run errands and help any adult, certainly any adult in the family. Gazing intently at strangers is common, and Italians expect to be looked at in public. Italians have little respect for lines and generally push their way to the front. There is great care given to preserving one's bella figura, dignity. Violating another's sense of self–importance is a dangerous activity.

I'm totally cracking up at that last line...'Violating another's sense of self–importance is a dangerous activity.' <--I'm not sure it gets any more Fi than this.

Anyway, the times I've been in Italy...I feel that. I realize I'm not the best example since this is my cultural heritage as well...and is why I hope for Stansmith and Magic Qwan to travel to Italy and report back... but I feel more comfortable there. I feel like I'm at ease in Italy in a way I do not in the United States...because the features of my personality are more acceptable there. If I'm late? 'Cosa importa eh?' If I get emotional... 'Non ho bisogno di nascondere il mio volto.' I can love big in Italy and it's 'pura libertà!'

 

[HongDou]

Demographics is not what is being discussed here. In other words, no one here is attempting to identify the nation with 'the greatest number of ENFPs' as we all know Atlantis was swallowed by the sea hundreds of years ago.

HAHA

And the remaining ENFPs are left to carry on their former nation's legacy

 

[Starry]

HAHA

And the remaining ENFPs are left to carry on their former nation's legacy

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

[ScottJames]

Demographics is not what is being discussed here. In other words, no one here is attempting to identify the nation with 'the greatest number of ENFPs' as we all know Atlantis was swallowed by the sea hundreds of years ago. What is being referenced is an overall typing of a nation's culture...which isn't necessarily an uncommon or unheard-of practice by any means.

I'm quite familiar with the concept of typing cultures. The statement I was addressing was a statement about demographics.

"In Ireland and New Zealand, for example, ENFP is in the majority"

 

[HongDou]

Ireland seems more IFP to me.

Edit: I declare this meaty slab of text my 300th post.

 

[Starry]

I'm quite familiar with the concept of typing cultures. The statement I was addressing was a statement about demographics.

"In Ireland and New Zealand, for example, ENFP is in the majority"

Well, I can't rule out the possibility that Magic Qwan was speaking strictly of demographics in reference to NZ & Ireland (only) and 'culture' for the rest of the nations listed in that post. Perhaps it is the case that he in fact was. But Magic Q is one smart little whippet... with an ENFP father and as an ENFP himself...I imagine he knows our 'numbers' and can do the math. If taking the total population of both NZ & Ireland...for ENFPs to dominate the population in both those nations may mean there are no ENFPs living anywhere else in the world - which I'd be okay with really (although I call dibs on summering in Eire...and wintering in NZ.)

I also have an advantage because I am fluent in Enfpese...and know which words we grab a hold of when we're 17 and going 100 miles an hour 24/7. Surely for an INFJ 'majority' always means 'numbers' and rightly so. Well, for an ENFP 'majority' can stand-in for 'influence' in a pinch. Still, I could be wrong... only MQ will be able to answer that.

Ireland seems more IFP to me.

Edit: I declare this meaty slab of text my 300th post.

Witnessed & Noterized by Starry July 30, 2013

 

[Dr Mobius]

Some website…

Ah, I wonder if it wasn’t biased on someone’s trip to NZ, because in that case NZ is a fun place to visit and an ENFP would have a blast. But NZ is pretty stereotypically ISTP and enneagram is probably 6w5 at a guess, and that’s what people strive to be. I mainly pointed it out though because Americans who come to live in NZ usually have some pretty major culture shock, I don’t know what kind of idea’s you guys have about us, but apparently it clashes with the reality. Probably why there is only about 20,000 Yanks over here and vice versa, so maybe not the best option for American ENFPs?

If taking the total population of both NZ & Ireland...for ENFPs to dominate the population in both those nations may mean there are no ENFPs living anywhere else in the world - which I'd be okay with really

Well you guys are 8% of the US population which would be something like 24 million, and the combined populations of both countries would be around 9 million…… it would barely make a dent.

(although I call dibs on summering in Eire...and wintering in NZ.)

Really? I’d have it the other way around personally in the winter NZ is cold, windy, and very wet; while in summer its usually great weather. Ireland on the other hand is cold, windy and very wet all year round.

Witnessed & Noterized by Starry July 30, 2013

If my extended family is anything to go on Si and Fe would be more accurate, the repressed group anger and bitterness of 600 years tends to beat you down a bit; though I do think that INFP is the image that tourists see of the tragically romantic Emerald Isle.

 

[Starry]

Well you guys are 8% of the US population which would be something like 24 million, and the combined populations of both countries would be around 9 million…… it would barely make a dent.

Gee thanks Troll for stepping-in and correcting me here. You must have "intuitively" picked-up on the fact that I wanted nothing more than to be as accurate as I possibly could with those figures... And yet I just couldn't keep it all straight...you know...seeing how I was running out of fingers & toes to count on.

Really? I’d have it the other way around personally in the winter NZ is cold, windy, and very wet; while in summer its usually great weather. Ireland on the other hand is cold, windy and very wet all year round.

Oh wow, I apologize... See the way I wrote that...leading with Ireland first and all... I thought it would be obvious that 'Ireland' was the 'base reference point'...but here I've gone and confused you! Please let me clarify...

So when I said I'd like to 'summer in Ireland'... that's just a fancy way of saying...I'd like to be in Ireland during Ireland's summer. Then (now stay with me here because I can now see how difficult this all was to comprehend...) then when Ireland is having their winter...that's when I'd like to be in New Zealand. Or 'winter in NZ.' Yah next time I'll try to be more clear.

If my extended family is anything to go on Si and Fe would be more accurate, the repressed group anger and bitterness of 600 years tends to beat you down a bit; though I do think that INFP is the image that tourists see of the tragically romantic Emerald Isle.

Well, it appears you would know.

 

[Dr Mobius]

[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] apparently there is a miscommunication here, the first two where jokes:

The one about the ENFP population was a shock/horror it’s simply too many people, she can’t take much more captain! That’s why I had the shock emoticon on the end of it.

The second one is what I thought was a very common joke, about how the Irish are always complaining about how miserable it is over there, and the sun never shinning.

The third was an opinion no more or less valid then anyone else’s, I was trying to use it as a conversation starter, to get you talking about your experiences in Ireland that made you think of the nation as INFP counter phobic 6; as your posts in this thread have been quite interesting.

I think that at this point I can conclude that my online communication skills are utterly terrible to put it positively. I entered this thread to point out that NZ wasn’t some sort of ENFP haven, and that running away from ones problems to another country rarely solves them. But I feel bad turning someone’s journey to self-discovery into something else, and by the snide comment about my username and general passive aggressive tone throughout your post it’s obvious you’ve prejudged me as a noxious troll, (It was the combination of the name and MBTI type right?) rather than the shy and awkward person that I am. So I will bow out at this point and apologise to the OP for making such a hash of his thread.

 

[five sounds]

Found this little writeup in case anyone's interested in taking a look.

They don't really provide much information about WHY those countries are better for the different personality types, but they do cite a book that you can buy on Amazon, haha.

http://www.takenbythewind.com/2010/10/27/which-country-best-matches-your-personality/

 

[citizen cane]

Getting back to the intent of the thread, I see nothing remotely ENFP about you, [MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION]. I'm usually terrible at typing people and yet this is quite clear to me.