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How much do you identify with others of your type?

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Often, yes. But I also identify with folks of other types. And sometimes people just feel like kindreds of a sort because we have similar values and/or outlooks on life. There are a lot of people that I respect, admire, and enjoy around here.

Occasionally I'll run across an INFJ and think :wtf: but there are a lot of factors that go into making a person who they are beyond their MBTI type.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
Short answer: no.

The longer answer is that I don't really relate to anyone on here, or for that matter in real life. As people know I've always had a problem with my type and typology in general.

It seems to work when you accept some premises as true while at the same time questioning it just enough, but not to the point that you expose it's lack of solid evidence. The truth is I can believe typology, the heurestics are there, it just needs that little bit more to catch up.

But more personally I know that some of my problems with relating stem from my inner conflicts and inability to really open up. There are people in my life who have known me for most of it who describe me as open and honest, I ask them what exactly I have been open about and they usually stall because I talk.......sometimes a lot, but without actually saying anything deeply revealing.

I have had one or two intense moments with certain individuals where I can talk for hours to them, it's odd that this only happens on either vent or these few times in real life.

I tend to treat social interaction a bit flippantly and most of the time I'm just looking for an opening to joke. I suspect that's an easy defence mechanism socially as people like being made to laugh and often associate that with the source, so I slide under the radar. Not to mention the attention and ego feed it probably gives me.

However underneath it all I would say I am very certain of my morals, views, ethics and tastes....etc. But I somehow have a block on bringing this to the surface when necessary and it often means people will assume I am going along with something, when in reality I am watching the tides for the shift in the patterns.

This is because I keep trying to mentally train myself to cope with sudden eventualities that require immediate reaction, as well as coping with tragedy which is only ever a few years away.

Maybe I was dealt a bad hand in the identity department, or maybe circumstances in my life have pushed me to dissociate in some way. More likely that my own self-loathing drove me to assess a method of changing.

But there are some aspects that are very hard to shake loose. I was extremely sensitive when younger, ridiculously so, but I think I've managed to change that somewhat.

Sorry for the indulgent whining. Anyhow back on track, I have had problems with identifying with others, I've always felt pretty much alone in my thinking, but this could just be because of that aforementioned closed off nature with deceptive openness.

This is not a case of feeling unique however so much as having not yet discovered a similar individual, I would hazard there are millions, but perhaps I've been too self-absorbed to notice.

I will say I am not happy with the way people tend to trivialise others based on type. It hasn't happened that much but it has happened enough for me to notice.

What I REALLY want though is some more in-depth meaning to my life, some way in which I can touch the lives of others in a beneficial manner and know I've done something of worth.

Not servility....worth. People don't realise it has to be constantly topped up and this is also why no one can ever be wholly selfless, it's just a matter of degrees, because everyone needs worth.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Occasionally I'll run across an INFJ and think :wtf: but there are a lot of factors that go into making a person who they are beyond their MBTI type.

Or Enneagram type, Instinct Variants, etc. Certainly they all provide great insight on how people tick but the true essence of a person's personality is something that is unique to that person (and only that person). And it's not something that can be defined, but only learned unconsciously after getting to know someone. At least that's what I believe. :blush:
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I feel a lot of kindredness here with the long-standing INFJ members. I also feel that way with certain INFPs and INTJs.

The type descriptions of INFJ tend to resonate about 80% or so with me. I typically don't relate to the more aggressive or controlling aspects of descriptions.
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
People I relate to:

ENFP, ENTP, ESFP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, E7s, E3s, E9s, E6s
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Not so much anymore, but when i was younger, yes. To go very enfp, i feel more like a Pocahontas kind of enfp, than the more prevalent Ariel or Mulan kind of enfp ;)
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
Not so much anymore, but when i was younger, yes. To go very enfp, i feel more like a Pocahontas kind of enfp, than the more prevalent Ariel or Mulan kind of enfp ;)

I feel like a blend between Ariel and Tony Stark from Iron Man
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Not so much anymore, but when i was younger, yes. To go very enfp, i feel more like a Pocahontas kind of enfp, than the more prevalent Ariel or Mulan kind of enfp ;)

I often feel more akin to the guy ENFP's.... or sometimes the ebil baddy ENF-movie-P's (people usually laugh this off, "Lila from Dexter...wtf" but it's there, brooding, misunderstood, explosive, capable). I rarely get sooo much identity with other female ENFP's... though the odd game of tag team is fun. :smile:
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I identify with other INFJs here. In other places, not so much. I enjoy most of the company here, actually, but it's particularly comforting to me to read another INFJ's answer to a question and find myself nodding along in agreement, feeling like they also articulated my own unspoken position perfectly.


As reluctant as I am to go on a tangent about feeling systematically misunderstood by most people, it’s just true. I frustrate the bejeezus out of people, and probably actually more myself in constantly trying to figure out how to not frustrate the bejeezus out of people. So reading other INFJs here relate to the delayed processing, and other quirks- just generally the stuff that makes me feel like a wrench in someone else’s machine- yeah, it’s comforting. I do have a couple irl friends who are INFJs I’ve gotten the heebie jeebies from in the same way, but it especially shows up in this written medium of communication (where responses are more thought out/refined than when simply hanging out with someone talking).

And as far as doubting someone’s type when they identify as INFJ and I can’t relate to them- I think that I used to, but it just sort of falls of the radar to me now. As I get to know people, they either become a prominent piece of my external environment (their presence sorta stands out to me) or they fade into the background- according to how much sense they make to me. And there are a lot of people who identify as INFJ who ‘fade into the background’ (like possibly the entire per c group- as others have commented, I don’t understand the appeal of that site at all). I don’t really put much further thought into it.
 

Honor

girl with a pretty smile
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
1,580
MBTI Type
?
Instinctual Variant
so
Short answer: no.

The longer answer is that I don't really relate to anyone on here, or for that matter in real life. As people know I've always had a problem with my type and typology in general.

It seems to work when you accept some premises as true while at the same time questioning it just enough, but not to the point that you expose it's lack of solid evidence. The truth is I can believe typology, the heurestics are there, it just needs that little bit more to catch up.

But more personally I know that some of my problems with relating stem from my inner conflicts and inability to really open up. There are people in my life who have known me for most of it who describe me as open and honest, I ask them what exactly I have been open about and they usually stall because I talk.......sometimes a lot, but without actually saying anything deeply revealing.

I have had one or two intense moments with certain individuals where I can talk for hours to them, it's odd that this only happens on either vent or these few times in real life.

I tend to treat social interaction a bit flippantly and most of the time I'm just looking for an opening to joke. I suspect that's an easy defence mechanism socially as people like being made to laugh and often associate that with the source, so I slide under the radar. Not to mention the attention and ego feed it probably gives me.

However underneath it all I would say I am very certain of my morals, views, ethics and tastes....etc. But I somehow have a block on bringing this to the surface when necessary and it often means people will assume I am going along with something, when in reality I am watching the tides for the shift in the patterns.

This is because I keep trying to mentally train myself to cope with sudden eventualities that require immediate reaction, as well as coping with tragedy which is only ever a few years away.

Maybe I was dealt a bad hand in the identity department, or maybe circumstances in my life have pushed me to dissociate in some way. More likely that my own self-loathing drove me to assess a method of changing.

But there are some aspects that are very hard to shake loose. I was extremely sensitive when younger, ridiculously so, but I think I've managed to change that somewhat.

Sorry for the indulgent whining. Anyhow back on track, I have had problems with identifying with others, I've always felt pretty much alone in my thinking, but this could just be because of that aforementioned closed off nature with deceptive openness.

This is not a case of feeling unique however so much as having not yet discovered a similar individual, I would hazard there are millions, but perhaps I've been too self-absorbed to notice.

I will say I am not happy with the way people tend to trivialise others based on type. It hasn't happened that much but it has happened enough for me to notice.

What I REALLY want though is some more in-depth meaning to my life, some way in which I can touch the lives of others in a beneficial manner and know I've done something of worth.

Not servility....worth. People don't realise it has to be constantly topped up and this is also why no one can ever be wholly selfless, it's just a matter of degrees, because everyone needs worth.
Hmm, I know I said you come off as way more ISFJ than ESFJ and I hold to that, but this post is very ENFP-ish.

+ I know you're going to ask me to elaborate, so let me explain why. It just struck me in this post that you seem dissatisfied by the lack of feeling like your life is currently infused with spiritual purpose/deeper meaning. It also seems like the connections you have with people right now aren't profound or inspiring you in any way.

Also, being aware of why you are dissatisfied does not mean that you are self-indulgent or whining. :) Seems like you can't become a satisfied person without figuring out why you're dissatisfied and how to be satisfied!
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
Hmm, I know I said you come off as way more ISFJ than ESFJ and I hold to that, but this post is very ENFP-ish.

+ I know you're going to ask me to elaborate, so let me explain why. It just struck me in this post that you seem dissatisfied by the lack of feeling like your life is currently infused with spiritual purpose/deeper meaning. It also seems like the connections you have with people right now aren't profound or inspiring you in any way.

Also, being aware of why you are dissatisfied does not mean that you are self-indulgent or whining. :) Seems like you can't become a satisfied person without figuring out why you're dissatisfied and how to be satisfied!

The interesting aspect to my decision making is that I usually come to a cognitive conclusion based on my personal views.

I do agree with Fe at least, but those personal views are generally not shared in the least by others and explanation of them usually causes derision.
I've basically been able to lead a life where, for the most part, I was doing things I actually wanted to do. Although lately I have been forced to find a job, two in fact, as is the dictate of a capitilist society.

Society, now there's a topic. That's something else as well, I'm not really in tune with my society, in fact I have little love for the concept of society at all, yes if it is a good and sound one it helps to govern and keep some people on a decent path, but too often it turns an oppression of some kind and one of the worst oppressions of a capitilist society is putting a price on life......that of 6.19 an hour.

On the other hand there are many benefits as well, such as materialistic goods to while the hours away with and a fairly whimiscal economy, oh wait that can also be bad.

If I were in charge of a society, ( the horror right?), I would probably try to introduce educational systems starting at school ages, that sought to introduce a better self awareness and understanding of the self. Because too long have people relied upon external structure for their governance in life. External structure helps of course, but that needs to be backed up by a deeper understanding of the consequences of our choices, the knowledge of ourselves and our own foibles, that we might guard ourselves against them and then eventually understand them.

External imposition through laws and rules can only take people so far, there needs to be more understanding turned inward as well.

I've always thought that people were far more psychological than they made themselves out to be. Even a group of people standing around just gossiping are being psychological in a way, as they are assessing others and maybe themselves, just on a small and superficial scale. But imagine tapping into that and giving the average person the mental equipment to go in-depth with those assessments and maybe come to a better consideration rather than just judging and moving on.

This I suppose is where the Fe-ism comes in because I have asked myself whether or not it could be that certain types of cognition are overly catered to and their negative sides enabled much more than others.

So It might seem like I'm trying to get people to conform to behaviour I see as proper, but really I want them to be themselves, but a much happier and healthy version of themselves which is beneficial for everyone in the long run.

I personally see this as one of the main routes we could possibly take in the future as a species, a movement towards a better understanding and consideration for all.

Now that's some serious Fe, although whether or not my vision is naive based on differences in intelligence and understanding and how these ideas could be translated across without diluting them too much, remains to be seen
 

Eric B

ⒺⓉⒷ
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
3,621
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
548
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ENFPs: a lot, minus some of the people pleasing tendencies and need for acceptance present in many of them

I tend to identify with the INFPs on this forum. I spent some time on Personality Cafe and got pretty sick of the 'INFPs' there. I don't know whether many of them were mistyped (I imagine many are) or if they were all just so very, very young, but I found so much of the discussion to be vomit inducing. There was too much nicey-nicey, virtual hugs, or griping about and wallowing in problems. Each thread was either a saccharine love-fest or like a bunch of emo teenagers talking about how deep and sad their lives are. I just didn't find enough critical discussion; people sharing real opinions and debating over it. It also seemed like they were all self-consciously attempting to live up to, and perpetuate, INFP stereotypes, which turned them into a bunch of mindless sheep - and inauthenticity is a mortal sin to a INFP. The INFPs here are real individuals, that have real points of view; that is much more appealling to me. Total agreement and commonality can be a seriously dull affair. I also think a person having properly engaged Ne makes a difference. I suppose that's why I didn't like PC: people lacked Ne-style novelty, inspiration, insight, absurdity, irony, cheekiness etc - it was all just so earnest and repetitive. Besides, TC INFPs actually get grumpy, stubborn, and flippant, which makes me feel more at home. :D

Overall what I identify with is people that really like to consider, discuss and question things. People that make insightful points/arguments that really cut to the heart of things. People that appreciate and recognise complexity and see the world in shades of grey. People that know when to play the devil's advocate (perhaps even to their own argument) or re-centre/re-focus/re-position a discussion and bring it back what really matters. People that use humour to reveal truth. People who are attuned to possible negative effects on people and the dangers of going down the path of certain arguments. It's not so much what they talk about, but how they talk about it that appeals to me. I just really love it when I read a post and it just lights up my brain in the right way; it makes me feel connected to that person. I suppose any type can fulfil all this, but the NFPs do it in the way that satisfies me the most consistently.

These are interesting and difficult questions. I don't usually question people's type here, but if I met a INFP IRL that I didn't click with, I might do so. I tend to steer clear of the INFPs (and ENFPs) I don't identify with because they can irritate me more, and I can wind up in arguments with them (which I should avoid). If they fit the type, I just let go of the differences. They are, what they are, and I am, what I am - no big deal. It doesn't really undermine my understanding of the type.

Overall, I identify pretty well with other INTPs. I identify with some more than others. I tend to identify more with the INTPs who have a bit of an INFP streak.

There are other factors too such as MBTI type- INTJ v.s. INTP and variants sx/sp v.s. sp/so and socionics types. ILI vs LII.

Also, that any Behind the Scenes (ISF/INP) or NF type can be either Phlegmatic or Supine in the corresponding area of temperament (affective or conative). The Supine will generally be an exaggerated version of some of the traits (like people-pleasing, neediness of acceptance, etc), while the Phlegmatic will be a subdued version. Many people are probably somewhere in between. (There are two variants, Supine-Phlegmatic and Phlegmatic-Supine).

So Supine INTP's will seem more INFP'ish, while Phlegmatic INFP's will have less of those stereotypical INFP traits. So they may not completely identify with their type, and my have a low clarity on T/F preference.
 
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