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Type and personal space

G

Glycerine

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I am not the biggest fan of hugs... I usually squirm. Notoriously big huggers usually settle for a handshake from me. It's funny.
 

cascadeco

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sp/sx
I don't mind hugs/physical contact all that much, even if from strangers. I give a lot of contextual/personality grace, probably along the lines of what tilty's referring to.

But yeah, I wasn't thinking of Personal Space in only that context.

My ex is possibly on the far extreme end of requiring personal space, such that he has no desire/ability to co-habitate with anyone, his space needs are so important to him. It's a main reason he's now my ex. ;) (although still a close friend)
 

Nicki

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I hate people who are assholes about personal space. Like people who start yelling when someone touches them (not inappropriately). Be polite. Personally, I like to initiate hugs but I don't like it when people attempt to hug me.
 

jcloudz

Yup
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I view these things kind of as spectra with intx being at one particular extreme in this case and perhaps esfp at the other. The real answer is of course that people who grow up in rural areas are more likely to require more personal space whereas people who grow up in urban environments require less. It has to do with the population density of the place you grew up in with perhaps even the culture of the individual home you grew up in, etc contributing


agreed. i know a few extroverts that like going out and partying but when they come home, they want to have that personal space to themselves. im fiercely protective of my personal space. only nature and those i care deeply about may enter my space but even than i still need that space, or i will turn like the shining, axe and all......:(


really like this observation.
 

UniqueMixture

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^ this is just a very small part of why I do not view type as an intrinsic part of the human being because personality is obviously affected by environmental factors like population density. For example cultures with you have a history of Major epidemics overtime have different social rituals to help prevent disease Which often includes less body contact with strangers. I think introversion can often be influenced by physical and environmental factors as introverts tend to have more densely packed neurons in certain parts of their brains which makes them more sensitive to exp erience however obviously things like bullying, teasing, at cetera can play a role here
 

KDude

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Your theory sucks. There are plenty of private individuals in urban areas hurling pots and pans downstairs, telling everyone to STFU.
 

Within

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I find this topic interesting, there seem to be a cultural factor at play here as well. Comparing say Spain to Sweden, the personal space energy field holds a vast difference.

In all honesty getting all up in someone else's space makes no sense to me what so ever and makes me shudder at the very thought, but apparently some people find it comforting knowing what you had for lunch. Perhaps it's just the equivalence of a dog sniffing another dogs ass.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I think it can be a conglommeration of several factors. MBTI, I am sure, plays some part in it. Instincts would be another key piece, and like [MENTION=9187]Within[/MENTION] says, culture.

I very much hate my personal space being invaded. And there are just some people I encounter, for whom personal space is an alien concept. I have an aquaintance who is an ExFJ so/sx type and she is constantly trying tostandthisclosetomewecouldexchangebodyfluidswithoutmoving. And I am always backing away. I can tell it isn't even conscious for her, she just naturally gravitates towards being close to people. My proximity alarms always get a workout with her.

I will be physically affectionate with close friends and family, but most of this is out of tolerance for other people's needs.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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Which types really dislike having their personal space invaded? Also, which types tend to invade peoples space without regards to how the other person feels about this? There's an annoying person at my college who constantly does this to everyone, deliberately getting up close and being immature, that's how it got me wondering.

I really hate having my personal space invaded. Both my physical space and my mental space. By mental space, I mean times when I'm totally absorbed in my thoughts or some task and someone interrupts that. I also don't like it when people stand to close or show physical affection without asking me first. I think the physical space part is largely influenced by my culture and upbringing. I grew up in the upper midwest portion of the USA. Here, most people keep their physical distance with people they aren't close with. Also my family wasn't the type to demonstrate physical affection unless they were close to them. Some people like to just casually touch people in conversations. For them it's just a sign of friendliness, nothing more. To me, it seemed more like a sexual gesture.
 

AgentF

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long-haul flights are bearable in one class of service, or with a boo sitting next to me to shield me from creatures who may accidentally brush up against me. if i am in my own world i prefer not to have my beautiful bubble burst with your little sounds, odors or moist mouth-breathing. :horror:

what was said about Latino and Muslim/Middle Eastern cultures is quite accurate, as was the comment about the distance Anglo-Saxon's like to keep. you should see their face when i come in for a kiss when, for ex, a mutual friend has just introduced us. it's just a kiss on the cheek for the love of science! (old white men are cute, they just quietly beam like i just squeezed their ass or something.)

so if we are to have a social bond, my hands or lips will be on you in some socially-acceptable way.* i'm perceptive enough to be affectionate in a respectful manner, though. which is why i waited a full two years to tickle one of my close INTJ friends--he looks like Tickle Me Elmo-meets-Saruman when i do.



*only you may not realize how i define "socially-acceptable" until i've handled you. such is the price you pay for not being more culturally-aware. :p
 

Jaguar

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There are plenty of private individuals in urban areas hurling pots and pans downstairs, telling everyone to STFU.

That could get expensive if you own decent cookware. Or do you retrieve it after the temper tantrum?
 

KDude

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That could get expensive if you own decent cookware. Or do you retrieve it after the temper tantrum?

I'm not speaking for myself. I live in a suburban area. It's OK, I guess, except for highways and movie theaters.
 

Honor

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I'm not usually fond of giving or receiving it. I think I broke typology :shrug:

But then, I didn't grow up with it, either. I think this issue is more nurture (upbringing and culture) than nature.
lol, don't worry, I know an ESFP who said she hates being hugged. That amused me.

Hmm, I always think of myself as an easy-to-approach person, but I have to say, now that I live in a big city, I feel like my personal space is being invaded all the time. I hate having so many people walking so close to me on the street and having so many strangers approaching me. With my friends/family, I'm always accused of being the affectionate one, though.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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I understand the influences of culture, and even rural/urban in that city dwellers usually live in much closer quarters with others, literally rubbing shoulders with strangers routinely. Type is a separate factor, whose influence becomes convolved with the others. An introvert in the city, or growing up in a culture where touching and closeness are commonplace, may develop a greater tolerance for it or greater strategies for handling it, but still won't necessarily like it. For an extravert, these tendencies instead reinforce each other.

I am certainly toward the end of the spectrum that wants to maximize personal space. I don't like to share my workspace, don't like to sit in crowded theaters or lecture halls, and despise the close quarters of airplanes and even airport waiting areas. I can count on one hand the people whose hugs I actually enjoy, and the number whose hugs I will tolerate is quite limited. (Shaking hands is fine.) One thing that annoys me about associating with women (perhaps just older women?) is that they feel a need to touch while we are talking - just a pat on the arm, or a hand on the shoulder - not prodding or guiding in any way, more as if to emphasize a point. But why??? I have learned to anticipate this and step back, or just stand out of range entirely.

so if we are to have a social bond, my hands or lips will be on you in some socially-acceptable way.* i'm perceptive enough to be affectionate in a respectful manner, though. which is why i waited a full two years to tickle one of my close INTJ friends--he looks like Tickle Me Elmo-meets-Saruman when i do.
I suppose it is good, then, that we came to know each other online.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
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I'm not sure on this. I have a lucky environment where most people only touch to shake hands or greet with a brief hug and kiss if female.

I used to hate crowds of people or any area in which I had to be in close proximity to anyone. However now i'm older and more experienced this anxiety is almost non-existent. In fact one girl at work loves to hug me all the time and there is even one lady in particular at my mum and dad's climbing club where I GIVE her a hug.

My physical size is another factor. I wouldn't say i'm huge but I am fairly tall and some can find that imposing so i'm rather self aware of my body, albeit still clumsy nonetheless.
 
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