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  1. #51
    Anew Leaf


    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    This would be ideal yes. But you can forget about that with a dom Fi. If I'ld insist on that it would mean to surpress her, cause Fi works without reasoning. Its a thing which I think is important to understand. Cause our whole society is build on reasoning and if you just aint like that, life can be very complicated for you. The whole family on my gf side is a very lovely one; I'ld wish for having such a family. They are all F-types and the things my gf learnt there aint in no ways compatible to what you'ld call 'normal' in society nor reasonable. No matter where I go with her she tends to stick out due to her inherent unconventionalness.

    I very much like that in her, cause I love sticking out and besides that I think this society sucks and they deserve to be shown that every day. The only problem tho is that sometimes you could have it easier with people, if you play by the rules. But because my gf is blind to that, she always has a hard time in her job, friends or even in the supermarket.

    This would be my attitude as well. Furthermore - and I think you agree - I like a relationship that evolves, meaning I dont form a relationship with a partner and we dont change each others. I like to evolve in the relationship, learn new things get better at things I suck at and its a constant progress in which both parties need to have the desire to learn from each other for me.

    It would be awful for me, if I had just to play the game of my partner and see now learning curve regarding my world in her.
    I don't think that Fi works without reasoning...

    I get what you are saying about your girlfriend... Maybe my age and experience is showing, but I don't think that Fi is supposed to always get its way on what it wants to do... dom or otherwise. At a certain point one has to adapt to survive. And I speak as someone who spent a good 3 decades of her life fighting against every system that was tossed at her just because she could.

    I just think at a certain point, one has to grow up a little (especially in a relationship) and realize that decisions that are made can affect others and to be more mindful of that. Choose your battles on what is important to override others' feelings and desires, instead of just making it a "BECUZ AH WANT TOOOOO."

    One can still be true to themselves without being all about themselves.

  2. #52
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    5w6 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    As an F, I've been comfortable allowing my emotional state to influence and guide my life. However, I often wonder how wise this is. I mean, the emotional state is so ephemeral, and it bothers me when something feels right and then I discover it's not actually right. I feel like I am then questioning the deep essence of myself or my sanity or both.

    I am not even sure if this is really a problem here, or just the nature of the beast of which I should be aware.

    I'm primarily curious if anyone has any thoughts, their own experiences, etc about this topic... if it IS a topic.
    We were evolutionarily conditioned to avoid dangers, distinguish between friends and foes, prolong positive relationships and avoid problematic ones. We can easily discern the correct solutions to many problems that we encounter in daily life and we can often do so an instinctual fashion. In those cases, feelings can be accurately guide us to make effective decisions. However, they tend to be misleading in scenarios that require a careful, methodical, comprehensive and a deliberate analysis of a complex scenario.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

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  3. #53


    To respond to the general sentiment behind the thread..

    So refine those feelings/intuitions. Learn from situations; tease out what gut tells you and whether or not it turns out to be on the right track.

    The best part is that a large part of that learning process happens naturally, but of course actually mulling over why it was right or wrong helps.

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