DAMN IT! I WANT TO HEAR FE USERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FE!

[greenfairy]

To try to answer your question directly....

I feel confusion, sadness, anxiety, irritation, self-consciousness, happiness, joy, suspicion, worry, lonely, alone, understood, misunderstood, despairing, hopeful, boredom, panic, helpless, content, at peace, dissatisfied, empowered, weary, exhilarated, embarrassed, regretful, curious, bitter, pleased, proud, hurt, disappointment, all depending on context, what's going on, where I'm at in life, the particular relationship I'm in, who I'm interacting with, whether I'm alone, whether I'm happy with my life and my relationships, whether I'm dissatisfied at the state of my life or the world around me.

I do not express many of these things, and many of the ebbs and flows in my overall mental state, because many of them do shift, and because in the end I really only give big credence to the lasting ones, which tell me something's up and I really need to figure out what's going on. A lot of the fleeting things...eh... I pay attention to them/notice them, but I'm more concerned with what I'll call my 'baseline' emotional state - overall, am I happy/satisfied/etc? Or overall am I the opposite? Etc.

These days, when the time is ripe/ I know how I feel (baseline emotions), I express it to those who are in my life, even if I may not be the most eloquent at it; I convey what's going on inside me to the best of my ability. As for fleeting feelings, I'm apt to express the fleeting positive ones without thought: When I'm really happy about something that exclamation will come out, without inhibition. Expressions of happiness/excitement come easily to me; expressions of the more negative emotions do not, as I either want to work through those on my own or I want to make sure it's a feeling that goes beyond the moment and is lasting, before I talk about it to those who may be involved/impacted.

And probably similar to most people, I have more trouble articulating the more complex things.

Yes. Agree.

I can feel others emotions pretty damn well. I can read someone very well, and know if they are happy, sad, glad, etc. I can instinctively hone in on what they want and what they need. In addition, I can sense the energy of a room: I can literally know exactly how everyone in a given room feels about me at any given time, and how they feel about each other. I can use this to my advantage to get what I want as well. I can easily manipulate people with this if I want.

Seconded. Energy sense.

Okay so basically fi and ti are more similar and fe te are more alike. Im sure I realized this at some point but really it's like ti and fi are personal and fe and te aren't. You don't feel attached to them. It's just collective data. So then would you say an infj would feel more attached to their ti ?

I think so. They would form Ti beliefs about what their Fe perceives, and emotionally attach to them.

 

[Lady_X]

Yes yes that clarifies it for me!

 

[KDude]

I think a lot of my Fe coincides with Se. Opening the valve on Se eventually leads to some Fe loosening up. Not quite social butterly, but it's a more social and active mode overall. I don't want to always proceed though. Usually my first inclination is weighing whether anything or anyone is worth my time. People who demand too much get grumbling or some fighting. So I'm not the greatest person to represent much Fe. I just know I have it because there's an ETP side, and a side that cares what other's think. And a side that has successfully manipulated it too. I just want to silence it most of the time.

edit: I should add that a lot of what I might be sympathetic towards Fi (on moral issues) is borrowed from my religious beliefs. I can't say it's "an internal value system". I have a value system on loan...one that I don't totally believe in. And I can discuss it clearly rather than be ambiguous or mysterious or highly personal like Fi. I wish I could believe more strongly, but my mind has a way of tearing things apart. Then I'm back to almost square one. I hold to the important bits though. Some things are worth believing, some things inspire empathy.

 

[greenfairy]

I think a lot of my Fe coincides with Se. Opening the valve on Se eventually leads to some Fe loosening up. Not quite social butterly, but it's a more social and active mode overall. I don't want to always proceed though. Usually my first inclination is weighing whether anything or anyone is worth my time. People who demand too much get grumbling or some fighting. So I'm not the greatest person to represent much Fe. I just know I have it because there's an ETP side, and a side that cares what other's think. And a side that has successfully manipulated it too. I just want to silence it most of the time.

Yeah another example of inferior Fe. Very interesting the Fe-Se connection, I wouldn't have thought of that. So do you find your Fe to be in service to your Ti? And when do their purposes clash?

 

[KDude]

Yeah another example of inferior Fe. Very interesting the Fe-Se connection, I wouldn't have thought of that. So do you find your Fe to be in service to your Ti? And when do their purposes clash?

All kinds of things. Even little things pop up. Someone could ask me to do a task or some chore, but my instinct is "Why? What's the point?" or try to come up with some solution that fixes the chore's demands, reducing it's steps to a minimum. It seems like FJ would probably just be happy to help. That has intrinsic worth to them. But when I see FJs like that, I try to encourage them to be like me more. I pity them. But I'm sure they pity me too. I'm less connected than they are, and every once in awhile, that sucks. Same goes for less demanding social related things.. I've never been one to participate in a lot of group merriment. Even if people start singing happy birthday to a 3 year old, I'm not going to do it. I have my reasons. Some things I update though.. I had enough people telling me I didn't shake hands enough and stuff like that. It got to a point where they started making fun of it.

 

[Crafter]

I can relate to the things KDude mentioned about chores. I do that a lot too.

My Fe is broken. Guess that is why I can be pretty self centered. I'm pretty good at faking Fe though. Especially when people talk to me at work about their life. I couldn't care less most of the time but it sounds like I care when I listen. It helps me not seem like a cold weirdo I guess. I do care for people that are close to me though. Like my friends, family and my pet. On rare occasions I can care for strangers, but then it usually involves a problem I like to solve.

My emotions are usually power boosted for short times. I can feel very angry or very sad/depressed. Same with love and happiness. Then it goes back to neutral within a couple of hours/days.
I don't like feeling emotional because it is something I can't control well. On the bright side being unemotional helps me to move on fairly easy from rough times.

 

[WALMART]

I suppose Fe is my tertiary function, I may be able to talk a hair about mine. May be fun. Ask me if you have any questions, though.... I seem to be able to speak better when my purpose is structured.



I like my Fe. I don't think Jung cared much for it though, in the context of the ENTP. It makes me kind of controlling of social situations, like things must go my way because I feel I know what is best for the 'pack' when social interaction is happening.

I just become afraid others will not respect the boundaries of those we are interacting with. I don't know, none of this may be true. It may be implanted ideology from that darned Jung.

 

[KDude]

I like my Fe. I don't think Jung cared much for it though, in the context of the ENTP. It makes me kind of controlling of social situations, like things must go my way because I feel I know what is best for the 'pack' when social interaction is happening.

I think I had moments of that when I was younger.. and again, when the more Se popped out, so would Fe. I'd get in these modes where I kind of marshalled friends. It also depended on my experience.. if I knew something they didn't. I distinctly remember a friend who put me in my place a bit. They were all new to partying and certain crowds (and drugs), and I was trying to give them points on do's/don'ts about some situation, and how not to be a tard.. and he was like "Screw you.. you're not our leader".. lol. Something like that. I was kind of pulling that shit for awhile for various reasons, and he made me realize how condescending it was. This may not all be Fe though.

 

[fripping]

i give people my food when they seem hungry. that's about as far as it goes. every once in a blue moon i get annoyed that people generally don't accept me as one of their own but then it goes back to sweet apathy. it's a bother when somebody is harshing my vibe because it always takes me a long time to figure out why i suddenly feel so unhappy without an apparent problem. oh it's that ass over there being unhappy. fuck your shit go be miserable somewhere else i don't know how/care enough to make you feel better unless you provide me with money or touch my weiner.

 

[WALMART]

I think I had moments of that when I was younger.. and again, when the more Se popped out, so would Fe. I'd get in these modes where I kind of marshalled friends. It also depended on my experience.. if I knew something they didn't. I distinctly remember a friend who put me in my place a bit. They were all new to partying and certain crowds (and drugs), and I was trying to give them points on do's/don'ts about some situation, and how not to be a tard.. and he was like "Screw you.. you're not our leader".. lol. Something like that. I was kind of pulling that shit for awhile for various reasons, and he made me realize how condescending it was. This may not all be Fe though.

Lol, funny. I suppose I may try to give pointers like that, if I see benefit to it, no one's ever said anything to me at least.

I think the worst thing about my Fe is that I get incredibly embarassed incredibly easily, I really don't like when people in my group are acting silly publicly because of how bad it embarasses me. I just feel like others will be annoyed, and it annoys me. Sometimes I'm able to rationalize it and say it doesn't really bother others much, but idk. I just assume people think the worst.


It has its advantages though, I have always been incredibly successful in business because of it. I am humble when dealing with customers, and always have an inviting demeanor. I bend over backwards with my Fe to stroke their Fi, and it pays. Literally. My first month managing a Uhaul the store experienced a 1,200% net profit increase... I'd like to think it was me manning the front counter all day. I never had a single poor customer review on our emailed surveys, while other stores had multiple, sometimes in the teens (even though my store was in much more disarray than others). My name was constantly brought up in meetings when reading reviews, typically customers would mention me 2-4 times a month versus the occasional once of other managers. I'd like to think my demeanor when handling others helped them overlook obvious oversights on my team's part, such as a dirty cab, or low tire pressure, yadda yadda.

I also have an innate desire to be liked by everyone. When people don't like me, it drives me crazy. I don't know. Maybe I'm egotistical.

 

[KDude]

I think the worst thing about my Fe is that I get incredibly embarassed incredibly easily, I really don't like when people in my group are acting silly publicly because of how bad it embarasses me.

This is ultimately what was motivating me too.. and why my friend called me on it. Like I said, it was condescending. Never thought like that much again. People can do what they want. It shouldn't affect me. I'll just stay away entirely from people that reflect badly on me too much, but I'm not going to press it. It might be more of an EP thing to give people or situations "makeovers". Like some descriptions call them "catalysts". I'm sure Fi and Fe go about it differently though. Like ENFPs want to unlock potential in others or something. That's different than saying people are embarassing you.

 

[WALMART]

This is ultimately what was motivating me too.. and why my friend called me on it. Like I said, it was condescending. Never thought like that much again. People can do what they want. It shouldn't affect me. I'll just stay away entirely from people that reflect badly on me too much, but I'm not going to press it. It might be more of an EP thing to give people or situations "makeovers". Like some descriptions call them "catalysts". I'm sure Fi and Fe go about it differently though. Like ENFPs want to unlock potential in others or something. That's different than saying people are embarassing you.

See, I don't really do anything either, but I remain very distant from their actions and they always seem to have an innate desire to ask why I am not having fun. I don't know, silly just is not my idea of fun. I don't lecture or anything, but I typically do not participate.

Unless we are very, very drunk. Then I'm very obnoxiously silly -_- I think it's all my repressed emotion escaping.

 

[Lexicon]

please and thank you.

Gross. Fe is gross.. that's all you need to know.

..don't you Fi-People have enough feeeeeeeeeeeelings?! You're gonna O.D. on F one of these days, & be dumped curbside at a hospital--- some ER [xsxp] surgeon's gonna just maniacally saw limbs off left & right, trying to save your vital organs from the coagulated emotion gunking up your veins...

maybe I'm mixing that up with something about high cholesterol &/or flesh-eating bacteria..

 

[WALMART]

A few times I've thought people that think like me are likely the cause of war.

Now that I understand it, I wonder if it's Fe.

 

[Rasofy]

DAMN IT! I WANT TO HEAR FE USERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FE!

That's not how you're supposed to treat people, who do you think you're talking to?
Hasn't your mother taught you any manners?
Where are the magic words?

 

[MacGuffin]

I just feel there pain because its how they feel it. Everyone has there own things that bother them and I can sympathize without personally agreeing that its something that I think is painful.

Heh, yeah. A very Fe thing to do.

I think of Fe more as the "sympathy" F function and Fi as the "empathy" F function.

 

[Lady_X]

Heh, yeah. A very Fe thing to do.

I think of Fe more as the "sympathy" F function and Fi as the "empathy" F function.

Yeah I said this to poki already but you guys totally win at sympathy because I honestly don't think I have it in me to give unless I value the issue in the same way. Like I need to understand and relate to your view of it. I need to feel you were wronged in some way. I can't pretend to feel sympathetic and if you're my friend and you're hurting and you tell me about it and I come out thinking you are in some wAy at fault or over reacting. I have to tell you. I can't just feel bad for you because you're upset. I don't know how to even do that. It feels like acting.

 

[KDude]

Yeah I said this to poki already but you guys totally win at sympathy because I honestly don't think I have it in me to give unless I value the issue in the same way. Like I need to understand and relate to your view of it. I need to feel you were wronged in some way. I can't pretend to feel sympathetic and if you're my friend and you're hurting and you tell me about it and I come out thinking you are in some wAy at fault or over reacting. I have to tell you. I can't just feel bad for you because you're upset. I don't know how to even do that. It feels like acting.

If it's acting, then what I don't understand is why make claims about Fi having big connections to humanity? These people that you refuse to act for are human too, right? Yet Fi can't identify with them? Or am I missing something?

I don't differ from your approach much either btw. I don't want to listen to everyone's problems. But I don't equate my thoughts with humane ideals or whatnot. I refuse to take the moral highground and say what I'm doing is the "right" thing necessarily. I know I'm full of fail when it comes to morality. I'm working on it.

 

[Amargith]

If it's acting, then what I don't understand is why make claims about Fi having big connections to humanity? These people that you refuse to act for are human too, right? Yet Fi can't identify with them? Or am I missing something?

I don't differ from your approach much either btw. I don't want to listen to everyone's problems. But I don't equate my thoughts with humane ideals or whatnot. I refuse to take the moral highground and say what I'm doing is the "right" thing necessarily. I know I'm full of fail when it comes to morality. I'm working on it.

The problem is that Fi demands authenticity to connect. How can you connect with someone if you truly do not see their pov? If you cannot understand where they are coming from, faking that you do is blasphemy in the eyes of Fi. That isnt a real connection, as honesty has left the building. Admitting that the connection isnt what it should be is bound to create more of a connection, than faking it till you make it..at least, for a Fi-user. At least then you know there is something to work on, more work to be done before you can get a genuine connection and fully grasp what the other person is about.

Edit: Over time, I have come to appreciate the Fe side of things on this though, where I understand that my lack of understanding of the other persons pov may be a project, but not the issue at hand. At this moment, this person is upset, and especially when I care about them, I do make the effort to change that outcome if I can, and meanwhile, gather the nuggets of info that may lead me to understand this person more fully, for my own little side project. I realize that people are different from me and it triggers my curiosity as well as my desire to be openminded to what moves them, even if it doesnt necessarily have the same impact on me. I try to grasp how the other person differs from me, and attempt to imagine how I would feel, if I were to work like that. That often does trigger the empathy I need to engage Fi and make a genuine connection.

 

[Lady_X]

If it's acting, then what I don't understand is why make claims about Fi having big connections to humanity? These people that you refuse to act for are human too, right? Yet Fi can't identify with them? Or am I missing something?

I don't differ from your approach much either btw. I don't want to listen to everyone's problems. But I don't equate my thoughts with humane ideals or whatnot. I refuse to take the moral highground and say what I'm doing is the "right" thing necessarily. I know I'm full of fail when it comes to morality. I'm working on it.

it's not even experienced as "right" at least not in any way i'm immediately aware of. i just sit and listen...and then if i hear things that make me think they were seeing the situation wrong...i tell them...or offer my perspective and we can talk it out..i mean..i guess i need to understand...so i ask more questions to clarify. but if i can't get on the same page it's hard for me to genuinely empathize.

i hear you about the humanity thing...i do.. i mean i can care for someone and care they're hurting but it feels very surface unless i can feel about it the same way they feel about it.