Opposite type parents

[meshou]

What about you, Meshou? What would you consider your opposite to be? ESTJ or ESFJ? Which do you think you'd have the most trouble with?

Oh, gosh, both sound nightmarish if they were strong either way. I sort of consider my "opposite" not T or F, but an extreme T or an extreme F. I don't have the energy or emotional reserves required for strong Fs, but I wouldn't like the TJ harshness and lack of awareness of approprate emotional response either.

I suppose my answer how I'd handle it at the moment is "badly!"

[Haight]

Having talked to people, (especially INTPs) with opposite type parents, it seems not to work well.

Well that's correct in my case.

My Mom is an ENFJ, and my Dad is an ESFP. The standing family joke, with regard to how quiet I was as a kid, went something like this:

"Mendel, why are you so quiet?"
Another relative would respond, "He's quiet because he can't get a word in with those two talking all the time"
"Hahahaha," "hahahaha..." אױ װײ.

[indigo2020]

There is a website that I found very useful in how to parent different types and it also talks about how each adult parents their children different (plus some ideas/suggestions on how to parent/teach each type).

Just naviagate your way around and you can find all sorts of great stuff.

The Personality Page

[Economica]

My one son is an ESFP. Not a total opposite... but enough.

Hey Jennifer, I really enjoyed that post, thank you.

I have no kids and as yet no maternal yearnings, just a nagging feeling that motherhood should have started to seem more appealing by now (I'm 25). I catch myself looking at kids and mentally going "come on, feel that urge!" but pragmatism easily outweighs the charm of even the cutest toddler.

Part of that pragmatism definitely involves the probability of having Sensing kids. Don't get me wrong, I have a few Sensers in my life whom I love, but they're adults. I didn't bond with S kids when I was a kid and I don't think I've gotten any more likely to since then. I think I would be a much more loving and giving mother to N kids. Edit: To be perfectly and brutally honest, I fear they're the only kids I could be a loving and giving mother to.

I'm not sure whether it makes sense to ask this question, but are there any (especially NT) mothers out there who would reconsider having their kids (especially their Sensing kids), if they could somehow turn back time? I know, once you have them, they become the center of your universe and life gets new meaning et cetera (hence my hesitation to even bother to ask), but... I guess I'm open to a surprise answer.

(Incidentally, Jennifer, I don't mean to insinuate that your post gave off regretful vibes. I was merely reminded that one can find NT mothers on this forum and that I should exploit it to ask this question. )

Edit: Damn you Fortunato! :steam:

[booyalab]

my mom's an ESFJ and I think it's been harder on her than me, heh.

[kathara]

Mom is an ESFJ and it is Hell!

[quietgirl]

My mother is an ESTP.

We have an extremely intense relationship. It can get very unhealthy, as we will develop a dependancy on one another - I think because we bring out one another's more inferior functions. I tend to be much more hardnosed than normal with her, while she will turn into an emotional basketcase with me (and she's not a very emotional person). However, we also always learn from one another - in a way that's surprisingly relatable. Our dependancy tends to escalate to the point where we need to be apart from one another, though - the best relationship I have with my mother is when there are miles between us. Now that we do have miles between us, we have a surprisingly amazing & fulfilling mother/daughter relationship.

I wonder if her being an ESTP contributed to my personality of INFJ. I always felt we made up for what one another lacked - in a weird symbiosis relationship.

My father is an ISTJ. We've had an extremely turbulant relationship - always flipping from speaking to the silent treatment because I wasn't living up to his expectations. I attribute a lot of my perfectionism to this relationship.

[prplchknz]

I had my mom take the test online, and she came out as ISFJ she didn't agree with the description, so I'm not sure of her type, based on what she told me growing up I know she was an introvert. She use to make all her own clothes in highschool, and was going to go into fashion, until she found out she was allergic to the chemicals at the factory. She wanted to make the clothes, she loves knitting and sewing, and embroidering, She's knitting me double insulated mittens. She also enjoys helping others such as organizing events, offering our house for people to use for parties, and is alway baking cakes for people (This is because of a St. that she prays to when you lose something, well when you find it you have to bake someone a cake, and she's always losing things) . She nows does research for work and is a workaholic and gets mad if someone doesn't do something the way she thinks it needs to be done.

I get along with in small doses and as long as I don't have to work with her.

My dad as far as I can tell is an INTP. Don't have any real proof one way or the other with him. We're the most alike in thought processes, but still different. He's a bio medical engineer. He has a ton of friends, but my mom pointed out that he didn't really come out of his shell until later in his life, and doesn't share much about himself with others.

My brother had it the hardest he's as far as I can tell an ESTP but he was always talking and getting in trouble for being loud.

[xNFJiminy]

The adults in my early childhood were two ESFXs and an ISFJ. I remember no problems there at all. I had a very good start. Later, there was an INTJ and the ISFJ, while I still saw the ESFXs regularly. The INTJ is the only one with whom there are chronic issues, but although his extreme T doesn't help, they can't be put down to ordinary type differences. I just keep a sensible distance and see him as a case study.

[Randomnity]

If I ever end up with an NF child, that would be an uhh...interesting challenge. I pity the poor kid.

My dad's almost opposite to me type-wise (ENTj) but we share many similarities such as sense of humour and general approach to life, and we got along well in my early teenage years. Our problems now are unrelated to type.

My mom is type-wise relatively close to me (INFP) but we are worlds apart. I have always found it very difficult to understand her choices. We are friendly though.