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Fe vs. Fi and self sacrificing

The Great One

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Isn't it more an Fe thing than Fi thing to be self-sacrificing? Just curious.

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] here is the thread I told you that I would create
 

Santosha

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It is never the what and always the why. The object here (self-sacrificing) does not belong exclusively to either function. Fe could or could not be this but whatever they are, it will be processed through cultural values/external. The fi user is the same but it will be processed through internal values. You could find an Fi that has internally concluded that self-sacrifice is of great meaning, highly valued, and they could potentially be more self-sacrificing (assuming we have a good measure on this) than Fe who has developed their values through external sources that did not believe this was important. And you can flip it. My opinion ofcourse =)
 

The Great One

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It is never the what and always the why. The object here (self-sacrificing) does not belong exclusively to either function. Fe could or could not be this but whatever they are, it will be processed through cultural values/external. The fi user is the same but it will be processed through internal values. You could find an Fi that has internally concluded that self-sacrifice is of great meaning, highly valued, and they could potentially be more self-sacrificing (assuming we have a good measure on this) than Fe who has developed their values through external sources that did not believe this was important. And you can flip it. My opinion ofcourse =)

But, I would think that Fi is more about what "they want" and Fe is more about what "others want" and it seems like it would be way more of an Fe thing than an Fi thing?
 

cascadeco

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But, I would think that Fi is more about what "they want" and Fe is more about what "others want" and it seems like it would be way more of an Fe thing than an Fi thing?

I think Fe may trend more towards factoring in other peoples' needs/opinions/etc in moving towards a decision or in maintaining/guiding relationships, but it can vary greatly amongst Fe users as to motives around this, as well as how much of their own concerns/preferences they bring to the table as well.

I also think a Culture/group which values Self-sacrifice as one of its leading principles will mean Fe-ers AND Si-ers (i.e. all SJ's, and SFJ's in particular, since they have both Fe and Si) will be more prone to adopting that value. Si is another powerful element that comes into play in embracing and maintaining cultural traditions and principles (which is why SJ's change from one generation to the next -- because each generation has new values/concerns, if you will). I'd actually argue that Si is more of a driving force in all of this than Fe.

On the other hand, if you're in a culture or group which holds the opposite value ... every man for himself, the self-made man, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps... Fe-ers and Si-ers may be more prone to adopting the opposite ... i.e., a lack of willingness for self-sacrifice.

As Huxley mentions, though, an Fi-er who personally believes and holds to the self-sacrifice value will be just as likely to be self-sacrificial as an Fe-er who might be that way due to be it being more of a cultural norm.

Also, as she says, many Fe-ers in fact are NOT terribly self-sacrificial, whether due to the culture they're in, OR the fact that they too aren't blindly led by cultural norms and develop their own beliefs over time. And the fact that in the end, imo, Fe isn't 'about' self-sacrifice any more than Fi is 'about' non-self-sacrifice.
 

Lady_X

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But, I would think that Fi is more about what "they want" and Fe is more about what "others want" and it seems like it would be way more of an Fe thing than an Fi thing?

Sometimes what a fi user wants is what's better for the other person tho. I can be very self sacrificing when I believe what the other person needs is more important than how it makes me feel.
 

skylights

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Like Huxley said, it's about the why.

An NFP will generally be most self-sacrificing in situations where they feel the sacrifice is representative of, and highly meaningful to, a greater cause. Lady X expressed it right - sometimes the cause is more important than oneself. That cause can be anything from ending injustice in the workplace to fostering a good romantic relationship.

The Great One said:
But, I would think that Fi is more about what "they want" and Fe is more about what "others want" and it seems like it would be way more of an Fe thing than an Fi thing?

This is a pretty simplistic definition of the Fi/Fe split - more accurate is to say that Fi looks internally first and then moves outward, while Fe looks externally first and then moves inwards. This results in Fi users being more aware of their personal feelings and emotions, but also attentive to others' internal feelings, as well as the feelings within groups. Fe users, on the other hand, are more aware of feelings and relationships between themselves and others, as well as between members of groups, and between groups themselves.

So it's not that FPs are more self-centered, it's just that we tend to look inward with our F function just as TPs look inward at systems with their T. And we do look inward to our values to see if something is worth sacrificing our time, money, effort, or feelings for. INFPs in particular are generally recognized to be quite self-sacrificing.

cascadeco said:
Si is another powerful element that comes into play in embracing and maintaining cultural traditions and principles

I think we need to be careful about Si, because it's frequently misunderstood... as far as I understand it, it's more about drawing wisdom from past experience than about maintenance (lol, maybe in ISxJs it often manifests like that saying about "if it's not broke, don't fix it")... I think it's almost more of an NF thing to romanticize self-sacrifice, as well as cultural traditions... in general, I suspect most SJs will self-sacrifice if they believe that is the most reliable method to achieve their goal. I think that's true for both my ESFJ mom and boyfriend.
 

highlander

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I think someone who prefers Fi vs. Fe can respond to a situation in the same way but for very different reasons.
 

AgentF

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what skylights and lady jaye and huxley said.

it's like a zero-sum game, where everyone gets a piece of cupcake w sprinkles. advanced Fi (which may begin to look like Fe) is a really weird holistic score-keeping which requires constant monitoring of ourselves and others to know when to act on someone else's behalf, our own, or for the greater good. and the monitoring seems to become more sophisticated/externalized the more mature the Fi-user is.

and i don't know about other Fi-users but i sometimes get exhausted "managing" my emotions and everyone's around me. and the best way i can think of to deal with it, is this:

yoga-dork-kitty.jpg



aux shouldn't make my head hurt but this topic does.
 

pinkgraffiti

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Again? We've already been through this in the INFJ forum. I thought we'd gone somewhere...
But, I would think that Fi is more about what "they want" and Fe is more about what "others want" and it seems like it would be way more of an Fe thing than an Fi thing?
 

cascadeco

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I think we need to be careful about Si, because it's frequently misunderstood... as far as I understand it, it's more about drawing wisdom from past experience than about maintenance (lol, maybe in ISxJs it often manifests like that saying about "if it's not broke, don't fix it")... I think it's almost more of an NF thing to romanticize self-sacrifice, as well as cultural traditions... in general, I suspect most SJs will self-sacrifice if they believe that is the most reliable method to achieve their goal. I think that's true for both my ESFJ mom and boyfriend.

You may be right and I may be assigning the wrong 'motive'/reason, if you will, for Si.

I guess I was thinking of my ISTJ mom when I wrote that, as what many people typically cite as 'Fe concerns' or 'that's Fe' are things that my mom does, and my mom has pretty much zero Fe and is definitely an ISTJ (one of only a handful of people I can type with certitude, lol). :) Things like... good table manners, certain social courtesies, expectations/'you shoulds' that she has around various things (mailing thank-you cards), and the like. I think it is more a product of her time/generation/how she was raised, and things that, as you say, she perhaps draws wisdom from (Si/past experience, as tied to traditions/generation she was raised in), but that in many mbti discussions would be things that people might automatically attribute to Fe. That was what I was trying to get across. But now I'm kind of getting off topic and not even talking about the self-sacrifice concept anymore.
 

Lady_X

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I think that's just about duty. Like they just have the rule book of life and follow it to a t. Like it is more important than how they feel or it defines how they feel. It's an odd thing for sure and I'm not sure I'm expressing it right but that's what it looks like from the outside.
 

The Great One

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I think Fe may trend more towards factoring in other peoples' needs/opinions/etc in moving towards a decision or in maintaining/guiding relationships, but it can vary greatly amongst Fe users as to motives around this, as well as how much of their own concerns/preferences they bring to the table as well.

I also think a Culture/group which values Self-sacrifice as one of its leading principles will mean Fe-ers AND Si-ers (i.e. all SJ's, and SFJ's in particular, since they have both Fe and Si) will be more prone to adopting that value. Si is another powerful element that comes into play in embracing and maintaining cultural traditions and principles (which is why SJ's change from one generation to the next -- because each generation has new values/concerns, if you will). I'd actually argue that Si is more of a driving force in all of this than Fe.

On the other hand, if you're in a culture or group which holds the opposite value ... every man for himself, the self-made man, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps... Fe-ers and Si-ers may be more prone to adopting the opposite ... i.e., a lack of willingness for self-sacrifice.

As Huxley mentions, though, an Fi-er who personally believes and holds to the self-sacrifice value will be just as likely to be self-sacrificial as an Fe-er who might be that way due to be it being more of a cultural norm.

Also, as she says, many Fe-ers in fact are NOT terribly self-sacrificial, whether due to the culture they're in, OR the fact that they too aren't blindly led by cultural norms and develop their own beliefs over time. And the fact that in the end, imo, Fe isn't 'about' self-sacrifice any more than Fi is 'about' non-self-sacrifice.

So what you are saying is that Si, Fi, and Fe all can do this. Wow.
 
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