satisfying N-S conversation

[Sigil]

I've had numerous satisfying conversations with S types. Just because a person has a different perspective to your own, doesn't mean you can't have deep interesting conversations with them. I'm part of a book club which is mostly made up of sensors and I often find their interpretation of a novel to be fascinating and insightful. While it is true that they may be a bit reluctant to compare the narrative's symbolism with Schopenhauer, it doesn't mean that they are shallow or boring.

 

[Asterion]

I think people just like to hear something new, and often like to take things on board if they like it enough. Before I knew my brothers well enough, I would not share the same sense of values that I have today. They presented to me values like loyalty and pride, you have to fight for what you believe in, and take pride in yourself. I used to consider these qualities to be irrational or irrelevant. Sometimes people show qualities that I already have, but never realized how valuable they have always been. Just like that INFP suggested to Poki, you need to have a teacher or a guide to make the best of life. A student will excel with a lot more ease than someone who goes without. This is what we come to the forum to share, this is also what we are all doing now on this forum, giving perspectives and letting anyone make of it what they will. That's what conversation is, MBTI is a classification of flavour, just like saltiness and bitterness, sure it doesn't perfectly define the ultimately greyscale universe, but neither does saltiness and nobody has had any problems with that. It's been said before, people come in all sorts of flavours, just like cashews, onions and bananas. The only time when conversation sucks is when it's onesided, or there is nothing new to share. That's when you go and try a different flavour... which is not how marriage works lol, silly Christians.

 

[Anew Leaf]

My INFP co-worker has always called me her mentor/tutor/teacher. I have yet to really figure out what that means

It means that you have a wisdom she doesn't have and she has enough sense to recognize the difference and appreciate it.

How boring and inefficient life would be were we all the same.

A world run by NFPs = shudder.

 

[WhimsyGirl]

My brother is an ESFP and we have great convos. S's seem to have a less messy outlook on life (ie more straightforward) that i looooooove. i also have a few S friends and it's refreshing sometimes to just talk abt clothes...or food...tht kinda thing. but not for as long as they might wanna

 

[rav3n]

Three main issues but not isolated to such:

1. Ability to communicate clearly.
2. Ability to grasp what's being communicated.
3. Shared interests.

But if you're looking for a non-platonic long-term relationship like marriage, I wouldn't suggest an N/S combination unless you're both borderliners of the N/S dichotomy.

 

[Randomnity]

for those of you who have had satisfying extended conversation with people of the opposite Perceiving preference, what was it that made the conversation satisfying? and do you tend to find a major difference in P preferences regarding conversation IRL? or is there another facet of type or personality that plays in?

My 3 best friends are all N guys - INFJ, ENTP, INTJ (although the last one is kinda borderline imo, sometimes more ISTJ). I don't talk with them about "big things" very often, usually it's just random banter and hanging out. I've had some hours-long conversations with each of them that have been satisfying for me, I suppose it's possible they might have been secretly bored.

I don't think I gravitate more to Ns - it just seems like there are more of them around in my social group (pretty much all university grads/grad students). So I don't have many S friends to compare them to - I have some S friends, but they're more acquaintance level. There is my ISFP ex, who was definitely not a good conversationalist, but I don't want to extrapolate anything from that to ALL S's....

What makes conversation satisfying? Any number of things. Learning new things, seeing things from a new perspective, bouncing around ideas, sharing and comparing experiences, being entertained, etc. I don't think this is necessarily different for S vs Ns, although I would imagine that every person has slightly different preferences for what they enjoy in a conversation.

That said, if you divorce the S vs N from the actual person, "N ideas" in extreme (and talked about too long) can be very boring, as can "S ideas". Luckily I've never met anyone who is limited to either set of ideas - even someone with a very strong preference will have some overlap. That's just how people are, we aren't so black and white!

 

[jixmixfix]

Its not about sacrifices, its about how brains processes information.

But both have strengths and weaknessess Ns sacrafice details for the bigger, S's sacrfice bigger picture for details.

 

[King sns]

But both have strengths and weaknessess Ns sacrafice details for the bigger, S's sacrfice bigger picture for details.

Yeah. I always think of strong S who has binoculars stuck on their face while strong N has an unzoomable panoramic camera stuck on their face. Both are going to trip or bump into things. Kind of off topic, oh well.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Yeah. I always think of strong S who has binoculars stuck on their face while strong N has an unzoomable panoramic camera stuck on their face. Both are going to trip or bump into things. Kind of off topic, oh well.

this is why i didn't have you on my friends list until you changed to enfp.
















































p.s. this is a joke before i get hate reps.

 

[INTP]

But both have strengths and weaknessess Ns sacrafice details for the bigger, S's sacrfice bigger picture for details.

Well you could see it like that too, but if you think it as S brains processing details instead of big picture, so there wont be no big picture perception most the time at all, so its not really a sacrifice thats being made, its just that S brains are wired to process detail, so is it an sacrifice anymore or just a different path on early development?

But if you think it in terms of personal development, like some S person in his 20's noticing that he needs to start paying more attention to big picture, then he has to sacrifice details for big picture. But if its about single thought being processed, then i dont see any sacrifice, but a preference.

Btw josh homme is the god of rock

 

[skylights]

Did you really use these examples on an MBTI forum with your ENFP type clearly visible?

just making my type doubly obvious

Sometimes I feel that Ns generalize S conversations to be about the weather, their children, work, partying, shopping, going to the gym, etc.

These people have never talked to a fun, intelligent ISxP. Or a thoughtful, quirky xSFJ.

Very interesting point of view to this subject. Topic never dying is always such an fascinating thing. People are continuint to talk and when you think the topic will be untouched for so long that it looks like its finally being burried, some newbie will find it and bring it up again. Then ofc there are other people who are new, changed their opinion or simply forgot that they posted on the topic and will keep it up for the next few weeks again, and you can only hope it would be left alone for long enough time that no one can find it, BUT there is again some newbie bumping the topic, usually just when you started to have some hope. After this shit goes on with multiple topics for years, you finally start to let go of your hope, but thats when it happen, a topic dies and tou get your hope back and can continue with your normal life without having to worry about topics dying.

it's true! certain topics just get constantly zombied over time. it's almost comforting to see them?

i do feel like that says something about how significant they are, if they keep coming up. this N-S thing comes up frequently. i assume it's probably half major misunderstanding and half interesting truth.

I think that I tend to over-complicate things by over-thinking and on the whole, an S type is less likely to do so. So they can bring me back to fundamentals, which is wonderful.

Interesting conversations (or conversational trends) that I can think of with S types:

-One of my best friends, ISxJ - can talk for hours and hours with her about mutual acquaintances, world affairs, books, movies, travel... She gets a bit bored when I go on about poetry. I get a bit bored when she tells me about buying a new laundry machine. That's about it. We mostly understand each other fairly well and we're both interesting people. She's a bit more down to earth, I'm a bit more dramatic. We are quite similar in some other ways.

-ISTJ female friend who listens to my frustrations about a difficult mutual acquaintance and offers practical suggestions. ESTJ male friend who does something similar, with a bit more of I'm-a-man-so-I-will-be-gallant-and-help-you-out, which I have to admit I quite enjoy.

-ISTP male friend who has a weird and slightly juvenile sense of humour, cool, nice guy, laid back. We were both ex-pats from the same country so we used to chat about common cultural references and have a laugh, and occasionally cheer each other up a bit.

I could think of more examples if I had more time. If I had all NF/NT friends I'd probably go nuts. I get lost in the windmills of my mind enough as it is. Other Ns are not always that good at dragging me out - in some cases they could be, but in many cases they could drag me farther in.

Appreciate everyone good in your life, regardless of type. Take them as friends (or whatever) first, later see if you can figure out types and think about whether things can be tweaked for the better on that basis.

@ first sentence - me too. thanks for the examples, i was curious about stuff like that especially

I That's what conversation is, MBTI is a classification of flavour, just like saltiness and bitterness, sure it doesn't perfectly define the ultimately greyscale universe, but neither does saltiness and nobody has had any problems with that. It's been said before, people come in all sorts of flavours, just like cashews, onions and bananas. The only time when conversation sucks is when it's onesided, or there is nothing new to share.

i like this

 

[INTP]

it's true! certain topics just get constantly zombied over time. it's almost comforting to see them?

i do feel like that says something about how significant they are, if they keep coming up. this N-S thing comes up frequently. i assume it's probably half major misunderstanding and half interesting truth.

Yep, but you know i was just Ne rambling for the heck of it

But you are right about that showing the significance of those topics that refuse to die, but sometimes topics should just die because they feed stereotypes or give false image of something.

 

[skylights]

Yep, but you know i was just Ne rambling for the heck of it

But you are right about that showing the significance of those topics that refuse to die, but sometimes topics should just die because they feed stereotypes or give false image of something.

i know. i know Ne rambling when i see it!

but as usual with Ne rambling, you had truthful insights anyway.

i figure that even if it's the same topic over and over it doesn't mean there can't be new realizations. but yeah, certain ones should just get lost.

 

[INTP]

i know. i know Ne rambling when i see it!

but as usual with Ne rambling, you had truthful insights anyway.

i figure that even if it's the same topic over and over it doesn't mean there can't be new realizations. but yeah, certain ones should just get lost.

I dont really see it as insight what i was rambling about, i had just woken up and was trying to ramble as much as possible about, well nothing really..

Anyways you should really check this out:

Part1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlHjmopMx8o
part2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjqUMhSxmQ8
Part3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhVY-c-w0gQ

Hardcore INTP Ne rambling on the part 3 second scene if i remember right

 

[jixmixfix]

Well you could see it like that too, but if you think it as S brains processing details instead of big picture, so there wont be no big picture perception most the time at all, so its not really a sacrifice thats being made, its just that S brains are wired to process detail, so is it an sacrifice anymore or just a different path on early development?

But if you think it in terms of personal development, like some S person in his 20's noticing that he needs to start paying more attention to big picture, then he has to sacrifice details for big picture. But if its about single thought being processed, then i dont see any sacrifice, but a preference.

Btw josh homme is the god of rock

There is big picture perception for S types it's just not seen as often as an N type. Same with N types details are less seen and the bigger picture is more clear it's absurd to say one is completely blind to the other. There is strength and weakness in both and there is a trade off because of preference, brain wiring etc. A big misconception is that "n" types are "smarter" then "s" types which is not the case at all both types have their strengths and weaknesses. It's definitely not black and white though.

 

[jixmixfix]

Yeah. I always think of strong S who has binoculars stuck on their face while strong N has an unzoomable panoramic camera stuck on their face. Both are going to trip or bump into things. Kind of off topic, oh well.

I think S types really have to experience something to believe it. I know for myself I have to test the boots(I'll say boots because it's winter ) before I buy it. This is good because I know the boots will be conformable because I took the time to try it on. An N type might see a pair of boots online that fit his size foot well and buy it. The problem is he never tried it on and it might be uncomfortable even though the specs on the boots were suppose to be of fit.

 

[Owfin]

I think S types really have to experience something to believe it. I know for myself I have to test the boots(I'll say boots because it's winter ) before I buy it. This is good because I know the boots will be conformable because I took the time to try it on. An N type might see a pair of boots online that fit his size foot well and buy it. The problem is he never tried it on and it might be uncomfortable even though the specs on the boots were suppose to be of fit.

I think your description of N types describes a Ni type more than a Ne type.

 

[INTP]

There is big picture perception for S types it's just not seen as often as an N type. Same with N types details are less seen and the bigger picture is more clear it's absurd to say one is completely blind to the other. There is strength and weakness in both and there is a trade off because of preference, brain wiring etc. A big misconception is that "n" types are "smarter" then "s" types which is not the case at all both types have their strengths and weaknesses. It's definitely not black and white though.

People usually have 10 fingers. Now you might wonder why i said something like that, well your reaponce is similar to this, what you said doesent have much to do with what i said and what you said is obvious to me.

 

[jixmixfix]

People usually have 10 fingers. Now you might wonder why i said something like that, well your reaponce is similar to this, what you said doesent have much to do with what i said and what you said is obvious to me.

What you said seemed obvious to me as well you didn't really elaborate on your idea so I just gave a response according to what you said.

 

[jixmixfix]

I think your description of N types describes a Ni type more than a Ne type.

no